The Light In My Darkest Day
by xojade
Summary: Hecate (Cate) is new to Charming, neighbour to the ever inquisitive Gemma and working as an ER doctor at ST Thomas with a past that haunts her both mentally and physically. Both suffering with their own issues, can she and Juice find peace within each other? Will she be happy in Charming when she thought she wouldn't? They are each other's light in the dark.
1. Chapter 1

Hey all! I've been reading a lot of SOA fics lately and I felt super inspired to portray my own idea into writing. I hope you like this as much as I do. Be kind! xo

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CHAPTER ONE

A paramedic rushed through the double doors of the emergency department, followed by a trolley and another medic directing it through the doors. The wheels rattled in protest at the speed in which it was being pushed through the hallway. "We've got a female, 22 years old, found unconscious in the park." The paramedic spoke out loud to the team who had immediately rushed to the trolley; they'd been warned of her arrival once the paramedics had left the scene. Immediately each member of the team proceeded to do their individual allocated jobs, clearing a space for Cate who was at the head of the bed in an instant. She took a quick glance down at the information that had been handed to her by one of the medics, before moving to look down at the injured woman, placing a hand to the side of her head whilst bringing out her pen torch from her pocket. She was pleased to see that the woman was just about conscious, but that meant very little in the grand scheme of things. "She came too in the ambulance, barely though." The male paramedic added directly to Cate, and she nodded her head in thanks.

"Hey sweetheart, can you tell me your name?" she spoke loudly, flashing the bright light into each of the patient's eyes, checking for the response of her pupils. She wasn't happy with the way the pupils reacted and she pushed her lips together with a frown.

"Sandra…" the blonde slurred in response, her eyes flickering slowly from one person to another, blinking slowly. Cate noted that her eyes were slightly bloodshot and red around the lids.. She was under the influence of something. Cate looked down at the blondes arm and turned it palm up, that was when she noticed that scattered across her pasty skin were a mixture of old and fresh track marks, one of which had some fresh blood around it. She sighed and clenched her teeth, one of her awful stress-induced habits. This town was full of crackheads and drug addicts; she'd seen way too many incidents like this during her short amount of time working there.

"Great. Sandra, do you know where you are right now?" she asked, popping the pen torch back into the pocket of her scrubs. She watched her face whilst waiting for a reply, trying to gauge her reactions as part of her quick examination. One of her colleagues passed her a clipboard with the patients observations jotted down onto it and she cast her blue eyes down to the paper. After the briefest of looks, she nodded her head in thanks and passed it back to the nurse beside her. Cate looked back down at Sandra, another frown tugging at her brow. "Sandra, I asked if you know where you are? Can you tell me what happened to you?" she repeated a little more firmly this time. The patient made a small sound, barely enough to be considered a mumble. Within seconds she clicked that something was about to wrong, and before it had even begun Cate was shouting "She's crashing!" Sandra's eyes rolled to the back of her skull in an instant and her body began to convulse violently as the heart monitor rang out with a series of quick beeps. "Get me the Naloxone!" she demanded to her team and within seconds a syringe was passed to her which she quickly grabbed. She flicked the end and pushed until some of the liquid trickled out of the syringe to ensure there was no air, before bringing it to Sandra's left arm which her colleague was kindly holding down for her. She worked so quick that her team barely knew what she was doing until she had done it. Cate pushed the Naloxone into a vein, emptying the contents of the syringe into the young girls system.

Even though the patient was still convulsing, she raised her hand as a sign for her team to hold fire. The anaesthetist was still at Sandra's head, tilting her head back to keep the airway clear. There wasn't much else they could do whilst she was fitting, they could cause more harm than good. However, the drug she had just administered was a drug that reversed the effects of opiate overdoses and would take just a couple of minutes to kick in. Almost like clockwork, Sandra's body began to still and the beeping of the heart monitor started to slow down. The tension within everybody's bodies left them and they all let out sighs of relief. Cate, however, always looked tense and didn't often look pleased, she was hard to read, she knew that much. "Good call, doc." One of the nurses commented whilst tending to Sandra who was now completely still. Cate did nothing but nod her head once, bringing her hands up to rest on her hips as she silently observed the young blonde girl in front of her.

"I want you to continue monitoring her vitals, take some bloods and I'll prescribe another dose of Naloxone in case anything like this happens again. We don't know how much she's had and I suspect that it's heroin." Cate spoke without looking away from the blonde, biting on the inside of her lip for a moment. She grabbed the drug chart, scribbling down some prescriptions. "Dan, I've written up a 4 hourly bag of fluids, if you can get that going please." She turned her attention to the nurse with dark hair stood at her side, passing him the drug chart. He nodded his head at her and got to it. She liked this team; they did what they were told with no questions asked. She popped her pen into her front pocket and looked at the 2 remaining members of the team now that the others had gone back to their previous jobs, since Sandra was now relatively stable. "If her oxygen levels drop below 94 percent, pop some nasal specs in. And if you could do an ECG, that would be fantastic." She requested, smiling a small smile as she popped her hand onto Lisa's shoulder. Lisa was another one of the nurses, a fantastic one at that.

"No problem, Cate." She chirped and went off to do as she was asked.

Cate grabbed the notes from the side and retreated to the nurse's station, passing through the otherwise quiet emergency department and all the empty beds. Charming was a small place so the ER wasn't always busting with emergencies. A lot of the time it was slips and trips, bumps and bruises that brought patients into her department which was a hell of a lot different to what she was used to. The raven-haired doctor let out a big huff as she dropped down onto one of the spinning desk chairs. The doctor who would be taking over for the night shift had arrived and was stood across from her, leaning against the desk. His name was Tom and he was a great doctor, but a massive flirt. He'd asked her out on several occasions already, of which she had declined every single one. He was a nice guy, but she wasn't looking to date and in total honesty, she just wasn't interested.

"Hey Cate, how's the day been? Quiet as usual?" he asked with a wide grin, tapping his pen against the palm of his other open hand.

"It's been alright, my day ended with _another_ overdose. I swear this town has a huge problem and everybody just overlooks it." It was true, it was as if the locals just swept it under the carpet and ignored the problem. Even the sheriff's department lacked control over the situation. "She's over in bay 6, so far she's stable and I've got the team sorting everything else out. You might wanna go check the ECG and blood results though." She advised him with a small smile, whilst standing up and passing him the set of notes that she had been holding on her lap. Tom chuckled lightly and took the notes, in one hand and saluted her with the other.

"Yes ma'am." He joked and she rolled her eyes so far, she thought she might lose them in the back of her head. Rumours had spread about her career history and she wasn't fond of it, she hated gossip.

"Alright. Have a good night." Cate said her goodbyes and parted ways with him, making her way to the staff room to collect her things and finally leave after what had been a busy 18 hour day.

Cate was met with a warm breeze as she exited the hospital and stepped out in the night. She stood for a minute and tilted her head back, inhaling deeply and letting all her tensions go with one big exhale through parted plump lips. She still wasn't sure if she could be happy here, but for now it was all she had, and she was in no position to be picky. Opening her eyes, she looked up at the starry night sky for a brief moment before sniffling and looking back ahead of her. The car park wasn't very busy and she'd parked in the closest space available so it didn't take her long to get there. Anyone watching would have noticed the smallest limp in her walk, so slight that if you weren't looking long enough you would miss it. Her knee was painful some days and completely tolerable on others. Today was one of the bad days and she blamed it on herself for the short run she had gone on the night before last. It was an old injury which would stick with her forever and be a constant reminder of what she could never achieve.

Within minutes she was in her car and had started the engine, it ticked over nicely and she couldn't help but run her hands over the leather of the steering wheel. She'd recently become the owner of a 1981 Chevrolet Camaro Z28 and it was her pride and joy. She toyed with revving the engine just to hear her purr but she just wanted to get home. So without a second more of delay, she put her car into gear and left the hospital. She didn't live too far away, but far enough to be able to enjoy the drive. Driving was something she'd always liked doing, she'd been a bit of a car fanatic during her tomboy teenage years and it hadn't quite left her.

Cate stopped at some traffic lights, the glow of the red illuminating the interior of her car and she glanced at herself in the rear-view mirror for a moment, admiring the red hue. It was then she heard loud rumbling engines, louder than her poor little Camaro. They were that of Harley-Davidson motorbikes. She'd often heard them around town.. In fact, there was always one outside of her neighbour's house, sometimes even more! With a brief glance out of her window she spotted the line of the rumbling motorcycles. They sounded like angry dragons and she couldn't help but smile at the childish thought, she was _definitely_ tired and _definitely_ needed some sleep if a thought like _that_ was enough to make her laugh. She looked again, only this time, her eyes met with a pair of big brown eyes, looking directly at her from his place on the bike beside her. She couldn't bring herself to look away and as she held eye contact with him, the sound of the loud rumbling engines slowly became background noise to the point where she barely even noticed it was there. Suddenly, he gave her the goofiest, biggest and kindest smile she'd ever seen and he nodded his head to the side. She arched her brow, not quite getting what he was doing or his gesture, until a honk of a horn from behind her broke her out of her trance. She came crashing back to reality and noticed that her car was now illuminated green with the change of lights. She kicked her car into gear and sped off from the traffic lights, leaving behind the smiling biker. If only she knew that this would be the man who would make Charming a place worth living.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

 _ **BANG!**_ _There was a loud explosion to her side, making the ground shake beneath her feet._ _ **BANG!**_ _Another explosion, only this time it came from a completely different direction._ _ **BANG! BANG!**_ _More explosions around her, leaving her feeling completely disorientated. Gunfire ensued and figures dressed in khaki duck and dove behind any barriers they could find._ _ **BANG!**_ _Debris flew everywhere, shrapnel scattered across the ground like a rainfall of metal pieces. It was as if it would never end. Cate was stood in the centre of all the madness, as if she were frozen, stuck to one spot with lead boots that wouldn't move. Dust and smoke filled the air like a toxic mist, burning at her blue eyes, blue eyes that had seen horrific things. There was blood everywhere… Men lay on the floor with missing limbs, nowhere to be seen. It felt as though she were spinning as the explosions and gunfire continued, rotating on a spinning platform, forced to watch the mayhem in each and every direction. She stared down at a body in front of her, his face covered in blood and missing scraps of flesh as a result of shrapnel. His eyes shot open._

Cate shot up in bed with a desperate gasp for air, her chest rising and falling rapidly with each quick and ragged breath she took. Beads of sweat rolled down the side of her face, down her chin, all the way down to the curve of her breast. Slowly she lifted her shaking hands to her face, slowly pulling them up and over her head to brush away the strands of her that had become stuck to her face which was damp with sweat. She let out a shaky breath and shuffled to the edge of the bed and got out of it, she had felt how damp the sheets were as she pushed herself up from the mattress. She left her bedroom, her bare feet gently patting against the floorboards as she made her way down the hallway in her knickers and vest top. Cate had to squint her eyes as she flipped the light switch in her bathroom, the bright light coming on with a gentle audible _buzz_. Once her eyes had adjusted to the light, her eyelids opened fully and she moved over to the sink. She ran some cold water, tucked her hair behind her ears and lowered her face to the cool stream gushing from the tap. Using her hands, she cupped some of the water and splashed it over her face, the tension in her shoulders instantly easing at the refreshing coolness of it. She filled up a glass of water and then turned the tap off and leant over the sink slightly with her eyes closed, holding onto the edge of it after placing her glass down, her knuckles white due to her forceful grip.

She took a deep breath and exhaled heavily, opening her eyes in the process and straightening her posture. It was then that she looked at herself in the mirror. She was tired and looked it too; her long and wavy black hair was dishevelled and messy from her tossing and turning in bed. On her face were a few scattered tiny white lines, scars from her past. She paid little attention to the rest of her appearance, she knew she looked rubbish; she was tired and hadn't been sleeping well the last couple of nights. After one last quick glance at herself in the mirror, she collected her glass of water, turned her back on herself and left the bathroom, turning off the light as she went. Upon returning to her bedroom, the light from the moon through the window being enough to light her way, she made her way back to her messy bed. The covers were a tangled mess from her restless sleep, it didn't surprise her much. Cate perched on the edge nearest to her bedside table, and she reached for a medicine bottle which resided permanently on that surface. Out of it, she shook out one of her prescribed sleeping tablets and tossed it into her mouth followed by a swig of her water. She placed both the bottle and the glass down onto the wooden surface, but before retracting her hand, her fingers brushed over something that twinkled gently in the moonlight. They were cold to the touch and she gulped at the memories the items brought back. They were her scratched up dog tags. With a sigh, she pushed herself backwards and rolled onto her side on the bed, facing away from her bedside table. Would her nightmares ever end?

 _ **BANG! BANG! BANG!**_

Cate's eyes shot open at the loud noise which had brought her out of her peaceful, drug-induced slumber. Had she imagined it?

 _ **BANG! BANG! BANG!**_

Nope. Not her imagination. It was her front door, someone banging excessively loud on her front door. "I'm coming!" she yelled groggily, hoping that whoever it was would hear her from the depth of her house. Cate groaned as she pushed herself out of bed and to her feet, her body ached, that's often what happened when she took her meds to help her sleep. She slept so deeply and heavily that she barely moved and her poor back would end up killing her the next day. She pulled on an over-sized hoody and walked as quickly as she could to her front door. Opening the door, she was met with a middle-aged woman, fist raised, ready to knock on her door some more. Cate squinted in the light that had suddenly gushed through her doorway. What time was it?  
The woman in front of her lowered her hand to her hip and shifted her weight onto her left leg. Cate raised an eyebrow, still squinting slightly as her tired eyes hadn't yet adjusted to daylight. "Can I help you?" her voice was quiet and groggy. She really didn't like taking those tablets, but with nights like last night, she had no choice. The woman in front of her smirked and her brow raised over her sunglasses.

"Isn't it a little late to be sleeping in?" The stranger asked, with what sounded like an almost cocky tone. Cate was confused, she'd not seen this woman before, and had no idea why she was on her doorstep.

"I don't know.. _Is it_?" Cate retorted with a shrug but couldn't contain her curiosity, so she glanced over her shoulder at the clock hanging from her wall and her eyes widened a little when she realised what time it was. "Oh shitting hell." She huffed. It was 2pm, she'd slept for 11 hours thanks to that one little pill. She heard the woman clear her throat and whilst Cate's back was turned, she rolled her eyes and then turned back to face her with a big forced smile. "I work long hours?" she tried to justify and it wasn't like it was a complete lie, she _did_ work long hours. The woman gave a quick laugh and nodded her head.

"Don't need to explain yourself to me, honey." She responded before holding up a cardboard box in front of her, towards Cate. She gave it an inquisitive look before looking back up at the lady. "It's not a bomb for Christ sake… the UPS guy said you didn't answer this morning, so he asked _me_ to take it."

"Oh.. Oops." Cate whispered, giving the woman a sheepish and tired smile. "Thank you, you didn't have to do that." She continued and reached out, taking the medium sized box from the hands of the other woman.

"Not a problem, I was happy to help. In fact I gave me an excuse to finally come over and snoop on my mysterious new neighbour." She grinned again and lifted her sunglasses up to rest on top of her dark and highlighted hair. "I'm Gemma." She held out her hand.

"Cate." She answered whilst reaching out to take her hand, giving it a brief shake before retracting her hand and placing it back on the box. She didn't really know what to make of this _Gemma._ She wasn't sure that she had seen her around before, but then again she worked stupid hours and rarely spent time out in the neighbourhood if she didn't need to.

"Nice to meet you Cate… my _not so mysterious_ neighbour." Gemma quipped and gave Cate a once-over which made her feel a little uncomfortable. She didn't like having people try to suss her out. She'd once dated a studying psychologist and it only ended badly due to all the casual analysing of her psyche. "I'll see you around, Doc." She finished with a nod of her head, pushing her sunglasses back down to rest on her nose. And with that, she was gone. Cate watched as the woman she now knew as Gemma sauntered away from her house and got into a pretty nice car of her own. She closed the door with her foot as her hands were busy supporting her box. It was her new coffee maker for the kitchen, she was a coffee fiend but she knew it was no good for her anxiety, however it never stopped her. Cate popped the box down onto the counter and leant back against the opposite worktop, bringing her hand to her mouth to chew on her nail as she thought back at her encounter with Gemma.

"Wait a minute.." she spoke out loud to nobody but herself, crossing her arms beneath her bust. "How did _she_ know I was a Doctor?" With a loud groan of frustration she spun on her heel and returned to her bathroom, wondering if there was more to this _Gemma_ than what met the eye.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey everyone! Thank you so much to those who have already followed, favourited and left reviews! Honestly, its so reassuring and lovely to hear that you're enjoying this already. It's a bit of a slow burner, and I will involve aspects from the series but for now i'm focusing on getting Hecate's character across and established :)

Our Juicey-Boy will appear in the next chapter ;) Please review! x

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CHAPTER 3

It was about 7pm when Cate's front door next opened. After waking up she'd spent the rest of her afternoon tidying the house, as there were still a few more moving boxes that hadn't been touched. She'd been too busy with work and admittedly she felt that unpacking the boxes made the whole thing feel just a little bit more real. She hadn't wanted to move there, but it was the best option for her at that time. Now she'd changed into some ¾ length tight yoga pants and a cropped sports top, she had decided to go for a run, now that the afternoon sun wasn't high in the sky, burning with an intense heat. Exercise was important to Cate and it also provided a distraction from the quiet of her house and the volume of the thoughts in her mind.

Cate closed the door and stopped on her porch, pulling her long black hair back into a high ponytail which almost sat at the top of her head. She popped in her headphones of her MP3 player and tucked the device into the strap on her arm. It was peaceful in her neighbourhood, aside from the occasional rumble of a motorbike, and she couldn't fault the look of the houses. But she still wasn't happy; she knew she wouldn't be when she moved there, so she wasn't surprised. Cate continued down her steps and walked down her path towards the sidewalk, and whilst doing so she couldn't help but glance over at the house to her left. Gemma's house. How could she tell? Because her car was there, parked on the driveway. She wondered what affiliation she had with those men on their bikes, especially since there was one out there on that drive beside her car most nights. Whilst her mind wondered, she stretched her legs, pulling each foot up behind her backside to prepare herself for the run. On her right knee she'd wrapped a support brace around it – not wanting to aggravate the injury any more than necessary. She couldn't _not_ run. It was the one thing that freed her mind and pushed her to her limits.

Once stretched, Cate pressed play on her MP3 player and took off down the street. KISS played through her headphones and she couldn't help but smirk at herself and her taste in music, she was a total sucker for 80's rock. ' _Feel my heart takin' you higher, burn with me, Heaven's on fire.'_ The chorus hit as Cate turned a corner, picking up speed as she met a straight stretch of road. She kept her pace and controlled her breathing as she continued; only focused on the sight ahead of her.

Time passed and she found herself in the centre of Charming, it wasn't particularly busy but then again it never really was, so she didn't have to worry about looking out for people to dodge as she ran down the pavement. To her side, she heard some locals shouting about something and she glanced over for only a _second_ but a second was all it took for her to go barrelling into a body. Cate tripped but stopped herself from falling, supporting herself by instinctively reaching out to the shoulders of whoever she had ran into.  
"Oh I'm so sorry!" she squeaked, pulling out her earphones and finally looking up at who she had bumped into.

"It's okay, Doc." Chief Wayne Unser replied with a laugh, steadying her with a hand on her shoulder. "No harm done, I'm still standing." He added with a kind smile. Cate was relieved to see who it was, knowing now that she wouldn't have to grovel and offer anymore apologies. She'd noticed that some of the residents of Charming were.. well.. not _so_ Charming.

"Wayne." She greeted him in a breathy voice, a genuine small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "I'm sorry about that, I wasn't paying attention." She continued sheepishly, gesturing with a nod towards the couple that were loudly arguing across the street. Unser passed a glance to where she'd nodded before laughing, shaking his head at the same time. Cate hadn't even realised she'd ran as far as the Police Station, but she had a habit of that, just focusing on her music, breathing and her steady footfall on the ground beneath her.

"Yeah, as I said, it's no problem. How've you been, Cate?" The Chief of Charming Police asked of her. Cate just shrugged her shoulders.

"You know, same old. Working, running, sleeping.. _working_." She chuckled quietly at how lackluster her life sounded but what was the use in lying? This was her routine, what else was there for her to do? Wayne gave her a sympathetic smile, lowering his head a little to look directly at her face, almost as if her were examining her.

"And the nightmares?" He asked quietly and she felt herself tense the second he asked. Admittedly, she'd forgotten all about her reoccurring sleepless nights, until now of course. The reality of it came crashing back and she sighed, shaking her head as she glanced down at the sidewalk, kicking a piece of screwed up paper aside.

"Still there.. But I'm managing." She admitted, looking back up at his concerned features with a small smile. "I'll be fine.. I _am_ fine." Cate reassured the older gentleman, trying to sound confident in her words. Who was she trying to fool… The concerned man in front of her? Or herself?

"Ok sweetheart, but if you need to talk about it, you know where to find me. I've been through similar shit myself, remember?" he reminded her, but she already knew that. It was the only reason why he knew about her situation, because she'd gone to him with her problems before. "Your uncle Stephen wouldn't want you suffering in silence." He added and for the second time in that brief conversation, Cate felt herself tense.

"I know, Wayne." She knew she must have sounded a little moodier at that point, because Unser cleared his throat and gave a nod of his head.

"I'll see you around, Doc. And try not to run into anybody else!" he joked before crossing the street, continuing the path he had been on before she had knocked into him.

Cate sighed and brought her lower lip between her teeth, biting on it gently. Wayne was one of the only people that _really_ knew her. Everybody else were just work colleagues or acquaintances. He'd served in Vietnam with her uncle Stephen, who had sadly passed away just a few months ago. She'd been close to him, hell; she'd been inspired to join the army _because_ of him. Cate cleared her throat, popped her headphones back in and took off on her run, leaving the Police Department behind her.

It wasn't long after that Cate reached Sandy Creek Road, the street she now resided on. Instead of running she was now walking and looked a little uncomfortable. Her knee was hurting and she knew it was because she'd been reluctant to take any pain killers lately. Maybe she wanted to feel the pain, be reminded of what had happened, so she knew that it was real, so she could _feel_ something. Or, she just didn't like taking the stronger stuff, which was mostly the reason why. She didn't like having to rely on prescribed medications to make her feel better. People suffered with pain all the time, so why couldn't she? As Cate neared her property, she noticed that the lights in her neighbours house were on and the front door was open. There were a couple of Harley's on the drive and Cate's interest suddenly piqued. She wondered if this _Gemma_ had anything to do with that biker and his big friendly grin, which she'd seen at the traffic lights just last night. They'd all worn the same leather vests, so they were all associated, but she'd not seen anybody of that description in her neighbourhood. All she ever saw was the empty bike parked outside. And it was as if God had heard her thoughts, as seconds later two men left Gemma's house, both wearing the _exact_ same leather vests she'd seen that man wearing last night. One of the men was young with blonde hair, the other a lot older with grey hair and a large square chin. They were laughing at something, talking to each other as they stopped by their bikes on the drive.

Cate walked a little slower towards her front yard, pulling out her MP3 player to make herself look busy, but kept glancing towards the scene. She didn't like to be nosey, but she was curious. Gemma appeared in her doorway, smiling at the men on her drive as they mounted their bikes. Seconds later the familiar sound of the engines reverberated around the neighbourhood and just like that, they were going. At this point, Cate had looked away entirely and her gaze followed the bikes as they took off down the street, turning at the end of the road until they were out of sight. Cate pursed her lips and turned off her MP3 player, tugging the earphones out of her ears in the process. She turned her head back, to find Gemma was leaning against her doorframe with her arms crossed, watching Cate with a grin.

Cate smiled awkwardly and gave a single wave, to which Gemma simply nodded before retreating back into her house, closing the door behind her. Cate groaned and walked up the path towards her own house. She unlocked her front door and entered her home, locking it securely behind her. She untied her hair, tossed her MP3 player onto the couch and made for her bathroom where she would shower and prepare herself for what she assumed would be _another_ sleepless night.


	4. Chapter 4

It wont always be 2 chapters in one day, but I couldn't resist getting this one out there! Please review & as always, thanks for the support thus far x

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CHAPTER 4

A few days had passed since her last encounter with Gemma and the local motorbike men. Cate hadn't seen much of her own house over the last few days, let alone anybody else's homes. She'd been at the Hospital working, and then asked if she could be on call the next 24 hours, which she'd agreed to and just snoozed in the staff room between emergencies. It had been a little bit busier at the hospital which she was thankful for, but she was also thankful to finally be going home. She'd just finished her day shift and it had been a stressful one. A man had been brought in after a piece of machinery at his place of work had exploded, leaving him with awful shrapnel injuries to his body, especially his face. When Cate had seen this, she'd frozen for a brief moment, although to her it had felt like an eternity. A ringing started in her ears and all background noise dimmed apart from the constant ringing. She was going to have a panic attack. Fortunately, her shoulder had been shook by Lisa and her name had been called which suddenly broke through the ringing and brought Cate back to reality. She'd been so embarrassed about it and after treating the male and sending him for surgery; she'd locked herself in a toilet cubicle for a temporary escape to calm herself down.

Cate slammed her hands down onto her steering wheel. "Fuck!" she exclaimed into the silence of her stationary car, rage had appeared within her from out of nowhere as she thought back on her almost panic attack this afternoon. She hated it, she hated the lingering anxiety and the surprise panic attacks that snuck up on her when she least expected it. It made her feel weak, she felt as if everyone around her knew what was going on and pitied her for it, or judged whether she was able to competently do her job with the ongoing issues. It was done, it had happened. And thankfully she didn't think anybody had noticed it, aside from Lisa. "What a mess." She whispered to herself before reaching down for her keys which were sat in the ignition, and she turned on the engine which came to life with a roar; however she didn't fail to notice an unusual sputter sound beneath it which soon stopped as quickly as it had begun. Cate narrowed her eyes and listened for a little longer but the sound didn't continue, so she sat back and left the car park.

It was late now and it was raining, her windscreen wipers working to rid the glass of the incessant downfall of rain. Unlike most others, she liked the rain.. Sure, driving in it could be a pain in the ass, but she liked it. It was that smell that lingered after a heavy downpour of rain, or even standing out in it, allowing you to be soaked and cleansed by the opening heavens. Perhaps it was because she'd spent so long in areas of the world where rain was a rare occurrence and it was all you prayed for when the sun licked at your skin. This rain certainly showed no signs of letting up, but she sat back and enjoyed the drive. However, the enjoyment was short winded, as that sputter sound from before returned with a vengeance. Cate sat upright, her brow furrowed as she looked out of her windscreen at the bonnet. The sputtering got worse, and she could hear that her poor car was beginning to struggle and lose its power. She pulled towards the sidewalk and almost as if she knew what was going to happen, the engine cut out completely. Cate's face was one of complete and utter annoyance. She was tired and all she wanted to do was get home to bed. She twisted the key and pulled it out of the ignition, trying to perhaps prevent any more damage by leaving the engine 'on' despite the fact it had now stopped running.

She wasn't massively far from home, and knew that she could quite easily walk or run it. But she didn't want to leave her car in this unknown area of town. It was then that she remembered a piece of paper she had stashed away in her glove compartment which she immediately reached for. Once she had it, she pushed the glove box shut and sat back in her seat, looking down at the crumpled piece of paper in her hand. Wayne had given her a list of essential numbers when she first moved to town in case she needed anything. Obviously, it included his own number, along with several others such as the local doctor's surgery and the one she was looking for, Teller-Morrow Automotive Repair. She remembered him explaining it to her, that it was the town's local garage and that they had a pick-up truck for breakdowns should she ever need one. She'd been confident that she wouldn't, as her car (which she'd acquired from her late uncle) had been gold and hadn't caused her any troubles.. Until now. Cate grabbed her phone from her back and dialled in the number, bringing it up to her ear. It rang a few times, to the point where she didn't think anybody would answer, which would be just her luck.

"Teller-Morrow Automotive" A gruff voice responded, a little breathless as if they'd had to run for the phone before they missed it.

"Hey, I've broken down on.." she dragged the N and paused as she looked out of the window for a street sign "..Woodland Drive, car won't start at all. Any chance of a pick up?" she asked, leaning back in her seat and propping her elbow up on the door as she held the phone to her ear. The windows were starting to fog up at this point and she watched as a drip of condensation ran down the glass.

"Ok hang on one sec.." she heard the phone clatter as if it had been put down on a desk and she rolled her eyes a little, sighing gently.

"Hey, Juice!" she heard the voice call in the distance. "You think you can take the truck down to Woodland Drive? Got some chick, needs a hand." Her brow raised and she couldn't help but let out a quick laugh. Some chick, huh? Pleasant. She didn't hear much else apart from background noise until the phone got picked up again.

"We'll have someone there in thirty." He answered.

"Thanks a lot, bye." Cate bid her farewell and hung up the call, chucking her phone back into her bag. Now, all she had to do was wait.

Cate must have dozed off, for a tapping on the window next to her head made her shot up in her seat with a quick gasp. Suddenly, she remembered where she was and what she was waiting for. There was a figure at her window, waving in at her, but in the darkness and through the condensation on her window she couldn't make out who it was. Cate cleared her throat and reached for the window, rolling the handle so that it opened up. She noticed it wasn't raining anymore when nothing came in through the window.  
"I'm assuming you're the pick up?" she asked, lowering her head slightly to get a better look out of the window. Whoever it was leant down at the side of her car so that their face was now visible and she instantly tensed, her stomach leaping. He looked almost as surprised as she did and for a moment she wondered if they were pulling the exact same faces. There was a moment of silence before he gave her a kind smile. It was _him._ The mystery biker.

"That'll be me." he answered, nodding his head as if his words weren't enough and she needed the extra confirmation.

"Hi.. I mean, _thanks_." She stammered and sat upright in her seat, suddenly feeling very awkward. But why? She'd never met this man before, there was no reason to be awkward, but she couldn't shake the feeling. "Let me just.." she gestured at the window and he got her message, removing his hands as to allow her to do the window back up. Once it was closed, it was as if she had suddenly created a protective barrier. Cate turned to her passenger seat and collected her backpack. "Shit.." she cursed under her breath. "Shit, shit, _shit_." She added, wanting nothing more than to give herself a once over in the mirror, but she didn't, she _couldn't_. Without anymore delay, she opened the car door and swivelled to get out.

"Can you pop the hood?" he asked quickly, almost as if he had forgotten to ask her before and had just remembered. Cate didn't look at him yet, and nodded her head. She stretched over to the passenger foot well, pretty ungracefully too, and pulled the lever. Her scrub top had lifted a little, she knew that from the cold breeze that swept across her waist, but she quickly sat up and tugged it down, giving him a sideways glance. He'd been looking, she noticed before he had the chance to quickly look away. He pointed at the hood, opened his mouth to say something but just nodded his head and then walked towards it, out of her sight. She pulled an annoyed face at herself, to nobody in particular, before climbing out of the car, leaving the door ajar in case she needed to try the engine.

Cate pulled one strap of her backpack over her left shoulder and then crossed her arms, watching him from her position, but all she could really see was his right arm as it reached into the engine and its compartments. Muscles rippled beneath his slightly tanned skin, which were adorned with black and grey tattoos.

"So, what happened?" his voice broke her out of her silent observations and she shrugged her shoulders, even though he couldn't see her.

"I don't know. It sputtered when I left the hospital but it stopped so I assumed it was ok. And then it just sputtered really badly and just.. died." She explained.

"It's a nice ride, but it's old as _hell_." He laughed and she watched as he straightened and peered around the propped up bonnet at her. "I can't fix it here." He told her, wiping his oily hands over his dark jeans. Cate nodded slowly, she hadn't expected anything more. With the sound it had made, she knew it would be a garage job, and probably a pricey one at that.

"It's fine, I expected that." She told him with a wave of her hand before bringing it back to cross around her other arm. He smiled that wide smile and closed the hood of her car before walking to the side nearest her to shut the driver side door.

"Where do you live? I'll drop you home on the way back to the shop." He told her confidently, still smiling.

Cate suddenly panicked and she shook her head, returning his smile although she felt hers was slightly more forced than his was. "Oh no, it's fine.. I don't live far, I can walk." She assured him.

"Are you kiddin' me?" he seemed shocked at her request, shaking his head, but that smile still remained. Did he ever stop smiling? "I'm not gonna let you _walk_ home. Get in." he gestured with his thumb towards the pickup truck. "I'll just get your car hooked up, won't be long." He added before she could even muster a response or refuse his offer. Cate sighed and watched as he began to hook various parts to her car. She turned on her heel and made her way to the passenger side of the truck, pulling open the door with an audible creak, and climbed up into it.

She wasn't waiting long before she heard the other door open. She looked over and watched as he got in. She noticed the lightning bolt tattoos on his head either side of his Mohawk, as he dipped his head to reach into a compartment where he retrieved a clipboard. She was staring at his tattooed arms again, only this time she noticed what looked like a grim reaper on his arm.

"Hey" He clicked his fingers in front of her and her gaze shot back to his face.

"Huh?" she quickly asked and was a little bewildered and confused as to what had just happened. Had she zoned out? Was he asking her something?

"I asked if you could fill this out.. if that's okay." He passed her the clipboard and a pen. His kind smile had now turned into a grin. Clearly he'd noticed her staring and it had gone to his head. _Men_. She took the clipboard and rested it on her lap, pen in hand. It was then he turned on the engine to the truck. "So, where we headin'?" he asked, and she'd already began filling out the paperwork.

"Sandy Creek Road." she answered, briefly looking over at him and she watched as both of his eyebrows raised. He knew the street. So maybe Gemma _did_ have something to do with all of these bikers.

"Okie dokie" he muttered and pulled away from the sidewalk, beginning their journey. Had he actually just said _okie dokie_? She smiled at the thought as she looked back down at the paperwork, biting her bottom lip to stop herself from laughing.

Minutes of silence ensued, and she noticed that he was tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. Was he nervous? It was then she noticed that she was doing the same thing, only she was tapping a pen against the clipboard.  
"I wasn't staring before; I was just looking at your tattoos." She broke the silence, looking out of the windscreen at the road ahead of them. "They're pretty cool, but the grim reaper is a little on the morbid side.." she spoke, in a little bit of a teasing manner. She cast a glance in his direction to see him smiling, followed by a little laugh.

"Yeah.. I suppose it is." He agreed with a firm nod if his head. If only she knew that there was more to the tattoo than what met the eye. It was quiet again, but not for much longer. "So you're a nurse?"

Cate laughed and leant back against the seat, deciding to get comfortable for the short remainder of their drive. "Actually, I'm a _doctor_ , but potato, potata. We all do the same thing." She answered with a shrug of her shoulders, her hands fiddling with the edge of her scrub top.

"What's your speciality?" he asked. He was inquisitive, that much was for sure. But he wasn't being nosey; he was just passing the time. She didn't mind it, he seemed nice enough.

"Trauma. I work in the emergency department, but I've got an extensive history in trauma." She replied. It felt nice to talk about herself, to have someone seem interested in her life rather than listening to rumours and judging her based on that. People at work had heard about her army life, and didn't bother to get to know her based on that, for they felt like it was enough information to know about her, like they knew her already.

"Don't we all.." he commented and she laughed out loud before quietening down. He was right, most people had traumatic histories. Apart from all those lucky human beings who'd had an easy life compared to her.

"What about you? What do you do?" she turned the spotlight on to him now.

"Me? Mechanic by day, motorcycle enthusiast by night." He joked through his grin. She knew the second bit alright; she'd obviously seen him on his motorbike just a few days before.

"Yeah, I saw you a few days ago. Cool bike." She noted and immediately felt awkward. Did he remember seeing her? Staring at him like a deer in headlights. She felt like kicking herself, since when did she become a teenage girl again? She knew how to talk to men; she was 28 years old and quite capable of holding a conversation. So why, now, did she feel like such a _girl_. Fortunately, she noticed he'd turned onto her street and before she'd let him respond to her comment, she sat upright in her seat, pointing at her house. "That's me." He pulled over to the sidewalk and put the truck into neutral. "Thanks for the lift.. And here's the paperwork." She told him, handing over the clipboard before gathering her back and jacket from the ground, suddenly in a rush to leave.

"Oh, you're welcome…" he paused to look at her documentation. She'd realised that he hadn't once asked for her name, she'd been waiting for him to ask. "Hecate?" he asked, eyes lifting from her paperwork to her face, his brow arched but a smile appeared on his lips. "Like that witchy goddess?" he questioned and she gave a dramatic roll of her eyes. This was exactly why few people knew her real name; they'd make a joke about her being named after the goddess.

"You can call me Cate." She smiled and opened the door, jumping out onto the ground which she immediately came to regret as the impact sent a small twinge through her knee. She hid it though, and walked around the car to step up onto the sidewalk outside of her house. She didn't even give him a look, just wanting to get inside and scream into a pillow at how stupid she felt. She heard a window rolling down behind her.

"My name's Juice!" she stopped in her tracks and turned slightly to look over at him, practically hanging out of the window of his truck, that goofy grin which had first drawn her in, currently present on his attractive face. She laughed then. He had a name just as strange as hers was and if anything it made her feel a little better.

"Goodnight, _Juice._ " She called back and finished her walk to her front door, heading in and closing it behind her. Leaving Juice in his tow truck, staring after her. Cate leant her back against the front door and smiled. What a relatively nice end to a very shitty day. all


	5. Chapter 5

I can't stop writing! I have so many chapters prepared, so here's the next installment for you guys! Thank you for all the favourites, follows and thank you for the reviews so far. Let me know if you're liking this! Jade x

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CHAPTER 5

" _Why didn't you save us, Hecate?"_

" _You let us die"_

" _I had 2 little girls and a wife back home"_

 _Voices echoed from all around, unnamed faces surrounding her. Cate was stood in a vast open desert space, bodies littered all around her. There was a reddish hue to her surroundings, an eerie chill sent goosebumps up her arms. "I wish I could have saved you" she whispered, her voice echoed and sounded as if she were under water – muffled and distorted. Ash fell around her like snow, leaving dirty marks on her skin and piles on the ground, slowly covering the bloody bodies._

" _We're dead because you couldn't save us" another voice whispered from behind her, she turned around and was swiftly grabbed by the throat by a rotting corpse which was stood in front of her, dressed in ripped and burnt army uniform._

Cate eye's shot open as her body gasped for breath. The nightmares were getting worse with each night that passed. She rolled onto her back and lifted her hands to her head, running her fingers through her hair which she then gripped and pulled, letting out a frustrated scream. All she wanted was peace, to not be haunted by her guilt and the ghosts of her past. She drew in a deep breath and lowered her hands down to rest on her abdomen, her fingers drumming against her taut and toned stomach. Sunlight was creeping into her room through her blinds and she rolled her head to the side to look at her digital alarm clock on her bedside cabinet. 07:23. She let out a breath and rolled her head back on her pillow to look up at the ceiling. Would these nightmares be with her forever? She certainly hoped they wouldn't. Her psychiatrist had told her that in time they would go away, but it wouldn't be an easy ride. "Shit." She cursed quietly when she realised what day it was. Friday. Friday's were when she had her weekly appointment with said psychiatrist and she never looked forward to them. Thankfully, she was not scheduled to be back at work until Monday, so she'd have a weekend to clear her head before returning to work.

The black haired doctor pushed herself up and moved to the edge of her bed, sitting on the end of it with her feet on her carpet. She intertwined her fingers together, resting her elbows on her knees, and looked down at her forearms. As with her face, there were a scattering of small white lines of all shapes and sizes – so tiny that she could hardly even see them anymore, but she knew what they were and that they'd be there forever. She unlaced her fingers and ran the fingertips of her left hand gently over a scar that was a bit more noticeable on her right forearm. A jagged pink scar than ran parallel to her arm, about 4 inches long. It had been a moment of weakness a long time ago, where she'd taken her blade to her arm and cut. Fortunately, she had survived, and now knew how stupid she was for trying to take the coward's way out. She'd been taught better than that and lived with the guilt every day. Snapping out of her thoughts, she rose to her feet and walked over to her wardrobe, pulling out her outfit for the day. After some deliberation she settled on a pair of black jeans which she pulled up to her hips after some fresh underwear, fastening the button and pulling up the zip. They'd ripped at the knees as she'd owned them for so long, but she didn't care much. She followed suit with a clean black bra and a dark grey boyfriend fit t-shirt which hung off her shoulder. Cate sat on the little seat at her vanity table and pulled on her favourite pair of chuck taylor's, she'd worn them so much that they were scuffed, filthy and almost ready for the bin.

Cate finished getting ready by dragging a hairbrush through her hair which had been freshly washed last night and it now hung in loose shiny waves over her shoulders. She took a moment to look at herself in the mirror, her lightly freckled face catching the light from the window, a shine evident on her cheeks and her nose. She didn't often wear much makeup, as most of the time she was either at home or at work, where makeup really wasn't necessary. But today, she opted for a light coat of mascara, and a bit of lip gloss, giving her plump lips a shine. She took one last look at herself before turning on her heel and leaving her bedroom all together.

Making use of her new coffee machine, she made herself a latte, added 2 sugars and took her mug to her back yard where she sat on a bench on her porch. It was a nice day, the sun was still rising in the morning sky and it was still cool from the night before. The grass had a shine due to the wetness left behind from the downpour last night, and that was when she remembered her encounter with _Juice_. She found herself smiling at herself, drumming her fingertips against the porcelain of her coffee cup. He was an unusual one, that was for sure. He seemed light-hearted and fun, qualities that she had used to possess herself until her life took a trip to hell and back. She didn't know what it was about his damn smile that made it so contagious, but whenever she pictured it in her mind, she found herself smiling too. She'd seen the man twice, _well_ officially she'd only met him one, but his face had imprinted in her mind and she remembered the smile well. Not many people had a smile like that, genuine and full of joy.

Cate finished her coffee in silence, staring out at her overgrown garden with a frown. She really needed to do something about that.. she refused to be _that_ neighbour who didn't take care of their property and ruined it for everyone else on the block. She used to enjoy gardening with her grandma many years ago, but after she passed away, she found her joy for gardening dwindled away. Once her latte was gone, she went back indoors, washing up the cup in the sink which she then set down on the drainer to dry. A quick glance at the clock revealed that it was 08:35 and she didn't have much time left to get to her appointment, especially now that she'd have to walk since her car was in the garage. She wondered for a moment if Juice would be fixing her car. But she quickly scolded herself for getting distracted and left the house, grabbing her handbag, keys and phone on the way out.

"So back to the nightmares, they've been getting worse?" The psychiatrist asked from his seat, his legs crossed and a set of notes sat on his lap. He always sat like that, she noticed, she'd never seen him sit any other way.

"Not _worse_ , they're just happening more regularly than before." She corrected, dragging her gaze away from him to look out of the window of his office, briefly watching as pedestrians walked past.

"I imagine that's because it's coming up to the one year anniversary of the event." She heard him say and she looked back towards him, slowly nodding her head. He was right, in a few weeks it would be the one year anniversary – if you could call it an _anniversary_ – of the incident. She cleared her throat gently, sitting more upright in her seat as that familiar feeling of tension pulled at her shoulders.

"I guess you're right." She answered, cracking each of her knuckles individually as she watched him. She noticed he looked down at her hands and she followed his gaze before she stopped what she was doing; she hadn't even noticed she'd been doing it.

"And your anxiety? How has that been?" he asked next. She quickly glanced at the clock, hoping he wouldn't notice. She didn't have much longer leave and she felt relieved by that. "Look, Cate…" his voice captured her attention and she looked back towards him. "I know you don't like these sessions and bringing all that stuff back up to the surface, but they're important." She often got this mini lecture from him, he really did want to help her, but she felt the sessions were useless. Her issues were hers and hers alone, it seemed like nobody could help her. "PTSD is a serious condition, Cate. We can't just brush it under the carpet. You can't go through it alone." He sat forward in his seat now, clasping his hands in front of him as he watched her. He was passionate about his job, she'd figured that out just after one session with him.

"I know.. And I want it to stop but I feel like it's never going to go away." She told him outright and he gave her a sympathetic smile. She hated that though, she didn't want sympathy, she didn't want people to pity her and treat her any differently. "Please don't give me that look, Ross." She pleaded quietly.

"Ok" he answered quietly with a nod of his head, the look of sympathy leaving his features as he pressed his lips together. She watched as he looked at the clock and sighed, popping her notes down on the table beside him before rising to his feet. "Looks like our time is up." He informed her, but she already obviously knew that, she'd been watching the clock the whole time, and she knew he'd noticed that.

"Thank you." she replied, pushing herself up from the chair and grabbing her bag from the ground beside it. She pulled it over her shoulder and turned to face him briefly. "I mean it, Ross. I know I'm difficult but I appreciate your help." It was a _little_ bit of a lie, but she didn't want to leave him feeling disheartened by her attitude. He simply smiled and patted her on the shoulder before heading over to the door, opening it for her.

"I'll see you next week, Cate." She noticed the uncertainty in his voice and she knew why. She knew he was never certain that she would show up every week. But so far she hadn't let him down. She gave him a quick nod before promptly leaving the office and the building all together. Once she was outside she drew in a deep breath and exhaled, pleased that her session was finally over. It often put her in a bad mood afterwards; fortunately she didn't have to worry about taking it out on anybody as she didn't really have anybody.

Cate pulled her phone out from her pocket and took it off silent, glancing down at the time whilst she had it. It was 10:10. It was still quite early and she didn't really want to head home just yet, she needed a distraction after that session. So she opted on doing some grocery shopping, her cupboards were starting to look a little bare. Cate tucked her phone into the front pocket of her jeans before setting off, making her way towards the local supermarket. Once there, she grabbed a small trolley and began with the task at hand, walking up and down each aisle in the order that they came, even if there were sections she didn't need anything in, it was her own little system. Ross had told her that she'd likely developed some OCD as a result of her PTSD. _'These little quirks as you call them.. Aren't really quirks. I think you've developed OCD. It's actually not uncommon; many people who suffer with PTSD develop OCD.'_ She remembered it clearly, she'd denied it at first but as time passed she knew he was right. It wasn't _severe_ , as the PTSD was far worse, but it was certainly there.

Cate had made it to the frozen section, where she picked out items such as frozen vegetables and chicken. She was chewing on her fingernail whilst looking at the selection of ice creams when she heard a woman clear her throat behind her.

"Fancy seeing you here." It was Gemma's voice. And turning around to face her only confirmed that it _was_ her. Cate gave her a small smile.

"Fancy that" Cate quipped, watching as the older woman reached into the freezer drawer beside her and withdrew some ice cream of her own. Cate took this time to quickly observe the woman. She was pretty, middle aged and dressed nicely – she knew how to make herself look good, that was for sure. She also noticed the tattoo on her chest, all she could make out from this angle was the wing of a bird. But what type? She then saw the scar which travelled down the middle of her chest, disappearing between her breasts.

"Don't you know it's _rude_ to stare, Doc." Gemma teased her as she popped the tub of ice cream into her trolley, a grin on her lips. Cate gave a quick laugh and reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear, lifting her gaze to meet Gemma's.

"I'm sorry; I was just looking at your scar. Heart surgery, right?" She enquired, fully knowing that it wasn't her place to pry, but she was inquisitive by nature.

"Yeah, it's the family flaw." There was a hint of sadness to her tone that Cate picked up on, but it didn't last long. "Looks like you've got some history of your own, sweetheart." She added, pursing her lips as she shifted her weight onto her right leg. Cate was fully away that her skin was being examined at that moment in time, but she didn't care much. Her scars were there for everybody to see. From the small shrapnel scars which adorned her face and other body parts, to the jagged fresh scar on her wrist.

"Looks like it" Cate answered, only noticing that she'd started to crack her knuckles again when she heard the _POP_ one of them made. She then busied her hands by holding onto the handle of the trolley.

"Don't worry, I ain't judging, Doc." Gemma's tone was kind, which took Cate by surprise as it was the first time she'd heard her use it. Gemma nodded at her once, before leaving her side, pushing her trolley down another aisle. Cate drummed her fingers against the handlebar for a second before wrapping them back around it, leaving the frozen aisle, the ice cream she'd craved before was long forgotten.

Not long after, Cate was at the checkout, packing her items into a few of the large brown paper bags, which she then set down into the trolley once they were full. "That'll be forty-three dollars, miss." The young lady checking out her items informed her. Cate nodded with a small smile and dug into her purse, handing the cash over.

"You can pop the change into that charity tin." She informed her and then took the receipt, shoving it into her bag. Cate left the store, pushing the trolley outside to the parking lot. It was then she realised the mistake she'd made. "I'm an idiot" she grumbled to herself, remembering that she didn't have her car with her and it was likely still being worked on at the garage. "A massive, stupid idiot" she added, resting her hands on her hips and bringing in her lower lip to be chewed on.

"You alright sweetheart?" she heard Gemma ask from behind her. Cate turned her head to see her neighbour leaving the grocery store, having just checked out herself.

"I got distracted.. Bought too much and realised I've not got my car to put it in." She laughed, shaking her head in annoyance at herself. She'd have to catch a bus or get a cab back home, both of which were options she rarely took and hated doing.

"Where's that flashy car of yours then?" Gemma enquired, unlocking her own vehicle where she popped her 2 paper bags into the back seats of her car.

"At the garage. I broke down last night, had to get a tow." Cate explained, starting to dig for her phone. She'd have to call a cab, there wasn't any other choice.

"Oh, well I'm heading there now, darlin'. I'll give you a ride. Save you making two trips home if you're gonna be collectin' the car later on." Gemma offered, her usual grin evident on her pursed lips.

"Are you sure? They haven't called yet to say that it's ready." Cate checked her phone as she said this, just double checking to make sure she hadn't missed any calls or messages from the garage.

"That's because _I'm_ not there to make the call. Plus those boys are slow as shit without someone there to kick them up the ass." Gemma must have noticed the confusion upon Cate's face; she knew she must've looked it. "I work there, sweetheart. I _own_ the place, actually." The brunette concluded.

Cate smiled then and looked down at the paper bags in her cart. "Well, if you don't mind, that would be really helpful." She wanted to make sure that it was ok. Cate had always been polite, manners had been driven into her at a young age, and being in the army assisted with that too.

"Of course. Now get in before I change my mind." Gemma teased, climbing into her car. Cate quickly transferred her shopping bags into the back seat of the car along with Gemma's, before getting into the passenger seat and fastening her seatbelt. "Let's go" She heard Gemma say as she reversed out of her parking space. It was only then that a thought came to mind, bringing back that family queasy feeling in her stomach. She'd be going to the garage, where _Juice_ would be working on her car. And the thought of that smile of his, made her pull a small smile of her own.


	6. Chapter 6

I honestly couldn't resist uploading another chapter! I'm having fun with this. Thank you to otherworlder81 & momoftwins1970 for your reviews :) Enjoy!

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CHAPTER 6

The drive had been interesting to say the least. Gemma has been inquisitive as to Cate's background, similar to how Juice had been the night before. Her questions were similar but Cate got the impression that Gemma always asked a lot of questions to a lot of people. However, she was friendly enough, and they got on quite well. Or at least, she'd like to think that they got on well. Cate lacked friends in Charming, she missed having people to talk to, and so she'd been pretty lucky to have genuine encounters with 2 new people in the space of 2 days. She felt a little more comfortable with Gemma's presence now, than she had done when they'd originally met. She was an intimidating woman with a powerful aura; she knew that this woman would take no shit and always stand her ground. She'd always been perceptive and a good judge of character.

It didn't take long for them to reach the garage, and when Gemma pulled into the lot, Cate couldn't help but cast her eye on the environment, observing it before she had to get out into it. She'd been taught to always examine her surroundings in the Army, and obviously it had stuck with her in normal life. She noticed a row of motorcycles at the side of the lot, glistening in the sunlight. She wondered which one of them was Juice's.

"Here we are, home sweet home." Gemma's teasing voice broke her out of her daze and she flashed the woman a kind smile. She parked in a space which she assumed was likely allocated for her and climbed out, leaving Cate in the passenger seat. Cate looked around at the area, her gaze falling on her car within the garage, which was up on a stand. "You gonna sit in here all afternoon and sweat, sweetheart?" She heard Gemma again. She really had to stop doing that, zoning out, lost in her silent observations.

"Yeah, sorry." Cate answered quickly and grabbed her bag before getting out of the car, slamming the door shut behind her.

"Christ, what did that door ever to do you?" she heard a gruff male voice, and she looked up to see the grey-haired man from a couple of nights ago, advancing towards the pair. "Hey baby" he said to Gemma, sweeping her in for a kiss, his hands on her hips. Cate felt a little uncomfortable and diverted her attention to the garage, watching as various different men worked on a couple of cars and a motorcycle. It was noisy, noises you'd expect from a garage where repairs were constantly being done. "Who's this?" she heard the man speak again, and she looked back towards him, smiling a little.

"This is Cate, she's our new neighbour _and_ a doctor at St Thomas." Gemma informed him, giving him a little nudge with her elbow, which Cate didn't miss. Why was her profession so important that it had to be mentioned on first introductions?

"That's me, Cate the mysterious neighbour and doctor." She summed up, extending her hand towards the man. Her comment made him grin and he reached out his own hand, clasping it around hers. His hands were large and rough, the texture of his skin felt uncomfortable against hers.

"Clay, Husband of Gemma, mechanic and motorcycle enthusiast." He drawled and then shook her hand. What he said was almost exactly the same as what Juice had said to her last night. _'Mechanic by day, motorcycle enthusiast by night'_ , she remembered it well. Perhaps it was an inside joke between the men that worked together.

"It's nice to meet you" she answered and withdrew her hand, suddenly feeling as though she wanted to clean it, but she resisted her urge and simply wiped it against her jeans when she was sure that nobody was looking.

"Her car was brought in last night, baby. Thought this could be my good deed for the day." Gemma grinned at her husband, and Cate watched as she leaned in to kiss him slowly on the cheek. They were _so_ in love, the thought warmed Cate's chest before a sudden coolness took over. She'd yet to be in love, _properly_ in love. But it had already been so long, she was sure that it would never happen. Obviously she'd been with men, she'd even _thought_ that she'd loved them, but she'd never had a love like the one being displayed in front of her at that moment.

"Ok, I'll see you ladies around." Clay bid his goodbyes and left his wife with Cate.

"Right, sweetheart. Let's go see how your car is getting on." Gemma suggested, already taking off towards the garage, her heeled sandals clicking against the ground. An instant wave of the nervous nausea flooded Cate's stomach, but she followed behind her, her palms immediately feeling very sweaty. They stopped in front of the open shutters of the garage, right in front of her car which was currently being worked on, a pair of legs hanging out from under the vehicle. Cate shoved her hands into the back pockets of her jeans, not knowing what else to do with them. "Hey, Juicey-boy!" Gemma spoke loudly, kicking the foot of the man lying under her car. "Get out from under there!"

"Ow!" Cate almost laughed when she heard Juice shout from beneath her car, but she contained it, clearing her throat instead. "Alright, alright." He continued, and she stepped back as he shuffled himself out from under the car. Bit by bit, more of Juice appeared from beneath the car until he was out completely, propped up on his elbows. He stopped there when he looked up and locked his sights on her. Cate smiled and gave her awkward little one wave.

"Hey Juice." She greeted him, watching as he looked up at her, his face smeared with grease. And there it was. She watched as the smile slowly grew, pulling at the corners of his lips.

"Heca- I mean, hey Cate." He stammered over his words, brow furrowing, but the smile still remained. He remembered. He remembered that she'd asked him to call her Cate. She watched as he pushed himself up to his feet, rubbing his hands against his trousers repeatedly, similar to what she had done before after Clay has shook her hand. Someone cleared their throat, and she looked to the side to see Gemma looking at her with a smirk, her brow raised. She'd cottoned on to her staring at Juice. Clearly Gemma was as perceptive as Cate was, this would be interesting.

"We just came to see how you're getting on Juice, why don't you let the good Doc here know and _I'll_ go grab my shopping from the car." Gemma informed them of her plan to leave them alone, and before Cate could say anything, she'd squeezed her shoulder and left her. All she could hear was the sound of her heels growing quieter as she left her alone with Juice. Cate moved her gaze from where Gemma had just been stood, to look at Juice, who was now wiping a clean cloth over his face.

"Sorry, I just need to get this shit off my face." He laughed, rubbing hard at his cheeks. He was making them red from where he was rubbing so hard, and for a second she wondered why he was so bothered by it. He was a mechanic wasn't he? Grease and grime was just part of the package.

"Here.." Cate stopped him and reached into her handbag, pulling out some hand sanitizer that she carried around with her. She took the cloth from his hand and squeezed some out onto it. "Use this, just pray that you don't have any cuts on your face. It'll sting like hell." She told him, handing the cloth back to him. He stared at her then, to the point where she almost felt uncomfortable. But she looked down at her hands and busied herself by squeezing some of the gel out onto her palms, rubbing it in until it was dry, before tossing it back into her bag.

"Thanks. How do I look?" he laughed. Cate cast a quick glance over his face and nodded.

"You're officially grime free… a little blotchy from all that rubbing, but you're good." She informed him, tucking her hands back into her rear pockets. "So.. How's my car doing?" she decided to get to the point, peering over his shoulder at the open bonnet of her vehicle. Nothing looked different, but then again, she wasn't a mechanic. She didn't know what the inside of a car should look like.

"Not bad! Not _finished_ , but yeah.. Almost there." Juice answered, tapping the edge of her car with his fingers. "I mean, it'll probably be done in like, an hour? I just need to get someone else to finish off the bits that I'm not so good at" He informed her with a sheepish smile, reaching up to scratch at his tattooed head. Her eyes followed his movement, before dropping down to his face, catching his own stare.

"Well that's reassuring… An incompetent mechanic fixing my car." Cate joked, adding a roll of her eyes for effect. She saw Juice panic then, his eyebrows shooing up his forehead.

"No, no… I'm totally competent. I just.. It's because it's an old model.. I mean.." he stammered, tripping over his words and Cate couldn't stop the laugh from escaping her lips. A real laugh, a laugh that almost brought a tear to her eye from where it had tickled her so much.

"Juice, I was kidding. I get it.." she assured him, watching as he suddenly calmed down and the panic left his eyes. He lifted a hand to his chest, letting out a dramatic 'phew'.

"You're like, super evil" he commented and shook his head in disbelief.

Cate just smiled and shrugged her shoulders, leaning back on her heels as she took a moment to quickly look around at the garage. "So, if it's only gonna be an hour, I'll just go and wait outside if that's ok?" she suggested, looking back towards the mechanic. If it had been any longer than that, then she woulda just hitched a ride or got a cab back home. But she was happy to wait an hour if it meant getting home with her car. Plus.. She'd get to observe Juice some more. She watched as he smiled and nodded his head quickly.

"Yeah that's fine, I'll grab someone to finish it right now." He told her before turning on his heel, in search of his mechanic colleague who would finish the job for him. Cate looked over her shoulder and spotted the picnic benches out in the lot, so without any hesitation, she made her way towards them, popping her bag down on the bench before sitting down next to it. She'd made sure to sit facing the garage so that she could watch and also be prepared if anybody were to call her over to collect the vehicle. She scanned the area before her eyes fell on the open door of the office where she spotted Gemma, who was staring out at her with that exact same grin she'd had on her face just minutes before. It was a knowing grin, of a woman who wasn't stupid, who wanted whomever it was that she was looking at to know that she _knew_. The all wise, ever-knowing Gemma. She barely knew the woman but knew she'd be right with her assumption of her. Cate just smiled back and shook her head before crossing her arms on the table, leaning forward to rest her bust over them.

About fifteen minutes later, Cate had decided to look over in the direction of the garage, where she could now see Juice talking to an older man with wild, black curly hair. The unknown man looked over at her, grinning widely as he spoke to Juice. She could see Juice shaking his head, saying something in response, before the curly-haired man shoved him, gesturing in her direction. She saw Juice pause and straighten his posture before he turned around to face her. They caught eyes and she smiled, giving him her usual awkward wave. He smiled sheepishly in return before making his way over to where she was sat.

"So.. Tig is gonna finish up with your car, said it'll take about half hour." He explained, gesturing back towards his colleague who she noticed was now peering into the engine compartment of her vehicle. She returned her attention to Juice, who was stood in front of the bench, and smiled at him.

"Thanks Juice." Cate offered her sincerest thank you, and watched as he continued to stand there, his hands shoved deep into his front pockets. "Sooo.. You just gonna stand there all day or are you gonna sit down?" she questioned, feeling on edge with him standing there.

"Oh, yeah, sure" he stammered and lifted one leg over the bench, sat straddling the surface with one leg on either side. "So you got a ride in with Gemma, huh?" he questioned, looking over his shoulder before looking back at her, smiling.

"Yeah, I bumped into her at the store… got a bit carried away with my shopping and realised I couldn't carry it _all_ home. So Gemma offered to bring me in." Cate explained, tapping her fingers on the surface of the table.

"That's nice of her. She's not usually so nice to strangers." He laughed, eyes wrinkling in the corners, dimples appearing at his cheeks. As per, the smile was contagious and it had her smiling in return.

"Is that what I am? A _stranger_?" she mocked being shocked, her brow rising. But Juice just laughed, she'd already caught him earlier with her incompetent joke, she knew he'd learnt his lesson that time to not take her so seriously. "I met her before.. Turns out she's my neighbour, but I think you probably knew that already." She added.

"Yeah.. Well, not _already.._. I figured it out last night when you told me your address." It was sweet how he made sure that she didn't think that he'd already known this information. She knew that of course. But it was as if he were trying to reassure her.

"Small world, huh?" the question was rhetoric but Juice nodded anyway. Cate went to cross her knee over her leg but winced and immediately had to straighten her leg as she felt her kneecap protest in response to the movement. Juice looked instantly worried and he sat up straight.

"Are you ok?" He asked her quickly, concern tugging at his brow.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just need a sec." her words came out in a breath, followed by a tiny groan as she reached down, massaging the area of her knee and her calf. She felt stupid now, almost a little bit embarrassed and she felt a heat rush to her cheeks which just annoyed her even more.

"Are you sure? Can I get you something?" She knew he was just trying to be helpful, but she was stubborn.

"Juice, I told you I'm fine." She repeated through clenched teeth and curled her fingers around the bench she was sat on. She took some slow breaths and felt relief seep into her veins as the pain slowly began to subside. It had gotten worse, again it didn't help that she wasn't taking her meds and it _certainly_ didn't help that she'd been going on more runs. Cate let out a final slow breath before warily looking over at Juice across the table. His lips were pressed together and he was no longer smiling. He still looked concerned but he was quiet about it, likely due to her snapping at him before. "I'm sorry about that.. I didn't mean to snap." She apologised quietly, biting the inside of her lip, another of her nervous habits.

"It's fine.. You just worried me, one second you were fine and then next.." he explained, gesturing with his hands as she assumed he couldn't think of a way to describe her sudden onset of pain.

"It's an old injury, I've got a messed up knee. Usually it's fine but sometimes, all it takes is one wrong move and it'll flare up.. Like _that_." Cate explained, absentmindedly reaching down to rub her right knee.

"How'd it happen?" he asked quickly and then shut his eyes, groaning out loud. Clearly he realised he'd made the mistake of thinking before he spoke, asking too much of her too soon.

"That's a question I'll have to answer another day." She told him, not wanting to open those doors and reveal personal information to someone she had only just met. She was smarter than that, knew not to open up to people too soon.

"Another day, huh?" he grinned "I'll hold you to that." This made Cate laugh again, a quiet laugh which slipped out with a breath. He was confident; she noticed it slipping out between his jokes and his stammering. He was an interesting character, that much was clear.

"Let's get through the next twenty minutes first, shall we?" She laughed.

"Deal?" Juice quipped, reaching his hand out towards her. It was then she realised that she hadn't actually _touched_ him before. They hadn't shaken hands last night, it had all been a bit of a rushed mess. Cate reached out her own hand and wrapped it around his. He was the first to give her hand a squeeze, watching her intently through big brown eyes. Cate swallowed hard and gave a squeeze back as they closed the deal, lowering her gaze to briefly look at their interlocked hands. Her skin looked pale against his one which was lightly tanned. His skin was also a little rough, but she liked it. It wasn't like Clay's whose was coarse and uncomfortable. Cate realised, then, that they'd likely been holding hands for a little longer than necessary. So she broke the hold, pulling her hand back to rest in her lap. Her palm was warm and tingly, this one she didn't feel the urge to wash or wipe against her jeans.

"Deal." She answered quietly, lifting her gaze back up to him. He was still staring at her, it made her feel naked and vulnerable under his gaze.

"Wanna see my _cool bike_?" he asked, suddenly sitting up straight in his seat. He seemed excited at the idea, like a kid at Christmas. She also didn't miss his reference to her embarrassing comment last night about how she'd thought his bike was cool. Cate rolled her eyes in a teasing manner before smiling and nodding at him.

"Sure, I'd like that." She answered and within seconds he had left his seat, but he stood and waited for her. Cate stood up and she felt her knee twinge again, but after a second it faded away and she climbed out from the bench and followed him as he made his way towards the line of motorcycles.

"Here, this is _my_ bike." He told her and she could hear the pride in his tone. He was excited about showing her and it made her feel happy. It was nice to have someone show her what they liked, and for them to be so passionate about it.

"It's a very nice bike, Juice." She commented, reaching out to brush her fingers over the handlebars. "It's a _cool_ one, just as I remember it." she added with a chuckle, looking over it.

"Have you ever been on a motorcycle before?" Juice asked. Cate looked up at him and shook her head, bringing her hands back from the bike to rest on her hips.

"Nope, can't say I have. I've not known anybody with a bike before." She watched as Juice looked down at his bike, contemplating something, before looking back towards her, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Would you wanna?" Cate's brow rose and she bit down on her bottom lip, trying her hardest to mask the smile that suddenly adorned her mouth. "You know.. Go on a ride some time, with me?" he clarified and she rolled her eyes, she hadn't thought he meant anything else.

"I'd like that" she answered honestly. She imagined it would be an exhilarating experience, something Charming lacked. Not only that, but she'd get to see Juice again, which pleased her to no end. He seemed really nice and not only that, he had a good sense of humour and that lovely smile. The smile returned as soon as she said she'd like to go on a ride with him.

"JUICE!" she heard someone yell from the garage, making both Cate and Juice look over at the source of the sound. It was a large man with light brown, frizzy hair. "Get your ass over here, _Church_!" he added before disappearing into the building beside the garage.

"Alright, Bobby!" Juice shouted in return and she detected frustration in the tone of his voice. She looked back towards him with a bright smile. "The fat bastard." He muttered which had Cate laughing.

"That's a cruel thing to say" she commented, nudging his arm with her own.

"Ah it's cool, everybody says it." Juice clarified. Cate stepped back and gestured with her head towards where this Bobby had been. She could see that Juice was reluctant to leave, but both she and he knew they he'd have to.

"Go, I'll be fine out here." She told him. Juice gave a nod of his head and smiled, although it seemed a little smaller this time. "I'll see you soon for that ride, huh?" she added in an attempt to cheer him up and clearly it worked, because his smile grew.

"Damn straight!" Juice was enthusiastic, he seemed excited by the idea, and so was she. "I better go before they kick my ass, I'll see you later Cate." He said his goodbye and rushed off, presumably before he had his ass handed to him for being late. Cate was left stood there, smiling like an idiot.

"Ride, huh?" Gemma questioned from behind her, she turned around to see the woman stood by the side of her car, her lips pouted but she could see the grin hiding behind it.

"Oh give me a break" Cate groaned with a roll of her eyes before heading towards her. What an eventful day it had been thus far. Cate felt happy with the idea that she had potential friendships blossoming; it was about damn time too. Her psychiatrist was be proud. She grinned to herself at the thought.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you for those who have continued to favorite and follow this story x

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CHAPTER 7

Cate had finally received her car; she'd paid Gemma, said her goodbyes and had left to go home. She'd not seen Juice again; in fact she hadn't seen any of the other men during her final moments there. Clearly they were still busy at _church_.. On a Friday. But hey, who was she to judge? She'd not been home very long, but she'd already unpacked her groceries and had discarded the paper bags into the recycling outside. Cate had been annoyed that she'd forgotten to pick up some ice cream, due to the fact that she had been distracted by her neighbour and new acquaintance, _Gemma_. She grinned at the thought. It had been an interesting morning, and she couldn't shake the thought of her interactions with Juice from her mind at all. He was so kind to her and funny, God she felt like such a high school girl. This wasn't like her at all. She hadn't been like this in _years_. Cate sighed and held onto the kitchen counter, staring out of her window into her back yard. She needed to distract herself and keep busy; she'd go mad sat in her house doing nothing. She'd think about Juice and their interactions, or worse she'd think about her session with Ross and the memories it had brought to the surface.

Her yard was a mess, as she had noticed this morning, and so she decided that she would spend some of her time being proactive, and she would do _gardening_. Yes, she'd grown to dislike it all those years ago, but perhaps she'd enjoy it once she got to it. Cate left the kitchen and went to her bedroom, deciding to change into something a little more comfortable and something she'd not mind getting dirty. She opted for a pair of cotton shorts, which she used to wear during her training back in the day, and an old black vest top. She fetched some shears from beneath her sink and a couple of black bags, because lord knows she'd need them. She grabbed herself a bottle of water from the fridge and then ventured outside, leaving her sliding back door open to let some fresh air into her house.

Cate popped everything down onto the steps and reached up to tie her hair back, securing it in a messy bun at the top of her head, a few of the shorter strands falling down to frame her face, which she swiftly tucked behind her ears. One last thing, which she'd forgotten in her rush, was her MP3 player, which she ran back indoors to retrieve. She'd not bothered herself with one of those I-Pods; she dropped things during ones, so opted for a cheap little thing. It did the job so she had no complaints. Cate returned to her garden, popped in her earphones, pressed play and got to it.

She spent hours in the garden, pulling up weeds from the ground, trimming back overgrown plants and shrubs with her shears, tossing stray bits of rubbish into black bags. It turned out her OCD got the better of her, and once she started she found that she couldn't stop. She had wanted to, but when she'd noticed it _looked_ half done, she continued and then thought nothing more of it. She'd been out there so long, that her MP3 player had ran out of battery and she was now working in silence, a look of concentration present on her features. It looked a lot better for it though, it was finally looking like a garden to be proud of. Cate dropped the shears onto the steps and looked back at her work, lifting her hand to wipe the back of it across her wet forehead. She was sweaty and gross but that stuff didn't bother her, it was nothing compared to what she'd experienced out on the field. There was just one thing left to do, and that was to cut the grass which covered the whole centre of her garden. She groaned and ventured into her cluttered garage, wondering if her uncle had left behind a lawnmower. It had been her late uncle's house, and when he died, he had left it to her in his will. Glee filled her as she spotted a hand-held lawnmower over in the corner, but when she reached it she found that a mouse had chewed its way through the cable, leaving it completely useless. Cate gave it a small kick; she was annoyed that the garden would be left incomplete.

She climbed over the clutter and left the garage, pulling down the shutter behind her. She then turned to look out at the garden, her hands on her hips, fingers drumming against her hip bones. The more she stared at it, the more annoyed she felt herself getting. All she could see was the fact that it wasn't finished and it didn't look _right_. She brought a hand up to her mouth and gently chewed on her thumb nail as she thought over her options. She wanted to leave it, to leave it and go inside and cook her dinner and relax. But she knew she wouldn't be able to. It was already annoying her to no end, to the point where she could feel her anxiety bubbling away beneath the surface of her skin. It was then she had an idea, one of those proper lightbulb above the head moments. Cate walked to the side of her house and opened the large gate, peering across at Gemma's house. Her car was there, and she felt relief rush through her veins. Surely she'd have a lawnmower, her garden was perfect, a garden to be jealous of.

Cate practically jogged over and up the path leading to Gemma's house. It was only then that she realised this was the closest she'd ever been to this house. Casting the thought aside, Cate tapped her knuckles against the door, although not as loud as Gemma had knocked on hers that time a few days back. The door opened to reveal Gemma stood behind it and the older lady instantly grinned. Cate noticed that she looked different, her hair tied back and prescription glasses sat on the bridge of her nose.  
"Hey Gemma." Cate greeted, leaning back on her heels.

"Cate.. Miss me already?" Gemma joked, holding onto the edge of her front door as she looked over at Cate. She watched as Gemma gave her a once over. She knew she looked like a mess, she likely looked sweaty and grubby from all the gardening, and she'd got her hair caught in some branches here and here.

"Something like that.." Cate began with a forced laugh, eager to ask what she had gone there to ask. "Do you have a lawnmower?" she got it out there quickly, giving her a smile. Gemma looked confused for a moment and she pursed her lips.

"A lawnmower?" Gemma repeated. God was she stupid?!

"Yes, a lawnmower. I kinda need one.. for my lawn." Cate answered, reaching up to push some hair behind her ear that had escaped from the pile of hair atop of her head.

"Sure.. Come on through" Gemma sounded sceptical but Cate didn't care much. She wanted to finish before it got dark. Gemma stepped back, allowing Cate entry to her home and she was aware that the older woman's eyes were on her the whole time.

"You have a lovely home." Cate complimented as she had a little look around before following after Gem as she moved through the house.

"Thanks, sweetheart. It's my pride and joy." She laughed quietly, petting a parrot briefly as she passed through a dining room. An unusual choice of pet if you asked her. Cate much preferred dogs. "Isn't it a little late to be landscaping?" she asked. In all honesty, Cate hadn't even looked at the time, she was just going by light, and it was still light out although she was aware of the fact that the sun was starting to set, and it wouldn't be long before it was dark.

"I started hours ago and I just want to get it finished." She answered, following the brunette out a small doorway into a garage of their own. It was a _lot_ tidier than her one. And she assumed there were probably no mice either.

"Why don't you get a gardener to finish this weekend? Ours is fantastic." Gemma suggested but Cate shook her head.

"I'm alright, I don't mind it. It kills some time, keeps me busy." She explained, looking around the garage at the various items around it, trying to spot the lawnmower.

"Seems like you have too much time on your hands, Doc." Gemma concluded and Cate nodded, suddenly feeling a little sad. She _did_ have too much free time and most of that was because she hadn't got to know anybody around town, she didn't socialise and therefore she spent all her time working or at home. Gemma must have noticed her silence, because she offered a small yet kind smile, and turned to face her. "You're new, sweetheart. It'll take time but I'm sure you'll get there." Again, Cate nodded, not really knowing what else to say. She didn't want the sympathy, it was her own fault that she was in this position, and she knew that. "I'm having a barbeque here tomorrow evening, big get-together. Why don't you come along? I'll introduce you to some people." Gemma offered and the doctor thought about it. She pondered on the idea of it for a moment before smiling.

"You know what, that sounds great." She agreed and Gemma grinned at her, squeezing her shoulder.

"Great. The lawnmowers over there." Gemma gestured to the corner and Cate was sure her own eyes lit up when she saw the small lawnmower. Finally, she could get finished and be rid of this task at last.

"Thanks Gemma, you're a life saver." She thanked her, going over to pick up the lawnmower. It was heavy, but she was used to weights. Army training had been brutal, and even since being home, she did as much weight training in the gym as possible. Not too heavy though. She watched as Gemma opened a door besides the shutter of the garage, providing her with an easier exit.

"Try not to get distracted with the garden before you come over tomorrow, I'm sure you won't want Juice seeing you all.." Gemma just gestured with her hand at Cate, not being able to sum up a nice enough word to describe her dishevelled appearance. But that didn't bother her, what stumped her was the fact that she'd mentioned Juice would be there. Slowly, she lifted her gaze to Gemma's face and _obviously_ she was grinning, like a mother who'd sussed out who her daughters crush at school was.

"Goodnight, Gemma." She didn't want to give her the satisfaction of a garbled response or obvious lie that she didn't care if he'd be there. So she left it entirely. "And thank you again, for this." She lifted the lawnmower as a gesture before stepping out of the garage.

"Get out of here." Gemma ushered her out and closed the door behind her. Cate simply smiled and returned to her garden to finish the task at hand.

An hour or so later and she was done, she was completely _knackered_ , but she was finished and had a lovely, tidy garden to show for it. She'd packed everything away and was now lounging on her sofa, feet perched up on her coffee table, her bottle of water in hand. She'd decided to leave the lawnmower on her porch; she'd return it tomorrow since she was now due to go over there anyway. Had she made the right decision in accepting her invite? It sounded as though there would be a lot of people there, and she didn't know if she could deal with all of the inquisitive natures of nosey people. But she would, she knew she would. She _wanted_ this, _needed_ it. She needed some normality in her life and perhaps this would be the way for her to get it. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back against the back of the sofa, feeling herself grow tired, the sound of the television disappearing as she grew sleepier and sleepier.

The obnoxiously loud ringing of her cell phone woke her from her doze, she hadn't been asleep for _too_ long, as the film she'd switched on was about ¾ of the way through now. Oh yes, her phone. She reached over to the side of the sofa where she'd left her phone and picked it up, looking down at the number which flashed across her screen. She'd like to be able to not answer, but with working at the hospital, there was always the chance it could be one of the other doctors or employees from there. With a sigh she answered the phone and held it to her ear, leaning back into the sofa to get comfortable again.

"Hello?" she asked, sounding rather groggy as a result of her unplanned short nap. She was still exceptionally tired and she imagined it wouldn't be long before she'd need to get into her bed and try to sleep.

"Cate?" She perked up at the voice coming from the speaker of her phone. Was it him? How did he get her number? Why was he calling her? _Was it him?_

"Juice?" Cate questioned as a confused expression flickered across her face.

"Yeah it's me, hey, sorry for calling so late." He answered. Cate glanced up at the clock on her wall, it was a little past ten.

"No its fine, it's not late at all. Don't worry about it." she was aware that she still sounded sleepy, but she couldn't shift it. There was some silence, to the point where she thought he'd hung up, if it wasn't for the background noise giving him up. "Hello?"

"Yeah, sorry, uh, I just wanted to make sure your cars ok? Not causing anymore problems?" He finally answered, stumbling over his words. Cate smiled. Surely this wasn't a courtesy call, especially not at this hour. But she went along with it anyway, deciding not to be sceptical.

"Yeah its fine, I got home in one piece so that's something. Think I've got the _competent_ mechanic to thank for fixing my chariot." She joked, followed by a laugh. And she heard him laugh in response. She could picture him grinning, all teeth in display, and she couldn't _not_ smile herself at the thought.

"Well, I'm pleased to hear it." he chirped, pride in his voice.

"Totally satisfied customer, I'll be sure to recommend your services." Cate teased, lifting her legs up onto the sofa with her, getting comfortable.

"Did I wake you? You sound tired." There was concern in his voice and she shook her head, immediately rolling her eyes at her stupidity. He couldn't see her, why was she bloody shaking her head?

"No, not at all. I spent _hours_ working on my garden, so I'm pretty wiped out." She explained, stifling a yawn.

"Why didn't you get somebody to do it for you?" he asked and she was instantly reminded of the exact same question Gemma has asked her earlier. Did nobody mow their own lawns in this town?

"Funny you should say that, Gemma asked the exact same thing. I'm more than capable of mowing my own lawn. I'm not _incompetent_." She joked, reaching up to rub her eyelids.

"Are you and Gemma like, friends now?" he questioned

"We get along. She doesn't know me much, _nobody_ knows me much. But she's invited me to this barbeque tomorrow night, so I'm sure I'll get to know her more then, and vice versa." She informed him, sneakily getting in that she was attending tomorrow, waiting to see if he would react.

"You're going tomorrow?" he rushed, sounding excited which made her smile. But he cleared his throat as if to correct himself. "Yeah it'll be cool." He added, suddenly sounding macho; completely contrast to how he was before. All she did was roll her eyes. _Men_.

"I hope so, It's been a while since I've been to anything like that. Here's hoping I've not completely forgotten my social skills." The last part was like she'd simply spoken her concerned thoughts to herself, but she laughed quietly to make a joke of it.

"I don't think you're that bad." He told her and she felt herself warm up, or was it her cheeks? Blushing! She didn't blush. Cate raised a hand to her face and rubbed her forehead, clearing her throat. Before she could reply, she heard someone call for Juice in the background. "One sec!" he called back and she winced at the sudden volume in her ear, to the point where she briefly moved the phone back. Jesus. "I gotta go, Cate." He informed her, and she could've sworn he sounded sad, but it was hard to tell when she couldn't see his facial expressions.

"It's fine, I'll see you around." She replied.

"You will. Oh, and I'm glad your car is ok." He added in a jokey manner, since that had been his excuse to call her in the first place.

"Alright. Goodnight, Juice." She yawned, as if speaking of the night time reminded her of how tired she was.

"Night, Cate." And that was it. Cate hung up and popped her phone down onto the table. She sat there for a second before bringing her hands up to hide her smiling face from nobody in particular. She'd not had a man call her in a long time, at least not one that she _wanted_ to speak to. She dropped her hands and sighed out loud, and for the first time in a while, she went to bed feeling a little happy, but she knew that the nightmares her sleep brought would soon change that. So instead, she opted for a deep and dreamless sleep by taking one of her sleeping tables and crawling into her bed. She went to sleep with a small smile gracing her lips.


	8. Chapter 8

So this is my longest chapter so far! I couldn't find a way to split it into 2, I hope you like it :) Many thanks for all the follows, favourites and reviews (especially the most recent from Ang R). I'm unsure about if this will be AU or not at the moment, but so far this is set before the series. I may incorporate _some_ of the stuff in. I'm not sure yet! Anyway, enjoy! x

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CHAPTER 8

Cate's day had been unproductive to say the least and she'd woken up later than she would have liked due to her use of a sleeping pill. There hadn't been much to do so she'd spent her time on menial tasks around the house, deciding it was time to make it feel a little more homely. Her uncle hadn't left it in the _worst_ state imaginable, but it was severely outdated and a few of the spare rooms contained lots of clutter which had not been gone through after he passed. Cate spent hours going through it all, throwing out anything meaningless – it seemed like her Uncle Stephen was a bit of a hoarder. She came across a few special items though; picture albums, war memorabilia, and personal items. All of which she kept, but stored away neatly in boxes which she stacked against the wall of one room.

It was now a little after 5pm and she'd just returned home from the gym. She enjoyed her exercise and wanted to remain strong, so she was even more adamant on keeping at it with her injury. She didn't want to stop and have her strength wither away like a dying flower. She focused on stretches and yoga, some of them pulled at the sore muscles in her right leg which still weren't completely healed but she fought through it. Her physio had said to take it easy but that she didn't need to stop working out, if anything it was important to keep moving, or her knee would likely seize up and be more painful to move.

Cate dropped her gym back down onto the floor of her bedroom and she kicked off her trainers, pushing them against the wall with her foot. She wasn't sure what time Gemma's barbeque was set to start but living next door meant she'd be able to see people arriving and gauge it from there. The last thing Cate wanted was to be the first person to arrive. She walked over to her bedroom window and peered through the open blind, there were a couple of cars on the drive, including Gemma's own, but it wasn't too busy just yet. Cate nibbled on her lip as she looked out of the window, feeling a little nervous about the evening ahead. She moved away from the window and headed into the bathroom to shower. Once she was satisfied with her cleanliness, Cate stepped out of the shower and wrapped a dark navy towel around her, tucking it in under her arm. She stood in front of the mirror and reached forward, wiping her hand across the steamy window to clear the reflective surface. There was a little bit of colour to her skin now, flushed pink from her hot shower. She found that whenever this happened, it made her scars a little more obvious, but she hardly noticed them anymore since she had to look at them all the time. Cate brushed her teeth and dragged a wide tooth comb through her hair, detangling it of all the knots. Once satisfied, she made her way to her room to finish getting ready.

It didn't take Cate _too_ long to prepare herself for the evening. She'd blow-dried her hair into soft, bouncy curls which rested down behind her shoulders, deciding to leave it down. As for her face, she'd opted for a gentle eyeliner wing, some mascara over her long lashes and a little bit of lip balm just to bring a little moisture to her plump lips. She stared at herself in the long-length mirror on her wardrobe, stood there in just her underwear. It felt strange to see herself look so _nice_ , she'd had little motivation or reason to doll herself up in the last year. She used to wear makeup and do her hair all the time as a teenager, but then she graduated college and went into more studying, and then the army. Cate stared at this ghost of who she used to be, staring back at her in the mirror. Slowly she traced the lines of some scars on her thighs from her injury, one particularly nasty one still felt rough to touch. She was aware of the fact that she was getting dragged into that black hole of horrible memories in her mind, but she snapped herself out of it, clearing her throat and removing her hands from her legs. Cate got dressed then, pulling on a simple jersey black midi dress which clung to her body. It was warm outside and she figured that she'd try to look a little nicer if she was going to be meeting some new people, potential friends. She wondered if she was trying to look nice for a certain smiley mechanic who she knew would be there tonight, but she denied it. "I'm doing this for me" she breathed to herself, reaching up to pull her curls over her left shoulder.

A loud growl of motorbike engines pulled her from her thoughts and she walked over to her window, standing to the side, not wanting to be caught peering out of her window. A row of bikes pulled up outside of Gem's house on the street, they all parked and kicked down their kick-stands, propping the bikes up in a nice little row. Cate rubbed her toes into the fluffy carpet of her bedroom as she observed them, her fingers resting on the edge of the window sill. She recognised Clay and the younger blonde man instantly as they took off their helmets. She'd seen some of the others at the garage but wasn't aware of who they were. And then she saw Juice. He was dismounting his bike, standing facing her property as he took off his helmet. That's when she saw him glance towards her house, and Cate quickly withdrew from the window, hoping she hadn't been seen through the gaps of the blinds. Her heart was racing and she laughed at herself and her reaction to almost being caught snooping.

She slipped on some sandals and made her way downstairs and into the kitchen. She opened her fridge, bringing out a bottle of water and a bottle of white wine which she'd picked up earlier in the day, a gift for Gemma. Cate took a swig of water from her bottle and leant back to rest the base of her spine against the kitchen counter. She felt nervous. A glance at the clock told her it was now 19:25 and she figured she'd wait ten minutes or so before going over, she didn't want it to look like she'd gone over as soon as she'd heard the motorbikes. So she waited. And after the ten minutes were up, she popped her bottle back into the fridge, picked up the wine and began to make her way out of the house, picking up her house keys and her phone on her way out. She was glad she'd worn her dress, it was still rather warm out and she imagined being around lots of people _and_ a barbeque would just make it even warmer. She suddenly felt as if her dress were _too_ tight, but it was too late to change that, as she was already making her way over to her neighbours house. She looked over the front door and noticed a doorbell on the side of the frame, which she hadn't noticed yesterday in her anxiety-fuelled rush, so she pressed it and waited. She could hear loud chattering and laughter from around back, which only made her feel more nervous. She hoped that someone would hear the doorbell. Within seconds, the door opened and Gemma stood on the other side, a big grin spreading across her lips.

"Come on in, sweetheart" Gemma invited, holding the door wide enough to allow Cate access into her home. She smiled as she stepped in, taking a moment to look around the house again as she heard Gemma shut the door behind her.

"This is for you" Cate held the wine out towards Gemma who took it from her hands and rolled it between them, reading the label. Not that Cate thought it mattered.. Wine was wine.

"That's very sweet of you, doc. Come on through." Gemma lead the way and the nerves that Cate had been feeling all evening suddenly intensified as she followed Gem out into her back yard. It wasn't _too_ busy, but it was busy enough. And she only recognised a few of the faces in the crowd. The yard was nicely lit up with lights which were fixed to the fence panels, the barbeque was smoking on the patio, and people either stood in small groups chatting away, or were sat on some of the garden chairs. Her gaze then found Juice who was stood with the man she now knew as Bobby _'The fat bastard'_ and a couple of others. Juice's eyes lifted then and he looked directly at her and she noticed him smile after a brief pause. "Come on, doc. I'll introduce you to some people." She heard Gemma say and she looked away from Juice and towards the host for the evening. Cate nodded and smiled.

"Sounds good." Catereplied, following Gem's lead towards a small group of women who had been chattering amongst themselves. They looked up as Gemma approached them and she felt their eyes fall on her. However, the younger ones branched off with dirty looks on their faces. Leaving Cate with Gemma, and her unknown friend.

"Luanne, this is _Cate_ " there was some emphasis on her name, and the middle-aged blonde's eyes lit up as if she knew something. "Cate, this is Luanne." Gemma finished, standing beside them both. Luanne smiled and before Cate realised what was happening, Luanne had wrapped her arms around her in a hug. Cate hesitated but she returned it, awkwardly patting the woman on the back.

"It's nice to meet you, darlin'. Gem's told me _all_ about you." she said whilst retreating back, away from Cate. She felt her brow arch. Gemma barely knew anything about her, what could she have possibly found so interesting from the tiny list of facts, that she'd managed to tell someone _all_ about her.

"Oh she has?" Cate questioned, forcing a small smile to her lips whilst dragging her eyes over to Gemma who rolled her eyes at her.

"Only the basics, sweetheart." Gemma explained and Cate nodded her head in understanding. She'd probably just informed her friend about her new neighbour who was a doctor at St Thomas. There wasn't much else they knew about her at the moment, surely.

They engaged in some small talk then and she wasn't sure for how long. Cate learnt that Luanne had been a porn star, but now produced her own movies in her own studio. She was friendly enough, smart too. She imagined people probably judged her for her porn status, but Cate wasn't like that. In fact, she found it interesting and they'd trailed off on a conversation about that too at one point. During their conversation, Cate felt as though she was being watched, and a quick look around revealed that Juice had been looking over at her from where he was standing. They smiled briefly at each other before turning back to their conversations. At some point, Gemma had shoved a wine glass into her hand despite the fact she had denied the offer. She didn't want to be rude, so she'd given her thanks and occasionally took small sips from the glass. She wasn't much of a drinker; she found it made her symptoms a little harder to control whenever she was having a bad time. Back after the incident, she had relied heavily on alcohol to numb her senses, but she knew it was no good for her and gradually stopped. She wasn't or hadn't ever been an alcoholic, so a drink wouldn't suddenly send her into a relapse. But she knew not to have a lot and to control her intake. She knew her anxieties had been flared recently with the upcoming anniversary of the incident, so she knew better than to indulge in heavy drinking.

Luanne's phone began to ring and she looked down at it before looking back at Cate. "I'm sorry, I've gotta take this. It was lovely to meet you." she rushed off then, leaving Cate at Gemma's side.

"That wasn't so bad, was it doc?" Gemma asked in a teasing tone of voice, and Cate rolled her eyes, bringing the wine glass up to her lips where she took another sip. "Jax?" she suddenly called out, gesturing with her hand towards the blonde man she'd seen a few times. He came over then, swaggering over to Gemma at her command. Cate watched with interest. He was an attractive man, sure, but Cate wasn't _attracted_ to him. He wasn't her type and most pretty boys came with drama, lots of drama.

"Hey ma." He said as Gemma took his face between her hands and left a big kiss on his cheek. Cate bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from smiling. Gemma seemed like one of those embarrassing mums, the mum who liked to make you blush in front of all your friends.

"Jax, I want you to meet Cate.." she began, moving her hand to rest on the top of her sons back, directing him to face her. "Cate, this is my son, Jax."

"Nice to meet you, Jax." Cate smiled and offered her hand, so this was Gemma's _son_. That explained why she'd seen both him and Clay at her house not so long ago.

"You too, darlin'." He answered, reaching out to shake her hand. "So you're new to Charming? I don't think I've seen you around." he continued, returning his hand to rest in the front pocket of his jeans.

Cate shrugged her shoulder. "I've been here for a couple of months but I keep to myself, yknow?" she explained, laughing a little to lighten up her comment. Jax smiled at her. He also had a kind smile, not as kind as Juice's though. And the thought of Juice had her glancing over, to see that he was actually looking at her with a frown, his lips pushed together. Was he angry at something?

"Yeah I get that." Jax captured her attention and she looked back up at his face. She watched as he looked back at his mother. "Ma, I gotta go pick up Wendy, I'll be back soon." He gave her a kiss on the cheek before turning back to Cate. "It was nice meeting you, Cate." He said before leaving them, heading back into the house.

"You have a lovely family, Gemma." Cate told her new friend, whilst lowering herself to sit down on the brick wall. Gemma followed suit.

"Yeah, I love 'em." Gemma breathed with a smile "What about you, Doc? You got family?" Ah, she was expecting that personal questions would soon come out. After all, that was the only way to get to know a person wasn't it? And if she wanted friends, she'd have to give up _some_ information.

"Just my Dad.." she answered quietly, cupping her hands around her wine glass, tilting it and watching the contents swirl from side to side. "He's back in Colorado.. we don't talk much." She added, turning her head to look at Gemma who was watching her intently.

"He the only family you got? No brothers.. sisters?" she questioned and Cate gave her a sad smile, she didn't speak about her family very often, it was like they'd been forgotten since she had nobody to talk about them with.

"I had an older brother, Michael.." Cate began but paused, lifting her wine glass to take a bigger mouthful; she pulled a face at the bitter taste. "He served in the military and he was killed out there while I was still training." She explained quietly, staring at the wine glass again. "My mother.. She died in a car accident when I was little." Cate finished, suddenly aware of the sombre atmosphere she'd brought down around them.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry." She heard Gemma say after a moment of silence, and she just shrugged her shoulders, looking back towards the brunette with the same sad smile.

"It's ok. I'm at peace with it." Cate assured her, watching as Gemma returned her little smile. "Aren't I the life of the party?" She asked with a laugh and Gemma joined in.

"We all have our ghosts and demons" said Gemma and Cate nodded in response. "I've gotta go do something real quick" she said whilst pushing herself up from the wall to her feet. "Why don't you go grab something to eat?" she suggested, gesturing with her hand over to the table of food at the end of the garden.

"That's a good idea" Cate answered and got up, watching as Gemma departed before she made her own way down the short length of the garden. Cate grabbed a paper plate and looked over the variety of food up for grabs. She settled on some potato salad and some barbecued chicken wings. She was so hungry, that she grabbed an extra piece and began to tear at it with her teeth before she'd even left the table, back turned to all the other guests.

"Hey Cate" she heard Juice speak from behind her and she almost choked on her food.

"Um, hey Juice" she answered without turning around to face him. She'd dropped the chicken to her plate and was quickly chewing the mouthful of chicken she already had. How was that for timing? Once she'd swallowed, she turned around to face him, flashing him a smile. "Hey" she said again now that she was facing him. She watched him look at her and he suddenly smiled down at her.

"You've got a little.." he gestured at the corner of his own mouth and she suddenly felt a blush rise at her cheeks. Good going, Cate. She quickly lifted her hand and wiped her thumb over the corner of her lips where Juice had gestured. "That's better" he told her, informing her that she'd gotten rid of it.

"That wasn't at all embarrassing.." she murmured, still feeling heat in her cheeks and she was glad that it was getting darker out, as she was sure it'd be even more obvious in the day light.

"Nah it's cool, I do it all the time. Gemma's chicken is _great_." He commented, obviously trying to make her feel better and she just rolled her eyes as if she were annoyed, despite the smile on her lips saying otherwise.

"It _is_ pretty good.." she agreed, glancing down at her plate before returning her gaze to meet Juice's.

"So are you havin' fun?" he asked and Cate nodded her head, almost too enthusiastically.

"Oh yeah, it's great. I have wine, chicken, met a porn star. All in all it's been a wild evening so far." She joked and was pleased to see him laugh. He had a nice laugh, contagious in exactly the same way as his smile.

"Yeah I saw you talkin' with Luanne, she's pretty nice" he responded. Of course he probably thought she was pretty nice, she was a porn star. She wondered if he'd watched her movies, did he watch porn a lot? She felt like kicking herself when she noticed her mind was wandering into completely irrelevant thoughts. "You look good" he suddenly blurted out, and Cate felt _another_ blush coming on.

"Oh, thank you" she answered, looking down at herself and her plain black dress before looking back up at him, shrugging her shoulders a little bit.

"Not the dress" he corrected, staring down at her intently, a small smile on his lips. Cate felt like she would blush forever if he didn't stop saying things like that.

"Oh, stop it!" she hissed, reaching out to punch his arm with her fist. He recoiled and held his arm, looking down at her with faux shock.

"You hit me!" he exclaimed

"Not hard enough" she answered quickly, giving him a stern look. They were silent for a second before they both burst out into laughter. "I'm sorry" she said through a laugh, reaching forward to rub his arm where she'd hit him, before suddenly withdrawing, as if his touch had burnt her. She cleared her throat and pushed her hair back over her shoulder.

"You wanna sit?" he suggested, nodding towards the empty bench not far from where they were stood. She nodded her head and then followed him over, where she sat down with him, leaving a gap between them. "I saw you talkin' with Gem.. You looked sad." He commented, twisting in his seat to face her. Cate nodded her head whilst picking at the potato salad with her fork, popping a piece into her mouth.

"Yeah.. She asked about my family." She admitted, chewing on the potato, swallowing hard.

"Oh.." she heard him say quietly, still looking down at her food as she pushed it around the plate with her fork. She could tell that he didn't quite know what to say, he was probably wondering if he was allowed to ask any questions. So she decided to help him out.

"My brother died in action a few years ago.. My mum? She died when I was little. Car accident." She broke the silence, stating the facts. The way she saw it was he either found out now, or hear it through Gemma. She'd much rather tell him herself. Get it all out of the way now whilst she had the chance. "Now it's just me and my Dad, but we haven't spoken in years." She finished, taking one last swig of her wine, it was now empty. She reached down to pop the glass onto the floor by her feet before turning her attention towards Juice. He was staring at her, but he wasn't giving her the sympathetic look that she expected from people when she told them, the one she hated. Did he understand? Maybe he had losses of his own and knew how to deal with talking about it? She didn't know, but she liked that he wasn't donning the sad smile.

"That sucks.." he finally spoke and Cate let out a quick laugh before she could stop herself. It was probably the wine.

"It's cool, it was a _long_ time ago." She told him, giving him a small and reassuring smile. He returned it. It wasn't cool, especially not the memory of her brother, but he didn't need to know that. It was her own problem.

"Your brother was in the army?" He then asked, relaxing back in his seat, his right arm coming up to rest on the back of the bench. She was aware of how close his hand was to her shoulders but she tried to not pay attention to it. As much as she was apprehensive talking about her brother, she was glad Juice was listening and asking questions, it proved he was taking it all in.

"Yeah, he was" she explained, popping her plate down between them as she'd lost her appetite. Juice noticed this, and looked back up at her, meeting her gaze again. "He was badass" she added with a laugh, remembering how she used to look up to her big brother, he had inspired her.

"I bet.." He smiled. "I noticed you've got a flag up on your house.." he began and she could hear the inquisitive tone in his voice. She wondered how long it would be before somebody asked her that.

"My uncle served too.. He fought in 'Nam.. It's his flag" She explained before he even had the chance to _actually_ ask. She was quiet for a moment, wondering if she wanted to tell him about her history, but again, odds were that he'd find out anyway. It was a small town after all, and if she was getting to know him, she may as well tell him herself. "I served too, so I kept it up." She added quietly. It wasn't that she _wasn't_ proud of her time serving; it was just hard to bring up because of the issues that had stemmed from it. People often had questions when they found out she'd been in the Army, and with questions came memories, and memories would trigger her symptoms of PTSD.

" _You_ served?" he sounded surprised, his brows rising higher up his forehead. Cate laughed as his reaction was the one she often got when people found out.

"Yup. I was a combat medic." She answered, her fingers now tapping against her thighs. "I wasn't lying when I said I had an extensive history in trauma." She reminded him of their conversation in his tow truck when they first officially met. He grinned then, his big, friendly grin and Cate smiled.

"That's pretty cool.." Juice told her, his gaze locked upon hers.

They continued talking for a short while about nothing important. And before she knew it, people were saying their goodbyes and starting to head out. Gemma approached them then, a knowing smirk on her lips which left Cate wondering if she was _that_ easy to read.

"The boys are heading back, Juice. Clay's called for Church in an hour." Gemma informed him, resting her hands on her hips. Juice stood up then and Cate watched as he straightened out his leather vest. "Before you go, _we_ could do with your help." Gemma told him, looking down at Cate with a sly grin. What did she mean 'we'? And what did she have planned? Cate realised that this woman was cunning and mischievous, that much was for sure.

" _We do_?" Cate asked, looking from Gemma to Juice, then back to Gemma.

"Of course we do. We could do with a strong man to carry over that lawnmower you borrowed." Gemma said, patting Juice's bicep before giving it a squeeze. He looked uncomfortable for a second and then he blushed, crossing his arms over his chest. Cate realised _then_ what Gemma was doing. She was going to send them off _alone_! Cate swallowed hard but then nodded her head, not wanting to make it look like Gemma was lying.

"Oh yeah.. That would be helpful." Cate agreed, getting up to her feet. "If you don't mind?" she asked Juice, watching for his reaction. He perked up and shook his head immediately. She knew what Gemma was up to.. Cate was quite capable of doing it herself, it was only a small lawn-mower which you pushed around yourself on wheels.

"No, I don't mind at all." He answered quickly and she saw Gemma smirk before she headed away from the pair and back to the table which she was now clearing up.

"Ok then.. Come with me, I guess." Cate told him before heading off. Once her back was turned she drew in a deep breath, suddenly feeling very nervous about going off alone with him. Not that she was expecting anything to happen, but being in such close proximity to him made her nervous enough, let alone being by herself with him without the prying eyes of others.

"So this was your uncle's house then?" She heard Juice ask from behind her after she'd heard him clear his throat. Cate nodded her head as she looked up at the house they were now walking towards.

"Yeah, it was his pride and joy. He left it to me when he died." She explained, leading Juice to the gate of her garden which she had to go up onto her tip toes and reach over to unlock. She wondered if Juice was watching her as he stood behind her, staring at her as she moved. "Come on through." She held the gate open for him, which he caught so that she could continue leading the way. Cate had left her sliding door ajar and the kitchen light on, so light flooded through, illuminating her porch and the surrounding area. Cate stopped and gestured towards the lawnmower, propped up against the wooden steps, plug wrapped around the handle. "There we go." She turned to look at him, to find him staring at her in the dim lighting. He stared at her for a few more seconds in silence before her cleared his throat and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand.

"Great" he spoke as he made a stretch for the lawnmower, picking it up with both hands and she found herself watching his arms as his muscles flexed beneath his tattooed skin.

"Thanks for doing this, I probably could've done it myself to be honest." She admitted quietly, crossing her arms beneath her bust as a chill ran down her spine.

"No it's okay, really.." he rushed to answer, turning around to smile at her. "I'm glad you asked.. Well, _Gemma_ asked." He explained, his smile turning into what looked like a cheeky grin and Cate rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure the 'strong man' comment went straight to your head." she quipped, shuffling her feet on the grass.

"Oh yeah, one hundred percent." Juice agreed with a wink and Cate giggled quietly. Giggled! It was quiet then, and he stood there holding the lawnmower, looking at her.

"Well.." she began, breaking the silence. "It was nice to see you again, Juice." She admitted.

"Yeah.. You too, Cate." He agreed and then turned to head towards the gate. Cate followed him but bumped into his back as he suddenly stopped. "Oh, sorry.." he began, briefly turning around to face her again. "I just thought I'd ask if you wanna go for that ride? Not now obviously.. But maybe the day after tomorrow?" he asked and Cate nodded her head, she didn't even need to think about it.

"Sure thing Juice.. You've got my number." She informed him and his face lit up.

"Great! Ok, I better get this back and go. Have a good night, Cate." He said his goodbyes and left. For a moment, Cate watched as he walked away but she soon closed the gate and held her hands against it as she processed all of what had just happened. A smile spread across her lips.


	9. Chapter 9

I am so pleased that you're all still enjoying this! I won't be able to update until after the weekend now, so thought I'd leave you all with this :) Jade x

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CHAPTER 9

It was Monday afternoon and Cate had been at work since 7am. Sunday had come and gone, she'd not done much apart from finish up going through the rest of her uncle's belongings. She'd now completely sorted through them and had left the 4 remaining boxes in one of the spare rooms. She hadn't heard anything from Juice, but then again, she hadn't _really_ expected to. He'd told her on Saturday that he wanted to take her for that ride he'd promised her _'the day after tomorrow'_ , which was today. Still, she hadn't heard anything, but she tried to ignore it and busied herself with her doctor duties. Her day had been pretty uneventful, a few broken bones, a couple of heart attacks, but other than that it had been a steady day.

She was now on a rare afternoon break, sat in the staff room at a table with a cup of dark coffee. It was sometime after 4pm and she'd managed to get away for a quick coffee break. She'd sat at a table by the window and was currently flicking through a newspaper, idly browsing through some mundane city news. It was then she heard her phone beep, alerting her of a text. She didn't really get texts, _ever_. Cate reached into the pocket of her scrubs and retrieved her phone to see a notification from a number she hadn't yet stored on her phone – the same one that had called her the night she'd brought her car home from Teller-Morrow automotives. She smiled and went into the message, curious as to what he might say.

 _J: Wanna go for that ride tonight?_

Cate felt a small buzz of excitement beneath her tired exterior and she typed out her response.

 _C: Sure. At work until 8. Pick me up?_

She'd obviously driven in today, not sure if Juice would remember his offer, so she'd gone about her day as usual. It wouldn't be a problem though, she could ask him to drop her back off afterwards to collect her car. Easy. Cate popped her phone down on the table and turned back to the newspaper, not expecting a reply from him immediately, he was probably busy at work. But within seconds, she heard her text alert go off again. Cate smiled and picked up her phone.

 _J: Sounds good. C U then_

 _C: Can't wait_

She sent in response, being honest about her excitement, but obviously feelings like that didn't convey well over text and in all honesty she was glad. She didn't want to seem too eager. Cate popped her phone back in her pocket and finished up her coffee. She should probably get back to work and let some of the other staff have their breaks. So Cate rose to her feet, popped her mug in the dishwasher and moved over to her locker, popping her phone into it before leaving the staff room all together.

Hours passed by quickly. She'd refused to look at the clock or else she'd end up watching it all the time and the hours would drag by slowly. So she kept busy, making sure all of her patient paperwork was completed, and didn't look up at the clock once. Before she knew it, it was 19:45 and she was saying her goodbyes to her colleagues.

"Someone looks happy" Lisa commented quite sceptically, narrowing her brown eyes at the doctor. Cate smiled and rolled her eyes in response.

"I'm just glad to be going home, Lisa. Can't I be happy about that?" She replied light-heartedly, but the nurse just made a 'hmm' noise and smiled, bidding goodbye to her colleague. Cate left the ER and made for the staff room where she'd need to change and get ready to leave. She opened her locker and the first thing she did was check her phone, only to find she'd not had any other messages from Juice. But then again, the conversation had ended and they'd agreed on a time, so she didn't expect there to be any other messages. Cate popped her phone into her back and pulled it out of the locker, where she headed to the bathroom to get changed in a cubicle. She left the cubicle in a pair of black leggings and a baggy Metallica t-shirt; she inwardly cursed herself for always bringing comfortable clothing for after a shift ended. She'd not thought to pack anything nicer, not knowing if Juice was going to follow through with his idea for their ride or not. Cate looked at herself in the mirror and shrugged at her reflection, she didn't really care, she'd just finished a long day and she appreciated being comfortable. It was either that or her scrubs. She pulled her hair back into a messy ponytail before giving herself one more look over. It would do.

Cate left the hospital and took a quick look around, but so far there was no sign of Juice. She looked down at the time on her phone; it was only 20:03, so he wasn't late. Cate walked over to one of the benches by the main entrances where she popped herself down, dumping her backpack onto the ground by her feet. She sat forward, resting her elbows on her knees and waited.

Cate watched various people coming and going from the hospital, following their steps lazily, watching as they entered through the sliding doors, or departed down the steps. And then she'd look out at the road, watching as cars passed by, the occasional one pulling into the parking lot to her left. She wasn't sure how many she'd seen at this point. She looked down at her phone. 20:37. She'd grown impatient after the first 15 minutes but she'd been ok with it, sometimes people just got held up. But now she was slowly starting to get annoyed. But she'd wait.. She didn't want to leave and then have him turn up. She was holding out on the hope that he'd stick to his word, or at least call her to let her know he was running late. Cate was bad at this; she always expected the best and saw the good in people. It reminded her of her childhood days, where her Dad would tell her he'd be at her sports days but she'd look out at the crowd and he wouldn't be there. Yet she'd keep looking, expecting him to arrive. Or when she was older and he said he'd collect her from high school so she wouldn't have to walk home.. And she'd wait, and wait, and he'd never arrive. She thought she would have learnt by now, but she liked to give people a chance, after all, she'd expect the same courtesy.

21:07. Cate was done now, she wouldn't wait any longer. Cate leant back against the bench and stared up at the sky full of stars, her fingers curling so tightly around her phone that her knuckles went white from the pressure. She wished she had a cushion to scream into; instead she clenched her teeth and drew in a deep breath through her nose. She felt like an idiot and she felt embarrassed. During her wait her colleague, Lisa, had left the building and asked if she was ok. To which she'd replied she was just waiting for someone, and Lisa had given her a sad smile. Even _she_ seemed to know before Cate did, that this person wasn't showing up. Cate released a shaky breath and tossed her phone into her bag, retrieving her car keys at the same time.

Cate stomped over to her vehicle and unlocked it. She opened the door, threw her bag violently into the passenger seat and got into her own seat, slamming the door shut behind her. Cate sat there for a moment and stared at her steering wheel. It was dead silent, but after a minute she heard her own gentle sniffles. She reached up and brushed away the tears angrily. "No!" she growled to herself, frustrated that she was crying. She just hated being let down. With one last sniffle, she started the engine and left the parking lot. Cate didn't even bother to switch on her radio during the drive home; she just travelled in silence, her fingers curled tightly around the steering wheel, stray tears occasionally falling down her cheeks and chin.

She was home in no time, pulling up onto her drive where she pulled up the handbrake so hard she thought she might break it. She reached for her backpack and then pushed her car door open, climbing out onto her drive.

"Hey doc!" Gemma's voice startled her and she turned around quickly to see her neighbour down by her bins, a trash bag in hand. Great, this was the last thing she needed. Somebody to see her _crying_.

"Oh, hey Gem!" she called break, her voice breaking but she cleared her throat in an attempt to disguise it. She hoped that the distance between them gave her a bit of cover and she used it as an opportunity to lift her hand to her face, wiping her sleeve over her cheeks to dry them. Gemma watched her, she could see her staring, a concerned look on her features. No, no, don't do that. She dropped her bag into the trash and Cate watched as Gemma walked across her lawn towards her.

Cate suddenly felt awkward and she shifted her backpack up onto her shoulder and fiddled with her car keys, lowering her gaze to the ground as the woman continued to approach her. "I should probably head inside.." she began quietly, clearing her throat again. "I've gotta.." she stumbled and stopped then, bringing her bottom lip between her teeth to chew on it.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Gemma asked kindly, and Cate looked up to see the woman now stood in front of her, a concerned expression on her features, her lips pushed together. Why did she have to sound so kind? Cate gave her a sad smile but was well aware of the fact that her lip trembled slightly.

"Nothing, I just.." she stopped again, stumbling over her words, not quite knowing what excuse to give her.

"Oh come on, don't give me that crap. What's _wrong_?" Gemma emphasised and it broke her. Cate lowered her head as silent tears broke free from their cage. She heard Gemma sigh and seconds later, felt a pair of arms wrap around her shoulders. It was comforting, a comfort she hadn't felt in a long time. She'd been alone for almost a year, completely isolated and stuck with her own company. The last time she cried she'd had nobody to turn to; she just cried and cried until she couldn't cry anymore. Slowly, Cate broke and she lifted her own arms to wrap around her new found friend, holding onto the back of her shirt tightly, as if letting go of her would mean she'd leave. "Oh baby.." Gemma whispered into her hair, rubbing her hands gently up and down her back. Cate liked this woman, she wondered why she'd taken to her so easily and she understood why now, she had a motherly aura, something she hadn't been around since her mother passed away.

"I feel so silly" Cate breathed, her voice heavy and full of sadness. "I shouldn't be upset." She added, sniffling again. Gemma moved her hands to rest on her shoulders and she pushed her back slightly, creating some space between them. Cate caught her eye, Gemma's brow furrowed.

"What happened?" she asked for a third time and Cate lifted her hands to wipe at her wet face.

"I was supposed to see Juice tonight.." Cate began, and almost immediately, she saw Gemma sigh and shake her head, her eyes closing for a second. How could she look so disappointed when she didn't even know what had happened yet? "He wanted to take me for a ride but he never showed up.." she continued quietly, pressing her lips together to stop them from trembling, she felt like such an idiot. "I waited for over an hour.. No calls, texts.. _nothing_." Cate finished, shrugging her shoulders. Gemma sighed again and gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sorry that happened to you, sweetheart.." Gemma started, her voice low and kind. "Clay called for church.. I'll bet that he's stuck there." She said quietly, almost as if it were meant for just herself, whilst straightening up and lowering her hands from Cate's shoulders, moving them to rest on her own hips. Cate suddenly felt annoyed again. There had been moments where she was a little worried, maybe something had happened to him and that's why he couldn't get hold of her to tell her? But no.. He was at _church._ What, was he having a little late night confession?

"He's at _church_?" Cate sounded bewildered, her posture now tense as she looked at the brunette. Gemma perked up and sighed, pursing her lips.

"Not _church_ church.." Gemma corrected, but then what did she mean? What other types of church were there? "The boys have these _meetings_ , they're called church."

"So you're telling me he's with the _boys_?" Cate sounded annoyed now, more than anything else. He'd ditched her to spend the evening with his friends? A bitter and short laugh left her lips and she shook her head, raising a hand to rub the back of her neck.

"Probably.. They're important meetings, sweetheart." Gemma tried to explain but Cate just shook her head and she turned around to lock up her car.

"So what? He suddenly forgot how to text?" Sarcasm leaked through her voice, but it wasn't aimed at Gemma, she was just annoyed about Juice, she hoped she knew that. She heard Gemma laugh; she took that as a sign that she knew Cate wasn't annoyed at her.

"No phones allowed.. The meetings are quite last minute sometimes." Gemma explained. Cate turned back around to face her and she sighed quietly, fiddling with her keys again. She opened her mouth to speak but the sound of a ringing phone prevented her from doing so. Gemma raised her hands, suggesting that it wasn't hers."I'll bet that's him, sweetheart. I'll leave you to it." Gemma said with a small grin before turning on her heel, leaving Cate and her ringing backpack alone. She dug into her back and retrieved her phone. Yes, it was Juice. Cate frowned and shoved it into her pocket, deciding to ignore it.. Anything she had to say right now would just make the situation a whole lot worse. As she unlocked her front door, the ringing stop and she felt relieved. But it was short lived, for as soon as she stepped into the threshold of her home, it started ringing again. This time Cate declined the call so that it would stop ringing, and then she put it into silent. Minutes later she was in her kitchen, phone on the side, and it began to vibrate, rattling against the surface. "I swear to _God_." She hissed, shaking her head as she picked up her phone and left the kitchen, a plate with a sandwhich in her other hand. Cate sat on her couch and tucked into her sandwich, having not had anything to eat just yet. Her phone sat on the sofa beside her, vibrating for the fourth time. Would he ever give up and get the message? She didn't want to talk to him right now. As if the God's had heard her pleas, the phone stopped vibrating and she was able to finish what was left of her sandwich in peace.

Cate was watching Die Hard, which had been on one of the channels, and she was about half an hour into but she wasn't really paying much attention. She sighed and lifted her legs up onto the sofa, lying down on her side to face the TV, her head resting comfortably on one of the cushions. Her phone caught her eye, which she'd placed onto the coffee table once it had stopped vibrating. Curiosity got the better of her and she picked it up to check he display screen. 6 missed calls from Juice and 1 text message. She sighed and decided to open up the message. He'd sent it about 20 minutes ago.

 _J: U ignoring me?_

Cate laughed once, shaking her head in disbelief. Was he gonna give her a hard time about ignoring his messages? What else did he expect? Did he not think she'd be annoyed? Did he think it would be ok that he had completely stood her up? Cate lifted her free hand to chew on her thumbnail, contemplating what she could do. She decided to type out a short and quick reply, and that would be it.

 _C: Yup_

It was passive aggressive but that's all she could think of without opening the doors for a conversation. She doubted he would reply, what could he possibly think of in response to her bluntness? Just as she went to put her phone back down on the coffee table, it buzzed once in her hand. She turned it over to see that he had replied.

 _J: I'm really sorry_

Cate suddenly felt very sad again and she swallowed hard, turning so that she was on her back, holding her phone up in front of her face. He was kind, or at least she thought he was, so she wondered if he really _did_ feel bad about it. And what Gemma had said about not being able to have phones, maybe he had wanted to contact her but couldn't? Or was she just trying to make excuses for him, trying to see the good in him, if he had any. Her phone buzzed again.

 _J: Let me make it up 2 u?_

Cate sighed and sat up, turning off her TV. She got up and made her way into her bedroom, turning off the lights on the way. Cate pulled off her jumper and trousers, removed her bra and replaced it with a vest before climbing into her bed. She pulled the sheets up to her shoulders, and reached for her phone one last time as she heard it buzz _again_.

 _J: Please_

Cate typed a reply, it was short and blunt, but she wasn't in the mood. She felt sad, and she'd not felt sad for any other reason than her memories lately, so this was an unusual type of sadness for her.

 _C: Goodnight._

She popped her phone onto the side, set her alarm for the morning, and closed her tearful eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

I managed to find some time to upload a new chapter! It's the only time I'll have until Tuesday unfortunately. So here's a nice little chapter for you, I hope you like it :) I also created a cover photo, I hope you guys can see it? It's been a long time since I put my editing skills to the test, so it's not great but it's a start! I can't thank you enough for all of the support, I genuinely appreciate every follow, favourite and review. Many thanks, as always. Jade x

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CHAPTER 10

 _Cate found herself in a vast desert, as always, with an eerie red hue and an intense heat. Was this her hell? The one she was forced to live in every time she closed her eyes? "Why weren't you there for me?" She heard her brother's voice sob from behind her. It had been so long, she could barely remember what he sounded like. But clearly it was imprinted in her subconscious. Cate turned around and her gaze fell to the floor, where her brother was kneeling, bloody hands held against his chest. Cate choked on a sob and dropped to her knees in front of him. "I'm dying, Cate. You could've saved me" he choked, blood spilling from his mouth. Cate cried and reached out towards him with shaky hands. "YOU KILLED ME!"_

Cate woke up with a gasp, her alarm slowly becoming louder and louder as the ringing in her ears subdued. Her dreams were getting _too_ intense now. Cate reached out for her alarm clock and switched it off before rolling onto her other side, where she brought her hands up to her face and cried. It was an awful cry, one full of all the sadness in the world. She hadn't _physically_ killed her brother; he'd died before she had even had her first tour. But she often blamed herself. Perhaps if she'd joined the army sooner, she could have been out there with him, she could've prevented him from dying. She'd been told that there would have been nothing anyone could have done, that his injuries were too severe, but she still denied it, wondering if perhaps things would have been different if she'd been there. "Stop it!" she hissed at herself in frustration, sitting up and wiping her hands over her face, ridding her skin of the tears that had fallen from her eyes. She'd gone from not crying in months, to crying twice in less than 12 hours. She flung herself out of bed and got ready for the day ahead.

Between eating her toast and drinking her coffee, Cate decided to check her phone as curiosity got the better of her. Nothing. Then again, she had told him she was ignoring him _and_ she'd said her passive-aggressive goodnight. She sighed and popped the device into her bag. Within minutes she'd finished and she collected her keys and backpack before leaving the house. It was another typical sunny day in Charming but she noticed very little of it… she felt numb and she felt _sad_. She knew she must've looked worse than usual, because when she arrived at work, Lisa approached her with a concerned expression and asked if she was OK, to which she nodded and flashed her a tiny, forced smile. _"I'm fine"_ she'd lied.

Her day had been uneventful, _again_. She hated it, she wished it would be busy so she could at least keep busy and be distracted. She sat at the nurses' station, elbow propped on the desk, chin in hand, as she looked down at some patient files. She had finished her documentation, but she sat there and stared at the paper, tapping her pen against the surface absentmindedly. She found herself slipping deep into thought, the hustle and bustle of the emergency department became background noise.

" _Tag you're it!" A younger Cate giggled, slapping her brother on the arm before turning on her heel, running away from the older boy. He laughed and chased after her, arms outstretched towards her as she squealed in fear of being caught._

" _I'm gonna get ya!" he yelled, making Cate laugh and squeal even louder as her little legs ran as fast as they could around twists and bends in the garden. She looked over her shoulder and then tripped over something, landing on her side awkwardly. Cate whimpered as she pushed herself up, looking down at the red grazes on the palms of her hands. She saw her brother crouch down beside her, a concerned expression on his face. He took her palms in his hands and looked at them, before looking at her with a smile. "You're fine, Cate. Just a couple of grazes, no big deal."_

" _It hurts, Michael" she whined, pouting her lips as she stared up at her big brother._

" _I know it does, but you gotta be brave remember. Like me!" he had smiled at her and reached forward, ruffling her hair with his hand which she batted away with her hand, laughing the entire time._

" _Doctor Phillips?" An unfamiliar voice echoed. Michael still smiled at her._

"Doctor Phillips?" It repeated and she snapped out of her daze, blinking a few times before turning her head towards the voice and sitting up straight in her seat. There stood one of the newer nurses, a sheepish smile on her face.

"I'm sorry. I was daydreaming." Cate explained with an awkward laugh, reaching up to sweep her fringe out of her face. She cleared her throat and pushed aside her sadness from the memory she'd found herself remembering. "Is everything okay?" she looked around at the department, hoping she hadn't been ignoring anything important.

"It's ok.." she began and Cate looked back towards her. "Everything's fine, I just have a patient who's come in with a nasty cut on his arm and I was wondering if you'd take a look at it? I've got to cast a broken leg." She explained with a smile.

"No problem. Where is he?" Cate asked whilst closing up the patient file she'd been leaning over, tucking it into the cabinet before rising to her feet.

"He's in examination room 2." The nurse answered and Cate nodded her head in thanks. She made her way over to the room, straightening out her scrub top before tapping on the door gently and making her way in.

"I'm Doctor Phillips, I'll be taking a look at your arm.." she started whilst closing the door, she'd not even turned around yet. But when she did, she felt her breath catch in her throat. There on the examination chair sat Juice, looking up at her with big, puppy dog brown eyes.

"Hey doc" he greeted quietly. Cate felt her heart thudding away in her chest, to the point where she could feel the pulse in her neck thudding gently against her collar. She glanced down at his arm, where he _did_ have quite a big cut on his bicep just above his elbow. Cate cleared her throat and turned her back to him, rooting through the drawers to gather the bits she'd need.

"So what happened?" She asked, not even bothering to return his hello. She'd treat him like a patient, since that was what he was. However, her usual patients wouldn't have stood her up and given her a reason to be angry at them. It was quiet for a moment, but she heard him sigh as she dug through the draw, collecting various items such as swabs, cleaning alcohol and sutures.

"I uh.. I caught it on a car.. A car that I was working on." He stumbled and Cate felt her eyebrow rise. It sounded as if he'd forgotten how he did it, or was making it up as he went along.

"Let me take a look" she said, finally turning around to face him, but she made sure to avoid looking at his face. She sat down on a chair and wheeled herself over to where he sat, her eyes fixed on his arm and his arm only. It was quiet again and Cate just focused on the task at hand. The cut was quite straight; she felt it was almost _too_ straight for something that had apparently been caught on a car. Cuts like that were usually jagged, deep and messy. This was neither of those things, although it was deep enough to need some form of intervention. Cate popped on her blue gloves, grabbed some gauze and the alcohol, before reaching for his arm. She didn't even warn him for the sting like she would with all of her other patients. Juice hissed and flinched, his muscles tensing beneath her touch as she rubbed the cleaning alcohol over his wound so that she could clean it and get a good look at what she was dealing with. Cate had to force herself not to smirk, and she did this by biting on her tongue – causing herself some pain so that she was distracted from smirking or laughing.

"Shit, doc" he sounded like he was speaking through gritted teeth, but Cate still hadn't looked up at his face yet, so she didn't know for sure. Cate gave it a final rub before tossing the bloody gauze into the infectious waste bin. Now that she'd cleaned and disinfected it, she could have a proper look at it. "How are you?" she heard him ask and she glanced up at him then, but only briefly. He looked sad and was trying to give her a smile, but she looked back down at his arm, ignoring his gesture, face blank.

"I don't think you'll need stitches. It's pretty straight so I'll glue it." she informed him whilst ignoring his question of how she was. Cate wheeled herself over to the counter where she rummaged through her bits and pieces, looking for the glue.

"Cate.. Come on, I'm _really_ sorry." Juice spoke from behind her and she closed her eyes for a moment, clenching her teeth together. She had to give it to him, he was persistent and he sounded sincere. But right now she couldn't tell whether she should be flattered or really, _really_ annoyed. She almost wished she could suture his arm, so that she could make him feel uncomfortable and hurt him, but only a little bit of course. She smirked at the thought. Cate cleared her throat, straightened her face and grabbed the glue where she then turned back around to face him and wheeled herself over.

"You'll need to keep still so that it sets right." She told him and she could've sworn she heard him sigh in frustration. She knew she was being stubborn by not conversing with him, but she felt as though he deserved it. Cate straightened his arm and then proceeded with the treatment, leaning in close as she watched where the glue was placed. She was close to him, and her heart fluttered at the proximity. She could _feel_ him staring at her, but she refused to look up. Cate held the cut together and waited for the glue to dry, she blew on it gently to encourage the drying process and watched as goosebumps raised on his skin. She pulled back then and sat up straight, wheeling herself to the desk. "You'll have to keep that dry. I'm gonna pop some steri-strips over it too just to be safe." She told him and rose to her feet, grabbing the strips and then heading over to him. She popped three of the strips on and gently patted the area to make sure they were stuck. As Cate went to move, she felt Juice wrap his hand around her wrist gently.

"Cate, _please_ " his voice was firm, he sounded desperate. Cate swallowed hard and moved her gaze to settle on his face. His brow was furrowed and he looked sad.

"What do you want me to say, Juice?" she asked quietly, stood in front of him, aware that his hand was still wrapped around her wrist. "I waited for you for over an _hour_ and you didn't show. I wasted my time _waiting_ for you." she told him, gently tugging her wrist out of his grasp so that she could cross her arms.

"I know.. And I'm really sorry, Cate. Clay called a meet and I didn't have time to get hold of you. We have to put our phones in this stupid bowl and it was all a big rush and I felt _so_ bad, I could see the time and I knew I was late but I couldn't do anything about it. I called you as soon as I was out." He said quickly, stumbling over his words, sitting forward on his seat as he looked up at her. Cate sighed then and slumped her shoulders, trying to relieve some of the pressure building up within the muscles there. It was exactly the same as what Gemma had warned her about last night, about how these meeting were often last minute, and he probably wanted to call but couldn't.

"You pissed me off, Juice" she began, her voice firm. She didn't want to appear upset in front of him. "I don't usually make time for people, but I made it for you and look at what happened." She explained quietly.

"I _promise_ it won't happen again.. I swear it." he pleaded and Cate chewed on her lip as she watched him, suddenly feeling a little bit guilty. Her emotions were all over the shop recently, and she knew it would only get worse in the weeks that followed. It concerned her to no end.

"Fine." She told him after some deliberation., finally letting up and deciding to ease off on him a little bit. His face lit up then, and she watched as he smiled, quickly getting to his feet.

"Really?" he checked, clearly not believing his luck and she wasn't surprised.

"Yes" she confirmed, peeling her gloves off and tossing them into the bin before looking back at him. "If it happens again, I won't be so forgiving, Juice." She warned him and he nodded his head, she noticed him gulp too.

"I promise it won't.." Juice responded eagerly. Cate gave him a small smile before nodding towards the door, which he followed her to. "What made you change your mind?" She heard him ask and she let out a short laugh as she shook her head.

"Anybody who cuts themselves on purpose just to see the person who's ignoring their calls deserves a chance to redeem themselves.. In my opinion." She told him and she watched as he tensed and shook his head, a barely noticeable blush rising to his cheeks. She was only joking with him, winding him up by implying that the injury had been staged so that she could see her. But Cate could only _suspect,_ she didn't know the truth, all she knew was what he'd told her, and what she was looking at on his arm.

"Wait, what? No.. I didn't.. That's not what happened. I.. it was the car, remember?" he stammered and Cate grinned at him and his sudden panic, clearly not realising she'd been joking.

"Whatever you say, Juice. Now go.. I have work to do with people who are _really_ hurt." She guided him out of the examination room. He stopped once they were outside and he turned to face her.

"Tonight? Let me make it up to you. I'll be here, I swear it." He suggested and Cate pondered it for a moment. On one hand, she was worried it would all happen again and she'd be back to where she started this morning. However, she wanted to give him that second chance, hoped he'd keep his word. Cate slowly nodded her head and Juice smiled.

"Ok.. Just don't let me down again." Cate finished before turning around and leaving him stood there.

"I won't, Cate" she barely heard him reply as she made for the staff room, needing to calm herself down after that surprise interaction. Since when did her life become so dramatic?


	11. Chapter 11

Sooo I couldn't wait until Tuesday! I managed to find some time to quickly upload this chapter for you all. But after this there won't be another until Tuesday! Here we are, will Juice show up?! Enjoy X

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CHAPTER 11

The rest of Cate's shift passed by surprisingly fast after her encounter with Juice in the afternoon, and she couldn't decide if she was excited or anxious. In fact, she was feeling a mixture of everything. Understandably, Cate was a little concerned that the same thing would happen and he wouldn't turn up. If it were to happen, she'd decided that she wouldn't wait... If he wasn't there when she left, she'd go straight home. She wouldn't give him another chance and she _wouldn't_ hesitate to block his number and avoid interactions with him at all costs. The thought made her increasingly more anxious. Charming was a small town and she'd struggle to avoid him, and if she were to continue being friends with Gemma, she'd likely bump into him through her. There'd be no avoiding anyone in Charming, which was one of the downsides of living in a town so small compared to places she'd been before.

Cate sat down on the sofa in the staff room, tying up the laces of her trainers when she noticed that her hands were trembling, which she decided to pay little attention to and continued with what she was doing. She'd already gotten changed and this point into her usual 'after work' clothes, however this time she'd chucked a plain grey vest top into the bag with her leggings. She hadn't expected this was how her evening would end up, she'd left under the impression that she'd be returning home after work to lounge on her sofa and watch TV.

"Any plans for this evening, Cate?" she heard Lisa ask from over by the lockers. Cate looked up and smiled at the nurse.

"Supposedly.. But we'll see" she replied, sounding a little uncertain. Lisa smiled and Cate watched from the sofa as she moved towards the door, but she stopped and turned to face her again.

"It wouldn't have anything to do with that biker dude that was here earlier would it?" Lisa questioned with a playful tone to her voice which made Cate laugh quietly.

"How do you know about that?" Cate asked, rising to her feet once she was sure that she was ready to leave.

"Oh you know me.. I overheard him talking with the newbie a little when he came in. Something about wanting to see _you_.. He's got quite the smile on him!" Lisa chirped and an image of Juice and his bright smile came to Cate's mind, making her cheeks feel warm. "I don't think she could resist, poor darling didn't stand a chance.. She went looking for you as soon as he asked. That's a smile that'll get you weak in the knees. Am I right?" she continued to tease the doctor. Cate rolled her eyes and moved towards the door where Lisa was already standing.

"I don't know what you're talking about.." She replied coyly and they both laughed together. Cate was fighting the urge to smile upon the news that Juice had arrived with the intention of having _her_ treat him, she'd thought it was a little too weird to be a coincidence and now it was confirmed.

"Whatever you say, honey" Lisa laughed as they both walked down the corridor towards the exit. Cate liked Lisa, she was only a few years older than and they got on well when they were at work. She'd been hesitant at first, not really wanting to mix her work and her personal life. But gradually, things were starting to change and who knew? Maybe soon she'd bite the bullet and finally agree to do one of the things that Lisa was always suggesting they could do. One thing at a time though, Cate didn't want stress of several big changes happening at once.

Cate felt herself growing increasingly anxious as they neared the main entrance of the hospital. Would he be there? No, he wouldn't be. He'd stand her up again and prove himself to be unreliable and unworthy of her trust and second chances. She'd feel upset again, she'd be angry, she'd open herself up to all of that negative energy.. Not that she _needed_ any more of that in her life. Cate was looking at the ground at this point, too worried to look up and be faced with a Juice-less surrounding. Was she ready for that sort of disappointment again?

"Don't know what I was talking about, huh?" She heard Lisa question, confusing Cate slightly.

"What do you mean?" Cate replied and looked up at her colleague as the sliding doors opened and they stepped out into the night. Before Lisa could even answer, Cate's gaze fell on the motorbike down by the sidewalk, Juice sat on it, his big grin in place.

"Have a good night.." Lisa spoke quietly and Cate briefly managed to tear her gaze away from Juice to look at her, eyes falling upon her face.

"Thanks, Lisa.. You too" Cate replied and watched as she left before turning her attention back towards Juice who had climbed off his bike and was now on his feet. She cleared her throat and drew in a deep breath through her nose before making her way down the steps towards him. "You came.." She spoke as she finally reached him, coming to a stop in front of his bike. Perhaps she should've been a bit less pessimistic and had a little more faith in the poor man, she'd spent her whole afternoon fretting about whether or not he'd show up, and there he was. She smiled instantly, not being able to hold it back anymore. "How's your arm?"

"What.. You thought I wouldn't?" He teased, giving her a big grin. He then patted his bicep gently. "Good as new.." he told her in reference to his small wound and she laughed.

"You really wanna go there?" She asked with a sarcastic tone in response to his _'you thought I wouldn't'_ comment, brow rising slightly as she tilted her head. Obviously she was teasing, and she could tell that he knew because he smiled gently and shook his head.

"Definitely _not_.." he emphasised the last word and gave an awkward laugh, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. "So.."

"Ok, rule number one.." Cate suddenly interjected, stepping towards Juice and his bike. "No awkwardness or feeling bad. We can forget about what happened yesterday.. In fact, what even happened? What were we talking about?" She feigned confusion and shrugged her shoulders. Juice's smile widened and she heard him laugh.

"You know what? I don't remember.." He played along, making Cate grin. She didn't want there to be any awkward feelings because of what happened. She didn't want him to feel bad and thus act weirdly with her, and she didn't want to continue to be annoyed at him. He was here now, he'd made good on his word, and she wanted to forget all about it. It was a second chance, a clean slate. "So.. We taking this show on the road, or not?" He asked, extending a second helmet out towards her.

"That's what we're here for, right?" Cate returned and reached out to take the helmet which she then lifted onto her head and fastened beneath her chin. She was sure she looked like an idiot, but safety first and all that. She watched as Juice climbed onto the bike and he reached back to pat the space behind him, where she would be sitting. Cate moved over to the side of the bike and lifted her leg over it, positioning herself down behind him. It was then that she realised she'd never been this close to Juice, and she'd not once thought about the obvious fact that she'd have to sit right up against him when she agreed to go on this ride. Not that it mattered, of course, but it gave Cate some very obvious butterflies within her stomach, which was something that she'd not experienced in a long time. She got herself comfortable behind him and it was then she got a full look at the back of his leather jacket. 'SONS OF ANARCHY – CALIFORNIA' was written on the back, circling a large reaper. She reached her fingertips forwards, tracing It gently over the patches. It clicked then that it was the same one tattooed on his forearm which she'd commented on when they first met. Another question for another time.

"You better hold on, doc" she heard him say and she complied, slowly moving her hands around his waist where they settled over his abdomen. The leather was cold and smooth against her hands, and she was aware that only an inch or so of material lay between her hands and his skin. Cate mentally cursed her wandering mind. She hadn't been this close to any man in a _long_ time, hell, she hadn't even had inappropriate thoughts about a man until recently. The sound and movement of Juice clearing his throat broke her out of her thoughts. "You ready?" she heard him say in a voice that sounded a little strained.

"Let's go" she informed him and in seconds, he'd started his engine, kicked his stand back and they were off. Cate found that she'd pushed herself closer to his back for some extra security, it was her first time on the back of a bike and she felt a little uncomfortable at first. But it soon settled after some time and she felt herself relax against him.

The ride was exhilarating but she also found it quite calming. The way the breeze whipped in her hair, the scenery flashing by as they sped past.. She liked it. Every time they turned a corner, she found that she'd involuntarily clench her thighs and tighten her arms around him and she wondered if he had noticed.

"You hungry?!" she heard him yell over the sound of the engine and the breeze, she could barely hear him over it all.

"Yeah, I could eat!" Cate didn't shout as loud, as she'd leant forward a little so that she could speak close to his ear so she was sure that he would hear her. She was sure she felt him shudder but with the vibrations from the bike, she couldn't tell. A little bit later, Juice pulled up into the parking lot of a diner and turned off the loud, rumbling engine once he'd parked up. Cate was the first to climb off the bike and once her feet were on the ground she flinched slightly as a twinge shot through her knee. It wasn't awful, it was likely due to the way she'd been sat on the bike for a little while, it was a position she wasn't often sat in, funnily enough. Whilst unclipping her helmet, she noticed Juice climb off the bike and she smiled as she caught his eye.

"How was that?" he asked her, sounding proud of himself as he took off his own helmet, hanging it from the handles of his bike.

"It was great!" she grinned, lifting off her own helmet and passing it to him. "I bet I have awful helmet hair, which _isn't_ so great.." she whined, lifting her fingers to push them through the roots of her hair. Juice smiled at her and shook his head, looking down at her with his big brown eyes. Cate paused then, lowering her hands back down to rest on her hips, smiling gently at him.

"Nah.." He began, lifting his eyes to look over her hair before he looked back down to meet her eyes. His stare was intense and it brought back those butterflies in her stomach. "You look _great_ " he confirmed. Cate gave him a questioning stare before she looked down at herself in her leggings, crumpled vest top and hooded jacket. She did _not_ look great at all. She looked back up at him and gave him a look. "Don't be givin' me those 'I don't believe you looks', doc. Let's go eat." He laughed and gestured towards the entrance, allowing her to go first. Cate made her way over to the door and stopped quickly as Juice swooped in front of her to grab the door, pulling it open for her. He was sweet; she had to give him that.

"Thank you, kind sir" she teased with a little bow of her head before she entered the diner. It was quiet, a few people scattered across the establishment. Cate decided to lead them over to a booth by the window in the corner where she slipped down onto the bench and slid across to sit in the middle. Juice followed and he sat directly opposite her, although he looked a lot bigger than she did, sat in the small compartment. Cate quickly cast an eye at the others within the diner and noticed a couple of them looking over at herself and Juice but they swiftly looked away once they'd noticed her staring.

"Here you go.." Juice sang, pushing a menu across the table towards her, his one already open on the table in front of him. Cate thanked him and opened her own menu, casting her gaze down upon it. She looked over it for less than a minute before she closed it and pushed it back into the centre of the table, Juice looked up at her with a confused expression.

"What? I've decided.." she explained with a shrug of her shoulders.

" _Already?_ " he asked in surprise, his eyebrows rising. Cate laughed quietly and nodded. "Wow.. You're like, the quickest person ever to decide on somethin'.." He chuckled, glancing back down at his own menu.

"What can I say? I'm a woman who knows what she wants." Cate joked and she noticed Juice glance over the table at her, his head still lowered from where he'd been looking down at the menu. She pursed her lips to stop herself from smiling but when he smiled over at her, her façade broke and she smiled too. She watched his face as he looked back down at the menu, taking in the little details of his face. "Where are you from, Juice?" she suddenly asked, as if the filter between her brain and her mouth had decided to have a break. He looked up at her then and closed his menu, sitting back in his seat.

"I'm from Queens, New York.." He answered and she'd expected something along those lines, he had a very distinct accent, one that she happened to like. She'd noticed it the first time they met, but hadn't really found it appropriate to ask.. Until now. "What about you? I mean.. You're obviously not from Charming.." he returned the question and Cate sat up a little to shrug off her hooded jacket.

"Arizona.." she began whilst taking off her jacket, tossing it to the side before looking back towards Juice, sitting back in her seat. "I don't miss the place but I miss the memories.. My Ma, my _brother_.." she breathed out her last word, as if she realised what she was saying _as_ she said it. She gave him a sad smile and gave a shrug of her shoulders.

"So why Charming? Why didn't you go back home? I mean.. Not that I'm not glad you chose Charming.." he stammered and Cate laughed quietly, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ears.

"It would have been too much.. If I went back to Arizona after what happened, I think all those memories that I miss would've driven me insane.." She said with a laugh in an attempt to lighten the conversation. "My uncle always lived here.. We were super close despite the distance and long story short, he left me the house along with everything else, in his will.. So it made sense to come out here. Have a new start.." she explained, deciding to sit on her hands once she noticed she'd been drumming her fingers against the seat. Juice went to say something but was interrupted by the voice of a woman.

"Are you ready to order?" The older woman asked, pen and paper in hand.

"I'll just have the cheeseburger with fries and a lemonade, please." Cate asked whilst pushing the closed menu to the edge of the table towards the woman. Cate noticed the woman staring down at her arm with the scar and she slowly drew it back, sitting back on her hands.

"And you?" she heard her say to Juice, but she hadn't been looking, she was staring out of the window now.

"What she's having, but a Coke please." Said Juice, and silence ensued once the woman had left.

"Copycat.." Cate commented as she turned her head away from the window and looked back towards Juice who was watching her intently, although a smile quickly appeared on his face.

"Who? Me?" he asked in a gasp, hand over his chest. "Not at all" he concluded and Cate sunk her teeth into her bottom lip as she smiled. "So.." Juice breathed after a brief pause, leaning forward in his seat, resting his crossed arms on the surface of the table. "What made you wanna join the army?" Cate swallowed and leant forward herself so that she was in the same position as he was. She was sure he'd have questions, and she'd answer whatever she could, to an extent.

"My brother.." She replied honestly, forcing a small smile onto her lips. "I looked up to him, he inspired me.. I was at med school anyway because I wanted to be a doctor but yeah.. He joined the army, told me all about it and eventually I decided that I _wanted_ to be there. I wanted to help people like him who were fighting for us.. Thought maybe I could prevent some loss of life out there.." Cate continued to explain, glancing up to catch eyes with Juice who was listening to everything she had to say. She appreciated that he seemed interested in whatever she was saying.

"So why'd you quit?" Juice asked and Cate felt something pull at her stomach and was instantly aware of that feeling of dread in the depths of her chest. She felt goosebumps rise on her arms as a chill spread through her veins.

"I didn't quit.." Her voice was so quiet it could almost pass as a whisper. Her gaze lowered to her hands, which were now clasped tightly together on top of the table. "There was a uhh.. I got.." she stammered now, not quite able to form a sentence, her heart began to race, drumming away faster and faster within her chest. "Something _terrible_ happened and I.." Her knuckles turned white from where she was squeezing her hands together so tight, she was getting sucked into that black hole and Juice must have noticed something, as suddenly she felt his hands curl around hers.

"Cate?" he asked firmly, trying to capture her attention. "Cate? It's ok.." His voice was laced with concern. Cate snapped out of it then and she blinked twice before looking up to meet his intense stare.

"I'm sorry.. I can't.. " she breathed quietly, feeling her brow dip as she frowned. She felt his hands squeeze hers and she instantly released the tension within her fists, letting her fingers uncurl. She looked down and watched as he took her freshly opened hands into his own, giving them a gentle squeeze over the table. Cate looked back up at him, pushing her lips together, her frown still present. She felt so embarrassed, she could feel a gentle heat at her cheeks and she was sure she probably looked flushed as a result. She'd probably just made this whole dinner awkward and their food hadn't even arrived yet! Juice stared at her and he slowly smiled.

"Sorry about what? Nothing happened.. I don't know what you're talkin' about.." he told her, shrugging his shoulders. Cate smiled then and a laugh broke free from behind her teeth. He was using what she'd said when they met outside the hospital, about her rule of not feeling awkward or feeling bad for anything.

"Thank you, Juice" she was sincere with her thanks, he'd handled what had just happened _so_ well, and she respected him massively for it. She looked downwards again as she felt his thumb move gently over the back of her hand. A throat clearing suddenly captured her attention and they pulled their hands away from each other. The waitress presented them with their food, and they quietly gave their thanks as it was place in front of them. As this was happening, Cate cast an eye over at Juice who did the same thing and they smiled at one another before breaking their eye contact.

The rest of their 'dinner' went really well. They asked each other trivial questions, spoke about random things and mostly just had a laugh and a nice time. Cate found that she felt comfortable in Juice's presence, like she could be herself, how she was before her injury and her army life. Their conversations weren't forced and her laughs weren't fake. She thought they were getting on incredibly well, and she'd not had such a pleasant evening out in a long time.

A couple of hours had passed by the time Cate and Juice pulled back up to the hospital, only this time it was to the side where the staff car park was situated. They probably would have spent even longer together, if it hadn't been for Juice's phone ringing. He'd had to go, he didn't _want_ to, she could see that by the look he'd given her, but she understood. Juice switched off the engine and Cate climbed off the back of his back for the second time that night, handing him over his helmet.

"Well.. Thanks for tonight. I had a really nice time.." she told him, a smile gracing her lips. The parking lot was quiet now, aside from the occasional car passing by and the sound of their breathing. Juice hadn't gotten off his bike, and she didn't need him too either, they were just saying their goodbyes. He looked up at her and returned her smile.

"Same here.. I'm pleased you gave me another shot" he said, bringing his hands down to rest on his lap as he sat there in front of her.

"Me too." She replied quickly, not even second guessing her answer. She _was_ happy she'd given him this second chance. She'd had an amazing evening. Juice cleared his throat and looked towards her car, which he'd parked up next to.

"You sure you'll be alright gettin' home?" he asked and Cate rolled her eyes.

"I've gotten home alright every other night since being here.. I don't think tonight will be much different." She laughed quietly, pushing her hands into the pockets of her jacket. "So.." she added, dragging the word out slowly. "I'll see you around?" Cate asked quietly, looking down at the ground as she asked, before looking back over at Juice for his reaction. He grinned his big old grin and nodded his head eagerly.

" _Yeah_ you will" he replied enthusiastically and Cate shook her head as she laughed. His phone began to ring then and she knew it was time to go. She watched him reach for his pocket, and as he did that she decided to lean forward, resting her hand gently on his shoulder for support and she pressed a small, quick kiss to his cheek. She felt him stop what he was doing and she couldn't help but smile at his reaction as she stepped back, his phone continuing to ring, filling the silence between them.

"Goodnight, Juice" she said quietly, giving him one last smile before she climbed into the car and shut the door behind her. In seconds, she'd starter her engine and was putting her car into gear. She glanced out of her window and saw Juice was now on his phone, however he was still staring at her and had that big grin on his face. He gave her a single handed wave, and she gave him a nod, before driving out of the car park, leaving Juice in her rear view mirror.


	12. Chapter 12

I've just finished the _longest_ day at work. Here's a little update for you all as promised! As always, your support (reviews, follows, favourites) means the world to me and I'm so thankful! Enjoy! x

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CHAPTER 12

The shrill beeping of Cate's alarm woke her from her dreamless slumber, and with a groan she rolled over and switched it off before turning onto her back. She lay there for a minute and suddenly broke into a smile as she found herself thinking about the night before. Spending time with Juice had been wonderful, it had made her feel human again and for the few hours she was with him, she'd forgotten all about her troubles. A random laugh bubbled out from between her lips and she brought her hands up to cover her smiling face. She felt like an idiot for reacting in such a way, but she was pleased she'd woken up feeling happy for once. It was the first natural sleep she'd had in a long time where she _hadn't_ had a nightmare.. She felt a little suspicious of the fact, but decided to pay no attention to it and be thankful for it instead.

Cate pushed her hands over her head, sweeping her hair away from her face before she sat herself up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. It was then that she grabbed her phone to see that she had 2 unread messages from Juice which instantly brought another smile to her face. She'd received them at night and she'd already been fast asleep at that time.

 _J: I hope u had fun tonight and got home OK_

 _J: Ur prob asleep, sleep well Cate_

She'd brought her finger up to her mouth and had been chewing on her nail through a smile as she read the message. He was really sweet.. Sweeter than any of the other men she'd met before.

 _C: Morning, sorry I was out like a light. I had a great time. Enjoyed the rideon your cool bike._

She let out a quick and quiet laugh as she sent the message, wondering how long the joke of 'cool bike' would continue. Cate put her phone down and then got up, it was almost 9 o'clock and she knew she had to get ready to head out; she had another session with her psychiatrist scheduled.. He'd recommended it and she was well aware of why.. An anniversary was quickly approaching and he wanted to make sure she was ok. She'd been trying to ignore it, and was _still_ trying to. She planned on heading to the gym afterwards, knowing she'd need to vent her emotions in some way.

An hour or so later and Cate had gotten herself ready and had left the house. She'd gone out in her gym clothes, since she was going nowhere special and would be heading straight to the gym after she was done with Ross. Instead of driving, she decided that she would walk into town today.. It would give her a chance to clear her mind before _and_ after her session. She disliked them, she didn't like talking about her issues and she often avoided the subject, which made the sessions hard for Ross as the whole idea of them was to help her control her symptoms and deal with her problems. She knew she was hard work, she'd always been stubborn but even more so now. All she wanted to do was tuck all of her memories and feelings that came with them away into a box and bury it in the deepest, darkest corners of her mind. But that wouldn't work and deep down, she knew that.

"Cate.. Good to see you." Ross greeted as she finally entered his office. She gave him a small smile and a nod of her head before she crossed the room and perched herself in her usual seat, sitting upright and tense as she always did. "So, how have you been?" He asked as she watched him cross the room to sit on the seat across from her, her notes in his hands.

"I've been good.." she told him confidently, nodding her head as if it were a extra form of confirmation. "I didn't have any nightmares last night." She added eagerly, wanting him to see that she'd at least had _one_ form of improvement, since she didn't make improvements very often, not lately anyway. He raised his eyebrows and this and gave her a smile.

"That's great news, Cate.." He told her, briefly looking down to scribble his pen across her notes. She wondered what he was writing, what her documented about her during their sessions. "But you had them every other night?" There it was.. Almost as if she couldn't have one good thing without being reminded of the bad. She slowly nodded her head in response to his question. "What was different about yesterday then? Did you do anything differently? It will be interesting to see if there's a explanation for why you didn't have the reoccurring nightmares.." Cate immediately knew the answer, although she was concerned that it might sound a little silly.

"I went out after work last night." She informed him and he seemed to perk up at the news and nodded his head appreciatively, noting down what she'd told him down onto his paperwork.

"That's _wonderful_ , Cate!" he told her enthusiastically, smiling over at her. She returned his gesture with a smaller smile and she nodded her head slowly. "Was it with Lisa? You said she'd been wanting to do something with you for a while.." Cate cleared her throat and fidgeted in her seat for a second before stilling.

"Uh, no it wasn't.. I went out with a guy I met last week.." She told him, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear. Ross' expression changed and he pursed his lips slightly and tapped his pen against the paper on his lap. It sounded awfully loud in the silence of his office. "He towed my car when it broke down.. my neighbour is a mutual friend so we kinda bumped into each other a couple of times and he asked if I wanted to go on a ride on his bike, and I did, so we just.. Went." She explained, cracking her knuckles. Ross gave a slow nod and glanced down at the notes before looking back over at her.

"And you had a good time?" He asked her softly after a moment of silence.

"I did.." She admitted and found herself smiling a little which she tried to hide with a bite of her lip.

"That's great.." He didn't sound too enthused about the news, he sounded more excited when he'd thought that she had maybe gone out with Lisa. "Bike, you say?" he questioned and she nodded. "A motorcycle?" he asked and again, she nodded.

"Yeah.. It was fun." She replied and couldn't help but notice a brief look of concern flash across his features.

"Just be careful, Cate. You don't want to rush into anything with the wrong type of.. _people_." He informed her and she felt herself frown then.

"Ross.. For a few hours last night, I felt _happy_.. I felt like my old self. I woke up this morning smiling.. _Smiling_!" she stressed the fact, sitting forward in her seat now. "I spoke about my brother.. _Willingly_. I almost had one of my 'attacks' and he dealt with it _so_ well.. He didn't treat me like I was a nutjob when it happened, either." Cate explained, almost as if she felt like she had to defend Juice to her psychiatrist who'd sounded quite judgemental about him. All because he rode a motorcycle.. What was so wrong with that? Ross sighed and then gave a nod, sitting further back in his seat.

"I'm really pleased to hear that, Cate.." He told her with another smile, however this one looked a little more forced. Cate didn't understand why he was being so weird about it.

"What's the problem here, Ross?" she questioned, finally losing her patience and not wanting to act like she hadn't noticed his behaviour.

"Cate, it's just these _biker_ types have a reputation.. In fact I'm surprised you've not heard. They're known to be _menaces_ , and I want what's best for you. And I'm not really sure if being around _that_ is going to be good for you in the grand scheme of things." He explained, being totally honest with her now that she'd called him out. Cate frowned again and shook her head; she'd not heard anything of that sort.. He was probably just being presumptuous or listening to the small town gossip like everybody else.

"He's a mechanic, Ross. He and his colleagues like motorcycles, what's so wrong with that?" the question was rhetorical, and sarcasm leaked into her tone, she didn't like that he was being judgemental.

"Ok, Cate.." He sighed and she hoped he would drop the topic now that he knew what she thought about it. "We're getting off topic.." he continued, shuffling through his papers. "The one year anniversary of your accident is coming up next week and you've been avoiding the conversation." He came right out with it and she felt her breath catch in her throat. She _had_ been avoiding it. Ross had warned her during the first few months that a lot of people in similar situations found the anniversaries of the events were quite difficult times, some of the _most_ difficult perhaps. The thought worried Cate.. She'd been so awful in the earlier months and she was scared that she'd be like that, or even worse. So she simply avoided it and tried not to think about it, hoping that perhaps one day she would forget about the date completely. "You can't just forget about it, Cate.." It was as if he'd just read her mind. "It'll creep up on you and it will be even worse to deal with.. You need to acknowledge it." he concluded and she finally swallowed the lump in her throat.

"I have.. I _am_ " she lied.

"We both know that's not true.." Again, it was as if he was in her mind, reaching into all the corners she left untouched. Cate sighed and reached her hands up, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"I'll deal with it when it comes, Ross. I don't want to spend _all_ my time worrying about it. It's a date in a calendar.. One normal day out of 365 other days.. I'll be _fine_." She told him matter-of-factly, really not wanting to talk about it anymore.

"Ok.." He didn't seem convinced, then again, neither was she.

40 minutes later and their session was finished. Cate had escaped the room full of negative energy and had made her way outside. She hated the sessions.. Simply _hated_ them and all the feelings they dragged up. She often wished none of this had ever happened, that she'd never gone into the army, and then none of this would have come to be. She wouldn't be suffering with PTSD; she wouldn't be all fucked up. She'd be normal.. Normal, boring and mediocre. Cate pulled her phone from her drawstring gym bag to check the time, but found she had a text from Juice, he must have replied during her session when her phone was on silent (which she'd now turned off).

 _J: Hey, u busy today?_

He was very much a straight to the point kind of person and she couldn't help but smile as she looked down at his text.

 _C: Not much, just heading to the gym. You?_

She replied and began to make her way down the street towards her gym, phone held in her hand down by her side. It didn't take long for her to get there and she was pleased to see that it was relatively quiet. With no reply from Juice, she popped her phone back into her bag, stored it in a locker and got to it.

By the time she'd finished her session, she was covered with a thin and glistening layer of sweat. She'd worked out to her 'angry playlist' and let out some of her frustrations and negative energy into her workout. She'd spent a lot of time on the boxing bags, and now her hands felt sore, despite having them wrapped. She didn't mind it though. After using a small towel to dry her face and chest, she made her way over to her locker and retrieved her bag, grabbing her phone from inside of it. Another text from Juice was present on her phone and she grinned.

 _J: Just working. So boring! Need a break soon._

Cate checked the time, it was almost midday now and she pondered on a thought. She would be walking home; perhaps she could wander by Teller-Morrow on her way back? She could do with the distraction after her session a little while ago.. He might not even be free though; he was probably _super_ busy working on some unfortunate souls broken down vehicle. However, she wondered what the harm in asking would be? She could make it seem casual, like it was just a quick idea.

 _C: Need some company for that break?_

She sent it and instantly felt anxiety bubble up in her gut. Why had she done that? She didn't want to seem eager or desperate, they'd only seen each other last night. But she would like to, she enjoyed their conversations and his company. She just wasn't used to all of it.. She knew girls had rules such as 'don't send the first text' but she didn't believe in all that. Cate was a firm believer in doing what you wanted. Within minutes, her phone made a sound, alerting her of a text message.

 _J: Only if you bring coffee_

It buzzed in her hand again

 _J: jk, if u want to, that would be cool_

Cate smiled then and she found herself walking a little faster down the sidewalk. She was so distracted in her thoughts that she didn't even think of replying to him. Instead, she carried on with her path, reaching up to pull her messy ponytail tighter. She knew she looked scruffy, but she didn't really mind.. All he times he'd seen her she'd been scruffy, apart from the one night at Gemma's barbeque where she'd made an effort to look a little nicer. Cate stopped off in a café on the way to Teller-Morrow and picked up one ordinary coffee and one decaf iced latte for herself.. Normal coffee made her heart race and triggered her anxiety, so she had learnt to avoid that.

As she neared the garage, she felt her stomach tighten and her heart race within her chest, almost as if she _had_ drunk some coffee. She cleared her throat, drew in a deep breath and made her way through the entrance. It was fairly busy, similar to how it was the first and last time she'd been there. As she walked up towards the garage, she noticed a number of bikes parked up, her eyes falling on Juice's cool one.. She smiled at the thought.

"Cate!" She heard someone call and she looked away from the bikes towards the garage, to see Juice stepping out from the inside where a couple of cars were parked up. He was smiling widely in her direction and so she gave him a smile back, she didn't even have to think about whether to smile or not, it just happened.

"Hey Juice.." she greeted once she'd neared him, he had walked towards her too and they'd met somewhat in the middle. He was wiping his hands clean of grease with a cloth. "Here you go" she said whilst extending the coffee towards him.

"Oh man.. I wasn't being serious.. You didn't have to get me anything.." He stammered, looking down at the cup before returning his gaze to hers. Cate rolled her eyes and pushed it out more, closer towards him.

"I know I didn't _have_ to, but I wanted to. So take the damn coffee!" she laughed as she finished her sentence and he finally relented, taking the coffee from her hand.

"Thanks, doc.. You're a lifesaver.. _Literally_.. Inside the hospital and out of it." He told her and then nodded towards the picnic bench and moved over to it. Cate followed.

"Don't worry about it.." She began with a laugh, sitting down on the bench opposite him, resting the plastic cup of her iced coffee down on the table. "So how're you?" she asked and Juice smiled at her and shrugged his shoulders.

"Not bad.. The boys are keepin' me busy, keep givin' me the crappy jobs.." He gave a playful scowl as he cast a look over his shoulder towards the garage before looking back at her. Cate took a brief moment to look past him and over to where he looked, she caught eye with the curly-black-haired man she'd seen before, _Tig_ , if she remembered correctly, who winked at her when she saw him look. She ignored it and looked back at Juice's face, smiling. "What about you? You ok? How was the gym?" he asked, one after the other and Cate chuckled.

"Yeah I'm fine and the gym was good.. Think I went a little _too_ hard on the bags though.." She said, rubbing at her knuckles which still looked a little red. She noticed Juice looked down at them, briefly looking a little concerned, before he met her gaze again. "I had a lot of negative energy to take out on them." She explained, answering the question she knew he was probably about to ask her.

"Why all the negativity? I thought you had a good time last night.." He almost sounded disheartened and Cate suddenly sat straighter and leant forward a little.

"Oh god no!" she rushed out, shaking her head. "I had _such_ a fun time, Juice!" Cate continued, not wanting him to think for a second that she had any negative thoughts or feelings which came from their little outing the night before. "I always get a little.. _meh_.. after my psych-.." she stopped suddenly, as she noticed she'd basically let slip about her appointments. Juice had noticed as his brow dipped as he watched her. She could try to dig her way out of it but it would just look weird.. And strangely enough, she felt inclined to tell Juice the truth. It was a weird feeling, because she hadn't known him very long.. But he just had such a trustworthy vibe to him; it was something she couldn't particularly explain. All she knew was that she didn't want to lie. However, instead of explaining what she had just been about to say, she decided to simplify it in an attempt to perhaps avoid more questions until she was ready. Cate moved in a little and reached a hand up to rub awkwardly at her collar bone. "I have PTSD.." She told him quietly, glad that nobody else was around to hear her. Juice's features softened then and he gave a slow, single nod of his head in understanding.

"I see.." He began in a thoughtful voice. That was it, she'd blown it. He'd decide that he wouldn't want to converse with a mental case anymore and stop texting her. "I uh.." he started and Cate lowered her gaze, preparing herself for the inevitable blow. "I have OCD.. If that helps.." Cate's eyes suddenly flickered back up towards his face, a small smile evident on his lips as she met his big brown eyes with her own bright blue ones. Cate suddenly felt herself smile involuntarily, and she wondered why she'd felt so worried about him reacting badly to the fact she had some mental health issues. Here he was, trying to make her feel less uncomfortable with her revelation, by revealing one of his own person issues. Now it made sense, why he was always scrubbing the grease and grime away from his skin both times she'd seen him there at the garage.

"You do?" she asked softly and he nodded at her in response. "You didn't have to tell me that, Juice.." she informed him, almost feeling bad, like she'd somehow forced him into it.

"I know I didn't _have_ to.." He began and she could immediately see where he was growing, her smile returning in full force. He was repeating her teasing words to him which she'd said not long ago when she gave him the coffee. "But I wanted to.." he finished, quoting her word for word when she gave him his coffee before, returning her smile. Cate was still grinning like an idiot and she rolled her eyes in a playful gesture, shaking her head.

"Well.. Thank you.." she told him honestly and she hoped that he'd realise how much she meant it.

"No problem, doc.." He replied with a wave of his hand before taking a large mouthful from his coffee. She watched as he suddenly struggled to swallow the mouthful, bringing his fist up to rest in front of his mouth. "Jesus, this is _hot_!" he hissed, coughing once he'd swallowed. Cate was laughing at that point, tears coming to the corners of her eyes.

"Oh i'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh.. But it's hot coffee, what did you expect?" she laughed, reaching up to wipe beneath her eyes, sighing contently once she'd calmed down.

"I don't know.. I was distracted, ok?" he laughed as well and it set her off again so that they were both laughing together.

"JUICE?!" She heard someone call and they both looked over to the source of the voice. It was Tig. "I need your help, bro!" he shouted over and she turned her attention back to Juice, watching as he slumped and groaned deep within his throat.

"You literally _just_ got here.." He grumbled, turning back to face her. A small smile spread across her lips and she shook her head.

"Honestly, don't worry about it. I was heading home anyway.." She assured him but she couldn't help but noticed the disappointed look on his features and his reluctant attitude. "Go on, before he gets mad.. He looks a little crazy." She commented and he laughed at this, breaking him out of his disappointed slump.

"You're not wrong.." He replied, and followed Cate's movement as she rose to her feet. "Well.. I'll see you around, right?" he asked and Cate nodded.

"Of course.. Now go before he shouts at _me_ next.." Cate laughed and watched as Juice nodded before he turned and made his way away from her, towards the garage. However, her stopped and turned back to face her, walking backwards now.

"Bye Cate.. I'll call ya!" He shouted with a grin on his face before he turned back around, and from somewhere Cate swore she heard a wolf whistle. She rolled her eyes, still smiling, before turning around to make her way out of the compound herself. However, as she made her way out, she found herself having to step aside to make way for a cop car. She noticed Unser was driving, and then caught each other's gaze for a moment. A look of concern crossed his features but all she did was flash him a little smile before he drove past completely. She did wonder though, what he was doing at Teller-Morrow. Once she reached the exit, she turned slightly to look back over at the garage where she noticed Wayne getting out of his car, to be greeted by Clay, who grinned as he shook the Chief's hand. _Weird_. Cate stored it into the back of her mind, and left Teller-Morrow Automotive completely.


	13. Chapter 13

Here's a little update for you to tide you over for the next couple of days! I have some drama coming up soon.. the first hurdle in Hecate's Charming life and it was so good to write! It wont be for another couple of chapters but it'll be worth it :) Glad you're all still with me! I really appreciate the review's too and hearing whether or not you like the direction! Enjoy x

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CHAPTER 13

During Cate's walk home, she decided to take a different route to normal, opting to pass through the cemetery instead. It was peaceful, she noticed that each time she'd been in a cemetery, no matter which one it was. They were all the same. The dead weren't noisy. She found herself glancing at various headstones as she passed them, stopping every so often to look at some of the prettier ones, or when she saw a pretty old date. _'Loving father, dearly missed mother, sister of 5'_ The inscriptions jumped out at her as she passed them and she swallowed hard, beginning to feel a little tense.

Shortly after, she arrived at where she wanted to be, a military graveyard. She stopped at the entrance for a moment, composing herself and drawing in a deep breath before she advanced onward. She passed a sea of American flags and stunningly white headstones; however this one didn't seem as quiet as the other part she'd walked through to get there… It seemed louder. But to anybody else it was still peaceful. Ringing had begun to sound in her ears, sure it was quiet for now, but it was enough to fill her head with noise. Cate stopped once she reached her goal and stood in front of a head stone. _Stephen Phillips_. Her late uncle. As she stood there, the ringing in her ears began to get even louder and she made the mistake of closing her eyes. Once she'd closed them, she'd lost her internal battle.

 _BANG!_ _An explosion shook the area, figures ran in all directions, shouting at one another, screaming and crying. Shots fired repeatedly, catching some of the figures in their chests, arms, heads.. It was complete and utter chaos._

" _Cate we need you!" Came a voice from her side, which she ran to without delay, her head ducked in a feeble attempt to avoid any gunfire. When she got there, she looked down to see a man knelt over another man.. His intestines spilling out into his hands. Cate felt sick. "He's dead.." The man continued, looking up at Cate, his own face covered with another man's blood._

 _BANG! Another explosion followed by more gunfire. Cate's gaze fell upon the small home which had just been blown up, and through the dust she spotted figures running through the debris. Her heart stopped then.. There was a child, crying out for somebody, his poor little body covered in dust and blood. Cate ran then. It was like everything was moving in slow motion, her legs carrying her across the uneven surface. There was the sound of something whizzing through the air._

 _BANG! Cate was violently forced through the air._

A gasp broke her out of her daze; it was her own gasp for breath which had startled her. At some point she must have collapsed to her knees, as she was now kneeling in front of her Uncle's grave, her fingers curled in the short grass. She was breathing quickly, her heart racing in her chest and suddenly she had the urge to vomit. Not wanting to offend the memory of her Uncle, she quickly scrambled to her feet and dashed for a tree not far behind it. Once there, she keeled over at the waist and vomited. Once she was sure she was finished, she straightened up and groaned, reaching up to wipe the back of her hand over her mouth. Why did she think that coming here was such a great idea? There was a reason she didn't visit very often and this was why.

"You alright?" She heard someone ask and she quickly whipped around. She'd not noticed anybody before, but then again she hadn't been paying much attention during her little _episode_. Stood by a grave a few feet away from her was Jax, the blonde she'd been introduced to at Gemma's barbeque.. Gemma's _son_. Had he just seen her spill her guts? Wonderful.

"Oh.. Hey" she began after clearing her throat, which felt a little sore from her retching and the stomach acids she'd brought up with the contents of her stomach. "Yeah I'm fine.. I just.." She gestured with her thumb behind her, not really knowing what to say and drawing blanks when she tried to think of an excuse for what he'd just seen.

"It's OK.. You don't have to explain anythin' to me darlin'.." He told her as he moved closer, his hands tucked deep into the pockets of his jeans. "It never gets any easier, does it?" He added with a short laugh, glancing back over at the grave she'd just seen him at. Cate gave him a sad smile and shook her head.

"You're right." She agreed. If only he knew that her issues went even deeper than just missing her veteran uncle. Ross was right.. She was getting worse. It had been a while since she'd had an episode like that whilst she was awake; usually it just came to her in her nightmares. The thought concerned her slightly, made her feel a little uncomfortable.

"That your family?" He asked and she watched as he nodded over at the grave she'd been at before. So he _had_ seen her there. God she hoped he hadn't witnessed her episode.. She really, _really_ , hoped he hadn't.

"Uh.. Yeah, my uncle.." She answered quietly, crossing her arms beneath her bust. "You?" she asked, gesturing towards his own grave the same way he had with hers.

"My old man" He answered and for a moment, Cate felt sad for him. She knew what it was like to lose a parent.

"I'm sorry.." Cate told him quietly and he gave her a smile, waving his hand at her.

"Nah, don't worry about it.. It was a _long_ time ago." He assured her and she gave him another nod. It was silent then, as she wasn't sure what to say to him now. She was still distracted by what had happened to her just minutes before.

"I should probably head home.." She informed him

"I'm heading to my ma's if you want a ride?" He offered kindly, and she knew it was nothing more than that. Cate had planned on running home before, but after what had just happened, she felt quite unusual and a ride home would definitely be a better option.

"Are you sure? That would be really great.." Cate checked and he gave her a grin and gestured with a nod towards his bike.

"I'm sure. Come on." He told her and began to move away. Cate followed behind him. He'd parked quite close so it didn't take long to reach his bike at all. "Here ya go" He said whilst holding out his helmet towards her which she took in her hands.

"Don't _you_ have one?" she asked whilst popping the helmet onto her head and fastening it under her chin.

"That is my one.." He laughed. Cate smiled slightly, watching as he climbed onto his bike. She followed suit, climbing on behind him. However, it felt different to when she'd gotten onto Juice's bike. With Juice she wanted to curl herself around him and not let go, but with Jax she felt a little uncomfortable about being so close to the man, but he'd been kind enough to offer and she just wanted to get home. Instead of curling her arms around him, she simply reached between them and she held the edges of his leather vest, deciding to grip onto that instead. The engine roared to life and just like that, they were gone, leaving the cemetery behind them and Cate felt relieved to be out of there.

The ride was short and not long after leaving, they'd pulled up onto the street where both she and Gemma lived. And speak of the devil; she must've heard the engine, as the front door swung open whilst Jax pulled up onto the driveway. Cate noticed a look of surprise on her neighbours face and she knew why.. She was probably wondering what she was doing on the back of her sons bike. Once Jax had parked up and switched off the engine, Cate climbed off the bike and took off her helmet, handing it over to him once he was on his feet.

"Well this is a surprise, Doc." She heard Gemma say, and she turned around to see the woman stood on her front step, hands on her hips. She had a look on her face which suggested she wasn't best pleased and immediately Cate was aware that she probably had a totally wrong impression.

"I bumped into Jax at the cemetery.." Cate began, glancing towards the blonde before looking back up at Gemma. "He offered to give me a ride home.. To save me walking.. I wasn't feeling too good." She explained and watched as Gemma's eyebrow lifted in a questioning manner, a pout on her lips.

"Yeah Ma, she was sick _everywhere_.." Jax laughed and Cate felt herself sigh, a warmth spreading across her cheeks. How embarrassing.

"Is that right?" Gemma still had a questioning tone to her voice and Cate felt herself starting to get a little wound up. "Jax, do you mind checking that leaky pipe for me? I need to talk to Cate about somethin'.." She asked, looking over at her son. Cate groaned quietly before looking over at Jax and giving him a small smile.

"Thanks for the lift, Jax." She told him and he gave her a grin and a nod.

"No problem, doc." He replied before turning towards his mother and she watched as he entered the house, leaving herself and Gemma outside alone.

"You _sure_ that's what's going on here?" Gemma spoke quietly, a frown crossing her features as she stood in front of Cate, hands still on her hips. That was enough, Cate wasn't having this, not now, not today.

"I don't know what you're implying Gemma.. _Actually,_ I think I do know what you're implying.. But you're wrong." Cate's voice was firm as she corrected Gemma and her thoughts. "First of all, I don't have the hots for Jax.. I'm sorry, it's not that he isn't nice, he just isn't my type.. Secondly, the only reason I was on the back of his bike was because we _did_ bump into each other at the cemetery, and I _was_ sick. He was seeing his Dad and I was seeing my uncle.. For the first time in a while, actually, and I got a little overwhelmed. Lastly, I don't like you _suggesting_ I'm doing anything wrong.. I was literally with Juice a couple of hours ago for Christ sake, I'm not gonna be rubbing up on his friends any time soon." Cate finished, feeling a little flustered now from being annoyed. Gemma watched her for a few seconds in silence, before a grin tugged at the corners of her pouted lips.

"I'm impressed.." Gemma commented, reaching out to pat Cate's shoulder. Why was she impressed?

"Why?" Cate questioned, raising an eyebrow in a questioning manner, similar to how Gemma had done previously.

"Because you've got the balls to stand up to me, sweetheart.. Not many people do." She teased, giving Cate a proper smirk this time. "So.. You and Juice huh? All made up?" Gemma enquired, crossing her arms.

"Yeah.." Cate replied after a moment of silence, suddenly feeling a lot calmer now she'd got her little rant out of her system. She liked Gemma and she hoped their friendship would continue to blossom. "He came into the hospital yesterday with a cut on his arm, all sorry about what had happened.. Asked me to give him a second chance, so I did.." A small smile suddenly appeared on her lips as she remembered what had happened and how silly it all seemed. "So we went for something to eat last night and I popped into the garage to say hey for lunch.. And now here I am."

"Well.. I'm pleased you've got that all sorted and under control, honey.." Gemma replied. "If you're not busy tonight, you should come over for dinner.. We can get to know each other a little better, what do ya say?" She offered and Cate took a few seconds to think about it. She didn't have anything else better to do so she nodded her head before she even came out with her answer.

"Sure, that'd be great.." Cate agreed and Gemma grinned at her.

"Alright then, sweetheart. See you at 6." Gemma then departed towards her front door.

"See you later" Cate replied before turning on her heel and heading towards her own home. She knew she'd only spend the rest of her afternoon and evening at home stuck with her own thoughts, so perhaps it would be nice to get out and get to know Gemma a bit more. Her life was the living example of an 'emotional rollercoaster' and she hoped that this evening would keep her pleasantly distracted from her anxiety and episodes which always seemed to be lurking as she neared the anniversary of her accident. Only time would tell how long the distractions would continue to work, she imagined it wouldn't be for much longer.


	14. Chapter 14

Here you go! Dinner with Gemma! The next chapter is set to be a dramatic one and I don't think it's what you're gonna expect! Thanks as always for the continued support. Really appreciate the reviews, follows and fave's! Enjoy! x

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CHAPTER 14

Evening rolled around pretty quickly, and Cate had just finished getting ready to head over to Gemma's house for the dinner she'd invited her to. She'd gotten changed into a pair of dark blue jeans and a white scoop-neck t-shirt. She had decided not to dress up, since it was just a dinner with Gemma and nothing particularly special. After pulling her hair back into a ponytail, she'd left her bedroom and headed downstairs. In the back pocket of her jeans, she felt her phone vibrate as an alert tone sounded to inform her of an incoming text. She knew it would be Juice before she even looked, as they had been texting for most of the day.

 _J: so u up to much tonight?_

 _C: Just going for dinner. What about you?_

Cate sent her reply and tucked the phone back into her pocket. It was almost 6 o'clock, so she grabbed her house key and left her home, locking the door behind her. She was quite looking forward to getting to know Gemma some more, but she knew it wouldn't particularly go down that way.. Gem would probably have more questions for her than anything. Cate liked to think she was a pretty good sense of character and Gemma struck her as the inquisitive 'I need to know everything about everyone' type of person. Cate reached her neighbours front door and she rang the doorbell, pushing her fingers into the front pockets of her jeans. The door opened shortly after, where she was greeted by a smiling Gemma.

"Come in in, sweetheart." She invited and held the door open, allowing Cate entry to her home.

"Thank you.." Cate answered and stepped over the door frame. She heard the door shut behind her as she took a few steps further before coming to a stop, where she had a brief look at her surroundings. Sure, she'd been _through_ Gemma's house, but she'd never actually been in it long enough to properly look at it. "Your home is lovely, Gemma." She commented, admiring the warmth within the home, her gaze flickering over all the décor and photo frames adoring the surfaces.

"Thanks, doc.. Come on, this way." She heard Gemma say before she noticed her stepping in front of her to lead her into the dining room where there was a long dinner table. She'd never seen a table so big.. She'd only seen something like it in movies where the 'perfect families' sat to eat dinner together. "Take a seat, I'm just plating up.." Gemma told her, gesturing to a seat which Cate moved over to and pulled out. Slowly, she lowered herself down and pulled herself in before looking around at the room. It was huge and she could imagine it full of people and chatter during family get-togethers, something she'd not experienced in her own family. The table sat in front of the windows, she imagined that during the day the room was brightly lit. But now it was dark outside so the room was lit gently from lamps.

"I know it's pretty big, but it's _perfect_ for thanksgiving and family dinners." Gemma said and Cate turned her head to look at her and she walked over to the table, plates in hand. It was as if she'd read her mind.

"I can imagine.." Cate began with a smiling, watching as Gemma put the plate down in front of her and put her own down in front of where she'd be sat across from her. "Do you have a big family?" Cate thought she'd get in a question while she could. Gemma had retreated at that point and Cate could hear the clinking of glass against glass.

"Not big, no.. But all those boys down at TM are like family." She heard Gemma answer before she returned with a couple of glasses and a bottle of red wine which she poured.

"You're all pretty close, huh?" Cate asked, watching as Gemma finally took a seat opposite her, a small grin on the brunette's lips.

"Yeah, we're all close. But nothing gets between the bond those boys have.. They're all brothers." Gemma answered and Cate nodded briefly, swiftly lifting the glass to her lips to take a sip of the wine. She _needed_ it after the morning she'd had with Ross, but she wouldn't go out of her way to buy alcohol for herself.

"It must be nice to have so many people around.." Cate begun, going back to what she'd originally started speaking about. "We didn't really do things like that growing up." She finished before looking down at the food in front of her. It looked like meatloaf, with mashed potatoes and some vegetables. After picking up a fork, she began to eat.

"You never had a big family back home then?" Gemma asked and Cate shook her head, finishing a mouthful of food before speaking.

"No it was just my parents and my brother.. My Dad was an only child and my Ma just had a brother.. It was just us and even before Ma passed, we didn't really _do_ dinners.. My dad was always _working_ , Ma was always sad.." Cate explained with a small shrug of her shoulders, lifting her wine glass for another mouthful of the bitter, red liquid. She noticed Gemma looking over at her, her lips pressed together, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"So you're Stephen's niece then?" Gemma asked and Cate coughed as she swallowed her mouthful of wine awkwardly. It had taken her by surprise but then again, she shouldn't have been shocked.. Gemma _had_ been neighbour's with the man.

"Yeah.. Did you know him?" Cate asked quietly, lowering her gaze to her plate and she collected another fork of food, trying to seem disinterested. But inwardly she was keen to know if Gemma had known her uncle.

"Yeah, kinda.." Gemma began and Cate felt her stomach twist a little. "He was a _strange_ one." The statement made Cate laugh and she looked over at Gemma who was grinning. She wasn't wrong, her uncle had always been a little strange, but that's what had made him so amazing. "He used to talk about his niece and nephew a lot.. How proud he was of his military nephew.." As Gemma spoke, Cate felt a dull ache return in her heart and she sighed quietly, taking another sip from her glass. "..And the niece who he wanted to bring home and take care of." Cate listened and swallowed hard. Her uncle had always wanted to take her in after what had happened with her mum, but she'd had to go with her father until she was old enough to make her own decisions.

"Yeah.. He always told me about Charming and how much I'd like it.. I mean it's not _exactly_ all he made it out to be, but it's pretty close.." Cate said with a small laugh, trying not to feel sad and create a negative atmosphere.

"So.. He left you his house when he passed, I'm guessing? I mean.. I can't imagine why else you'd _want_ to move here.." Gem commented in a teasing tone of voice, a grin evident on her lips which made Cate smile in response.

"Yeah.. I didn't even know about it until this guy got in touch with me to tell me about his will after he'd died.. They said I coulda sold it but I wanted to come here and try it out and it ended up not being too bad. I got the job at the hospital.. I got my fresh start.. And I kinda feel like I'm living out his wishes of wanting me to be here." Cate explained before eating some more food.

"So you like it here, in little ol' Charming?" Her neighbour asked and she looked over at her, giving her a small smile and a slow nod of her head.

"I do.. I wasn't so sure to begin with but things are slowly starting to get better." Cate _did_ really think that things were getting better, and they were. She was getting on well at work; she'd befriended Gemma and now Juice. She just needed to get past her PTSD and the anniversary next week and she hoped that things would be _even_ better after that.

"I'm glad to hear it sweetheart.. You're not that bad to have around." Gemma said and Cate felt a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "I didn't know what to expect when Wayne told me about his friend's niece being new in town, but you're not half bad. I could have worse neighbours.. Gotta be some perks to having an ex combat medic, army girl around." Gemma joked, followed by a laugh. But Cate felt a little confused. First of all, Wayne had discussed her with Gemma? Why? Secondly, she hadn't old Gemma about the fact she'd been a combat medic. She remembered specifically that all she'd said was that she'd been training. Cate gave a quiet laugh, in response to Gemma's – deciding she didn't want to draw attention to the fact she'd been caught off guard. Had Juice told her? It was exactly what she didn't want.. Having Juice gossip about her with other people. However, she had just mentioned Wayne.. Wayne knew plenty about Cate, she considered him a close family friend because of her uncle. Plus.. she had seen Wayne at the garage _just_ this morning, shaking hands and smiling with Clay. Something didn't add up, but Cate simply pushed it to the back of her mind for now and lifted the glass to her mouth, finishing the last of its contents. Cate felt her phone buzz in her pocket followed by the sound and she sat upright, Gemma grinned and gave a small nod.  
"Don't mind me.." Gemma commented, sitting back in her seat with her glass of wine.

Cate cleared her throat and pulled her phone out, looking down to see she had a text from Juice in reply to the one she'd sent him earlier.

 _J: Dinner? With who?_

Cate felt her eyes roll a little. Was she sensing a little jealousy? It was hard to tell.

"Everything okay, sweetheart?" She heard Gemma ask and Cate looked over at her, smiling a little.

"Yeah.. It's just Juice asking who I'm having dinner with.." She replied through a laugh, reaching up to tuck a stray piece of black hair behind her ear. Gemma grinned.

"I see you and him are getting quite friendly.." Gemma commented. Cate sighed and shrugged her shoulders briefly.

"Exactly.. We're _friendly_.." she answered, since that's all that it was at the moment. Sure, he gave her the butterflies and thinking about his smile instantly wanted to make her smile. But she'd only seen him a couple of times. Sure, she'd be lying if she said she _didn't_ fancy him or wasn't attracted to him. But in that moment, now, they were friends who were just getting to know each other.

"Whatever you say, honey.." Gemma teased and Cate rolled her eyes in response before quickly typing out a reply. She didn't want to be rude or antisocial so she was quick and had almost forgotten what he'd even said to her. Gemma had distracted her with the 'friends' talk.

 _C: Can't talk right now_

Cate tucked her phone back into her pocket then and returned her attention to the middle aged woman across from her, who was still grinning a little behind her glass of wine.

"He's a sweet kid.. A little _dumb_.. But he's sweet." Gemma commented and Cate had to fight the urge to not break out into a massive, stupid smile. However, her cheeks did suddenly feel a little warmer.

"Yeah.. He is." She breathed, before placing her fork down, suggesting that she was now finished. "Gemma.. What are the Sons Of Anarchy?" Cate suddenly asked, since it was a question that had been bugging her since she'd noticed all of their matching jackets. She noticed the woman's eyebrows rise in response to her question.

"They're just a bunch of boys in a motorcycle club.. Harley enthusiasts by.." Gemma had begun but Cate quickly cut her off.

"By night and mechanics by day, right?" Cate teased with a grin. She'd heard the same thing now from 2 different people; Juice _and_ Clay. It was like it was their motto, or driven into their brains to be their first response to anybody who asked.

"That's right, sweetheart.." Gemma grinned.

"It's just.. My psychiatrist seems to have a negative opinion about them.." Cate began and suddenly realised she'd let slip about her psychiatrist, but she continued, hoping maybe it had gone amiss but she _knew_ Gemma would've picked up on it. "Said that they're menaces and that I shouldn't get involved with that.." Cate finished, watching Gemma intently, who was quiet for a moment.

"It's a small town, Cate.. Some people have nothing better to do than gossip.." Gemma answered quite firmly, but the small grin on her lips suggested that she wasn't upset with Cate for saying what she'd said. "People see men in matching kutte's on bikes and instantly assume _trouble.._ These boys do charity run's for Christ sake.." Gemma explained defensively and finished the last of her wine after she'd finished talking, before refilling their glasses with just a little more of the red wine.

"I didn't assume otherwise.. I was just curious, since I'm new and all. I don't listen to gossip.. I try and steer clear of all that." Cate explained, sitting back in her seat, glass of wine in hand so that she could drink from it freely.

"Psychiatrist, huh?" Gemma suddenly asked and Cate let out a quiet breath, reaching up to rub at the side of her neck awkwardly. "You a secret little loon, doc?" Gemma teased. Cate swallowed hard and shook her head. She knew Gemma meant no harm and was clearly joking, but it still panicked her slightly. She hated thinking that people might think of her as crazy if they ever knew. And now Gem knew, and would probably think she _was_ crazy.

"I developed PTSD after I got home.." Cate explained with a forced, small smile and once she finally got the courage to look over at Gemma, she was looking at directly back at her.

"Oh I'm sorry, sweetheart.." Gemma sighed and Cate just shook her head.

"It's fine.. I'm _fine.."_ She answered, waving Gem's comment off with her hand, before drinking another mouthful from her glass.

"Cate.. Honey.. What you guys do out there for us? That takes balls. Balls not a lot of people have. You must've seen some _awful_ shit out there.." Gemma paused to let out a sigh. "If you ever need anyone.. You call me, ok?" Her tone almost sounded demanding, which made Cate smile. She appreciated the gesture.

"Thanks Gemma." Cate responded.

They spent a little while longer talking and exchanging questions, getting to know each other a little better without _completely_ revealing themselves or any deep and personal information. But it had been nice to talk about things and keep distracted. It had been Cate that suggested she head home, it had been a while and she was due back at work the next morning. Gemma had agreed, stating that Clay would be home shortly. So now, Cate was back at home and in bed, where she had just settled and was preparing to get some sleep. She had noticed that she hadn't had any contact from Juice since earlier on in the evening, but she imagined he was just busy. Perhaps he was with Clay and the others, since Clay hadn't even returned home yet and she'd not heard his bike. Thinking no more of it, Cate rolled onto her side and closed her eyes, waiting for sleep to take her.


	15. Chapter 15

And here comes the dramaaaaaa. I've had this idea in mind since before I even began writing the others! I was listening to Crawling - Linkin Park.. to me it fits this scene and where Cate's head is at perfectly for me and just Cate in general. I hope you like it! x

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CHAPTER 15

A few days had passed since Cate's dinner with Gemma, and originally she'd felt pretty positive and happy about the direction in which her personal life was heading. However since then, she hadn't heard anything from Juice. He'd gone from them texting all day, to not hearing anything from him at all. She couldn't think of why either, but she'd tried not to get too caught up on it at first, deciding that if he wanted to talk to her, he would reach out and talk to her. However, a few more days had passed and she'd still hadn't heard anything. She'd been busy with work to begin with, so hadn't even had time to really check her phone, since she was on a string of long shifts in a row. But now that she had some time by herself, she noticed the absence of his electronic presence on her phone. It had been four days.. Four days since he'd messaged her last. He'd seemed so interested and then all of a sudden, _nothing_. What was worse, was that she'd texted him a couple of days back asking how he was, and he'd completely ignored it.

Cate had started to worry about him, wondering if maybe something had happened to him. But then, she'd briefly seen him on his bike on one of her drives home from work, but it had been such a quick glimpse that she wasn't even sure if he had noticed her in return. So, maybe he had lost his phone? She was trying to think of other options other than him ignoring her, since she couldn't think of why he'd want to do such a thing. But then, she'd stopped thinking about it all together. Maybe this was what he was like.. First, when he stood her up, and now with the ignoring her. Maybe he was just a jackass and had tricked her into thinking he was cool. She had other things to worry about.

Yesterday, Cate had phoned in sick to work, she hadn't slept a wink because her nightmares had suddenly returned and they had returned in _full_ force. She'd run out of her sleeping tablets and so she had just stayed awake all night. And then last night had been just as bad, so Cate had phoned in sick _again_. She was now sat on the edge of her bed where she had been for the last hour or so, chewing on her thumbnail, her leg bouncing up and down as she shook it. Her anxiety levels were through the roof, her heart felt as though it were constantly racing, and she felt like she couldn't quite take a proper breath. At first, she had wondered why her nightmares and anxiety had suddenly gotten so much worse, and then this morning, she'd remembered _exactly_ why. Tomorrow was the anniversary her psychiatrist had wanted her to prepare for.. The date she'd said she wasn't worried about and would be able to forget about it. Turns out, Ross had been right, it had snuck up on her.

Cate let out a shaky breath and pushed herself up to her feet with a noticeable wobble once she was up. She hadn't really eaten properly for a couple of days and she was aware that the lack of food combined with lack of sleep was really taking a toll on her body. She didn't even _want_ to look in a mirror, for fear of what she would see staring back at her and the way she looked was of little concern to her right now. Cate left her bedroom and made her way out into the hallway and down the stairs, which she took a lot slower than usual, her fingers curled around the edge of the wooden railing for support. The raven-haired woman winced as she walked, a little limp in her step. Her knee felt _extremely_ sore this morning, to the point where she was in quite a lot of discomfort from it.

A ringing broke through the silence of her home and made her jump and spin around towards the source of the noise. It was just her phone. She would've laughed at the reaction on a normal day, but instead she just swallowed and walked over to her phone which was sat on the coffee table in her living room. It was Ross, calling her for the second time that day. She didn't want to answer; in fact, she didn't want to look at her phone at all anymore. So she just popped in on silent once he'd stopped ringing and tossed it over onto her sofa, before retreating back into her kitchen. Cate grabbed a glass and moved over to her sink where she turned on the cold water tap. She looked down at the running water, staring at the quick flow of liquid.

" _Oh god, this water is absolute heaven!" A man groaned from beside her, guzzling water from his flask like a man possessed. She laughed at him, wiping the back of her hand across her wet mouth, since she'd just had her own taste of the liquid herself._

" _Right? Who knew water could taste so amazing." She replied, taking the flask back from him as he held it back to her, and she lifted it straight to her mouth again, drinking some more._

" _Drink up, guys. We gotta keep moving.." Another spoke from behind her and she stopped drinking, passing the flask back to the other man._

" _How long until we gotta be at the rendezvous, Clarke?" Cate asked, her eyes squinting in the sunlight as she looked over at him._

" _We've got about 3 hours to go, but we'll be there in 2 and a quarter." He said with a grin, shifting his automatic weapon up into a better grip._

Cate suddenly snapped back to reality and remembered what she was doing. She reached out her glass and filled it up before turning the tap back off. She drank a little before lowering it, her gaze falling on the view of her back garden out the window in front of her. She stared for a little while longer, before popping the glass down onto the counter and wiping her wet hand against the material of her shorts. It had been happening more frequently where she'd randomly slip into a memory from that day, and it was beginning to worry her and make her increasingly more anxious. None of this was normal and she was scared, she didn't know what to expect.. None of this had happened to this magnitude before.

Cate let out a shaky breath before making her way back into her living room where she dropped down onto the sofa. She lay down across it, resting her head on one of the cushions and almost instantly, she was taken over by a feeling of complete exhaustion. She was so _very_ tired, from having no sleep for the last 2 nights. And the fact she was experiencing high levels of anxiety was exhausting too, since her heart was consistently racing, and her body was working hard to keep her going, despite a lack of food. She'd tried to eat but the last thing she ate ended up being vomited back up shortly after into the toilet. Cate grew sleepier and sleepier as she lay there on the sofa, and before she knew it, she'd closed her eyes and was falling asleep.

A ringing by her ear grew increasingly louder and whilst half asleep, she reached for the item and brought it up to her ear.

"Mmm.. Hello?" She spoke in a heavily tired voice.

"Oh Hecate, thank _God_!" She heard Ross' worried voice through the ear piece which suddenly woke her up and she hung up quickly without even thinking about what she was doing. Cate shoved her phone back down and sat up and the sleepy, groggy feeling had quickly passed and now she felt anxious again, her heart thudding to the point where she felt as though she could hear it.

"Fuck, you gotta get a grip, Cate." She hissed to herself, bringing up her hands to rub her eyes and over her face. She dropped her hands down into her lap and looked up at the clock. It was 5 o'clock. She'd managed to sleep for about three hours, and Ross' phone call had woken her up from a peaceful sleep. Her first peaceful sleep in days. It was quite an unsettling thought, which worried Cate slightly.. Why hadn't she had any nightmares during her nap? Cate's knee began to throb again and she groaned, reaching down to rub the area. She really needed to do something to ease the pain, but she didn't want to take her strong pain killers. A thought came to her then and she pulled her dry bottom lip between her teeth, chewing on it.

Cate pushed herself up from her feet and made her way out into the kitchen. She crouched down awkwardly in front of a cupboard, her knee screaming in protest due to the bend. Once she steadied herself, she opened the cupboard and pushed some unnecessary items to the edge and there it was. Cate grabbed it and rose to her feet, kicking the cupboard shut with her foot. In her hands she held a bottle of unopened whiskey, left behind by her uncle. She'd hidden it away, never being much of a drinker after her issues with alcohol before. Sure she had thought about chucking it out completely, but she thought she'd put it away in case an event ever arose where she might need it. She hadn't expected it would ever be for _this_ though. She sighed, looking at the bottle, contemplating her decision, before she twisted the cap open.  
"Fuck it" she breathed to herself, grabbing a glass from another cupboard before pouring some of the whiskey into it. She popped the bottle down heavily and lifted the glass to her mouth, tipping it back and swallowing down the liquid with just a few mouthfuls. She closed her eyes and let out a satisfied breath as it ran down her throat, filling it with familiar warmth. This could only end badly but she was too focused on trying to numb the pain in her knee and the thoughts in her mind. In seconds, she had opened her eyes and was pouring herself another glass, which she finished quickly again. And then another. And another.

Cate wandered upstairs and into her bedroom, carrying the whiskey bottle and glass with her in her hand. Once she'd entered her bedroom, she popped the bottle down onto her set of draws but kept hold of her full glass. The pain in her knee was now a lot less intense and she was pleased with the effects of the whiskey, her head was also a little quieter for now, however a gentle buzz was present in her ears. A sparkle from her bedside cabinet caught her attention and she wandered over, picking up the dog tags she kept there. Almost immediately after picking them up she felt a pain in her chest and her stomach tightened. Cate felt emotional and her eyes began to tingle as though she might cry. With a sudden burst of anger, she tossed the tags across the room where they hit the wall and then dropped down to the ground. She let out a sob but it changed and she ended up laughing. If anybody saw her, they would think that she _was_ crazy. Which was ironic considering she'd always been so desperate to make people see that she wasn't crazy and that she'd just been through an exceptionally traumatic experience. Cate's laughter slowly died out until she was silent and just stood there, staring down at the tags. She swiftly lifted the glass to her mouth and shot back the contents in just another couple of mouthfuls.

She returned to her draws where she placed down her cup and filled it back up, placing the bottle down when she was done. At this point, her arms were starting to feel a little tingly and heavy but she paid no attention to it. Cate grabbed her glass and turned around to her wardrobe which she walked over to and opened up. She grabbed a small cardboard box from a shelf, which weighed practically nothing, and she carried it under her arm to her bed. She popped it down and pulled the lid off, looking down at the contents within it. She sat next to it and began to rummage through it, she pulled out a pictured and flipped it over, her breath catching in her throat. It was a picture of her in her army gear, along with 6 other men. All their faces stared back at her, and she could remember each one so perfectly.

" _Oh, come on, Cate.. Admit it, you've thought about me naked." Ron teased, nudging her in the side with his elbow._

" _Cut it out man, we all know it's me who's a hit with the ladies." Marcus grinned, ruffling Ron's hair with his hand. They all broke out into laughter, Cate included._

Cate felt herself smile weakly and she noticed a drop of water land on the picture. She reached up to her eyes and wiped beneath them. It had been one of her own tears, she hadn't even realised she'd started to cry until now. She sniffled and put the photo down beside her with a shaky hand.

"I'm sorry.." she whispered down at it, before lifting the glass to her lips, taking a quick mouthful before she returned her gaze to the box. She reached in and wrapped her hands around something, pulling it out to rest on her lap. It was her glock, kept there for safe storage. She'd hidden it away with the rest of her triggering object. Slowly, she observed the gun, tightening her fingers around it. She hadn't held a gun in a _long_ time.. It felt heavier than it used to. Once she was done looking at it, she tilted back her glass and finished her sixth one. Had she been with it, she'd of known that it was starting to get too much – especially since she'd not really eaten properly for a while. But sensible Cate wasn't at home right now.

The sound of footsteps captured Cate's undivided attention and she was suddenly still, breathing slowly in an attempt to remain quite, her ears trained in on the sound. Perhaps she had just imagined it? It was silent. But then she heard it again. Cate put her glass down and reached for the glock which she'd put on the bed beside her with the photo. She checked it was loaded, which it _still_ was, before she quickly pushed herself to her feet. She wobbled instantly and it took her a second to gain her balance. Cate slowly walked towards her open bedroom door, trying her best to tread gently but she still had a little wobble in her step and her head felt all fuzzy. She stood in the doorway, holding her gun by her chest as she peered out and looked out in both directions of her doorway. She heard it again, from downstairs. Cate quietly stepped out and creeped down the stairs, her bare feet felt as though they were sticking to the wooden flooring since they were all clammy.

Cate reached the bottom and she turned into her living room, gun out in front of her with one, swaying hand, the other reaching for furniture in an attempt to keep her steady. She'd noticed now, how wobbly she actually felt. Her vision wasn't blurry but it seemed as though there was a delay in what she was seeing, as if time was dragging. She noticed something shoot out across the hallway from room to room and she gasped, but couldn't be sure if she'd seen it or not.

"You're trespassing on private property.." she spoke out loudly but her voice seemed quite slurred. "I'm armed and I _will_ shoot you." she finished, her finger hovering over the trigger as she advanced forward, her left hand trailing over the back of the sofa.

"Why didn't you save us, Cate?" A voice sounded from behind her and she spun around quickly to see the figure of her army pal Ron, dressed in his gear, shredded and burnt. His face was bloody, left arm missing. Cate suddenly felt as if the world had just swallowed her up whole, she felt sick to the stomach. She quickly squeezed her eyes shut and when she opened them, he was gone. What was happening?

"Why did you get to survive?" Another voice, only this time when she looked around, she couldn't see anybody.

"I didn't _want_ that.." she choked out, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with emotion. "I tried.." she added and felt a tear roll down her cheek.

"You didn't try.." A voice spoke and she looked over to see a figure stood by her front door, in army gear like Ron had been, his abdomen gaping open, intestines hanging from within it. Cate suddenly felt a bubble roll up from her stomach and within seconds, she keeled over and threw up on the ground.

"You were already dead.. I-I couldn't do anything.." she sobbed, her throat sore from the vomit. "Please stop" she choked out with a sob, lifting her head to see that there were now 2 men stood across from her with the other one, all with their own injuries.

"We're dead and rotting, and you're wasting a life away.. A life we could've had." A voice sounded and she wasn't even sure if it was from in the room anymore, it sounded as if it were directly in her head.

"Stop.." She pleaded, tears streaming from her eyes.

"You should've died with us." A male voice sounded, even louder this time as if someone had turned up the volume. The room felt as though it was now spinning and she felt even more unsteady than before. "You should be dead.. You should just die.. Do it now and make up for it.. Make the world right again." Cate lifted her hands and covered her ears as best as she could whilst holding the gun in her right hand, as the voices continued making vicious statements, repeating them over, and over, and over again. It got louder and louder and the room span quicker and quicker. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to block out all of her senses, wanting it all to go away.

 _BANG! BANG! BANG!_ "STOP IT!"She'd fired three shots, one after the other, at each of the figures that had been stood there. They were gone and all that was left behind were three bullet holes in the wall. Cate stood there, her arm still extended with her gun in hand, her hand trembling as she held it. It was deadly silent until the sound of sobs broke through it. Cate dropped to her knees and sobbed, as if it was all she lived for.

Cate was sobbing. Sobs full of all of the sadness in the world. She had dropped the gun now and had lifted her hands up to her face, crying into the palms of her hands. Even when she'd completely lost it, it was still as if she were trying to hide the fact that she was crying. It had only been a couple of minutes since she'd fired her shots and she hadn't stopped sobbing since. However, a series of bangs at her door shut her up immediately. Her hand had quickly reached for the gun, which she hurriedly aimed towards the door from her position on the floor.

"CATE!" She heard Gemma yell from the other side of the door and she lowered her head, letting out a shaky, quiet breath whilst lowering her hand. The banging continued. "Cate, are you in there?!" The woman continued. She'd clearly heard the gun go off and had come to investigate. Cate was in no position to comprehend what was going on. She slowly pushed herself up to her feet on wobbly legs. "Oh my god.. Cate!" She heard Gemma continue from the front door, but the banging had stopped at this point. Cate stood there quietly for a moment, glad that her blinds were pulled so that nobody could peer in at her. Her phone began to ring from the sofa and she closed her eyes, a tear trickling down from the corner of her eye. She didn't bother to look, she ignored it and she quietly crept across the living room and up the stairs. Gemma hadn't shouted again and she didn't care to think of what she was doing now.

Once Cate reached her bedroom, she supported herself in the doorway, the fingers of her left hand curled around the doorframe. She spotted the bottle and glass on her drawers and she made her way over, she reached out and grabbed the bottle, not even bothering with the glass anymore. The figures and voices were gone for now, she hoped it was permanent but that would be far too easy. So if they weren't going to go away, she'd drink herself into an alcohol-induced slumber. They'd stop then, wouldn't they? Cate sniffled and reached up, wiping her wet nose and cheeks dry with the back of her sleeve. She then moved over to her bed and slid down onto the floor, resting her back against the edge of it, stretching her legs out in front of her. She'd decided to face the door, watching and waiting.

Cate reached behind her, patting the bed until she felt the picture beneath her fingers which she pulled down and popped down on the floor beside her. She looked down at it and their faces, happy and smiling. Hers was full of freckles and life. Army life had been tough but she'd also had some of the best and happiest times of her life out there with her squad. She suddenly felt sad again, so she looked away from it and brought the bottle to her lips, taking a few large swigs from it before popping it back down beside her. In her other hand she still held her gun, but rested it on her lap. She could still hear her phone ringing downstairs, but it stopped not long after and then she was left in silence. From her open window, she could hear Gemma talking outside, but paid little attention to it. Her bedroom was dimly lit now, from the fast setting sun outside. She took another swig from the bottle and closed her eyes, but when she opened them, her eyes fell upon a small figure in the doorway and instantly, she felt her heart break.

Out of all of her dreams and her memories, this was the one she dreaded the most. She rarely dreamt of him, which she always found quite odd as it _was_ the most traumatizing for her. Out from the shadows of her doorway stepped a little boy with tanned skin, he must have been about 6 years old. Cate's breath caught in her throat and came out as a pained sob.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't save you.." She whispered through a quiet cry. "I tried.. I was gonna get you but then.. The explosion." She recalled, lowering her head as a sob racked through her body. The little figure just stood there, flickering as if it were a hologram. "You were so little.. I'm so sorry." She lowered her head and cried. After a few moments, she looked back up to see that he was gone but she couldn't feel relieved, she was too distraught. In her head, she kept seeing all of the things she'd been seeing in her dreams in the lead up to this day, could hear the voices from before telling her that she should've died with them. And they were right. She'd always wondered why she had been the one to survive, why didn't she die with the rest of them?

Cate was starting to feel heavier now and sleepy, she knew her eyes were puffy because they felt tight and it was harder to keep her eyes open. She whimpered and dropped the gun to the floor, choosing to hold the whiskey bottle between both hands, which she then lifted and she began to drink from. She drank from it the same way she'd drank from that flask of water from her memory before, as if it were the last thing on earth. She didn't finish it though, she dropped it down when she was done with it, not caring that it had fallen onto its side and was likely spilling out over her carpet. She leant back against the edge of the bed, rolling her head back to rest on the edge of the mattress. Her crying seized as tiredness took over, and with the room still spinning, she slipped into that much anticipated slumber.


	16. Chapter 16

I wanted to wait but I couldn't! So here's what happens next..

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CHAPTER 16

The feeling of her body shaken brought Cate slowly back to reality. Everything was groggy, she felt numb, her body felt heavy and it felt as though her ears were blocked. She hadn't opened her eyes yet but she felt _so_ tired, so she groaned quietly but the shaking of her body continued. She groaned again. Why was she shaking so much? Suddenly, she felt the lump in her throat and it felt as if it were choking her. It was then she was aware of the movement of her being moved onto her side, she could feel her arm trapped beneath her. Seconds later, she felt herself throw up, it burnt her throat and she noticed that she was struggling to catch a breath. But once it was out, she managed to draw in a deep breath. Her ears were still ringing loudly to the point where she couldn't hear much else. What was happening?

Slowly, Cate tried to pry her eyelids open and she found it quite difficult as they felt _so_ heavy, but she managed. It was all a bit of a blur at first, she could just about make out some shapes in front of her. She heard something being mumbled, a man's voice, but she couldn't quite hear as her ears were still ringing. But it was quickly starting to fade, as if now she was awake; all of her senses were starting to come back to her.

"Cate?" She could make out a woman saying. "Cate?" It became clearer this time. What was she doing with Gemma? "Are you with us, sweetheart?" She heard. Wow, something bad really had happened. Cate managed to groan in response but not much else, she felt incredibly dizzy, almost as if she were drunk. _Oh_. Suddenly she remembered what had happened.

"Cate, you gotta try and wake up." Juice said. Hang on, Juice? Juice was there? She felt herself frown and she closed her eyes tightly before opening them again, this time she could see a lot clearer. Gemma was at her side, looking down at her. And when she glanced upwards, she was met with Juice's concerned and flustered upside down face, looking down at her.

"You're upside down.." she managed to croak although she instantly winced at how sore and scratchy her throat felt. She heard him make a short laugh, but that was it.

"Sweetheart, I think we should get you to the hospital." She heard Gemma say and instantly Cate felt herself panic. She shook her head which was a bad move because it just made the room feel as if it were spinning again, and then she tried to sit up and fortunately, she felt Juice helping her by supporting her shoulders.

"No.. No hospital.. I'll be OK. " Cate answered firmly. She couldn't have her colleagues at work see her like this, no way. She often treated people in the ER in similar shape as her, she took pity on them.. she wouldn't be that person. However, once she was sat up right, she suddenly felt her stomach flip and twisted to the side and threw up without any warning. It had come from nowhere. The smell was awful and it burnt her throat.

"Juice, help me get her to the bathroom." Gemma spoke and Cate then felt someone's arms slip beneath her arm pits.

"Come on, doc.. Let's get up, yeah?" Juice spoke into her ear and all Cate could manage was a grumble. She felt _awful_. She tried to push up with her feet when Juice tried to pull her up, but she knew she wasn't being much help. She felt weak and heavy, there was no way she could walk anywhere. But before she could even tell them that, she felt an arm slip beneath her knees, the other behind her back and she was being lifted from the ground. To stop herself from falling, she wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to stop her head from lolling back as she knew it would make her feel motion sick. She was aware that she probably smelt of vomit.

"I'm sorry." She grumbled into his shoulder, holding onto him tightly as he walked. Her eyes were shut at this point as she focused on _not_ throwing up on Juice.

"Alright.. We're gonna have a nice _cold_ shower okay?" She heard Gemma say from somewhere before the sound of the running shower followed. "I don't know how we're gonna do this.." She heard Gemma groan in frustration and Cate felt herself starting to feel quite guilty. She hadn't asked them to do any of this; she knew they probably had better things to be doing.

"Don't worry about it.." She heard Juice say, his voice a lot louder than Gem's and she could feel it vibrate in his chest which her head was resting against. She felt the corners of her mouth tug up slightly. Seconds later she gasped and tensed as cold water began to wash over her body, shocking her system. She hadn't even been put down. And that was when she realised that Juice had carried her into the shower, _still_ holding her. As if he felt her tense at the cold water, she felt him tighten his hold on her and pull her tighter to him. Cate suddenly felt overwhelmed by his kindness and with everything else that had happened, she didn't quite have a reign on her emotions.

"I'm so sorry.." she breathed quietly with a shaky voice for him to hear, her fingers squeezing his shoulder. "You shouldn't have to do this." She added quietly, feeling embarrassed.

"Hey.. It's OK. Let's get you sobered up, huh?" She heard him say in response and she nodded her head. "I'm gonna sit us down alright?" Cate nodded again and she then felt him moving, he was probably struggling but he managed it as she felt his legs straighten out beneath her. She was now sat on his lap. Fortunately, her uncle had a walk in shower installed due to the fact that he struggled with stepping over and into things.

"I'll get some clean clothes.." She heard Gemma say before hearing the door close. In fact, she'd totally forgotten that Gemma had even been there and she almost felt a little embarrassed.

"Are you OK, doc?" she heard Juice ask and she finally opened her eyes, she looked up at him then to see him staring down at her, water dripping down his face. Slowly, she shook her head and she felt her lips tug into a small frown.

"I'm not ok.. Right now, I don't think I ever will be.." she told him with a wobbly voice. He frowned and lifted a hand to the side of her face, sweeping his thumb beneath her eye. He was so compassionate and so kind, she hadn't known him long but she just _knew_ he had one of the biggest hearts. Cate tried to give him a smile but she failed and a sob caught her off guard and it was all it took to break her down again. Juice pulled her face into his shoulder and he held her there as she cried into his chest. And that's where they stayed.

Not long after, she'd crawled off of Juice's lap and onto the floor of the shower so that he could leave. Gemma had asked that he get out whilst she helped Cate get changed. He'd turned the shower off on his way out, not wanting her to get any more cold; she'd smiled a little at the gesture.

"Come on, sweetheart. Time to get up." Gemma prompted and Cate sighed. She reached with a trembling hand to the little hand rail on the side; which her uncle had clearly used for support when he'd been there. She pulled herself up and stood there for a second, trying to steady herself. The room wasn't spinning so much now, she was sure that the copious amounts of vomiting had helped with that. "Come on.." Gemma added, reaching a hand out towards her. Cate took her hand and walked out of the shower, onto the dry shower mat. Gemma wrapped a warm towel around her before she had the chance to shiver. "We gotta get you out of those wet clothes, ok?" she heard her say, and Cate nodded her head. She felt so embarrassed at how helpless she seemed. But she would do as much as she could; she knew that for a fact.

"I think I can do it Gemma.. Can you just stand there, just in case?" she asked quietly and watched as Gemma gave her a nod. She turned her back to give her some 'privacy'. It was a bit of a struggle and she almost lost her footing a few times, but she managed to get herself changed by herself. "Ok, I'm done.." she told Gemma, who turned to face her, giving her a small smile. Gemma reached out and wrapped a towel around her shoulders, likely for her hair. "Thank you."

"Alright, let's get out of here.." Cate watched as Gemma opened the door, revealing a very wet Juice stood right on the other side of it. Cate would've laughed if the situation had been different, but she knew why he looked that way and she felt bad.

"I have some of my brothers stuff you can use?" Cate asked, aware that her voice still sounded a little slurred and also quite rough from her raw her throat felt. She was still feeling the effects of the whiskey but she'd sobered up mentally now, after all of that.

"Yeah.. That'd be cool, thanks.." Juice nodded and Cate looked back at Gemma who gave her a little smirk.

"I'll go wait downstairs.. And _then_ you can come with me to get some food in you." Gemma teased, poking a finger towards Cate before she descended down the staircase, leaving Juice and Cate together at the top of it.

"Uh, this way.." Cate said and then headed for her bedroom. Once she stepped into it she was met with the smell of cleaning products with an undertone of whiskey and vomit, which made her stomach twist. Clearly Gemma had cleaned up whilst she and Juice had been in the bathroom. She looked down at the carpet to see some large wet patches at the foot of the bed.

"You were on your back when we found you.. You were.. uh, you were choking on your vomit." She heard Juice say quietly, as if he'd noticed her staring down at the area where she'd clearly been found. Cate felt mortified. She lifted her hands up and covered her face with them, not quite sure how to react. She'd started aspirating on her vomit? How stupid could she be? This was the type of thing she'd treat at the emergency room and feel pity for them. She then heard movement and felt Juice's hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't contact you.. I feel _so_ bad.. When you said you were out, I thought you were on a date or somethin'. Gem only told last night that you'd been at dinner with her.. I tried callin' but you didn't pick up. Thought you hated me.." He explained. Oh _God_. One of the calls she'd ignored last night must've been from him. She thought it was Ross trying to get in touch and she hadn't even bothered to look at her missed calls at all. "I didn't realise you were.. That you were havin' a bad time.." He added sadly and Cate shook her head and lowered her hands to cross her arms around her and then turned around to face him.

"You don't need to feel bad about anything, Juice. This was going to happen on way or another.. Ross kept warning me, but I didn't listen. I just pushed it aside and locked it away hoping it wouldn't come knocking." She explained. "I'm sorry you had to see this.. I'm so embarrassed." She added quietly before turning back around and moving over to her drawers where she reached in to retrieve the items.

"Don't be embarrassed, Cate.." She heard him say from behind her and she would've laughed if she had the energy to. "You're sufferin' with a real thing here.. I wanna help." He continued and Cate bit on the inside of her lip, trying to stop herself from feeling sad by inflicting some sort of pain on herself. Cate retrieved a men's pair of tracksuit bottoms and a plain shirt. She turned around to face him, clothes in hand.

"I don't know if I can be helped.." She told him sadly, forcing a small smile onto her lips as she held the clothes out towards him. He made a face and stepped towards her, taking the clothes, but still looked down at her.

"Of course you can, if anyone deserves to be helped, it's _you_. You help people for a livin', you're sufferin' now _because_ you helped people. I'm gonna help you through this, Cate. I want you to let me." He said whilst starting down at her through intense eyes. Cate swallowed hard.

"You barely even know me.." she told him quietly, almost as if she sounded defeated.

"But I'm gonna get to know ya.. I'm gonna wanna know so much that you're gonna hate me for it." He answered through a grin. Cate smiled at this and let out her first, small laugh of the evening.

"Fine.." She told him with a dramatic roll of her eyes before she looked over at the scene where she was found, before slowly looking back towards him. "How about we start with the most difficult thing to know about me?" He looked confused for a second. "Remember when you asked about my knee? And I said to save it for another time? Why don't you ask again?" She told him quietly. She thought that if he wanted to get to know her, why not get the _worst_ thing out of the way first? Then she wouldn't have to deal with it later.

"You don't have to do this, Cate.." He'd obviously caught on with what she was doing. She shook her head at him.

"No, I _need_ to.. Now ask." She told him and watched his face as he looked down at her. She'd found just a slither of strength and she wanted to use it to tell him about _why_ she wS so messed up and riddled with guilt.

"What happened to your knee?" he asked.

"We were out, making our way to a rendezvous with another team.. And we passed this _tiny_ little village; barely twenty people even lived there. We stopped for a water break but the enemy had spotted us and they attacked us. We weren't expecting it. It was a _nightmare_. There were bombs going off everywhere, grenades, gunfire.. The whole lot. We fought back, but my job is to help the injured, right? There were bodies everywhere.. The locals, the enemies.. My _friends_." She paused for a moment to draw in a shaky breath; and she looked up to see Juice watching her, paying close attention to her words. "I've never seen so much death.. so much _blood_.. I got called over to a man who'd stomach had just been.. It was everywhere.. He was dead. And then.. Through the madness of everything I see a little boy.." Her voice broke then and she felt Juice's hand wrap around her own, squeezing it. "He was so little.. And so scared.." she paused again, closing her eyes, but a squeeze of Juice's hand around hers brought her back to reality again. "I ran to him.. To try and protect him.. I mean, my job was to help the injured but I couldn't just _leave_ him.. I was almost there and then _bang_.." she stopped and looked up at him, sadness in his expression much like it was in hers. "I don't remember much after that.. All I can remember is pain.. I saw him though, the kid. He looked like he was sleeping.." Juice drew her into his chest at that point and she had another little cry. She wasn't sure how long she stood there with him, but shortly after she stopped crying and she pulled back.

"You should go and change.. Before Gemma gets mad at us." She joked lightly, forcing a small smile onto her lips. Juice looked down at her and nodded, returning her smile. "I'll go and wait with her." She left the room then and was surprised to bump into Gemma who was stood at the top of the stairs, a look of sadness in her eyes.

"How much did you hear?" she asked quietly, looking down at the ground.

"Enough.." Gemma answered and Cate sighed before looking back towards her.

"I was gonna tell you too, I ju-." Cate began.

"I know, sweetheart. I know. He's a _sweet_ kid.." Gemma finished quietly as if it were just for Cate's ears. It made her smile a little, but not completely – she wasn't in a smiley mood, surprisingly. "Come on, let's go wait downstairs." She gestured before walking back down the stairs. Cate looked over her shoulder, listening to Juice move around in her bedroom, before she made her way down the stairs. Suddenly, she felt glad that she _finally_ had a support system, one that she could hopefully channel some strength from. One that had quite literally saved her life.


	17. Chapter 17

Hi all! Here's a little update for you. Funnily enough, my last couple of chapters ere my best ones but seem to have the least views! I hope you liked them? Thanks for all of those who reviewed. Your support means so much and the reviews really inspire me to write more :) Enjoy! x

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CHAPTER 17

Gemma had decided that Cate should go with her for some food at one of the only places that was still open, considering it was quite late now. They'd ended up at a diner, where Gemma had driven them to since Cate knew she was in no state to drive. The ride had been quiet but thankfully it had only been a short one. Once they arrived, Cate stepped out of the car and had to rest a hand against it to support herself as she was suddenly overcome with some light-headedness.

"Hey, you ok?" She heard Juice say from behind her. He must've arrived before them, since she hadn't heard the engine of his bike. Cate turned her head to face him and gave him a little smile, nodding her head.

"I'm fine.. Just feel a little queasy. I'll be better once I've had something to eat." She explained and he flashed a small smile in return. Cate pushed away from the car then, and they all made their way into the quiet diner. They sat in a booth where Cate slipped in first so she could be by the window and Gemma sat across from her, leaving Juice to decide whether he sat next to Gemma, or next to Cate. She'd been looking out of the window when she felt movement beside her, and she turned her head to see Juice sat next to her.

"Sweet Jesus, I hate this place.." Gemma spoke from across the table and Cate looked over at her, feeling herself frown.

"Then why are we here?" She asked quietly.

"Because _you_ need to eat something and I ain't cookin', sweetheart." Gemma responded and Cate had to fight the urge to roll her eyes. As caring as Gemma could be, she still didn't lose the ability to sound like a bitch.

"What can I get for ya?" A waitress asked from the edge of the table. Cate hadn't even looked at the menu, she wasn't too fussed about the choices, and she knew what she'd have, wherever she went.

"Cheeseburger and fries please.. With a glass of water.." Cate decided against a fizzy drink with how she was feeling, hell, she didn't even know if she'd be able to eat much with how awful her stomach felt. She knew she'd soon develop a hangover from hell.

"I'll have the same but with a Coke." Juice spoke from beside her and she felt herself smile a little. It was the exact same thing as he'd ordered from their dinner almost a week ago. Perhaps he was the same as her, always liked the same thing. When the waitress looked at Gemma she waved her hand.

"Just a coffee." The woman stated and the waitress took the menus before leaving the table completely. It was quiet then, and Cate (who was chewing on her bottom lip) was starting to feel a little awkward.

"So.. Thank you for tonight.." She began, breaking the silence between them. "I'd probably be dead.. or _dying.._ If you hadn't found me" She spoke quietly, still pretty embarrassed and kind of ashamed that they'd had to find her like that.

"Sweetheart, when I heard those gunshots.. I thought you were _already_ dead." Gemma replied and Cate felt even worse. "You're lucky I was home unloading the groceries.." She continued and Cate sighed quietly. All she wanted to do was to curl up and be sucked into a black hole. As if he'd read her thoughts, she felt a hand on her knee and it gave a little squeeze before it removed itself. She glanced sideways at Juice, who was giving her a small smile. It was a reassuring gesture and it helped a little.

"Yeah.. Lucky." Cate responded bluntly, looking over at Gemma, her lips pressed together as she sat back in her seat, resting her hands on her lap. "How'd you get in anyway?" she questioned and watched as Gemma grinned and looked towards the man next to her.

"I ended up calling Juice-boy, here.. To come and help me.." Gemma answered, her gaze falling back on Cate, who was still watching her. "Kicked that door in like nothin' I've ever seen before.." Cate felt herself move her hands together so she could fiddle with her fingertips in a nervous gesture. She remembered noticing that the lock on her door looked broken, apparently as a result of Juice kicking it in. "So you might wanna look at getting that fixed, sweetheart."

"Yeah.. Sorry about that, Cate.. There was no other way of gettin' in.." Juice added and she glanced sideways at him. He did look really bad, but he'd had no other choice and she understood that. She wondered though, why Gemma had decided to call Juice instead of the police.

"It's fine.. It doesn't matter. If you hadn't I'd of choked to death, right?" Cate responded quietly, looking down at the surface of the table. How could she have been so stupid, so reckless?

"Yeah.." Juice added solemnly from beside her. Fortunately, the waitress brought the food over at that point, saving them from anymore awkward silence. Just as she was about to tuck in, she found herself looking towards Gemma as her phone rang.

"I'm gonna step outside and get this, I'll be back in a minute.." Gemma smiled and shuffled out of the booth, answering her phone as she departed from the diner, leaving Juice and Cate alone. Cate kept her eyes on her plate and slowly began to pick at her chips, popping one into her mouth and slowly chewing on it.

"I'm _so_ embarrassed.." She finally said quietly after struggling to swallow the chip she'd been chewing on. She couldn't even bring herself to look at Juice now that they were alone.

"Why?" Juice asked from her side.

"I just.. I didn't plan on _that_ happening.. I just wanted to go to sleep.. I didn't want to aspirate on my own vomit.." She sounded a little angry now, and she was. She was angry at herself for allowing herself to get into that state. But at the time, it had felt like the right thing to do.

"Hey, I know that.." Juice said and she heard him shuffle beside her. A look towards him revealed that he'd turned in his seat slightly so that he could look at her better. She lifted her eyes slowly and her gaze fell onto his face, noticing that he was looking down at her. "We all have our demons, Cate." He told her and she couldn't help but let out a quick laugh.

"Ain't that the truth.." She responded. Of course she had demons, they haunted her dreams and now they haunted her reality.

"What happened, anyway?" Juice asked quietly and she briefly looked away from him, sighing heavily. She lifted a hand to sweep a stray piece of damp hair behind her ear. She'd pulled it up into a messy heap of damp hair on the top of her head before leaving her house.

"Tomorrow's the _'anniversary'_ of my accident.. Ross said things would get worse but I didn't want to believe him. I just wanted to forget about it. But here we are.." She laughed bitterly before returning her gaze towards Juice and his concerned eyes. "The nightmares got worse the last couple of nights and I couldn't sleep.. Couldn't _eat_.. I've never felt like that before.." She explained before reaching down and popping another chip into her mouth. "I could hear them all.. As if they were in my head.. I could _see_ them.. That's what I shot at.. God, I sound _nuts_." Cate sighed, slumping back into her seat in defeat.

"No.. No you don't, Cate. Stop saying that." He told her firmly and she shook her head a little. "You'll get through it.. I know it probably feels like you won't, but you will.." He was so optimistic, she wished she shared in his optimism, but she didn't, not really. She believed that she would _never_ recover from what had happened out there. That she'd always be haunted by the memories.

"If this happened today.. What's gonna happen tomorrow?" She suddenly thought out loud, not quite thinking about it until now. The thought terrified her and she could feel her heart slowly starting to pick up in speed within her chest. Would she be a lot worse tomorrow? She'd be all alone in her house being tortured by the ghosts of her past.

"Hey, it'll be-." Juice began, but was cut off by Gemma sliding back into the booth.

"Jesus, you guys eat _slow_.." Gemma commented, clearly observing the food still left on their plates. Cate cleared her throat and straightened up, deciding to try and satisfy Gemma by digging into the burger.

Not long after, Cate had finished eating what she could and they'd all left the diner and were stood outside in the fresh, night air. Cate felt full now and was glad she'd eaten, however it had taken some time to actually get the food down and swallow it. But after some perseverance, she'd managed to eat a good ¾ of it.

"So I've gotta go swing by and see Luanne.." Gemma began as she retrieved her keys from her handbag. Cate crossed her arms and watched as Gemma prepared herself. "Juice, do you mind taking Cate home?" It was almost like Cate wasn't stood _right there_. She glanced from Gemma, towards Juice who almost looked a little bit shocked for a second.

"Me?" Juice asked and she watched as Gemma raised an eyebrow at him.

"I don't see any other mohawked idiots standing out here.." Gemma commented and Cate almost laughed, and had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from doing so.

"Ok.. I can do that.. I mean, I don't mind.." Juice stammered and Gemma grinned before turning to face Cate. She walked over to her and hugged her. Cate hesitated for a moment before returning the gesture.

"You _call_ if you need to, ok sweetheart?" Gemma said, holding Cate's shoulders at an arm's length as she looked at her.

"Ok, I will.. Thank you." Cate gave her a weak smile before Gemma let go of her and turned to her car.

"You get her home safe, Juice!" Gemma warned him before climbing into her car and seconds later, she'd started her engine and was gone. Cate slowly turned to face Juice, who was still awkwardly stood by his bike.

"Take me home?" She asked quietly with a little smile as she neared him and she noticed he seemed to instantly relax when he saw her near him.

"Hop on.." He told her as he climbed onto the bike himself and held out his helmet towards her, similar to how Jax had done. Clearly he'd not been expecting to take someone on his bike and had just brought the one helmet. Cate clipped it on and climbed on behind him. She tucked herself into his back, curling her arms low around his abdomen. "You ready?" He asked and she nodded.

"Always." She answered and seconds later he'd started the engine, and they were off.

Not long later, Juice pulled up onto her drive and stopped just behind her car, kicking down the stand to prop the bike up. Cate climbed off first and Juice swiftly followed. Once she'd removed her helmet, she handed it towards him before taking a step back and looking up at her house; the flag rippling in the wind. She swallowed hard as panic began to set in.

"Are you ok?" She heard Juice ask in concern and she snapped her gaze away from her house to look towards him.

"Not really.." She began quietly, wrapping her arms around herself as she looked back up at her house. "I'm terrified it's gonna happen again as soon as I step foot inside.. I'm gonna be by myself and it's all gonna start again and tomorrow's gonna come and I'm gonna-." She was panicking now, speaking quickly, her heart pounding in her chest.

"Hey, hey, hey.." Juice rushed to her, holding her arms in his hands, his head lowering so that he was at her eye level, catching her gaze. "Look at me.." He told her. Cate stared at her house for a second longer before dragging her gaze away so she could look at Juice's face in front of hers, her eyes catching his. She felt helpless and defeated.. She hated feeling like that, like she was vulnerable and broken.

"Will you.. Will you come in? Watch some TV with me?" She asked quietly, her gaze fixed on his. For a second, she wondered if he'd deny her request and find her childish for asking for company. But the small smile that pulled at his lips told her otherwise.

"Sure I can.." he said with a nod and Cate felt herself giving him a weak smile.

"OK cool.. Thank you." She responded before pulling herself away from him and heading up to her house. She stopped at her front door and pushed it open with an audible creak. She stood in the doorway, just staring into the darkness of her home.

"It's OK, Cate.. I'm here, nothin's gonna happen.." She heard Juice speak in a low voice from behind her and she swallowed hard before stepping through the threshold. Once she was in, she almost felt a little bit relieved when nothing bad happened immediately, as she had been expecting. So she cleared her throat and got on with it. She switched on the lamp, filling the room with a dim and warm light before turning to face Juice, who was now closing the door behind him. He couldn't latch it or lock it though, since the lock had broken when he'd forced entry. She could see that he was fumbling with it and she laughed quietly.

"Don't worry about it.. I'll get someone out to fix it tomorrow or something." Cate told him and watched as he turned to face her, awkwardly reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. Cate kicked off her shoes and made her way over to her sofa, sitting herself down on it.

"Don't call anybody.. I think I can fix it.. It's the least I can do for y'know.. _breaking_ it.." Juice spoke as he moved over to the sofa as well. Cate had already reached for the remote and had turned the TV on, changing channels until she found one with The Simpsons.

"I'm glad you broke it. So no more talk of that, alright?" Cate commented, watching as he dropped down into the corner of her sofa beside her, his arm rising to rest across the back of it. He looked comfortable and she was glad he was there, because it made her feel comfortable too.

"Alright, _fine_.." He gave up and she smiled before turning her attention back towards the flickering image of the TV. They stayed there in silence for a while, laughing when laughter was necessary in response to the episode they were watching. She felt comfortable in his presence, even when it was quiet between them. They didn't need to force conversation to feel good in each other's company, and she hoped he felt that way too. Time passed and Cate felt herself growing tired, her eyelids getting heavy and she felt her head drop every so often, until she'd realised what she was doing and she'd straighten up. In her peripheral vision, she noticed Juice yawn and she had to stop herself from smiling. He was clearly almost as tired as she was, and she wasn't surprised. She was aware of how close his arm was as it rest across the back of the sofa behind her head, but it didn't make her nervous, if anything she felt safe. He'd been right, nothing bad had happened whilst he'd been there and for that she was thankful. However, she couldn't help but feel worried about the nightmares she'd probably have and what would happen when she woke up and it was the anniversary.

"Juice?" She asked quietly through a tired voice, still staring ahead at the TV.

"Yeah?" Juice asked from her side, his voice sounded low and tired as well. Cate swallowed hard, her fingers tapping her legs. She'd pulled her feet up onto the sofa in an attempt to get comfortable.

"Can you stay?" She sounded timid and quiet, she knew that much. She felt stupid for asking and was worried he'd say no. Perhaps she shouldn't have asked at all. It was quiet then and she knew she'd asked the wrong question. "I'm sorry, you don't.."

"Yeah, I can stay.." Juice cut her off and she finally looked towards him to find he was looking at her. He looked even more handsome when he was tired, if that was even possible. Cate felt herself smile and he gave her one in return. She felt that nothing else needed to be said, so she looked back towards the TV. Not even a minute later, she felt his arm shift behind her head and then she felt it move down around her shoulders. Butterflies erupted in her stomach and she felt herself smile a little, tired smile as she watched the TV. Slowly, as tiredness well and truly crept in, she lowered herself to her side and into Juice's side. She felt him tense for a second but he soon relaxed. Even though she tried her hardest to stay awake, within minutes she was falling asleep against Juice's chest, with his arm wrapped around her side, keeping her safe and warm.


	18. Chapter 18

Here's a nicer one after lots of drama for Cate in the last couple! Hope you like it! Thanks so much, as always, for the kind reviews.. I'm _so_ pleased that you're all liking what I'm doing with this story! Stick with me for a fun ride! Enjoy x

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CHAPTER 18

Cate's dreams had been plagued with the faces of those she'd lost on that fateful day. However, on this occasion her nightmares had been somewhat peaceful. The figures of those she'd known simply sat in a room with her in silence. And then the little boy had appeared, holding her hand in his. Cate had woken up not long after that, her eyes slowly flickering open. The dream had unsettled her and filled her with a huge amount of sadness and unease. Slowly, Cate came to her senses and let out a tired sigh and stretched out her legs, her feet pushing against something warm. She glanced across and her gaze fell upon a sleeping Juice, his face out of view since his head was resting back against the arm of the sofa. It appeared she had been moved to the end of the sofa, outstretched across it, and he was sat on the other end where her feet were, looking rather uncomfortable. It seemed as though the uncomfortable position didn't make much difference to him though, since he was snoring away loudly.

Cate chewed on her bottom lip before slowly sitting up and swinging her legs around so that she could get up off the sofa. She quietly crept into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before heading to the back door which she slid open and stepped through. There was a slight chill to the early morning air, it was refreshing and Cate was thankful for it, as it seemed to wake her up a little more. Her head, however, was _banging_. There was the hangover she knew would come. With a quiet groan, she lowered herself onto the wooden steps to sit down at the top of them, leaning sideways to lean against the railing.

So today was the day… The anniversary of her accident. She didn't quite know how she felt about it. She'd already woken up feeling sad because of her dream, but it had been a completely different tone to all of her other dreams, so she didn't quite understand it. Cate unscrewed the cap from her bottle and lifted it to her lips, taking a few mouthfuls before closing it and resting it down on the step beside her. It was peaceful out in her garden; she could hear birds chirping and only the _faintest_ sound of cars passing by in the distance. The sun was still rising, slowly filling her garden with light and gentle warmth, battling away the chill of the night.

Cate slowly rubbed at her knee and she didn't even notice she was doing it at first but once she realised, she slowly dragged her hand away and looked down at the area. It was covered with her jogging bottoms at the moment, but she could still remember and visualize _every_ scar. She knew where each and every one was, she remembered noticing more and more cuts in the days after her accident. Just when she thought she'd treated them all, she'd find another. She'd been shredded from shrapnel as a result of the explosion; luckily most of them had just been surface wounds, barely as deep as a cat scratch. Some others had been a lot deeper and messier though, requiring many stitches and leaving bumpy, rough scars behind. They served as constant reminders of what had happened, she'd never be able to forget it thanks to her own skin.

"Cate?" She heard Juice call from within the house, a worried edge in his voice. He'd likely woken up and panicked upon realising she wasn't on the sofa with him anymore. Perhaps he thought she was upstairs drinking herself into oblivion again.

"I'm out here!" She called back, only turning her head when she heard movement from the doorway behind her. She watched as Juice stepped out into the warm sunlight, his tired eyes squinting in the light. "Good morning, sleeping beauty.." she joked, turning back to look out at her garden.

"Leave me alone.. I like my sleep, OK?" He said and she heard him moving and then he was sitting down on the step with her, leaning his back against the railing on the opposite side of the steps. She gave him a small smile as she looked over at him. He still looked tired, having just woken up not so long ago, and he _still_ looked so adorable. "Did you sleep ok?" he asked, catching her gaze after rubbing a hand over his face.

"Yeah, not too bad thanks.." She answered quietly, not wanting to disrupt the peace she'd found within her back yard. "I had some weird dreams but nothing in comparison to the last few nights." She admitted, drumming her fingers against the wooden floor behind her as she leant back, propping herself up with her hands behind her.

"Weird how?" he asked. He was ever so inquisitive, but Cate didn't mind it. He had also warned her that he was gonna get to know her, so it seemed as though he were true to his word.

"I was just sat in a room with the boys.. In complete silence. We were all just sat there.." She explained with a shrug. She was confused by it herself, so she didn't quite know how to interpret it or what else she could say about it. "The little boy was there too, he was holding my hand.. Smiling at me." She added, pushing herself back up to sit upright, resting her hands on her knees now.

"That _does_ sound.. unnerving." Juice spoke from beside her and Cate couldn't help but let out a quiet laugh. He sounded nervous by it and she'd found it funny.

"Yeah.. I mean, most mornings I wake up in a cold sweat and I have to catch my breath. But this time it was different.. Like, yeah I feel sad as hell about it.. But it was _different_." She said, turning her head to look towards him, her lips pursed together in a slight pout.

"Maybe with everything that happened yesterday, your mind's decided to give you a break?" Juice suggested, sounding optimistic. Cate simply gave him a little smile and looked back out at the garden.

"I don't know.. I'm not gonna read into it too much. I just have to take it step by step." It was as if she were trying to assure herself as she said it, hoping that by speaking it out loud she'd believe it a little more. "Thanks for staying, Juice.. I feel kinda bad, I mean I'm sure you had more important things to do than to babysit me.." She commented, looking back over at him and watching as he grinned slightly.

"Nah.. I didn't mind it. Been a while since I've had a sleep over though.." Juice joked and Cate reached out, punching him lightly in the arm.

"Ouch!" He laughed, reaching up to playfully nurse and rub the area of his arm that she had just hit. Cate rolled her eyes dramatically.

"I'm not really sure what I'm gonna do to keep myself busy today.." Cate groaned in frustration.

"I ain't got nowhere to be just yet.. We can watch TV and hang out until I gotta go?" Juice suggested and Cate smiled, looking back over at him to see that he was smiling too. Slowly, she nodded her head at him.

"That sounds cool.. I can dig out my brother's old XBox?" She suggested and Juice's eyes lit up straight away and his smile turned into a wide grin, the grin she'd not stopped thinking about since the day she first saw him at the traffic lights.

"Sounds like the _best_ morning, Cate. Can't fault you on your hospitality." He ended with a joke again and Cate laughed this time and shook her head.

"You're a funny one, Juice.." She said with a smile.

"I know." He chirped back, his grin still in place. It was silent then for a moment before Cate lowered her gaze away from Juice and looked down at her hands on her lap, her fingers toying with one another.

"I feel like I should try and talk to Ross today.. Or something.." Cate voiced her thoughts quietly, sounding quite unsure.

"That could be a good idea.." Juice commented and she slowly gave a nod of her head, but she didn't seem convinced on her thoughts.

"I don't know if I really wanna talk to him though.. He doesn't _get_ it.. He's just gone to lectures and done placements and come out with a fancy degree in psychiatry. He doesn't _understand_ what happened and what continues to happen out there.." Cate explained, sounding quite annoyed at the thought. "I hate it.. He'll try and push meds on me and give me exercises that he gives to dozens of other people like me." She grumbled and lowered her head to rest in her hands, propped up with her elbows resting on her knees.

"I get that.." Juice spoke softly from beside her. "Isn't there anybody else you could talk to?" He suggested and Cate sighed, pursing her lips as she thought about whether or not there _was_ anyone she could talk to, who understood what she was going through. And then, after some thought, it clicked.

"Wayne.." She answered quietly, lifting her head and turning to face Juice.

"Wayne.. _Unser_?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow as he met her gaze.

"Yeahhh.. Wayne." Cate confirmed, giving him a questioning look. "You know him?" she asked next.

"Well.. Yeah.. He's the chief of police, right? Of course _everybody_ knows him.. It would be weird _not_ to know him, right?" Juice rushed, almost coming off a little defensive but Cate just gave a slow nod.

"Ok.. Well.. He was good friends with my uncle, they served in 'Nam together and he was super supportive when I came to town. I could call him.. He knows what it's like.. He's served like I have." Cate explained, a small smile coming to her lips. It made her feel a little more optimistic knowing that there was somebody she could speak to who might have had similar experiences to her. Why hadn't she thought of it sooner? "In fact.. I might give him a quick call, see if he can meet me this afternoon.." She spoke her ideas out loud as she formed them, pushing herself to her feet as soon as she'd finished speaking. "Why don't I do that quickly, and then I'll grab the Xbox and I can kick your ass at street fighter?" She watched as Juice seemed to relax after getting tense for some reason when she'd mentioned Wayne. He then smiled up at her.

"You sound awfully confident about that, Doc.." He teased, pushing himself up to his feet too. "Just promise to not be mad when _I_ beat _you_." he added and Cate rolled her eyes.

"We'll soon see, won't we?" She replied whilst passing by Juice, heading back into her house. She was actually feeling pretty good. Some of that sadness from when she'd woken up had passed and it was likely due to her pleasant company and also the idea of speaking with Wayne about her issues. "I'm just gonna go upstairs and get the Xbox, I'll give Wayne a call too, and then I'll be back down.." She informed him at the foot of the stairs, watching as he plonked himself down onto the cough again, his kutte hanging over the arm of it.

"Quit talkin' and keep movin', we're running out of precious nerd time." He answered with a grin. Cate rolled her eyes and made her way up the stairs. She wandered into the spare room full of boxes and rooted around for a minute before locating the box with the console, games and accessories. She carried it out of the spare room and into her own room, where she popped it down onto the bed next to her. Cate reached for her mobile and searched through the contact until she found the one she wanted and pressed 'call'. The phone rang and rang, to the point where she didn't think he'd answer. But then he did.

"Hello?" The familiar voice of Wayne asked through the ear piece. Cate relaxed as relief coursed through her body.

"Hey, Wayne.. It's me, Cate?" She responded.

"Oh hey, sweetheart. Is everything OK?" His voice seemed a lot more relaxed now that he knew who he was speaking to.

"Yeah, everything's fine.. Just a quick call really.." She paused for a moment, drawing in a breath to calm herself. "I was actually calling to ask you something.."

"Uh.. OK. What is it?" He asked in a questioning voice.

"Well.. Today's a pretty shitty day. I had my accident a year ago.." She explained, adding a quick laugh at the end to try and lighten to topic.

"Oh Cate, I'm sorry.. Are you OK?" He asked, voice kind and gruff.

"I'm fine.." That was a lie, and she shut her eyes tight. She was just so used to saying 'I'm OK' when actually she wasn't. "Well, I'm not _completely_ fine.. But that's why I was calling.. I was wondering if you'd meet with me a little later so I can talk with you about stuff? I thought it might help to talk to somebody who's seen what I've seen.." She explained, lifting her thumb up to her mouth where she chewed on her nail.

"Of course.. That's not a problem at all. Why don't you just swing by the station whenever you're free?" He suggested and Cate felt herself smile as she dropped her free hand back down to her lap.

"Sure.. That sounds great, actually." She answered. "Thanks, Wayne.. I'll see you later."

"Alright, kid.." He answered and she hung up the phone. She held it against her chest for a second, drawing in a deep breath. She was pleased that they'd be meeting and that she'd be able to talk to another veteran about her issues. Cate smiled to herself before pushing herself to her feet, tucking her phone into the pocket of her joggers. She then retrieved the box and made her way back downstairs, where Juice was waiting on the sofa, looking down at his little flip phone. She'd always wondered why he had such a crappy little phone, but then again, she wasn't a woman of luxury herself. She didn't care much for the material things in life.

"Ready to get your ass whooped?" Cate asked and popped the box down on the rug in front of the TV, capturing Juice's attention, as she watched him tuck away his phone.

"Oh it's on.." He responded, sitting eagerly at the edge of his seat. Cate got everything out, plugged it all in, popped in the disc before sitting down on the sofa beside Juice, handing him a controller. The game loaded and Cate sat back into the sofa with a grin, lifting her feet up onto the sofa with her, her knees against her chest. They selected their characters and played the first game, which, to Juice's disappointment, Cate won. He looked at her with a playful frown and Cate gave him a charming smile.

"I did warn you.." She teased, shrugging her shoulders. Juice's frown faltered then and a smirk tugged at his lips.

"Best of three?" He suggested.

"You're on, _Juicey-Boy_." Cate responded, using the nickname she'd heard people used quite often. Juice shook his head and laughed before returning his attention to the screen.

"You're going _down_." He retorted, and then they started their second game.


	19. Chapter 19

AN: really appreciate the continuous support from you all! Here's another update for you all. Let me know what you think! X

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CHAPTER 19

Cate and Juice had spent the morning playing video games and discussing their favourite games, movies, TV shows, everything. She'd discovered that Juice was a bit of a nerd and she liked it, just when she thought he couldn't be any cuter. He'd ended up beating her in most things and she imagined it was down to the fact that it had been years since she'd played. Juice had laughed and told her to quit making excuses. He had to leave just before midday, informing Cate that he had some things to do with the boys, work-related things. For mechanics, they did an awful lot of things outside of work. She hadn't questioned it anyway; he probably needed a break from her after everything that had happened. Cate wondered if anything he'd heard and witnessed had changed his opinion of her. She didn't know what he thought of her anyway, but she hoped that it was good things and that the day before hadn't tainted any of that.

It was a little after 1pm when Cate left her house and she'd successfully managed to spend some time alone indoors. She'd been anxious about it when Juice left; wondering what would happen when she was finally left alone. Of course, nothing had happened. But she'd spent the time feeling quite anxious and on edge. Cate had decided that it was probably a good time to go and have her visit with Wayne and so she'd jumped straight into her car and headed out.

It didn't take long to reach the town centre. It wasn't particularly busy, which she was thankful for. She didn't really want to deal with _other_ people at the moment, she wanted to get to Wayne and have her friendly therapy session. Cate pulled into the parking lot at the police station and pulled up her handbrake, she took a deep breath and then pushed open the door, climbing out of her vehicle. She made her way into the police station, which happened to be fairly quiet. It was a small town and she imagined it didn't have a lot of major crime. From her time in the emergency room, she'd rarely had any stabbings or gunshot wounds. Cate wandered over to a desk where a younger man with dark hair was sat in uniform, a silver badge on his breast.

"Can I help you?" He asked inquisitively as she approached the desk, Cate was busy looking around, trying to spy her older family friend. Her gaze eventually landed back on the man who'd spoken to her.

"I'm here to see the Chief.." She informed him, forcing a small smile onto her lips. The man sat up straight in his seat, a stern expression crossing his features.

"Chief Unser is busy. I'm Chief Deputy Hale.. You can speak with me.." He told her matter-of-factly and immediately, Cate realised she did not like this man.

"No..." She answered slowly with a shake of her head, crossing her arms. "I'm here to speak to _Wayne_." She informed him in a tone similar to his own. She wasn't in the mood for pride and ego's, she had a headache and a hangover from hell, she had very little patience for anything.

"As I said.. He's busy. Now what can I do for you.. _Ma'am_?" Oh she really didn't like this guy. She thought he was patronising and arrogant. Cate was never really one to judge but he was giving her an attitude. Cate pushed her lips together tightly, clenching her teeth and she felt her jaw tense in response. They maintained eye contact in tense silence for a few seconds before Cate broke it.

"Wayne!" She called out, taking a few steps towards the stretch of hallway that she knew lead to the offices.

"Ma'am, you need to stop right there!" He demanded, and caught her wrist in his hand and tried to pull it behind her back, as if he were about to cuff her. Cate tensed her arm making it momentarily difficult for him to move her arm, as he hadn't been expecting her to retaliate.

"What's going on here?" Wayne's voice suddenly demanded loudly from behind them.

"Sir, this woman is.." Hale begun but Cate cut him off

" _This woman_ is here to see her _friend_." Cate growled.

"Hale, let her go _right_ now.." Wayne demanded sternly and after a second of hesitation she felt Hale's grip loosen and when he did, she tugged her wrist from his hold and turned to face him. Cate didn't say anything, she just gave him a glare before the feeling of Wayne's hand on her shoulder broke her from trying to be intimidating and she turned around to face the older man instead. She smiled a small smile at him. "Let's go to my office, Cate." He told her and she nodded her head, following Wayne to his office, leaving the Deputy behind.

Once the door was closed, Cate let out a sigh of relief and sat down on the seat in front of the desk. "He's a real piece of work, Wayne.." Cate commented with a small laugh, cracking her knuckles out of habit before resting them on her lap. She watched as Wayne sat down behind his desk to face her and he laughed in response to her comment.

"Yeah.. I'm sorry about him. Since he got that badge he's been strolling around like a damn peacock." Wayne responded, making Cate laugh and she nodded her head in agreement before her laugh faded out quietly. "How're you doin', sweetheart?" He asked, sitting back in his seat. Cate shrugged her shoulders and sighed.

"I just.. Sometimes I wish I'd never joined the army, y'know?" She told him. Wayne sighed himself and gave a small nod of his head in understanding.

"I know.. It's not a nice place to be. It has it's perks, of course.. But what happens out there? That's hell on earth." He answered. Cate couldn't agree more. She used to think it was just a matter of taking the good with the bad, but then the good faded away and all that was left was the bad.

"What's funny is that I barely remember any of the _other_ stuff. It's the things I saw on _that_ day that I can't seem to forget. It's like it's all burned into my brain like some brand and I'm never gonna be able to get rid of it. Some days it's good, some days it's _awful_.." Cate explained glumly, a frown crossing over her features. A glance up at Wayne revealed that he too was frowning.

"Honestly? You'll never forget what happened that day, Cate. You survived something _awful_.. Not many live to tell that tale. You won't forget it, but you'll learn to live with it.." He told her and she chewed on her bottom lip as she listened. "It'll get easier every day, you just have to be strong and you _have_ to be persistent. You can't give up. You gotta embrace it, try and see the positives of it rather than the negatives.." Cate's eyebrows shot up then and she couldn't stop the bitter laugh that escaped from between her lips.

"What's positive about surviving an explosion that killed all of your friends?" She snapped and immediately closed her eyes, feeling regret. She didn't mean to snap, her emotions were all over the place.

"What's positive is that you _survived_.. You're _alive_.." Wayne answered immediately and Cate opened her eyes to look over at him. "You can't feel guilty about being alive, Cate. Life is a gift.. You should be celebratin' it for Christ sake. It's unfortunate that other people had to die, people will _always_ die.. But people will always _survive_ too. You're the survivor." Cate had felt herself starting to well up as he spoke. Her eyes had started to sting and her vision blurred from the tears within them. Cate swallowed the lump in her throat.

"But why me? Those men had families, wives, girlfriends, children.. I had.. I _have_ nothing.." At this point she was aware of a tear spilling over the threshold of her eyelid. It rolled down her cheek and stopped at her chin, she could feel the cold of its wet path. "Children have been left _fatherless_.. And here I am, doing _nothing_ and living a mediocre life." It was the one thing that Cate hadn't and couldn't come to terms with.. How she'd survived and others more deserving of life hadn't.

"Because God has a plan for you, sweetheart. The others? They were in the wrong place and the wrong time, you _all_ were.. But their time was up." Wayne replied. How could he be so positive and optimistic?

"God?" Cate laughed bitterly again, rolling her eyes. "I don't believe in _God_ anymore.. If there was a God, he'd stop all this madness and we wouldn't have to lose life out there anymore. He wouldn't have taken all my friends that day.. He wouldn't have killed a child.. An innocent little boy." Cate's voice broke at the last part and another tear dripped down her face. The topic of the little boy always upset her.

"Everything happens for a reason, Cate.. That's what I had to tell myself, that's what got me through." He answered, giving her a gentle shrug of his shoulders. He had a point; she just found it hard to think like that on days where everything was flared up.

"I hate this.." She said with a breath, reaching up to wipe the tears away from under her eyes. "I just want it to go away.. I hate that I can't even play shooter video games because it makes me remember being back there.. That I can't have a _quiet_ sleep, because nine times out of ten I have nightmares.. I hate it all." Wayne sighed and she heard him move but she didn't look, she just stared down at her hands. She then heard him pull out the seat next to her and she glance sideways as he took a seat and reached his hand out towards her, resting it on her back between her shoulder blades.

"Trust me, Cate. It _will_ get better. You're stronger than it is and you can overcome it. You have your uncles strength and his stubbornness, he'd have faith in you and he'd tell you the exact same thing as what I'm telling you now.. I know it." Cate laughed and gave a sad smile, and she felt more tears fall from her eyes at the mention of her uncle. "He'd be so proud of you, Cate. He'd want you to get better; he'd hate to see you like this." Wayne continued and Cate sniffled quietly, wiping her hands across her face again. "Maybe you should consider going to a group? I know of one in town.. it's a good guy who runs it." He suggested and Cate purses her lips, shrugging her shoulders. She wasn't sure if _group_ therapy was something she'd be interested but perhaps she'd give it a try.

"Maybe.. but I'm hoping things might start to get better now.." Cate said quietly, looking up at him with a small smile which he returned. "I've made some new friends and I'm hoping it'll help knowing that I'm not alone.."

"Oh yeah? People from work?" He questioned, still smiling at her.

"Actually, no. Funnily enough, I've kinda befriended my neighbour. She's been really nice.." Cate explained and watched as Wayne's smile suddenly disappeared.

"Your neighbour?" he questioned.

"Yeah.. Gemma.." Cate answered. She then remembered that Gemma had actually mentioned Wayne at their dinner a few nights ago. "You know her right?" Wayne nodded slowly and gently cleared his throat.

"Yeah.. I know Gemma." He answered shortly before his small smile returned. "Who else?" Cate raised an eyebrow at his question and he must've caught on to her questioning expression. "The new friends.."

"Oh!" Cate answered, noticing that he seemed to be diverting the conversation. Or was he just super keen to know who else she'd befriended? "A guy called Juice.. Although I'm not sure that's his _actual_ name, but I haven't gotten around to asking yet." Cate found herself smiling at the mere thought of the brown eyed biker. She noticed that Wayne's smile fell.. _Again_.

"Juice from the Sons?" He asked and Cate laughed in response.

"How many Juice's do you know in this town?" She answered sarcastically. But what was interesting was that Wayne seemed to know who she was talking about, since he pinpointed him and the Sons of Anarchy. "You don't seem awfully impressed about these new friends of mine.."

"Oh.. No, it's not that. I just want what's best for you.." Wayne commented and Cate suddenly frowned.

"What is it with people suddenly wanting what's best for me when I mention Juice? First Ross and now you. It's like as soon as people see he rides a nice bike, has tattoos and wears a leather vest, they think he's some badass biker. He's a mechanic for Christ sake. He's a _huge_ nerd!" Cate said in frustration, suddenly pushing herself up to her feet.

"I know, sweetheart.. I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry.." Wayne apologised, looking up at her from his seat. Cate crossed her arms and looked down at him, clearly not impressed with him. "It's just.. Your uncle wanted me to look out for you.. I just want you to be safe, for his sake, OK?" Cate sighed then and relaxed her tense shoulders which she then shrugged as she rolled her eyes.

" _Fine_.." She sighed. "You'd tell me if there was anything I should know about, right?" She suddenly asked. He was in the police force, after all. If there was anything _true_ about this whole 'menace' thing, then he would know surely about it. Wayne paused and then he slowly nodded.

"Sure.." He answered after a moment and Cate unfolded her arms, tucking her hands into the pockets of her jeans.

"Cool.. Well.. Thanks for making time for me, Wayne. I appreciate it." She commented. Although, she wasn't actually sure if it had been _massively_ helpful but it had been insightful enough.

"Anytime, doll." He stood up and gave her a pat on the shoulder before walking with her to the door.

"Keep a leash on your Deputy, will ya?" Cate joked with a smile before they left the office and Wayne laughed in response.

"I will do.. Have a good day, Cate." Wayne opened the office door then and Cate gave him a smile.

"See you around.." She said her goodbye and left the office. As she passed Hale at the desk, she couldn't help but give him a smile and a little sarcastic wave before she left the station. Once she was outside, she leant against her car and retrieved her phone from her jacket pocket.

 _C: Finished with Wayne. PS. My ego's still bruised from all those losses._

Cate sent the text to Juice with a small smile and she lifted her gaze from her phone as she heard the rumble of a motorcycle and for a second she felt quite excited. However, she noticed it was Clay pulling up in the parking lot. Cate fumbled with her keys and unlocked her car and in the mean time, she heard the engine cut off not far from where she was standing.

"Cate, right?" She'd hoped that he wouldn't recognise her but she should be so lucky. She'd found him quite intimidating the first and _only_ time that she'd met him. However, he was Gemma's husband, so she'd probably have to get used to him if she was to continue being friends with her. Cate smiled and turned around to face him, standing behind her open car door.

"Hey! Yeah, that's me.. my name.. Cate.." She replied awkwardly and flashed him a smile. He gave a crooked grin before looking between her and the police station.

"Everything OK?" He asked and Cate nodded her head.

"Oh yeah, everything's _fine_.." She said with a wave of her hand. "Just some personal business.. Nothing important." Cate finished rather awkwardly. It was funny how she'd gone from powerful sass queen with the Deputy, to awkward mess in front of Clay. He watched her for a second with a thoughtful expression before he grinned.

"Glad to hear it." He answered and Cate nodded, the sound of a text alert ringing from her phone. She glanced down at it and smiled, seeing that it was Juice, before looking back at Clay. "I'll be seein' ya.." He said, before making his way into the station. Cate watched as he left before she climbed into her car and shut the door. She then looked down at her phone to see what Juice had said.

 _J: Best of 3 l8r? Can tell me all about Wayne_

Was he inviting himself over to hers?

 _J: After I fix ur door_

He added onto his last text and Cate smiled.

 _C: Sure. I'll be home. You know where to find me._

Cate tossed her phone into the seat next to her and switched the engine of her car on. As with what Wayne said about the army days, she'd take the good with the bad. For now, she was focusing on the good. With a small smile on her lips, she left the parking lot and made her way home.


	20. Chapter 20

Here's some more Cate & Juice for you all! I hope you're still enjoying this so far x

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CHAPTER 20

Cate had arrived home not long after leaving her visit with Wayne. On the way back she'd stopped off at the grocery store briefly to buy some bits and pieces but she hadn't spent too long there at all. She was now home and had not long finished unpacking everything from the bags when her phone began to ring. Cate reached into the pocket of her jeans and withdrew it, only to see that it was Ross calling. She knew she couldn't avoid him and his concern forever, so after a moment of hesitation, she answered the phone and lifted it up to her ear.

"Hecate?" She heard Ross' voice from the other side of the line. He sounded concerned _and_ annoyed.

"Hey Ross.. How's it going?" She asked, propping the phone between her shoulder and her ear as she busied herself with tidying up the kitchen counter. She'd noticed a little smudge of dirt on the counter and now needed to clean the _entire_ surface.

"How's it going?" He repeated almost sarcastically and Cate found herself rolling her eyes. "How do you think its going? I've been worried sick, Cate.."

"I'm sorry, I just had a lot on my plate, Ross.." She answered whilst spraying a cleaning product onto her counter and wiping it over with a cloth.

"Which is exactly why I was trying to call, to _help_ lighten the load.." said Ross. "You don't help when you don't answer the phone Cate.. I thought something awful might have happened. I'd of called the police if it hadn't been for your _neighbour_ telling me everything was OK." Cate paused then and suddenly straightened up, reaching up to hold the phone against her ear now.

"My neighbour?" she questioned, wanting him to reiterate.

"Yes.. The older woman with the dark hair and a tattoo on her chest. Real piece of work. Gemma, I believe.." Ross answered and Cate felt herself frown. Gemma had contacted her psychiatrist to say that she was OK? How did she even know _who_ her psychiatrist was?

"Oh.. Yeah.." Cate began, trying to make up a lie as she went along. She didn't want to let on that she hadn't known anything about this. "I told Gemma if she could let you know I was OK and that I was just busy.." She paused, thinking of an excuse. "..Doing things.." Good one, Cate.

"Right.. Well, I just wanted to check in myself to see that you actually _are_ ok.." Ross answered after a brief moment of silence. He'd seemed to have calmed down a bit at that point.

"Everything's fine Ross.. I'm doing just fine.. Just been busy. In fact I'm still busy now, so I can't really talk much.." Cate commented, hoping he'd get the message and just leave her be for a while. She'd return when she was ready. However, she'd started getting to a point where she didn't really want to be going there anymore. She'd not found him massively useful, in fact, she found him quite annoying and quite creepy at times. And after her last session where he'd sounded quite concerned about Juice and opinionated on whom she saw, she was even less keen to see him again.

"Will I be seeing you this week?" He asked.

"I'll be in touch, Ross. I gotta go.. Someone's here.. Speak soon!" She hung up then. There'd been nobody there, nobody had arrived, but she didn't want to stay on the phone with him anymore. Cate popped her mobile in her pocket and gave her kitchen counter a little once over, it was clean now, not that it hadn't been before. She reached out and straightened out her salt and pepper shakers so they were perfectly aligned, before exiting the kitchen all together.

Once in her front room, her gaze fell onto the small holes now present in the wall by her front door where she'd fired her gun yesterday. Cate frowned slightly and she wandered over and stopped right in front of it. She slowly reached up and ran her fingertips gently over the holes, examining them. If she didn't get it fixed soon, it would start to annoy her.. it disrupted the way she was used to seeing the wall. Her brow dipped and she felt herself frown as she slipped into a daydream.

 _Suddenly, the face of Ron appeared in her vision, silent and staring at her. And then the face of Marcus and Riley. Then, she shot at all three of them, the bullets tore through their foreheads, blood splattering across the walls, brain matter scattering the ceiling._

A knocking at the door beside her made Cate jump out of her skin, she flinched back with an audible gasp as she was ripped out of her imagination. She hadn't even realised she'd been dragged out of reality and into the depths of her mind – clearly seeing the evidence of what had happened last night had triggered some sort of emotional response. Cate averted her attention towards the door and she slowly pulled it back, not having to unlock anything since the latch had broken. A quiet sigh of relief left her lips and she felt herself relax as her gaze fell upon Juice's face, a massive grin present on his friendly face.

"Hey Cate.." He greeted and she slowly smiled, although she still felt a little shaky from the adrenaline of being scared out of her daydream.

"Juice.. I didn't think you'd be here so soon." She admitted. She thought he'd leave it until quite late to see her, since she'd not specified a time. His grin faltered slightly.

"Oh.. Well.. I can go and come back later? If that's better for you?" He suddenly asked and Cate quickly shook her head, stepping forward towards him.

"No, no.. I just mean.. I don't know what I mean.. Just that it's early and I didn't think you'd want to be here early.." She stammered herself, not wanting him to get the wrong idea in thinking she didn't want him to be there. She stepped back then and held the door open, gesturing with her arm to the inside of her house. "Come in.." She invited and Juice smiled again.

"I don't mind being here early.. I got time." He informed her as she stepped through the threshold and entered her home. She noticed that he was carrying a bag from a local supplies store. " _Plus_.. I wanted to allow extra time so I could.. Y'know.. Fix the door." He told her, lifting the bag up slightly as a gesture. Cate smiled and pushed the door shut, following him into her home.

"Thanks again.. I really could've got somebody out to do that." She informed him, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ears, which she'd left down today and it had gotten a little wild since she'd let it air dry overnight after her cold shower with Juice.

"Nah, it's cool. It's the least I can do." Why did he feel like he owed her so much? She felt that he had already done plenty for her.

"Can I get you a drink? I got fizz, water, tea.. _Beer_?" She offered, crossing her arms as she stood in her living room, staring over at Juice.

"You've got beer? Is that such a good idea?" He asked quietly and Cate felt herself frown slightly. He had a point in thinking that, but she hadn't brought it for her, and she _certainly_ wasn't tempted by it either, especially with the hangover she was sporting from her little situation last night.

"It's not for me.." She replied with a shrug of her shoulders and she watched as a grin suddenly spread across Juice's lips.

"You got _me_ beer?" He questioned in a teasing tone of voice and Cate felt herself roll her eyes before she'd even thought about it.

"I just got beer as an option, OK? I've not had to _host_ for anyone lately.. I wanna be hospitable.." She explained, feeling a little defensive about it now, especially since she was feeling a little bit embarrassed about being called out on it too. When she'd gone to the shop on her way home, she'd decided to pick up the beers so that Juice could have the option if he wanted it. He was a dude, she was sure he drank plenty of beer. She didn't want to be _that_ homeowner who didn't have options for her guests. Her anxiety made her worry and now she felt a little more anxious, wondering if she'd done the right thing.

"You're super hospitable with or without beer.. Don't worry." He smiled at her and she looked down at the ground for a moment, chewing on the inside of her lip to stop herself from breaking out into a big smile. "I'll take one though.." He finally said and Cate spun on her heel and headed for the kitchen. She took a bottle from the fridge, twisted off the cap and popped it into the bin before returning back to the living room where she could see that Juice was now shrugging out of his kutte and his hoodie.

"Here you go.." She said, holding it out towards him at arms length. He gave her a small grin and he took it from her.

"Thanks, Cate.." He took a sip before setting it down on the coffee table. "I'm gonna get started on the door so that it's done, is that OK?" he asked and Cate nodded her head, giving him a small smile as she shoved her hands into her back pockets.

"That's fine.. I'll just.. Be sat over here.." She said as she wandered over to her couch, sitting down right in the corner of it. She had one of those lovely corner sofas which she enjoyed thoroughly. "Shout if you need me.." She informed him and he gave her a nod and a smile before turning his back on her to get started on the door.

Cate watched as he got started, watching as he moved and how he concentrated on the task at hand. She didn't want to interrupt him by talking to him, it seemed like he'd found his flow and she didn't want to disrupt that. If he was anything like her, it would be annoying to have someone stop you in the middle of doing something like that. She realised that perhaps his OCD had something to do with him being so insistent on fixing the door? Maybe knowing that he'd been the one to break it was just playing on his mind. She didn't quite know, but she was quite glad that he was.

Cate had been tucked into the corner of her sofa, head resting on a cushion as she watched a film, when Juice cleared his throat from the other end of the sofa where he was stood.

"I'm all done.." He told her and Cate quickly cast a glance at the clock. It had only taken about three quarters of an hour; she'd expected it to be longer. She looked back over at him and sat up in her seat, giving him a smile.

"Thanks Juice, I really appreciate your help.." She informed him and he returned her smile.

"It's no problem, doc.. Just one thing though. I had to replace the whole lock, so there's a new key.." He informed her and held up the new key between his fingers.

"Oh, that's OK.. Probably saved me a job actually, the old one was starting to get harder to unlock.." She laughed and got to her feet, walking over to take the key from between his fingers. "I hope you didn't make copies on your way over here.." She teased and she noticed a brief look of panic flicker over his features in response to her words.

"No, of course not!" He responded quickly and Cate laughed, shaking her head.

"Chill.. I'm just teasing.." She admitted and watched as he relaxed.

"Oh.. I know that, I know.." He answered. Cate smiled and popped the new key down on the coffee table for safe keeping.

"Are you hungry?" she then asked, looking back towards Juice, watching as he took another mouthful from his beer which he'd been holding in his hand.

" _Starving_.." He grinned and Cate moved over to a table in the corner of the living room where she kept takeaway menus in a drawer. Behind her, she heard Juice moving but she paid little attention to it.

"Fancy Pizza?" She asked as she grabbed hold of a menu, turning around to face Juice who was now sat on the sofa where he'd been sat the evening before. His eyes lit up and he nodded his head quickly.

"Cate, I _always_ fancy pizza.." He answered enthusiastically and Cate laughed quietly, walking around to sit back down on the sofa where she'd been sat before, at the opposite side to where Juice was sat, so that she could see him properly. Cate grabbed her mobile and dialled the number and placed an order big enough for them to share. She'd not even asked him what he wanted as she assumed he'd likely be quite diverse and she knew he wasn't a vegetarian since he'd eaten a beef burger at the diner the last 2 times she'd eaten out with him.

"It'll be here soon.." She informed him, reaching forward to put the phone and menu down before sitting back in her seat, resting her hands on her lap as she glanced over at him, meeting his gaze.

"So, how were things with Unser?" he asked quietly before taking another swig from his beer. Cate shrugged her shoulders and shot a little smile over in his direction.

"It was good.. He had quite a lot to say.. It was a lot different to the things Ross would say to me.." She explained, drumming her fingers against her thighs. "Ross sometimes seems as if he doesn't want me to get better.. I'll tell him something good that happened and he'll make it out to be negative.." Cate moaned, rolling her eyes at the mere thought of it. She noticed Juice's eyebrow rise in response to her words.

"Isn't that like, the opposite of what he's supposed to be doing?" He questioned and Cate let out a bitter laugh.

"My point exactly.." she answered before shrugging her shoulders again. "Speaking with Wayne was good though; it's different when it's coming from someone who's actually experienced similar things to me, y'know?" Cate explained and Juice nodded slowly as she spoke. "Today hasn't been anywhere near as bad as I thought it might be.. I'm thinking it all came to a head yesterday and it _won't_ get any worse than that.. At least, I hope it won't.." She added quietly.

"You know what I think, doc?" Juice began, shifting in his seat to get comfortable, looking over at her. "I think you'll be just fine.." He told her with a smile and Cate laughed quietly, and a smile remained even once she had stopped.

"Is that your professional opinion?" She teased and Juice grinned at her.

"Oh yeah, _totally_.." He responded and then his phone beeped. Cate watched as he looked down at it and he frowned slightly before he closed it and looked back over at her, replacing his frown with a smile.

"All ok?" She asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, all fine.. I'll probably have to take off after we've eaten.." He explained, almost sounding a little disappointed. Cate smiled a small smile at him and gave a nod.

"It's ok.." She admitted although she did wonder where he was going to be going. He was a little elusive about that. Whenever she'd been with him and his phone had rung or gone off, he never really explained anything, just said he had to go. And admittedly, she was beginning to get a little suspicious, but for now, she'd let it go.

"I was just _really_ looking forward to beating you on Street Fighter again.." Juice teased after a moment of their sad silence. Cate suddenly laughed and then Juice joined in until they were both laughing with each other.

"You can come and beat me any time.." Cate said before she'd even realised what she was saying and she suddenly felt like she wanted to kick herself. How suggestive had that sounded?! But she meant it. She'd happily have Juice over quite often, even if it meant playing video games. She really enjoyed spending her time with him.

"I'll hold you to that.." He teased and Cate fought against her body wanting to send a blush to her cheeks. She bit on the inside of her cheek to create some pain as a distraction. They caught each other's eyes and both ended up breaking out into smiles at one another.

Within an hour, they'd finished the majority of the pizza and were now preparing to say their goodbyes.

"So.. I hope you have a good rest of your evening.." Cate commented as she stood in the hallway with her arms crossed around herself, watching as Juice pulled on his hoodie and then his kutte over it.

"Nah, it'll be boring.. I'd prefer to be beating you on XBOX, but I can't always get what I want, right?" He answered in a teasing voice, a grin on his lips which made Cate smile in response.

"That would make you spoilt, and nobody likes a spoilsport.." Cate teased quietly in response, watching as he pulled at his kutte and hoodie, getting comfortable. He looked good, she couldn't deny that. He stopped once he was ready and he looked up at her, catching her gaze. It was silent for a moment then.

"Will you be OK?" He asked softly, stepping into the hallway and thus stepping closer to Cate. She smiled at his kindness and she nodded her head.

"Of course.." She tried to sound positive but she found it hard to, since she wasn't completely sure what would happen once she was alone again and forced to try and sleep.

"Call me if you want to.. At any time of night, alright?" Juice offered and she nodded her head and pursed her lips slightly, holding her arms tighter around herself. She hated feeling so vulnerable and clearly she was radiating it in beams if he was picking up on her insecurity.

"I will.." She answered quietly, a small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. "Thanks for everything, Juice.. You've been so kind." She told him and he returned it with another of his small grins. It was quiet again and she was aware of a feeling of tension which made her feel quite uncomfortable. Suddenly, she noticed Juice step towards her to the point where he was quite close to her and he leant forward. What was he doing? Was he going to kiss her? She could feel her heart thudding in her chest. But then she felt the briefest contact of his lips against her forehead and she felt butterflies erupt in her stomach.

"Stay safe.." He then said as he pulled back, looking down at her with a firm expression upon his features. It almost sounded like a demand. And she didn't know whether to be flattered or offended. Flattered by his gesture and the endearing feelings behind it, or offended by the suggestion that she couldn't keep herself safe. However, he had witnessed her choking on her own vomit as a result of her reckless drinking, so she could understand it.

"I will…" She breathed and he gave her one last smile before he turned away all together and left through the open front door. Cate watched for a second before closing the door behind him, deciding not to watch him mount his bike for she felt her cheeks flood with warmth. She was blushing, she knew it. And then suddenly, a big smile spread across her features and she let out an involuntary laugh which she soon covered with a hand over her mouth.

Well, she knew it now, that she well and truly was crushing on her mohawked saviour like a hormonal high school student. "Oh boy.." She breathed to herself and dropped down onto the sofa, smiling up at her ceiling.


	21. Chapter 21

I'm in Poland for a few days now, so won't have any time to update. So here's a chapter before I leave. I had fun writing this one, I think you'll have fun reading it too ;) Enjoy! x

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CHAPTER 21

A few days had passed since Cate's accident and things hadn't been too bad. She'd returned to work and got stuck in with it all, deciding that it was probably better to keep busy than to keep having time off work. It had been quite busy the last few days, with some sort of horrible bug going around, bringing people in with dehydration as a result of sickness and diarrhoea. It was unpleasant and consisted of lots of IV drips and antibiotics. It had kept her busy though as she and the other staff had helped each other out to lighten the workload.

She'd kept in touch with Juice via text and phone calls since they'd last seen each other, he'd informed her that he was taking a trip out of town with a few of the boys from work, and so he wouldn't be able to hang out with her for a few days. He was supposedly returning today though, and Cate couldn't deny that she was a little excited about the idea of getting to see him. They were slowly getting to know more and more about each other with each day that passed and she couldn't fault him on anything. He was inquisitive by nature and always had lots to ask, he wanted to know _everything_ there was to know about her; from her favourite foods to her least favourite horror movie. There was a tension there and she was aware of it even when he wasn't in town. Most importantly, she trusted him. There was just something about him that made it easy to feel like she could trust him, plus, he'd seen her at her most weak and vulnerable moments, he'd seen her at her worst and he _still_ wanted to hang out with her. It was nice.

"Cate, we've got _another_ one.." Lisa commented with a laugh from over the desk of the nurses' station and Cate groaned lowly, tilting her head back to look up at the ceiling.

"Is this madness ever going to end?" She grumbled before pushing herself up to her feet. She squeezed some alcohol rub onto her hands and walked around to where Lisa was waiting whilst rubbing her wet hands together.

"She's got some tricky veins too.. Just warning ya.." Lisa commented and Cate gave her a deadpan look. They'd been getting on quite well since she'd returned to work and they'd even exchanged numbers so they could arrange to do something at some point. She'd thought it was about time to cut the girl some slack and give the friendship a chance. Cate followed Lisa over to the row of curtained bays where one was open, and a girl around her age was sat on the examination couch, holding a bowl on her lap. She looked _awful_ and she imagined the girl wasn't used to looking that bad. She was wearing a crop top which scooped low over her bust and a _tiny_ skirt, her face was caked in makeup but it was all messy and smudged since she was sweating quite badly.

"Good Afternoon.." Cate paused to look down at the chart that Lisa had handed to her. "Sandy.." Cate looked back towards the bleach blonde woman. "I'm Doctor Phillips.."

"Doc you gotta fix me.." The blonde whined before a dry heave suddenly caught her off guard. Cate grimaced slightly as she watched, before clearing her throat.

"Well.. I'm afraid nothing but _time_ is going to make this go away completely." Cate explained before looking back down at her notes which she flicked through. Thankfully one of the nurses had performed a urinalysis on the woman. "You've got a lot of ketones in your urine.. So you're pretty dehydrated. We'll likely run a 4 hour bag of fluids and see if that helps.." Cate paused as she skimmed over the rest of the documented results before looking back towards the woman. Something wasn't quite sitting right _and_ the pregnancy dip stick (which was routine in a urine dip testing) had come back to be positive. So Cate wondered if this was something completely different to the bug that had been spreading around. Cate pulled the curtain to give them some privacy and sat down on the wheeled chair, turning around so that she was facing the blonde. "Sandy, can you explain your symptoms to me please?" She asked. The blonde caught her eye and sighed, shrugging her shoulders.

"I've just been feeling _super_ sick.. Like, all of the time.. I can't even eat anything." She explained and Cate gave a slow nod in understanding.

"Have you had any diarrhoea?" Cate asked and the blonde suddenly turned her nose up.

"Gross.. No, I haven't.." She responded. Cate held back a laugh at her reaction.

"And how long have you had the sickness?" Cate wondered, drumming her fingers gently against the clipboard on her lap.

"I don't know, about a week or two.. But it's been way worse the last couple of days. That's why Luanne brought me in.." Sandy explained. Cate perked up then.. She recognised that name. She looked down at the personal information section of the paperwork. _**Cara Cara**_ It read under 'occupation'. So she was a porn star? That's when it clicked. She worked for Luanne.. Gemma's _friend_ Luanne.

"Sandy.. I think you might be pregnant." Cate explained slowly and softly and watched as the woman suddenly sat up straight, a shocked expression flickering over her face which now looked even paler than it had before.

"No.. That's stupid, I can't be.. I'm on the pill.." Sandy replied and Cate gave a small shrug of her shoulders.

"The contraceptive pill isn't fool proof.. Sure, it's 99 percent effective but only if it's used right.." Cate admitted, turning around slightly to pop the notes down on the desk before turning back around to face the blonde. "All it takes is missing a day or two.. Taking it at the wrong time.. _Or_ you're just that one percent where it doesn't work." Cate watched as the blonde shook her head, clearly in denial and she couldn't blame her for it. "Look.. I think that you're suffering with hyperemisis.." The look of confusion on the blonde's face was enough to say that she didn't understand Cate's medical terminology. "It's basically an _extreme_ form of morning sickness."

"I can't be.. I can't.." Sandy repeated, shaking her head, holding the bowl closer to her chest.

"Ok.. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to pop in a cannula, we're gonna take some blood samples so we can run some tests – see what your pregnancy hormones are like – and I'm gonna run a bag of fluids to get you nice and hydrated again.. It's also important to try and eat something when you feel like you can, OK?" Cate explained the plan of action and all the blonde did was nod slowly, clearly still in some sort of shock. "Ok.. Well, I'm gonna go get some bits and I'll be back in a minute." Cate stood up and left the cubicle, pulling the curtain closed behind her. She wandered over to an area where everything was stored and began to pop what she needed into a tray. Once she'd grabbed everything, Cate turned to make her way back to the curtain, only this time she noticed several sets of feet from behind it and could hear voices.

"You're pregnant?!" She heard the familiar voice of Luanne gasp from behind the curtain. "You silly, silly girl!" she continued and Cate couldn't help but grin slightly at the scolding the woman was receiving. Cate cleared her throat quietly and then pushed open the curtain completely so that she could walk through it, leaving it open so that it wasn't so crowded. Her gaze fell upon Luanne who seemed shocked to see her at first but then smile spread across her lips.

"Oh, it's you! Gemma's friend.. Cate right?" Luanne spoke and Cate nodded with a small smile.

"Yeah.. That's me." Cate responded before she glanced over at the other figure in the corner, he was a younger guy, one she didn't recognise. He was wearing a leather kutte similar to Juice's, only his said 'prospect'.

"Hi.." He said awkwardly, reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. Cate frowned slightly before returning her gaze to Luanne.

"I'm sorry but I kinda need some space here.." Cate explained and Luanne held up her hands with a smile and stepped back. Cate sat on her seat and rolled herself up close to Sandy. She was aware that both Luanne and the man were still stood at the entrance of the bay, but she'd allow it for now. "OK, Sandy, I'm going to put in a little cannula so we can give you those fluids and you'll feel a whole lot better for it, OK?" Cate explained whilst tightening a tourniquet just above the womans wrist. Lisa had been right when she said her veins were bad, so she'd aim for the juicy looking ones in the back of the hand. Once Cate was prepped with gloves and her sterile bits and pieces, she worked on cannulating the woman who seemed to sit really well considering. Cate managed it in one attempt, since she'd been used to cannulating in worse conditions than a nice hospital. She grabbed some blood bottles and connected it to the hub of the cannula, drawing some bloods.

"Oh, gross.." She heard Juice say from beside her. Cate finished filling one tube and then grabbed the other, attaching that next. Wait, Juice?! She quickly glanced to her side and saw Juice there with Luanne and the 'prospect'. "Hey, doc.." He greeted with a grin. Cate didn't know what to make of his unexpected appearance so she quickly finished what she was doing and dropped the blood bottles into the tray. She then dressed the cannula with an IV dressing and stood up.

"I'll have the results in a few hours, in the mean time I'll get one of the nurses to come in and set up a bag of fluids, OK?" Cate asked and Sandy nodded but couldn't speak, as a wretch wracked at her body. Cate gathered her things, placing the tray on top of her notes before she turned around to leave the bay. Luanne thanked her and returned to her employee's side. Cate caught Juice's gaze as she made her way out of the bay and she gestured with a nod of her head for him to follow her.

"I'll be right back.." She heard him say as she left, making her way out of the busy ER department and into an emptier hallway. She then made her way into an office where she popped her bits down on the table before turning around just in time to see Juice enter through the door and close it behind him. "What are we.." But he didn't have time to finish for Cate had flung her arms around his ribs and was hugging him tightly. She didn't quite know where it had come from but it had been what her body had wanted her to do. She felt him wrap his arms around her waist, pulling her tighter to him if that were even possible. "What's this for?" She heard him ask through a laugh by her ear and she just shrugged her shoulders, still holding herself against his chest.

"I guess I just kinda missed you, I don't know.." She mumbled into the leather of his kutte. She wasn't lying. It had been four days; four days of being alone at home when before she'd had Juice there for 2 evenings in a row and found herself really enjoying his company. Just when she'd gotten used to being around somebody, he'd had to go out of town and she was forced to be by herself again. Which was fine, but she felt like she was missing something. She wasn't able to laugh, or smile, or talk about nonsense. Hell, she'd even tried playing on the XBOX by herself and even that had been boring. They'd been texting from the minute she woke up to the second she went to bed, and he'd called her most nights, so she didn't feel _quite_ so alone.

"Awh.." She heard him say in a teasing voice and she pulled away from the embrace then, hitting her closed fist against his chest. "Hey, I was kidding.. It's nice.. I _kinda_ missed you too.." He told her with a sheepish smile and she felt a warmth rise to her cheeks.

"Don't let it get to your head.. I just missed having someone to play the XBOX with OK?" she teased, reaching up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear that had fallen from her messy ponytail.

"Yeah.. Whatever you say, doc.." He grinned and Cate rolled her eyes.

"What are you doing here anyway?" She asked, thinking back to why he'd appeared in the ER with her supposedly pregnant, porn star patient. She watched as he shrugged his shoulders then and tucked his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

"Well, uh.. Prospect was asked to come in with Luanne and Candy.. Or _Sandy_.." So Candy was her porn name, huh? Cate felt herself smile at the revelation, although it wasn't a tricky one to guess. "But I uh.. I offered to come with.. Just to be extra safe, y'know?" He explained, stumbling along with his explanation. Cate leant backwards and perched on the edge of her desk, crossing her arms across her chest as she looked up at him.

"Right.." She dragged out, feeling herself grin. "Because the hospital is _such_ an unsafe place to be.." She teased and watched as he grinned himself, that big old goofy grin she enjoyed seeing so much. "Saying that, I probably wouldn't wanna be here right now with that bug going around.." She suddenly thought, with a short laugh.

"Bug?" Juice suddenly asked, eyes wide.

"Yeah.. A big old _nasty_ bug.." She explained, watching his face as his expression changed. "But don't you worry.. The only people getting _this_ bug are people who aren't washing their hands.." Cate laughed as she noticed Juice suddenly relax. "So I don't think you've got anything to worry about.. Me, however.. I've been working with these poorly people _all day_.. I could be _totally_ contagious right now.." Cate knew she was only teasing, she had to follow strict hand hygiene anyway as a health professional, but she was super vigilant about that stuff anyway as a result of her OCD. And she knew Juice would likely be the same.

"Contagious, huh?" He asked curiously, a look of thought evident on his face as he took a few slow steps towards her.

"Yup.. Super contagious.." She began quietly. "In fact, you probably shouldn't even be in this room with me.. Or around me at all." She summed up, followed by a faux sad sigh. She wanted the complete opposite, now that he was back she was inwardly happy, as it meant she could hang out with him some more.

"Huh.. So I guess I should keep clear of you then, right?" He asked, and by the sounds of it he was playing along with her little rouse. Cate slumped and nodded her head, lowering it to look down at the ground. It was then she noticed Juice's feet appear in her sight; he was standing right in front of her now. She lifted her head slowly and looked up at him, her bright blue eyes meeting with his dark brown ones. "And I guess.." He began, and reached out his hands, placing them either side of the table beside her, trapping her between them. "I shouldn't really do this.." He continued as he leant in towards her. Cate could feel her heart going a hundred beats a minute, butterflies erupted in her stomach. He was going to kiss her and she was going to let him. It felt right and _God_ did she want it. Cate lowered her gaze to his mouth as he drew in closer.

Suddenly, the sound of the door being opened broke through their bubble and Juice jumped away from her and Cate shot to her feet, turning around quickly to look busy with the blood samples in her tray. "Cate?" She heard her colleague say and Cate clenched her teeth together in frustration before she replaced it with a smile and she turned around to see Lisa in the doorway, looking between both her and Juice, a knowing look in her eye.

"Hey, Lisa.. What can I do for you?" Cate asked quickly, casting a glance towards Juice who looked super uncomfortable, before looking back over at Lisa.

"You're needed to assist in theatre.. They want you scrubbed up." Lisa informed her and Cate gave a nod.

"Sure, Ok.. Can you label these up for me and get them to the labs? It's for Ca-Sandy, in bay 7.. She also needs some fluids, if you don't mind?" Cate asked, and walked over to the doorway, handing the tray and notes over to her colleague who nodded. She gave a look over Cate's shoulder at Juice, before looking at Cate with a shit-eating grin, before leaving them alone again. Cate cleared her throat. "So, I should probably.." Cate spoke as she turned around to face Juice, but was cut off by the feeling of his lips upon hers. It was quick kiss, like a couple of young teens kissing for the first time, but it had completely caught her off guard. Juice pulled back and Cate was silent, her gaze fixed upon his. He looked pleased, a small grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, dimples appearing in his cheeks. But she still felt stunned. "Well.." She breathed; biting down on her lower lip before a smile suddenly appeared. Sure, it had been delayed but it had taken a moment or two for the shock to wear off. Cate cleared her throat before speaking. "I should go.." she said whilst awkwardly gesturing with a thumb towards the door.

"Yeah, you go, doc.. Get back to work." He teased and Cate shook her head at him. She turned and walked out of the door and could hear him following behind her. "I'll call you later, Cate!" He called after her as she walked down the hall, but she didn't dare look back, she was too busy smiling like an _idiot._ What had just happened?!


	22. Chapter 22

AN: I'm back from my little trip! I'm so glad you all liked the last chapter and their first (innocent) kiss! I've been waiting so long to finally do that! So i think you'll enjoy this one even more! It's my longest chapter so far! Please let me know what you think! Enjoy x

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CHAPTER 22

Cate had found herself thinking about Juice and their innocent little kiss _all day_. When she wasn't busy with patients, she'd found herself slipping into daydreams and smiling like an idiot. Lisa had called her out on it several times and wouldn't stop teasing her about it. Of course Cate denied everything; she didn't want her personal business to be known by those she worked with. It was now the end of the shift and Cate was in the staff room packing up her things. She was done for the weekend and wasn't scheduled to work for the next 4 days; which would either be torture or a blessing, she wasn't quite sure yet.

"So, have you got any plans for this evening?" Lisa asked from beside her and Cate shook her head as she pulled the straps of her backpack up onto her shoulders.

"Nothing.. I'm probably just gonna go home and relax after today.." She paused to let out a laugh. "I think I'll be dreaming about cannulas and IV drips tonight." Cate joked and Lisa laughed. Their day had been full of IV's due to all their patients who were suffering with dehydration as a result of the stomach bug going around.

"Tell me about it.." Lisa grumbled and Cate looked towards her with a small smile as she reached into her pocket for her car keys, deciding to have them ready for when she got outside. "Me and a few of the nurses are going out for some drinks tonight.. You can come if you want.. It'll be fun.." Lisa offered. Cate bit the inside of her lip as she thought it over and fiddled with the keys in her hand. Hanging out with Lisa would be fine, but hanging out with several unknown nurses was another thing. Plus, she was exhausted after the day she'd had. However, another more positive inner voice made itself known. Maybe it would be nice to get out and do something? Maybe it would provide a positive and fun distraction? It would probably benefit her to start developing some sort of social life.

"You know what.. Yeah, why not?" Cate answered and Lisa looked shocked for a second.

"Really?" She questioned with eyebrows raised. Cate wasn't surprised by this reaction though, she'd been quite distant from her colleagues during her time there thus far.

"Yeah.. You seem shocked." Cate teased with a grin, closing her locker quietly.

"I am! I've been inviting you out for _ages_ and this is the first time I've had success!" The blonde nurse explained with a big smile before breaking out into a little laugh, which Cate joined in with.

"What can I say? I'm full of surprises these days.." Cate answered and it wasn't a total lie either, she'd surprised herself a lot lately, with making friends with Gemma and she didn't even know where to begin with Juice.

"Well, we're going straight from here.. But I see you drove.." Cate caught Lisa looking down at the car keys she'd been fiddling with in her hands.

"Oh.. Well, I'm not much of a drinker, so I'll drive.." Oh, the irony. If only Lisa knew that less than a week ago, Cate had drunk herself into oblivion and almost died as a result of choking on her own vomit.

"Cool! Let's go then, before you change your mind.." Lisa teased and Cate rolled her eyes, following the blonde out of the staff room. They made their way down a few corridors before reaching the main entrance of the hospital, which they walked out of. It was then; Cate noticed somebody sat on a motorcycle down at the kerb. It was Juice. "I'll give you a second.. I need a smoke anyway.." Lisa spoke quietly and a glance sideways towards the woman revealed that she was grinning at the doctor.

" _Thanks_.." Cate laughed quietly before parting ways with the nurse to walk down the steps towards the man on his bike. "What are _you_ doing here?" She broke the silence and he looked up at her from his phone, a grin suddenly spreading across his lips.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" He teased, tucking his phone into the pocket of his leather kutte.

"Oh, I don't know.. Turning up to my workplace twice in one day is a bit much.." Cate adopted his teasing tone, shifting her weight onto her left leg, her right knee feeling a little sore today. "You stalking me, Juice?" she observed his reaction, his grin not once leaving his face.

"Oh yeah, _totally_.." He answered and Cate rolled her eyes. Obviously she knew he wasn't, but the teasing was enjoyable, and he reciprocated which made it even better. There was an obvious tension in the air, well, it was obvious to her. She felt confident when she was near him and felt butterflies in her stomach. She was _extremely_ attracted to him, there was no denying it. "Making friends, doc?" He asked then, taking on a slightly more serious tone than before, but he still had a small smile on his face. Cate glanced over her shoulder to where Lisa was stood, cigarette in one hand, phone in the other. Cate looked back towards Juice and smiled shrugging her shoulders.

"I guess.. She's been trying to get to know me the whole time I've been here.. I finally caved." She joked, reaching up to push her hair behind her ears, fully aware that Juice was watching her every move intently. "She invited me out tonight with some of the other nurses.. So I thought I'd tag along.. Try and be sociable." Juice laughed quietly and Cate smiled in response to his reaction. He was _so_ cute, the way his cheeks dimpled and eyes wrinkled at the sides.

"Glad to hear it, doc.. It'll be good for you to get out with someone who _isn't_ Gemma.." He paused then, eyebrows raising as if he'd just realised what he'd said. "Not that Gemma is awful, or bad in any way.. I mean.." He began to stumble over his words and Cate laughed.

"Don't worry, Juice.. She's not here, she can't hear you.." Cate joked and he rolled his eyes then before a silence fell between them. "What are you really doing here?" She asked before bringing her bottom lip between her teeth to nibble on out of habit. She noticed his gaze flicker downwards towards her mouth, before looking back up to catch her gaze. She saw him noticeably take a gulp.

"I just thought I'd see you.. Since I've been away for a few days.." He answered lowly.

"You saw me earlier, did you not?" she challenged, trying to stay serious but she felt the start of a smile tug at the corners of her mouth and he must've noticed this because he started to grin himself.

"Yeah, I know.. I wanted to see you again. You gonna give me a hard time over it?" Juice teased. Cate's smile widened and she lowered her head to look at her feet for a moment before looking back up at him.

"I won't do that.." She answered and another silence ensued where Cate felt as though the tension had just been turned up even higher. He stood from his bike then and she was sure he was about to take a step towards her when she heard Lisa clear her throat from behind. Damn Lisa! It was exactly the same as what had happened earlier when Lisa had stepped into the office during an _almost_ intimate moment.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we're gonna be late.." Lisa informed them and Cate slowly nodded her head, looking towards the blonde before turning back around to look at Juice.

"I'll see you later?" Cate said and Juice smiled at her, nodding his head.

"For sure.." He confirmed and Cate smiled in return before she reluctantly left Juice and left with Lisa, who she walked alongside.

"I coulda cut that tension with a _knife_.." The blonde teased and Cate groaned out loud.

"Not another word about it.." She warned with a quick laugh and they continued their walk towards the bar.

The drinks hadn't been _awful_. The girls she'd ended up going out with were all pretty decent girls. She'd worked with some of them down in the ER but there were several unfamiliar faces in the group of 6, excluding herself and Lisa. They'd spent an hour or so just chatting about normal stuff and drinks had been passed around the table. At first, Cate had denied a drink and stuck to Diet Coke but Lisa had encouraged her to have a _'proper drink'_ and Cate had obliged, not wanting to offend her new acquaintances. Plus, Lisa had already bought the drink and Cate didn't want her money to go to waste. So now, she was about three cocktails in and was feeling just a little bit woozy. She knew she'd have to stop and was preparing to order a glass of water next.

"So, _Cate.._ " A brunette named Mandy from across the table spoke up. Cate had gotten some negative vibes from this woman. She wasn't a nurse at their hospital; apparently she'd been employed by them previous but had left on her own accord. Cate had decided that this woman seemed nasty. She'd gotten the impression in the brief time they'd spent together that this woman was used to getting what she wanted and was a fake friendly. There was just something about her. "I've heard some pretty interesting rumours about you.." She continued and Cate felt her brow rise slightly. She noticed the woman next to Mandy mutter something to her and then Mandy shook her head and hissed something back at her. Perhaps the woman was trying to tell Mandy to stop before she said something she'd regret?

"Oh yeah?" Cate answered uninterestedly, bringing her glass up to her mouth to take a small sip of her drink. A slow smirk pulled at Mandy's lips.

"Yeah.. I heard you were in the army, right?" Mandy questioned and Cate immediately felt her stomach drop. She _knew_ she was going to say that. She just knew it. Sure, some people in the hospital knew about her past, but not many of them and most of them had the decency to not bring it up.

"Mandy.." Lisa warned from Cate's side and Cate shook her head, resting her hand briefly on Lisa's arm, implying that it was ok.

"Yeah, I was.." Cate answered, dragging her gaze back towards the brunette across the table.

"Isn't that a bit of a manly job to have?" Mandy questioned and Cate suddenly let out a loud laugh before realising she even had. Mandy looked offended, her brows rising.

"Manly?" Cate managed to get out once she'd stopped laughing.

"Yes.. _Manly_. I don't get what's so funny.." Mandy answered, frowning towards her but Cate didn't care. She was feeling quite defensive at this point.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't realise we were still in the 1920's.." Cate responded quite bitterly, not being able to hold it in. Mandy seemed to pause for a moment, it looked as though she were trying to figure out what to say.

"You shouldn't judge me for having an opinion, Cate.. That's not cool." Mandy finally bit back.

"Ok, let's talk about something else shall we?" Cate heard one of the other ladies say, but she wasn't going to comply.

"You know what's not cool? Your outdated and _sexist_ opinion.." Cate was angry now; another symptom of her PTSD. "Women have just as much of a right to serve, as men do.." she stated, watching the brunette across the table who narrowed her eyes towards Cate.

"Whatever you say, sweetheart.." She answered in a patronising voice and Cate felt her own hand tighten into a fist on her lap beneath the table, whilst her other still held her glass. "Clearly she wasn't cut out for it if she quit and she's working here now, right?" Cate heard Mandy mumble to the girls either side of her, who looked quite uncomfortable. Cate suddenly shot up in her seat, the chair tipping back behind her as a result of her getting up so quick. Everyone looked at her now.

"Don't you _dare_ talk about something you have _no_ idea about!" Cate's voice was raised now, and she was aware of some of the chatter from other tables dying down slightly. "I saw things you couldn't even begin to imagine.. I was out there for _four_ years.. I saved people's lives.. I saved brothers, sisters, sons, daughters.. I almost got killed saving the men _and_ women who fight for people like _you.._ " Cate growled, hands in fists at her sides, fingernails digging painfully into the palms of her hands.

"Whatever, you _psycho_.." Mandy scoffed and that was it for Cate.

"Fuck you!" she snapped, slamming her hand down onto the table. She hadn't been looking and she'd managed to catch the glass under her hand as she slammed it, the glass shattering into pieces beneath her palm. Everyone had gasped and Cate lowered her gaze to her now bleeding hand. It barely even hurt as she was so focused on her anger towards the brunette.

"Cate!" Lisa gasped from her side, standing beside her, reaching for her hand. But Cate pulled her hand back, away from the concerned woman.

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry ladies.." Cate murmured and bent down to collect her bag from the ground.

"What's going on here?" she heard a man ask from behind her, and Cate turned around to face him. He was likely an employee or manager, she couldn't quite tell.

"I was just leaving.." Cate answered quietly, turning to leave.

"Hey, dude.. That silly bitch down there was saying all sorts of shit about military vets.." She heard another man say and she turned her hand to glance towards a table of middle aged men all sat together. They were defending her? The man directed his attention towards her next. "You did good defending yourself.. Thank you for what you did for us out there." He was _so_ sincere and Cate felt a lump in her throat. She simply gave him a small nod before she turned on her heel and made her way out of the bar, weaving around tables before she finally found the exit and walked out of it, ignoring Lisa who'd called after her just a couple of times.

Once she was outside she felt the pressure leave, which had been suffocating her, and she took in a deep and shaky breath. She wanted to cry; she felt as though she could, but she bit down hard on her lip and clenched her fists at her side. She gasped suddenly at the pain in her right hand, forgetting she'd injured it on the broken glass. "Shit.." She hissed, opening her hand and looking down at her palm which had some cuts over it and she was sure she could see some glass. With a steady hand she reached in and picked out the glass that she could see before shrugging off her hoodie which she then wrapped around her hand to keep it from bleeding. She could sort it out once she was at home. It was likely bleeding more due to the fact that she'd been drinking alcohol. Alcohol thinned the blood.

Cate walked down the road until she was a good enough distance away from the bar, and she sat down on a wall and reached into her pocket to retrieve her phone. She called the only person she could think of in that moment. She held the phone to her ear and waited. When he answered she was greeted with the sound of music and loud chatter in the background.

"Hello?!" He called over the noise, and Cate had to pull he phone away from her ear a little bit.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were busy.." She grumbled into the phone.

"No! No, I'm not busy.." He began and she heard the background noise get quieter, followed by the opening and closing of a door. "Are you alright? Did you have a good time?" He asked and Cate involuntarily let out a bitter laugh.

"Oh yeah.. _wonderful_.." She sighed.

"What happened?" he asked with a voice full of concern which would have made her smile if she wasn't feeling so miserable.

"Could you come and get me?" She asked after a moment of hesitation. "If you're too busy I'll just walk or something.." She couldn't drive home; not after some drinks and especially not with an injured hand. She'd have to collect her car tomorrow.

"No, don't walk _anywhere_.. Where are you? I'll come and get'cha.." Cate told him where she was and they ended their phone call.

She'd only been waiting around ten minutes or so when she heard the familiar sound of a motorcycle rip through the quiet night air. She turned her head in the direction and saw him come down the street, where he then pulled over to the kerb where she was waiting. She immediately walked over to him and took the helmet from his hand and climbed onto the back of the rumbling bike. She didn't want to stop and chat in the street; she just wanted to get home to her safe zone.

And not long after, they'd arrived at her house. The engine cut off and she was met with the calming silence of the night.

"Do you want to come in?" She asked as she unlocked her front door, turning her head to look at Juice who was already stood behind her.

"Sure." He answered and Cate pushed open the door, stepping in first before holding the door open for him. She watched as he entered and he immediately shrugged off his kutte and hoodie leaving him in just a black t-shirt which clung to his torso perfectly. Cate swallowed before closing the front door. "What happened to your hand?" he suddenly asked, she imagined he'd been itching to find out from the second he'd seen her with her jacket wrapped around her hand. Cate turned to face him, noticing a concerned expression upon his features. She chewed on her lip and made her way into the kitchen, aware that he was following her by the sound of his footsteps behind her.

"I slammed my hand down onto a table.. Didn't realise it was above a glass until.. _smash_.." She sighed, unwrapping her hoodie from her hand once she was in the kitchen. She turned on the tap and placed her hand beneath it, wincing instantly as the water invaded her cuts and washed over them, making it sting.

"Jesus, are you OK?" She heard him ask from close behind her and seconds later she noticed him appear at her side in her peripheral vision. She watched as his hands reached out into the sink to grab her hand gently where she assumed he was examining it. "It doesn't look _so_ bad.." He commented and Cate couldn't help but smile slightly.

"Is that your professional opinion?" She asked, turning her head to look at him, smiling as he looked down and caught her gaze.

"Well, I don't know.. You're the doctor, right?" He teased with his big grin and Cate laughed quietly, looking back down at her hand which he'd now let go of. She lowered her head to get a closer look at it as the water cleaned her hand of the blood. It wasn't bad at all; they were all superficial cuts and wouldn't need any stitches.

"Well, you're right.. I think I got lucky with this one." She commented before reaching forward to turn off the water. "Would you mind grabbing my kit from under the stairs? It's in a green bag.." She asked and within seconds he'd gone to get it. Cate left the kitchen and headed into her living room, passing by Juice and the open cupboard on the way. She got down onto her knees in front of her coffee table, jolting slightly as something in her knee pinched but it soon passed once it got used to being knelt on. Juice returned with her bag, setting it down on the coffee table before he sat down on the sofa next to where she was on the ground. Cate unzipped the bag and began to get some bits together.

"So what happened?" He asked quietly, leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees.

"Some _bitch_ started saying stuff about the military. How women shouldn't be there.. How I couldn't handle it because I _left_.." She sneered as she remembered the expression on the woman's face. At the same time, Cate swept an antiseptic wipe over her hand, making all of her cuts burn but she welcomed the sting.

"She said _what_?" Juice sounded almost as annoyed as Cate felt and she scoffed, giving a nod of her head.

"Yup.. So I kinda lost my shit.. Did _this.._ " She gestured with her hand. "And promptly left.." She finished with a shrug of her shoulders. "She called me a psycho." Cate added glumly, keeping her gaze fixed on her hand as she began to dress it. She hated to admit it, but it really got to her when people said stuff like that to her. She hated being called crazy, psycho, nuts.. Any of that. She wasn't any of them. She was just troubled from a traumatic experience.

"Hey.. You're not a psycho.." She heard him say quietly and then felt his hand on her shoulder in a comforting gesture. Cate stilled for a moment before finishing with her bandage which she taped in place. "You're _badass_.." He added and Cate felt her serious expression break into a smile. She turned her head to look up at him on his position on the sofa.

"Shouldn't you be the badass? With all the tattoos and leather?" She joked and felt herself warm as she watched him grin her favourite grin.

"Who says I'm not?" he said in an almost serious tone of voice and Cate laughed, shaking her head as she glanced down at the ground before looking back up at him. He was staring down at her now and she was aware of that familiar feeling of heavy tension weighing down on her again. He reached out slowly and she felt him cup her face with one hand, sweeping his thumb gently over the area of her cheek where she knew she had 2 of her most noticeable scars; straight, white and smooth in appearance. She watched as his gaze lowered to the area of her cheek that he was stroking before his gaze met hers again; dark and intense, but soft at the same time. Her chest felt heavy and butterflies brushed against the lining of her stomach; it was as if he were staring right through her, right through her scars and her walls.

Slowly, she noticed him leaning down to her and she pushed herself up onto her knees to meet him, ignoring the protest her injured knee was giving. His other hand reached up so that he was now cupping her face between both of his large hands, his fingers spread through the roots of her dark hair. Her gaze automatically lowered to his lips and seconds later he'd pushed them against her own. Her eyes closed out of instinct as his lips moved slowly against hers and she reciprocated. There was nobody to interrupt them this time and she was glad for it. She couldn't even begin to explain how it felt to have his lips against hers, to be kissing him the way she was. It was soft and gentle, their lips moving against one another's perfectly. She lifted her own hands to rest behind his neck, his skin warm against her one hand, the other covered with bandage. The kiss got more intense, his tongue seeking entrance between her lips which she allowed and returned with fervor. She hadn't kissed a man in a long time and it was as if all her pent up emotions were slowly starting to leak out into her actions. She heard him groan deep in his throat and the sound had her feeling warm in her most intimate areas.

His hands moved to her waist and he pulled her up off the floor and onto his lap in one swift movement, hands wrapping around her lower back, holding her close. She lifted her own hands to cup his face, her fingers drifting over the stubble of his shaved head. The kiss was getting hot and heavy, she was aware of the feeling of something growing within his jeans against her leg and she couldn't help but grin into the kiss, pulling away slightly for breath. She opened her eyes to see that his were open too and he was grinning back at her. However, just as he was about to push his mouth back against hers, the sound of a phone ringing broke through the silence. She sighed and rested her head against his forehead, rolling her head sideways to look towards his kutte which she determined to be the source of the ringing. She heard him groan and she couldn't help but smile. She looked back down at him before pushing herself off his lap and up onto her feet. As he reached for his phone, she turned around to face her medical pack on the table, which she started to tidy away as a way to distract herself, trying to control her racing heart in the process.

"Oh, right _now_?" She heard Juice say into the phone and she sunk her teeth into her bottom lip as she wandered over to the cupboard under the staircase, opening it and placing the pack on the ground inside. She stepped back and shut the door before turning back around. Juice was just hanging up his phone, reaching up to rub his hand over his face in what seemed like a frustrated gesture.

"Everything ok?" she asked from her position by the cupboard, reaching down to tuck her fingers into the front pockets of her jeans. He looked up at her then and gave her a small smile, nodding his head.

"Yeah, everything's fine.." He answered, pushing himself up to his feet as he spoke. "I've gotta go though.. Something's happened at the party, they want me there.." He explained glumly and Cate gave a little nod, smiling slightly. She didn't fail to notice him awkwardly pulling at his jeans and she bit her lip to hide the grin.

"It's OK.." She said with a shrug of her shoulders. "Thanks for bringing me home.." She added with a tilt of her head, watching as he shrugged on his hoodie and kutte. He then turned to face her and took some steps towards her.

"It's fine.. I actually like having you on the back of my bike.." He admitted and Cate gave a small laugh.

"Thanks?" She responded and he laughed at her, before falling silent again. She watched him, taking in all the little details of his appearance. She met his gaze and he suddenly took some swift steps towards her, closing the space between them. He took her face in his hands and pushed his lips against hers, giving her one last firm kiss, which she returned immediately. They broke away from each other slowly, faces lingering close to one another.

"I have to go.." He breathed, eyes fixed on hers.

"Yeah.. You need to go.." She answered with a small nod of her head. But he kissed her again, almost as desperately as the previous one, his fingers wrapped amongst her hair in a firm grip, holding her close. Cate was the one to break this kiss and she laughed against his mouth before she pulled away. "Go!" She demanded, pushing him away from her. Juice grinned at her and held his hands up in surrender.

"I'm gone!" He answered, walking backwards as he watched her, but he stumbled on the edge of her rug and she broke out in laughter.

"Go, you _nerd_.." She said through laughter, ushering him towards the front door which she opened once she reached it.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" He asked as he stopped in the doorway, turning to face her one last time.

"Yes. Now _leave_.." She told him. He flashed his wide grin before he left her house and she closed the door behind him immediately. Cate wandered into her living room and dropped down onto the sofa, in the background she heard the rumbling of his engine outside. She'd kissed Juice _twice_ in one day.. And it had been amazing. She felt herself smile and she laughed out loud to herself, shaking her head. What an interesting day and a pleasant end to a somewhat terrible evening.


	23. Chapter 23

AN: I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter and their little intimate moment before it got interrupted! Here's another update for you because I simply can't resist! Thanks for the follows, favourites and reviews thus far enjoy! X

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CHAPTER 23

A shrill ringing in her ear woke Cate from her peaceful slumber. With her eyes closed and face buried into her pillow, she reached out her hand and patted around the bedside cabinet blindly until she found the device. She accepted the call and lifted the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" She asked groggily, turning so that she was now lying on her back.

"Mornin' Cate, it's me.." She recognised his voice immediately. It was Wayne. "Did I wake ya?" Cate perked up, reaching up with her free hands to rub at her sleepy eyes.

"Kinda.. Is everything ok?" She asked, finding it unusual that he was calling her. He very rarely called her, it was often her reaching out to him.

"Well, we had someone come in to file a complaint about you this morning.. Are you able to come down to the station for a chat?" His voice sounded and Cate's eyes suddenly shot open and she pushed herself up into a sitting position.

"A complaint? About what? By who?" Cate questioned hurriedly, shocked as to why someone had thought it was necessary to tell the police about something she'd supposedly done.

"Look, you're not in trouble.. I'd just like you to come down so we can have a chat. Alright?" He sounded like a reprimanding father. Cate sighed out loud and nodded her head, despite the fact he couldn't see this gesture.

"Sure.. I'll be there soon." She hung up the phone then and dropped it onto the mattress beside her. What a way to start her first day off. Cate groaned and pushed herself out of bed where she made a start at getting ready. She changed into some yoga pants and a cropped sports top; deciding she'd combine a morning run with her visit to see Wayne. After dressing, she pulled her hair up into a messy ponytail, grabbed her phone and car keys and then left the house. She noted that Gemma's car wasn't outside; she'd not seen her since the night of her accident and was beginning to wonder if everything was OK. Perhaps seeing her like that had made Gemma second guess whether she wanted to be friends with her? She wasn't quite sure but she hoped not. She liked Gemma and her quirks.

Cate took off down the street in a steady-paced run, immediately feeling refreshed as she exerted her energy on the task at hand. It didn't take her long to get into town, and once she was within the centre she slowed down and walked through the area instead of running. She heard her phone go off, alerting her of a text message. So as she walked, she looked down at her phone and smiled instantly as she saw she had a text from Juice.

 _J: So what r u doing 2day?_

Cate sighed and glanced up, noticing that she was nearing the station at that point.

 _C: Atm the police station. Someone reported me for something._

Cate replied and then popped her phone onto silent as she made her way up the steps and into the police station. The air conditioning caressed her sticky skin immediately and she was quite thankful for the brief chill across her skin. Cate's gaze fell upon the Deputy who was sat behind a desk and she had to resist rolling her eyes at the sight of him.

"I'm here to see Wayne.. He's expecting me.." Cate made her presence known and watched as the Deputy looked up from his paperwork and sat further back in his seat. He gestured with his hand towards the office she knew belonged to Wayne.

"Be my guest.." He answered in almost a patronising tone of voice. Cate gave him a forced smile before walking past him and down the corridor towards Wayne's office. The door was open and she could see him sat behind his desk, talking to somebody else within the office. Cate tapped her knuckles against the door and Wayne looked towards her and stood up behind his desk.

"Cate, come on in." He said, gesturing into his office. Cate stepped into his office and took a casual glance towards the left where she immediately heard herself groan.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, stopping in her tracks as she looked over at the man Wayne had clearly been speaking with before her arrival.

"Take a seat, Cate.. We just want to chat." Wayne insisted. However, Cate's gaze remained locked on her psychotherapist who was sat on a chair in the corner of the room.

"You've been missing sessions, Cate.. I've been worried." He told her from his corner of the room and Cate felt herself clench her teeth. She'd had some missed calls and voicemails from him, which she had ignored. She'd sent him a brief message saying she didn't want to have any further sessions with him, as she found that they weren't useful or helping her.

"Is this why we're here?" She asked, dragging her gaze away from Ross and over to Wayne, her arms crossing over her chest. "Is he the one who ' _reported'_ me?" She asked and Wayne sighed and shook his head.

"A young lady came in and informed me about some drunken behaviour from yourself last night.. We got some a witness saying you knocked over a chair and smashed a glass whilst being quite.. _verbal_." Wayne explained and it suddenly all made sense. Mandy had been the one to make a report about her. All because she didn't like being made a fool of or being in the wrong? Cate let out a bitter laugh and shook her head.

"That's not what happened.. _exactly_.. But I'm still confused as to why Ross is here.." She admitted, casting another glance over at the therapist.

"Hale took it upon himself to call Ross here.." Suddenly, Cate felt anger rush through her veins. How dare he do that! How dare he snoop where he had no right to snoop?

"He what?" she questioned lowly.

"He was concerned about your behaviour.. I don't know.." It seemed like Wayne hadn't agreed on Hale's tactic but it made her no less angry.

"Cate.. You know you shouldn't be drinking.." She heard Ross speak from her side and she lowered her hands to her side, resisting the urge to tighten her hands into fists.

"I'm an adult, I can do whatever I want.." She growled towards him before looking back at Wayne. "Last night I went for drinks with my _colleagues_. Mandy thought it was a good idea to voice her opinion on how women shouldn't be in the armed forces and how I'm a _coward_ for quitting. I got mad, yes. The glass was an accident, I put my hand down a little too hard and it broke. The chair got knocked over because I stood up too quick. All I did was defend _myself_ and the other women who serve every day." Cate explained, taking a deep breath to try and calm herself. "If you want proof, you can call Lisa Greenway or find out who the men were at the other table who _thanked_ me for my service and saw how Mandy was behaving towards me." She continued. "That's my official statement and it's all I have to say." Wayne watched her thoughtfully, a sympathetic look in his eyes. He understood what had happened. She imagined that he hadn't expected her to have been a drunken mess anyway and was just getting her in due to protocol.

"Anger isn't a good sign, Cate.. You need help getting that under control. I was helping you wasn't I? You should really attend our sessions.." Ross spoke and Cate felt that rush of anger return deep within her stomach.

"I don't _need_ to do anything. My anger is completely under control. This _Mandy_ was a nasty woman.. I had every right to be angry." She snapped at the therapist. "If anything, I should be angry at _you_ for calling me all the time when I already told you I wouldn't be attending your sessions anymore." She watched as he swallowed and shifted in his seat.

"What was that?" She heard Wayne ask and she looked over at him, resting her hands on her hips.

"Yeah.. I texted him not long after our chat saying I didn't want to continue the sessions anymore because they weren't helpful. Since then, I've had _several_ calls and voicemails. Haven't I Ross?" She finished with a question, looking back over at him as he glanced between her and Wayne.

"I was just concerned about your wellbeing, Cate.." He commented after a moment of hesitation and she couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes.

"Well, here I am. I'm fine. Now you can _stop_ calling me." She said firmly before looking back at Wayne. "Can I go now?" she asked, moving her car keys between her fingers.

"Sure thing, sweetheart. I'm sorry for bringing you in.." Wayne answered softly and gave a nod of his head. Cate didn't even bother looking back towards Ross, she just turned on her heel and left the office. As she neared the end of the hallway, she couldn't help but sneer towards Hale who was now perched upon his desk, arms crossed over his chest.

"Everything alright, Doctor Phillips?" He asked, and she didn't miss the underlying sarcasm in his tone. So subtle you'd miss it if you weren't paying attention.

"If you _ever_ get involved in my personal business again, you _will_ regret it." She told him lowly through a smile, so that if anyone were to see them, they'd think they were having a friendly conversation. She wasn't stupid and she _wasn't_ to be messed with. Sure, she had her vulnerabilities but the army had made her strong. Yes, she'd come out of it with PTSD, but it didn't control everything about her. She was still a person with her own characteristics and attitudes.

"Is that a threat?" He asked, eyebrows rising, making his forehead wrinkle. Cate's smile widened and she shook her head.

"Of course not.. You have a good day." She finished before walking past him and leaving the station completely. Once she was outside she sucked in a deep breath and let out an irritated groan.

"Good mornin', Jailbird.." She heard a familiar voice and she instantly smiled. A look towards the parking lot revealed Juice, leaning against his bike. She noticed his eyes drift over her body; likely due to her attire, before settling back on her own gaze.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she walked down the steps, turning once she was at the bottom to walk towards Juice and his bike.

"You said you were gonna be here, that somethin' had happened, I wanted to make sure you were alright.." He explained with a shrug of his shoulders as if it wasn't a big deal. But to her it was. He was being supportive of her even when he didn't know what it was about. She didn't even ask for him to be there, yet he'd come on his own accord. It was sweet and she couldn't fault him for it. Cate smiled at him and crossed her arms as she stood facing him.

"I'm fine.. Just getting charged for possession with intent to distribute.. No biggie." She joked with a shrug of her shoulders and she watched as his facial expression changed into one of shock, his brows rising.

"You deal?" He questioned, his voice full of surprise. Cate frowned playfully and gave a small tilt of her head.

" _Really?_ " She questioned whilst raising an eyebrow towards him and expression suddenly changed as he caught on with her joke. "My god, you're _so_ gullible." She teased and he frowned at her.

"Cut me some slack.. I'm tired!" He explained and Cate rolled her eyes, a gentle laugh soon spilled from between her lips. "What really happened?" he asked.

"That girl from last night decided she wanted to try and make a big deal out of what happened.." She explained with a sigh, reaching up to tighten her messy ponytail.

"What a bitch.." Juice added and Cate gave a nod of her head.

"The biggest." She confirmed, lowering her hands to rest on her exposed hips. She noticed Juice's gaze followed her hands, before his gaze slowly travelled back up the length of her torso before settling on her eyes again. His look made her become faintly aware of the subtle butterflies in her stomach and she felt a little hot under her metaphorical collar. Out of nervous habit, she brought the corner of her lower lip between her teeth.

"You gotta stop doin' that.." Juice grumbled and Cate gave a tilt of her head in a questioning manner.

"Doing what?" But just as she asked the question, she answered it mentally. Did he like how she bit her lip? It was her nervous tick, how could it be hot?! She bit it again, but only for a second, before she released it from between her teeth.

" _That_.." He grumbled and suddenly reached for her hips, pulling her towards him. She laughed at his sudden action, stumbling into his front. She had to lift her hands and press against his chest to stop herself from tripping completely. He was so forward, but she liked it. She lifted her head to look up at him and he was leaning down to meet her face when she heard someone clear their throat from behind. Cate sighed and turned her head to the side, not bothering to move away from Juice completely, his hands still on her hips. It was Hale and Ross, who were stood at the entrance to the station and the top of the steps. Cate narrowed her eyes and without even noticing, she'd curled her fingers tightly into the leather of Juice's kutte.

She noticed Ross staring down at her intently, a look of what almost seemed like hurt on his features. His gaze seemed to be drifting over her and when it lowered to her hips, a look of disgust briefly flashed across his features. He'd likely seen Juice's hands on her hips. But why was he reacting that way? Was he disapproving of him? Was he jealous? No, surely not.. That would be _weird_. Hale, however, looked smug and was looking down his nose at them.

"No loitering.." He commented and Cate scoffed. "Something funny?" He questioned, shifting his weight onto one leg, his thumbs resting in his utility belt.

"A lot of things.. But I shouldn't really say.." She chirped back, flashing him a quick smile before she turned to look back up at Juice who was still looking up at the men. "Wanna get out of here?" She suggested quietly and he looked down at her before nodding his head, giving her hips a squeeze before letting go. He climbed onto his bike and she followed, grabbing the spare helmet which she popped onto her head and secured before Juice left the parking lot, leaving a bewildered Ross and Hale behind.


	24. Chapter 24

AN: I'm at work and busy all weekend so here's an update now! Hope you're all still reading along and enjoying this fic? Here's a bit of Care & Juice fluff for you! Jade x

CHAPTER 24

They weren't on the road for very long before Juice took an exit up a dirt track which lead them to the top of some hills. He pulled over to park and shut off his engine and Cate waited for him to kick down the stand to support the bike before she climbed off. She unclipped the helmet and propped it on the back of the bike before walking forwards, wandering over to the edge of the little cliff overlooking the hills. Cate leant forward, resting her elbows on the wooden fence, looking out at the view. It was a beautiful sight, the late morning sun high in the sky illuminating everything in sight. She heard the gravel crunch behind her and was aware of Juice's presence beside her, he had his back turned to the view however and was resting his back against the fence. She glanced up to see that he was looking down at her.

"What was that back there with Hale?" He questioned. Cate gave a shrug of her shoulders and stood back up, straightening her posture.

"He doesn't like me and I don't like him much either.. I think he's an arrogant asshole." Cate admitted and she heard Juice laugh, the sound making her smile. She climbed over the wooden railing so that she was on the other side of it and then sat down rather uncomfortably on the horizontal wooden railing, looking out over the view again.

"I get that.. He doesn't like us much either.." Juice answered and Cate looked sideways at him, raising her left brow slightly.

"Why not?" She asked out of curiosity. And Juice suddenly looked towards her, as if he'd realised something.

"Oh.. I mean.. He doesn't like _me_ much.. A few speeding tickets here and there, y'know?" He answered and Cate frowned slightly. She felt like that wasn't what he'd meant initially but what would he have to hide? Why would he want to lie about it? So she shrugged it off and assumed it was a mix up of words. It was quiet for a moment before she heard him clear his throat and heard gravel crunch beneath his feet as he shuffled. "Who was the other dude? He looked _mad_.." Juice questioned.

"That was my therapist.." She admitted, her gaze following a bird that had come into her view in the distance. "Hale decided to call him in after hearing what had happened last night. I'm really not happy about it.." She admitted lowly, sighing heavily as she tilted her head back, looking up at the clear blue sky above her. "Even more so considering I don't even see Ross anymore, y'know?" She added. She and Juice had discussed it over one of their phone calls whilst he'd been away, about how she'd decided she didn't want to see him anymore. "He's not stopped calling since then.. And he turned up today acting as if I was still expected to be attending his sessions, like I hadn't told him or something." She let out a slight laugh and looked back down over at Juice who was now frowning.

"He's been callin' you?" He questioned, straightening up slightly.

"Yeah.. A few times. I've ignored them and he'll just leave messages about how he _really_ thinks his sessions are good for me and that I should reconsider." She shrugged her shoulders and noticed he was still frowning. "What's up?" She asked quietly, feeling a little concerned.

"The dude just sounds a little creepy.." Juice admitted and Cate gave a nod in agreement. "You'll tell me if it carries on?" He asked, concern lacing his own voice and Cate smiled slightly, nodding her head again.

"Of course.." She agreed and his frown dissipated and he replaced it with a small smile. "You're really sweet, you know that?" Cate told him and watched as a subtle blush spread over his cheeks and he rolled his eyes at her.

"I'm not sweet.. Don't let the boys hear you sayin' that.." He joked, looking around and acting paranoid as if someone had heard her say it. She laughed at his goofy behaviour and hit his chest gently. He laughed in return and looked back at her.

"I mean it though.. It's nice to have someone around who seems to care." Cate admitted lowly, looking down at her hands which rested in her lap, her fingers tapping against her thighs.

"I do care.. I like spending time with you, Cate.. You're _different_." She heard him say gently and she couldn't stop herself from smiling but she bit on her lower lip to contain it slightly.

"Oh gee, thanks.." She teased and she heard him laugh, her gaze still fixed on her fingers.

"You know what I mean.. You're _real_.. I can't explain it, I don't know.." He stammered awkwardly and it was Cate's turn to laugh. She looked up at him and caught his gaze, a small grin evident on his mouth.

"I know what you mean.." She agreed quietly, eyes still locked with his. Before she even had time to register what was going to happen, Juice had swept in and pressed his lips gently against her own. It was awkward positioning, with her back to him and her head tilted sideways but they made it work. She felt his hand rest against the side of her head as he held her in place, their lips moving together perfectly. When he kissed her, her brain stopped working and all she could think about was the then and now, the moment she was in when she was kissing him. The way her body came to life and her nerve endings sparked with energy. She pulled away for breath, their foreheads pressed against one another. She caught his gaze and they seemed to both break out into smiles.

"I could do that _all_ day.." He said in a low, gruff voice, one that made her feel warm down in her intimate area. She swallowed hard and smiled.

"Then do it.." She challenged and she heard him groan from low in his throat before he swiftly moved to take her lips with his again. This time it was more desperate and he was more _grabby_ , not that she was complaining. He lowered his hands to her thighs and supported her as she twisted around, having to lift her leg to get back over the fence to fact him front on. She was now sat on the fence facing him and within seconds he found his place between her legs and she reached up to run her hands to the back of his head where she held him, keeping his face against hers as their kiss deepened. She felt his hands on her face and he gently tilted her head back, his mouth trailing kisses from her lips and over her chin. She found herself tilting her head back and to the side, allowing him access to her sensitive neck which he pressed open-mouthed kisses against. She could hear her heavy breaths in her own ears, could hear the wild thudding of her heart in her chest. She'd not felt anything like this before with previous men in her past, this was intimate and passionate and the kisses on her neck alone were enough to make her underwear feel damp.

She felt his fingers tighten on her waist, the rough skin of his calloused hands brought goosebumps to the bare skin of her waist, since she'd left the house in her cropped sports top. His skin on hers felt wonderful, he was warm and left a trail of heat behind. A dog barking drew her out of her thoughts, Juice's lips now trailing across her collar bone, his teeth every so often scraping gently against the surface, making her gulp. The barking got louder and she opened her eyes and lowered her head to look over Juice's shoulder to see a couple of girls walking their dogs coming up the path. She cleared her throat and came to her senses, lifting her hands to cup Juice's face, gently removing him from his attack on the right side of her collar bone, to look down at his face. His gaze was dark with lust and she felt guilty for having to rip him out of his actions.

"We have company.." She let out breathily, not quite able to catch a full breath due to the excitement of their little make out session. He looked confused for a second before turning his head to look towards the girls who were nearing their location. She heard him groan and he rested his head against her chest which made Cate laugh as she brought a hand up to rub over his Mohawk, briefly admiring the tattoos on his head whilst she could.

"Of course we do." He grumbled and lifted his head to look back up at Cate, pouting at her. She laughed and rolled her eyes, pushing him away from her a little so that she could slip off the wooden railing and onto her feet in front of him.

"It's probably a good thing.." She admitted, knowing that things were getting a little carried away. Perhaps the arrival of the dog walkers was a blessing in disguise. She heard him make a 'hmmph' noise and she grinned, he was acting like a spoilt child who hadn't got their way. "Why don't we get some lunch?" She suggested and Juice smiled then, breaking out of his playful brood.

"Good plan, doc.." He answered and gestured with a nod towards his bike which they walked towards.

"Hey, Juice?" She requested his attention once they were at his bike and he turned to face her whilst fumbling with the helmets, handing one out towards her.

"Yeah?" He asked, standing in front of her.

"What's your _real_ name?" She asked and he suddenly grinned at her. All this time and she'd not once asked about his name. Sure she'd meant to ask, but she'd never gotten around to it. So since the thought was in her head, now was as good a time as any. Right?

"Why do you ask?" He asked, stepping towards her, lowering his hands to rest on her hips again. He was a very touchy-feely person, but she didn't mind it.

"Well, you know my birth-given name, so it's only fair.." She explained before tilting her head as she looked up at him. "But y'know.. If you don't wanna tell me, I'll have to stop being so trusting and _nice_.." She added playfully, lowering her hands to remove his hands from her hips. He laughed a hearty laugh and she smiled up at him, admiring his dimpled smile.

"I'm not telling you out of fear of _that.._ I was gonna tell you anyway.." He admitted first before reaching up to place her helmet on her head. "Juan Carlos Ortiz.." He told her and she stared up at him. It fit him perfectly, but so did Juice. She smiled as he clipped the strap beneath her chin before trailing his fingertips over her jaw.

"Juan Carlos.." She repeated, letting the words fall over her tongue, seeing how his name felt coming out of her own mouth. It felt strange at first, but it felt right. She wasn't sure how the pronunciation came across but she hoped it was good. She was fluent in Spanish.. Her mother had encouraged her to learn a language at school, said that it was good to be culturally diverse. It had come in handy during her army days too, she had some Spanish friends who she'd talk to whilst they were serving _and_ it was useful at the hospital, if ever she had a Spanish patient. "Encantada de conocerte." She joked with a grin. _(Nice to meet you)_

"Wow.." Juice remarked and Cate frowned slightly.

"Did I just totally disgrace the Spanish language?" she asked, mortified. But Juice grinned as he looked down at her, shaking his head.

"Nah, you just sounded _hot_." He admitted and Cate felt herself blush and she hit his shoulder.

"Let's go, I'm hungy.." She suggested and with that, they climbed onto the bike and left the area, heading for a lunchtime date.


	25. Chapter 25

AN: Thanks for sticking with me old readers and Hello to the new! Here's an update for you! I have a busy week/weekend coming up so hopefully I'll get another one out during the week before the busy stuff ensues! Let me know if you're enjoying the fic, and as always I appreciate all of the reviews, follows and favourites! Enjoy x

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CHAPTER 25

They'd only just finished their food when Juice's phone rang from within his pocket. Cate fell silent and watched as Juice retrieved his phone and put the device to his ear. She'd noticed how often his phone went off whenever she was around him; he was definitely a popular one. However, she'd noticed it was always work or the boys and he didn't often say much about what it was about, he was quite evasive. After a 'yeah' and some 'OKs' Juice hung up the phone and she watched as he pushed it back into the pocket of his kutte. Cate was sat back in her seat, one leg crossed over the other as she watched him. He looked up at her and gave her a small smile.

"You gotta go?" She asked, reaching for her glass of water and taking a slow mouthful before setting it back down on the table. She wiped the residue left behind on her fingers from the cold glass across the material of her sports leggings.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. They need me back at the shop for a pick up." Juice admitted sadly. Cate looked over at him and gave a nod of her head, smiling slightly. Sure, their times together were often interrupted but she didn't particularly mind, she still got to spend some time with him, which she enjoyed thoroughly. She didn't quite know what was blossoming between them, but she decided to not think about it and take it a step at a time. She was enjoying the process of getting to know him.

"Can I come with you? It'd be cool to see Gem.." She asked suddenly, flicking her gaze back up to land on his face to get a gauge of his reaction. He seemed surprised and hesitated before replying.

"Don't you want me to drop you at the hospital to get your car?" He questioned. Cate pursed her lips, still watching him. Perhaps he didn't want her at the garage if he was going to be busy working. Or maybe it was something else all together?

"Sure, why not." She replied after a moment of thought, probably sounding a little blunter than she'd have liked to have been. She couldn't fault Juice on much, but she didn't know what to make of all his disappearing. She noticed a look of what seemed like confusion spread across his features but she chose to ignore it and instead, she rose to her feet and stepped out from behind the table. "Let's go.." She commented, retrieving her phone and keys from the table before turning on her heel and leaving the café. Once she was outside, she descended the stairs and made her way towards Juice's bike. But she was stopped by a hand on her wrist.

"Cate.." Juice began, stopping her from walking any further and giving a gentle tug back towards him. She felt him pull and she went with it before turning around to face him, noticing the frown on his face. "It's not that I don't _want_ you to come with me, I'm just going to be busy working and collectin' cars, I don't want you to be bored." He informed her lowly, his hand still curled gently around her wrist as he looked down at her. Cate stared up at him and she just forced a small smile onto her mouth.

"I know.. I didn't think about that, it's cool." Cate answered and watched as Juice gave her a small smile. She felt that tension make itself known again and she cleared her throat, lowering her head so she was no longer looking up at him. She pulled her arm gently from his hold and turned back towards his bike, helping herself to a helmet which she secured on her head. It was quiet now and she noticed Juice hesitate for a moment before he climbed onto the bike and she followed soon after. Seconds later they were gone from the little café and back on the road, her arms wound across his waist and she held herself against his back.

She stared at his back as he rode, her gaze wandering over the stitching and patches on the back of his leather vest. Every so often she wondered if there had been any truth behind what Ross had said about the motorcycle club.. Were they menaces? Some sort of trouble-making gang? Wayne had assured her that they weren't, and that he'd of told her if there was something she should know. So no, they weren't menaces, they couldn't be. She trusted Wayne, the best friend of her late uncle.

Not long after they took off, Juice pulled up to the outside of the hospital and slowed down until he had stopped completely. Cate lifted her leg over the bike and straightened up once both her feet were back on the steady ground. The engine had cut off and was silent now; Juice remained seated on his bike. She unclipped the helmet and handed it over to him, watching as he stowed it away.

"Thanks for the lunch.." She broke the silence, fiddling with the set of keys in her hand. Juice looked up at her and she returned the small smile which was evident on his own face.

"No problem, doc.." He responded kindly. Cate couldn't help but feel a little bit awkward since he'd declined her suggestion of taking her with him. She kinda felt like he didn't _want_ her there, but she had no reason to suspect that other than her own insecurities. "You okay?" He asked her lowly and Cate nodded.

"Yeah, it's just been a weird morning with Wayne and what not.." She lied with a small shrug of her shoulders and Juice gave her a sad smile.

"I know. You'll let me know if Ross calls you again, yeah?" He asked.

"I don't think it'll be a problem anymore, but sure." She agreed whilst briefly glancing around at her surroundings before looking back towards Juice. It was silent again. She didn't want to succumb to the tension so instead she cleared her throat. "I'll see you around.." Cate said before turning and walking away from Juice and his bike and towards her own vehicle. As she walked she heard his engine turn back on and the sound of it ripping away from the hospital. She knew she'd probably come across a little off, but she couldn't help it. Her anxiety and depression meant she reacted emotionally to little things every so often. So she couldn't help but feel disappointed that he'd failed her test of whether she could go with him. And she also couldn't quiet down the voice in the back of her head, the one that wondered where he was always going and what was so important that he had to cut their time together short.

Cate got into her car and just decided to sit there for a while. She sighed and sat back in her seat, rolling her had back against the headrest. So much had happened in such a short amount of time. Change made her anxious, it made her worry and she didn't like it. Also by agreeing to go out with Lisa last night, she'd ended up making herself look like a fool and caused some more unnecessary drama. It seemed like a lot of her decisions ended up being mistakes and it was exactly the reason why she'd kept to herself since being in Charming. Cate opened her eyes and looked out of her window, raising a hand to chew on her thumbnail as she found herself slipping into her thoughts and let some time pass. She wondered what the deal with Gemma was too. She'd not seen her since her accident and it bugged her to no end as well. Perhaps that was something she could resolve? She had time to spare so why not. Cate decided she would go and find Gemma and talk to her. She popped her keys into the ignition and switched on the engine. She opened her windows; she'd been sat there for so long she hadn't noticed how warm it was until now.

Cate drove across town, with nothing but the quiet sound of the radio filling the silence. Before she went home to see if Gemma was there, she thought she'd try the garage, since she worked there. However, during her trip over there she remembered that it was where Juice was going to be and she didn't want it to seem as though she were following him or being needy. It didn't matter though, it shouldn't matter. She was going to find her friend and he'd have to accept that as the truth, since that's what it was. Cate turned into the lot and drove up slightly before pulling up on the side of the lot, parking and switching off her engine. There sat Gemma's car in her designated spot and Cate found herself feeling a little anxious. She drew in a deep breath and climbed out of her car, not bothering to lock it as she assumed it would likely be safe. Cate looked around as she walked up towards the office. She didn't feel uncomfortable in her sporty attire at all, even surrounded by big burly men. They'd all seemed kind enough, at least the ones she'd met so far had been.

During her short walk to the office, she noticed that she couldn't see Juice's bike, or most of the others. She also noted that the tow-truck was parked over by the garage. She slowed then and found herself cracking her knuckles absentmindedly. Juice had told her he needed to go to do a pick up, but the tow truck was sat _right_ there and his bike was nowhere to be seen. Had he been there at all? Had he _lied_ to her? Cate frowned as she looked over at the truck; the evidence of the lie.

"Well this is a surprise." A familiar voice broke her out of her thoughts and she turned her head to see Gemma stood in the doorway of the office, arms crossed and a smirk on her face. "To what do I owe this pleasure, doc?" She continued and Cate stopped once she was close enough, crossing her own arms beneath her bust.

"I haven't seen you around in a while.. Thought I'd check in." Cate admitted with a small shrug of her shoulders. She noticed Gemma pursed her lips and shifted her weight onto her left leg. She looked good, she always did. She oozed power and control.

"Well, that's awfully sweet of you.." Gemma replied in what sounded like a teasing tone of voice. Cate raised an eyebrow in response.

"I wanted to talk to you, see if everything's ok. I haven't seen you since.. the _accident.._ " Cate explained lowly and Gemma's smirk seemed to drop at that point, and she frowned instead. The older woman seemed to look past Cate before stepping back into the office, gesturing for Cate to follow. Cate didn't hesitate and she followed Gemma into the office and stepped past her. She heard the door shut behind her as a result of Gemma closing it.

"You think something like that would put me off being _friendly_ with you?" Gemma asked and Cate shrugged her shoulders again as she turned to face the woman.

"Maybe. I don't know. I've not seen you since then.." Cate answered, observing as the other woman walked around to the desk where she sat down and crossed one of her legs over the other.

"I guess you haven't.." Gemma spoke but it was almost like it was more of a thought out loud rather than something directed towards Cate. "I've just been busy, sweetheart. All of us have been." Gemma explained sincerely and Cate brought the corner of her lower lip between her teeth. "I've actually been meaning to call you and was going to this afternoon.. There's this charity thing going on tomorrow. We do it every year. I wanted to see if you'd like to come.." Gemma suggested with a small grin present on her lips. Cate paused for a moment, leaning back to rest her back against the wall of the office.

"Sure, why not.." Cate agreed after some thought. "So you've not been avoiding me then?" she questioned, wanting to double check. Gemma laughed at this and shook her head.

"Christ, no. I've got better things to do than spend my time avoiding somebody.. Especially my _neighbour_." Gemma teased and Cate gave a roll of her eyes before she cast a brief glance over her shoulder to look out of the window at the lot where she still couldn't help but look at the empty area were the bikes would usually be parked. "You missin' someone, sweetheart?" She heard Gemma say and Cate swallowed hard. She was actually quite annoyed.

"I've been spending some time with Juice.." Cate admitted, still staring out of the window. "We've been getting on pretty well.. We text _all_ the time and he's really sweet." She continued, tapping her fingers against her other arm as they remained crossed over her chest. "I was with him about half an hour ago and he told me he had to leave because he had to be at work.." Cate ended with a bitter laugh and she shook her head before turning around to face Gemma again, who had a thoughtful expression upon her face.

"Maybe he's just had to stop off for somethin' on the way here.." Gemma suggested with a slight shrug of her own shoulders in almost a dismissive gesture.

"Yeah, maybe.." Cate answered but wasn't convinced.

"You think otherwise?" Gemma challenged and Cate glanced over at her, she imagined nothing she said now would make Gemma believe she _didn't_ think that.

"I don't know. I mean, he's always leaving as soon as he gets a phone call.. Doesn't matter what time of day it is.. or what we're _doing_.. It's always work related and he never says what it is." Cate explained and as she said it out loud she almost felt stupid. Was he playing games with her? She wouldn't stand for it if he was. "I don't know what it is or what is starting to happen between us.. But I'm not a girl who plays games." Cate added firmly and it almost sounded foreign coming from her mouth. She noticed Gemma grin at this.

"You should tell _him_ that." Gemma suggested.

"Maybe I will.." Cate started with a slight laugh. "I was fine before.. I just had the occasional question in my mind about what he was up to.. But then I got here and saw that damn tow truck sat outside and the absence of Juice's bike and now it feels like that little questioning voice was right. I don't know.. I'm just _kinda_ pissed off." Cate sighed.

"The boys _do_ a lot of stuff together, sweetheart. But you need to talk to him, say this to _him_ and hear what he might have to say." Gemma gave her advice and Cate nodded before lifting a hand to sweep a piece of her hair behind her ear, which had fallen from her ponytail.

"Yeah.. I guess." Cate sighed. It sometimes seemed like Gemma knew more than she was letting on, but she couldn't tell. Gemma was a hard book to read. "I should get going.. Will you call or text me the details for that charity thing?" Cate asked.

"I don't _do_ texting, sweetheart. Be here at 10am.. Bring your apron." Cate couldn't tell if Gemma was joking or not, but the expression on her face said that she wasn't.

"Ok.. I'll see you then." Cate dismissed herself and left the office. As she walked away, she took one last look at the tow truck and could've sworn she heard herself _growl_ in annoyance before she climbed into her car and left the garage.


	26. Chapter 26

Hey everyone, I've been so busy with work leading up to Xmas. Here's a chapter to keep you going until I can get on a computer and write some more! I hope you all had a lovely Christmas x

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CHAPTER 26

Cate hadn't stopped thinking about Juice all day. However, it was more of a negative thought rather than the excitable teenage girl thoughts like before. She couldn't stop thinking about his lie. She kept seeing the tow truck sat in the yard and his bike which was nowhere to be seen. He'd _told_ her he was going to do a pick up and he'd left way before Cate arrived, so if he hadn't taken the truck, where had he gone? It annoyed Cate to no end. She didn't like being lied to. Was it a lie though? Perhaps there was another truck or maybe he _did_ have something to do before heading to work? Was she overreacting and spinning the whole thing out of control?

Cate groaned in frustration into the silence of her home and she rolled her head back against the back of the sofa, staring up at the ceiling. It was late evening now and she'd managed to get some errands done and tidy some of the house before settling down to have some dinner. It was around 20:30 and she'd found herself slumped on the sofa thinking about the issues surrounding Juice. She just really didn't know what to make of it and she also didn't want to get into a bad habit of having her thoughts spiral out of proportion. Her anxiety made that quite difficult though.

The sound of her phone ringing captured her attention and she grabbed her phone from the arm of the sofa, hoping it was Juice since she hadn't heard from him all day. But it wasn't. The name 'Ross' lit up across the screen of her phone. Why was he calling her again? After she'd dropped him in it with Wayne back at the station? It was starting to get weird before and now it was even weirder, hell, she could even say it was harassment. Feeling quite angry from the events of her day, Cate decided against ignoring the call and she answered it instead, holding it up to her ear.

"What?" She snapped, sitting on the edge of her sofa, elbows resting on her knees. She felt incredibly tense and she imagined that it was all the frustration from today and her call from Ross was just the cherry on top.

"Hecate.. I'm so glad you answered." His voice sounded through the receiver and she rolled her eyes. He sounded so relieved at the fact she'd _actually_ answered his call.

"What do you want?" She repeated, wanting to get straight to the point.

"I wanted to apologise for this morning.. I'm sorry if I surprised you or you felt as if you were ambushed.." He began in his familiar 'I'm a psychologist and I understand and sympathise with you' voice.

"I didn't feel ambushed.." She stated. Was he an idiot? That hadn't been an ambush. Cate had experienced a _real_ ambush overseas; she could deal with a single psychiatrist trying to catch her by surprise.

"Are you sure? I could understand if you did.. Having your friend call me into his office and wait for your arrival. I'd understand if that made you feel vulnerable or emotionally ambushed." He spoke in a low and gentle voice, almost as if he were having a session with her now. Cate frowned at his words, confused as to why he would think that at all.

"I don't understand your goal here, Ross.. Did you call to gloat?" Cate asked, pushing herself up to her feet to slowly begin a pace around her living room.

"Like I said, I just wanted to apologise.." He began sadly, sighing into the phone. "And I'm sorry I drove you into the arms of that biker.. It wasn't my intention. I wanted to help you, Cate. I still want to help you.."

She frowned then and stopped in her path. What did he just say? He'd driven her into Juice's arms? That hadn't been the case at all. "You can't help me, Ross. That's why I've informed you I won't be requiring your services anymore." Cate explained, deciding to ignore his comment about Juice and not indulge in it.

"But I really feel like you'd benefit from some more sessions, Cate. We were making some progress; it'd be such a shame to see that all go down the drain." He responded and Cate let out a quiet, bitter laugh.

"I'm sorry, Ross. But you _really_ need to stop calling me. I'm _not_ coming back, I _don't_ need any help and I'm going to be just _fine_. Goodbye." She snapped before ending the call. She squeezed the phone in her hand and closed her eyes for a moment, drawing in a deep breath through her nose and letting it out between her lips. The phone ringing broke her out of her attempt at calming herself down and she looked down at her phone. Ross, _again_. She declined the call and went into her settings and blocked his number. "Try calling me now, you asshole." She grumbled to herself and pushed her phone into the pocket of her jogger bottoms. Cate sat back down on her sofa and lay across it, resting her head on one of the cushions and closing her eyes. She wanted to try and relax.

Cate must've relaxed so much that she fell asleep because she woke up to her phone ringing and vibrating in her pocket and a quick glance at the clock revealed it was midnight. Half asleep, Cate reached into her pocket and answered the call from the unknown number. She assumed it was Ross, trying to contact her from another number.

"Ross, I wasn't joking when I told you not to call again.." She grumbled into the phone, rolling onto her back where she reached up to her face and rubbed her sleepy eyes. She heard music and laughter from whoever was on the other line.

"Huh? Ross called?" She heard Juice speak and she opened her eyes then and sat up slightly, still leaning back into the corner of her sofa.

"Yeah.." She confirmed quietly, her voice still sounding very tired. "What's up?" She asked.

"Wait.. Cate, you told me you'd tell me if Ross called you again." Juice didn't sound impressed. Cate felt her eyebrow's raise and she suddenly felt very much awake. He was going to reprimand her for not doing what she'd said she'd do? Boy, was she going to let him have it.

"Well.. I didn't. I'm an adult and I dealt with it as an adult would." Cate responded and it was silent for a moment, but she could hear the background noise becoming quieter and then the sound of a door closing.

"I'm being serious, Cate. You shoulda told me he'd called.." Juice added, sounding both concerned and angry.

"Maybe you should have told me the truth about where you went after lunch today.." She deadpanned and was met with silence from his end but she was sure she heard him sigh. "If you're gonna give me a hard time, I'm gonna give you one too." She added, sitting forward in her seat now, bringing her feet down to rest on the floor.

"I told you I had to work.." He sounded uncertain. "I had a pickup.. A car.. I had to pick up a car.." He stumbled now and she was sure he sounded nervous. Cate felt angry now and she'd curled her free hand into a fist by her lap, her nails digging into the palm of her hand.

"So what, you picked up the car with your hands and carried it back to the lot?" Her voice oozed sarcasm but she couldn't help it.

"Huh?" He responded and Cate almost screamed out in frustration there and then.

"I went to the garage, Juice!" she blurted out, as if she'd just exploded from all of the pressure. "I went to the garage to see Gemma and _you_ weren't there but funnily enough the pickup truck was.." She continued, pushing herself up from the sofa to pace for the second time that evening. "So unless you went out and carried the car back or towed it with your bike.. You didn't have to go to work to tow a car at all." She determined, not holding back with her sarcasm or the frustration evident in her voice. It was quiet again and all she could hear was him breathing down the phone. "Well?" She prompted, gesturing wildly with her hand even though he couldn't _see_ that.

"Cate.. I can explain." He began quietly and she shook her head. She'd caught him out in a lie and he knew it. Suddenly, she let out a laugh, a proper belly laugh as if she'd found something really funny. She must have sounded crazy, but she was so full of the horrible mixture of emotions that it just needed to creep out. She stopped laughing and sighed.

"I knew it.." She said with a sigh, stopping at her back door where she looked out of the window at her dark garden; the light from the kitchen creating a little pool of light on her porch.

"Look.. I need to see you. I'll tell you _everything_ but it's gotta be face to face, there's a lot I need to tell you." He said and Cate tilted her head back before straightening up and turning around to walk back into her living room.

"You lied to me Juice.. No matter how big or how small, you lied to me.. You broke our time short, time where we're getting to know each other and having what I thought was a good time, because you had something more important to do.. Someone more important to see." She added bitterly. Perhaps she'd been right when she thought there could be another woman. "And I haven't heard from you _all_ day and now you call me at midnight from what sounds like a god damn party." She couldn't help but sound hurt, which was exactly how she felt. Hurt and disappointed.

"Cate, it's not like that.." He began hurriedly, but she cut him off as quickly as she could.

"Have a good night, Juice." She snapped before hanging up the phone. Tears gathered in her eyes; tears of hurt and anger. Maybe she'd overreacted but she'd worry about that tomorrow. For now she was too angry, imagining him running off to see some other woman and having the time of his life, whilst leaving her on the side feeling happy like she was getting to know somebody decent. Cate threw her phone to the side and made her way upstairs where she'd get into bed and hopefully sleep her sadness away.


	27. Chapter 27

AN: I'm so sorry it's been so long since I've updated! my life has been work work work and then it was Christmas, more work, and then I was unwell. But I'm back with a new chapter for you all! It might not be what you'd like, but remember this is a slow burn and I'm making this as realistic as possible. Cate is a difficult soul! I hope you enjoy. Happy New Year.. Jade x

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 **CHAPTER 27**

Hecate hadn't slept as well as she had hoped. She spent her night tossing and turning, waking up almost every hour in a sweat. She was awake to hear her morning alarm going off, alerting her of the fact that much to her dismay, it was 8am. In 2 hours time she was due at Teller-Morrow to meet Gemma and help her prepare for whatever this charity event of hers was. Cate sighed and reached over to turn her alarm off and silence soon filled her bedroom. She'd rolled back onto her back and was staring up at the ceiling. She was full of sadness and she was angry at Juice, even angrier that he was making her feel _sad_. Opening up to people was something she did with caution, for reasons such as this. People let her down and she ended up building up walls which she rarely let down. Juice had started to find a way in and he'd let her down.

With a loud sigh, Cate pushed herself up and out of her bed where she began to get ready for the day ahead, deciding she'd better keep ahead of schedule if she didn't want to disappoint Gemma. She was glad that things with her were OK after their little talk the day before. It was a small pleasure to know that things hadn't been ruined by all of Cate's issues. She liked Gemma, she was like a supportive aunt; a strong and powerful woman, feared by many. It didn't take a genius to work that one out.

It didn't take Cate long to shower and get dressed for the day ahead. She'd opted for some faded blue, ripped, mom jeans which sat comfortably around her abdomen. She had tucked in a baggy white tank top and slipped on her comfortable pair of converse. She assumed it was appropriate wear for something charity related? Gemma hadn't exactly elaborated on what it was to expect. Cate tucked a piece of her black hair behind her ear, a gentle curl evident in the lengths since she'd gone through the effort of hurriedly putting some curling tongs through it. The doctor looked around her bedroom and a glisten from her cabinet caught her eye, as it usually did. Her army tags stared at her from across the room and a familiar feeling of dread filled her stomach. Her vision was starting to change into tunnel vision and she knew where this would lead if she didn't do anything about it quickly, so she blinked hard and turned away from the silver chain which triggered such a reaction from her. She sighed and grabbed her phone before leaving the bedroom. It was 9:30 and she knew that if she didn't leave soon, she'd be late and she could only imagine that it wouldn't go down well with Mrs Morrow.

It only occurred to Cate that she was heading into volatile territory when she was almost at the garage, a sudden feeling of anxiety and dread twisting within her stomach. She was going to the place where Juice worked and spent a lot of his time. How she'd only thought of it now was beyond her. It was fine though, she'd be ok. She hadn't returned any of his calls last night; apparently she had missed a few. It was intentional though; she'd switched her phone off overnight and turned it on in the morning to see a number of missed calls from Juice. It had appeared that he'd given up after 4 attempts of trying. She didn't want his apologies. If he wanted to see other women, he could. They weren't anything serious; they'd kissed a couple of times. She wouldn't say she wasn't angry or upset about it though.. She thought he liked her.

Cate chewed on her lower lip out of nervous habit as she indicated and turned into the gates of Teller-Morrow, her anxiety replaced with determination and confidence. If he was there, she wouldn't let it get to her. Her blue eyes scanned the area as she slowly drove up towards the garage, and of _course_ , Juice's bike was there lined up with the others. But it was awfully quiet outside. Cate pulled to a stop behind Gemma's car and climbed out of her vehicle. She quietly shut the door behind her and turned towards the entrance of the garage which she slowly began to walk towards. As she walked, she tucked her phone and keys into each of her back pockets. She'd never seen it so quiet, if it weren't for the bikes and cars outside, she'd think that it was closed.

"Hello?" She spoke out into the office, peering into the empty room. Nobody responded, so she straightened up and walked a few steps along until she was faced with the garage. A car was up on the stand but again, there was nobody to be seen. At this point though, she could hear some chatting and movement from an open door at the back of the garage. Cate turned her head, looking around the lot once more for somebody she knew, but she saw nobody, so she advanced carefully into the garage making sure to avoid the tools on the ground.  
"Hey?" She repeated quietly as she approached the open door, she peered in and was met with a short corridor which seemed to open out into what looked like a bar. Her left brow rose up slightly in an inquisitive manner as she edged forwards and through the barrier of the doorway. She hadn't realised the garage had all of this attached to the back of it. Perhaps this was where the staff hung out? Or a little hang out for their motorcycle enthusiast club. She could hear talking now and a few steps further had her come out from behind the wall and into a large room where there was a bar and some tables and chairs, pool table, almost exactly like a bar. However, some men were lying across the tables with half naked women sprawled across them. She suddenly had the feeling like she shouldn't be there. She recognised Tig's head of curly hair on one of the tables with a naked blonde and a half-dressed red-head draped over each side of his body.

With curiosity getting the best of her, Cate advanced forwards, making sure to remain light on her feet – not wanting to disturb the sleeping men. Her gaze drifted over her surroundings as she moved further into the room. It was like a little drunken warzone, with bodied sprawled across, glass bottles scattered and it was all a hell of a mess to have to tidy up. Her gaze, however, fell upon a familiar mohawked, tattoed head and she froze in her tracks. She could see only the back of his head hanging over the back of the sofa, snores sounding from deep in his throat. Cate almost found herself smiling but she stopped herself as she remembered how angry she felt with him. Here he was, sleeping off the night before – whilst she'd been at home tossing and turning about what had happened. She took a couple of quiet steps further and stretched onto her tip toes to peer over the back of the sofa, only to suddenly drop back down onto her soles. Dread tugged at her stomach and for a moment she felt as though she could be sick. For on his lap lay the head of a topless blonde, his arm resting over her back as she slept. It felt as though she were in a slow cooker and her blood was very slowly starting to simmer, getting hotter and hotter until it would inevitably reach it's boiling point.

"Cate?" The sound of Gemma's voice made her jump and she took a quick step back, her foot kicking back a glass bottle which loudly rolled across the ground before coming to stop loudly against the edge of the bar. She heard Juice's snore catch in his throat but at that point she'd turned to face Gemma, forcing a small smile onto her flustered face. "What are you doing back here?" The brunette asked with a small smirk, her gaze flickering between Cate and the direction she must have entered from.

"Huh? Cate?" Juice's voice sounded sleepily from behind her which made her whole body tense. Cate locked eyes with Gemma, and she noticed Gemma's gaze soften slightly.

"We're in the kitchen if you're ready, sweetheart." Gemma said, nodding towards the kitchen before descending back to where she'd appeared from. Cate was still for a moment and she heard movement behind her, followed by the sound of a woman groaning. Her teeth clenched, to the point where she thought they might crack under the pressure. She turned slightly and moved her head around to peer over at Juice who was now on his feet, awkwardly and sleepily straightening himself out, his sheepish gaze landing on Cate's. She saw him open his mouth to speak but she made sure to catch him before he started with her fiercest gaze.

"Don't.." She snapped, raising a hand in gesture. "Don't even _think_ about saying a word." She said passive-aggressively, before turning away from Juice and his hurt expression and following where Gemma had gone. She entered the kitchen to see a couple of women packing and preparing items around Gemma, but she paid little attention and headed straight to the sink where she reached for the edge, curling her fingers around it tightly and leaning forward slightly. She drew in a slow and deep breath through her nose and closed her eyes, letting out between her plump lips.

"How you doin', doc?" She heard Gemma ask from behind her.

"Oh.. Just peachy, Gem." Cate joked and shook her head before opening her eyes and pushing herself away from the sink and back on her feet. She noticed Gemma was stood beside her at this point, packing some plastic cutlery into a bag.

"It might not be as bad as it looks.." She couldn't tell if Gemma was joking or not, but she let out a sharp laugh from between her lips and she shrugged her shoulders.

"It doesn't matter. We're not a _thing_. He can do what he wants." She grumbled, not sure if she was even convinced herself or not. Gemma made a disbelieving sound and she glanced up to see the older woman grinning slightly. Cate rolled her eyes and turned around to face the counter and all of the boxes and bags packed upon it. "Looks like you didn't need my help anyway.." Cate stated, lowering her hands to rest on her jean-clad hips.

"Yeah we finished up earlier than I thought.. You can help load the care. We gotta get their asap to set up the stalls." Gemma advised and Cate gave a nod of her head.

"Sure.. What do you want me to take?" Cate asked and Gemma patted a large plastic box in front of them.

"This is the heaviest.. Only makes sense to have the soldier take this one." Gemma teased and Cate wasn't sure what to make of it. She knew it was only a joke, so she forced a small laugh out of her mouth, but it still seemed a little soon to be cracking army jokes after the meltdown Gemma had witnessed not so long ago.

"Yes sir." She saluted with a joke, deciding to just play it cool. Perhaps this was all Gemma's way of helping; making light of a situation. Gemma laughed before collecting some bits of her own, leaving the kitchen with the other women who had taken the rest. Cate reached forward and tested the weight of the box. Sure, it was heavy but it wasn't nearly as heavy as some of the stuff she was used to carrying. So she placed her arms around it and shifted it up into her hold against her chest. As she was walking out from the kitchen she noticed Juice at the bar, looking a lot more awake than he had a few minutes ago. She noticed him look towards her and she looked back ahead of her, watching where she was going.

"Let me help you with that.." She heard him say and noticed him rush up towards her, arms extended as if he were going to take it from her.

"I'm fine." She answered bluntly, gritting her teeth in annoyance as she continued on her path towards the exit.

"It's heavy.. I don't mind.." He continued, as if he hadn't heard her at all the first time.

"I'm _fine_.." She repeated, nearing the exit. She thought he'd got the message but that was when she heard him again, but this time she felt his hands slipping around the box.

"C'mon, let me help y-."

"I said I'm fine!" She yelled and the tangle of their arms caused the box to drop onto the ground, creating a loud bang in the otherwise silent room. She was sure it would have stirred some of the others. Cate stared down at the box as if she were about to kill it, when really she was angry at Juice. There was a silence that followed but she continued to stare down at the box, her fingers had already curled into tight fists at her side by this point. S

"What's going on here?" She heard Clay demand from somewhere else in the room. She was aware of Juice's presence beside her but she ignored it and instead she squatted down by the box, ignoring the pain from her knee, and she lifted the box back up into the air and against her chest. Ignoring her surroundings, she departed the building once and for all and was bathed in sunlight which wasn't actually helping, since her anger was making her all hot and bothered. She moved towards Gemma's car as fast as she could, wanting to just get away from everything.

"There's a crack in the box.." Gemma stated as Cate neared the open boot, but she ignored the comment and just slid the box into the back neatly between the others which were already there.

"Hecate!" Juice shouted from the garage and Cate felt her stomach tighten; he rarely called her by her full name in the times she'd spent with him. It still weirded her out to hear it. She heard feet on gravel and a brief glance up revealed it was him, making his way towards her looking angry as hell. What right did he have to be angry? Cate glanced towards Gemma who shrugged her shoulders, a small grin on her face, before climbing into the driver's side of the vehicle. "What's your problem? You can't just show up here and make me look like an idiot in front of everybody.." He reprimanded her in a stern voice, his accent making him sound even angrier. The nerve of it.. The cheek!

Cate found herself grinning and she turned around to face him, running the tip of her tongue over the sharp edges of her top teeth. "What's _my_ problem?" she repeated his comment under her breath with a laugh, stepping towards him. She wasn't scared of him and she wouldn't cower in front of him either. "I'm sorry; did I bruise your ego in front of all your _boys_?" She sneered at him before glancing over his shoulder where she could see a couple of women leaving the garage; the one who'd been on his lap included. "Or did I just interrupt you getting your dick wet?" She was never usually one to be so vulgar, unless she was really, _truly_ angry. His jaw tightened and she imagined he was probably clenching his teeth the same way she had been not so long ago.

"Are you kiddin' me?" He questioned lowly, his usually bright eyes seemed darker, a feeling she understood well.

"You need to tell me everything face to face, huh? More like _show_ me.." She used his words from their phone call last night, where he'd told her he could explain, he just needed to see her in person. "I get the message, Juice. Loud and clear." She added with a disappointed shake of her head before she turned away from him to reach for the passenger door, which he pushed shut when she opened it.

"Cate, _please_.." He pleaded and Cate tilted her head back briefly, a laugh of disbelief escaping from between her teeth.

"Juan Carlos.." She breathed, rolling the R's in the Spanish accent she'd perfected back in high school. "If you don't let go of this door.." She began quietly, turning her head to look towards him, gaze meeting his. "I really _will_ embarrass you in front of your _boys_." She threatened. She imagined he wouldn't take it seriously, since she was a lot smaller and a woman. But she meant it. She could make a grown man cry if she wanted to, she knew she could. And it seemed like he believed her, because after a moment of hesitation and staring down at her, he relented and let go of the car door.

"See you at the park.." He breathed as she climbed into the car and before she could even think about shutting the door, he had shut it for her.

"Jesus, sweetheart.. Are they his balls in your purse?" Gemma teased quietly and Cate just stared out of the window.

"Can we just go now? Before we're late?" Cate acted as if she cared, but she didn't. She just needed to get away from Juice and _fast_.


	28. Chapter 28

AN: Thank you guys so much for the reviews so far! Here's another update, since I neglected this story over Christmas! Let me know what you think ;) Enjoy x

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CHAPTER 28

"So that was interesting.." Said Gemma as she continued to drive them to their destination. Cate had been staring out of the window, her hands in fists resting on her lap. Slowly she uncurled her tense fingers and looked down at her palms, marks from her nails imprinted into the skin of her hands. "Haven't spoken about yesterday then?" she continued and Cate turned her head slightly to look sideways at the brunette.

"We spoke on the phone.. He told me he'd need to explain in person. I could hear music and shouting in the background.." Cate explained, turning her gaze back to her front where she looked out of the windscreen and the road they were travelling on. "Judging by the woman on his lap this morning, he was a little busy last night." She added, feeling the anger still bubbling away in the depths of her stomach. Really, she could do with a good run or a boxing session at the gym to release all of her negative energy; but it was out of the picture for now. "And there was me thinking maybe I was a little hard on him during our phone call.." Cate scoffed and shook her head, reaching up to sweep some hair out of her face. She couldn't believe she was second guessing herself, thinking that perhaps she should've given him the benefit of the doubt last night and believed him. She'd started thinking that she'd jumped to conclusions, but apparently not, since she'd seen him now with her own eyes in a compromising position with another woman.

"Well.. Men are idiots, sweetheart." Gemma concluded and Cate let out a short laugh.

"Tell me about it.." She grumbled and cast a glance at the mirror on the side of the car where she noticed the bikes following behind them. Looks like they were all heading there together. She didn't know how she'd manage if she had to be around Juice all day.

"Here we are." Gemma stated as they pulled into the parking lot of one of the local large parks where Cate noticed people were already there setting up stands. Once the car had pulled to a stop she opened the car door and climbed out, pushing it shut behind her where she then turned to observe her surroundings. With one hand on her hip, she lifted the other to shield her eyes from the sun; even with sunglasses on, the late morning sun was still incredibly bright and warm. "So, doc.. I thought I'd have you as our on-call first aid provider.." She heard Gemma from the back of the car and she turned around to face her. Gemma had a grin on her face and was holding a first aid bag.

"Thanks for the warning.." Cate teased and took a few steps towards the woman, where she reached out and retrieved the bag from the older woman. She looked down at it and twisted it in her hold. "It'll do.." Cate joked and pulled the strap over her shoulder, the bag resting against her hip. "You should've said and I'd of bought my one from home." Gemma shook her head and gave a gesture of her hand.

"It'll be better to save it, you never know when you'll need somethin' like that." Gemma stated, almost ominously, and Cate gave a slow nod of her head. It were almost as if she were insinuating that she _would_ need it, even though it hadn't been used since she'd owned it.

"Sure.. Well, I'll go set myself up then." Cate laughed, since there wasn't much to set up. The contents would remain in the bag unless she needed them, so really, she didn't really have anything to be doing. The sound of engines rumbling filled her ears and a glance over her shoulder revealed that the men on their bikes were just pulling into the parking lot too, pulling up in a neat line of diagonally parked bikes, like a domino line of Harley's. She hadn't meant to, but her gaze fell upon Juice as he lifted his helmet from his head, his gaze catching her own. For a split second, she felt how she usually felt when she saw him, before she was mad at him. Butterflies briefly fluttered in her stomach and she felt as if he were staring right into her soul. However, seconds later the butterflies burnt away and the intense feeling of sickness from her anger replaced them. She felt as though her sunglasses were holding back intense red lazer beams and without them, she'd burn a hole into his chest. She dragged her gaze away and turned on her heel, following behind Gemma.

Cate helped prepare what she could but since there were so many of them, everything was set up in a reasonable amount of time and before she knew it, they were done and there was nothing left to be done. Now they had some time to relax before the locals started to make their way down. Cate had perched on the ground behind Gemma's chilli stall, her first aid pack sat on the grass down by her side. She'd been told that Gemma's chilli was the best and in all honesty, it smelt _wonderful_ , and she made a mental note of getting around to trying some at some point in the afternoon. For now, she'd lost her appetite because of how her morning had started.. Her anger and the shock of what she'd witnessed had left her not wanting to do much. She sucked in a breath and let it out in a heavy sigh as she looked around at her surroundings. It was times like this when she was aware of how much of a social outcast she really was.. She didn't really know anybody and if she did recognise someone, she didn't really know them well enough to go up and spark random conversation. Maybe it was better that way.. It had been her norm for so long; maybe trying to change that was why everything was going so sour. She'd flipped at a woman and embarrassed herself in front of her colleagues, embarrassed herself in front of the garage workers, embarrassed herself in front of Gemma. Maybe it was better to just remain isolated?

"Ugh.." She grumbled and lowered herself onto her back so she was lying down, her arms resting on her stomach, knees bent up. She shut her eyes beneath her sunglasses and drew in a deep breath through her nose which she let out slowly, her skin cool since she'd situated herself in the shade of a tree.

"Cate?" A feminine voice captured her attention and she opened her eyes and tilted her head towards the sound. Through the sepia hue of her sunglasses, she spotted the older blonde woman she recognised to be Luanne.

"Oh, hey." Cate responded and sat back up but didn't bother to rise to her feet, since the blonde had taken a seat not far from where she was situated on the grass.

"I thought it might be you.. How have you been, sweetie?" She asked with a smile and Cate returned the gesture.

"I've been good thanks.. Enjoying some time away from the madness that is the hospital.." Cate joked, trying to seem like a normal woman and make some casual small talk, even if it was a lie.

"Oh I bet you are! I wanted to thank you actually.." Cate raised an eyebrow slightly. Thank her for what? "For taking care of my silly girl, Sandy.." Luanne continued and immediately answered Cate's internal questions. She'd totally forgotten about that incident.. Probably due to the fact that Juice had randomly shown up and distracted her.

"Oh.. Don't worry about it.. How's she doing?" Cate asked, not really massively interested since she wasn't technically her patient anymore and was in the hands of the obstetrics team, but it felt like the right and normal thing to do.

"Oh she's fine! She's right over there actually.." Luanne pointed over the pathway and down a bit, towards a little gathering of people. That's when Cate's gaze fell upon Juice, who was stood with the 'prospect' she'd seen at the hospital too, and were seemingly in conversation with the pregnant woman she'd treated. "She's decided to keep the baby.. I told her it was her own choice and I'd support her no matter what.." She barely registered what Luanne was saying, since she was fixed on the scene.

"Is she your daughter?" Cate asked, briefly glancing at Luanne before immediately returning her gaze back towards Juice and the young woman. It was then she found herself wondering something. Was it Juice's child? He'd appeared at the hospital with her and now here he was talking and laughing with the woman.

"Oh, lord no. But we're all one big family, sweetheart!" Luanne spoke and Cate simply gave a slow nod of her head in response to her words, not really paying a massive amount of attention. Sure, she was taking in the information, but she could've tried to appear more interested in the other woman.

"Is the father of the baby supportive?" Cate enquired. She looked back at Luanne now, but kept occasionally glancing over in the other direction. She wanted to appear interested as she subtly dug for information. She was good at doing it, she had to do it a lot with her hospital work.

"Oh, completely! He's right over there actually.." Cate felt her breath catch in her throat as Luanne gestured back towards where Sandy was stood with Juice and the others. "The handsome blonde.." Cate felt the tension in her body ease immediately.

"Oh thank God.." Cate breathed out with the breath that she'd been holding.

"What's that?" Luanne questioned and Cate's eyes widened beneath her glasses.

"Oh.. I just mean, thank God she has a good support system. It's really good to have." Cate explained, digging her way out of a potential hole. It seemed like the older woman was buying it too, since she smiled widely down at her.

"Oh I totally agree with you, darlin'.." Luanne agreed and Cate smiled a small smile at her. She turned her head and looked back over towards Juice who was now laughing, his cheeks dimpling which made her heart melt no matter how angry she felt. However, it was annoying to see him having such a blast when she was feeling rubbish about everything. How could he be so care free and laughing with other woman after the way she'd caught him this morning? She clenched her teeth and curled her fingers around some tufts of grass at her sides. It was then she spotted Wayne not too far from Juice, at a hot dog stand with some other officers; Hale included.

"Luanne, I'll be back in a minute.. I just need to go and see somebody.." Cate said as she pushed herself up to her feet and brushed some stray pieces of grass from her jeans before leaving Luanne to make her way down the path towards Wayne. She kept her head held high and as she neared Juice, she cast him a side glance and noticed him pause with what he was saying as he caught sight of her and seemed to stare at her, until she passed him and looked away from him. She wondered if he was still watching as she neared Wayne and the hot dog stand. Why did she care though? She felt this need to be noticed by him but she didn't understand why. "Hey Wayne.." Cate greeted the older gentleman as she reached him, a small smile present on her lips. He turned around and smiled in return.

"Hey sweetheart, how are you doin'?" He asked, holding a hot dog in his hand.

"Not too bad.. It's nice to see a familiar face though, I gotta say." She admitted, sounding very relieved. It was true. It was comforting to see somebody she knew well, even if the last time they had seen each other was when he hosted a mini meeting between her and her creepy psychiatrist.

"Who are you here with?" He asked kindly and she noticed him glance over her shoulder at someone. She didn't look but she wondered if he was taking a glance at Juice, wondering if she'd attended with him since he was now aware of them hanging out a few times.

"I came with Gemma.. I'm on first aid duty.." She laughed, nodding with her head towards the direction of the chilli stand.

"Gemma, eh? Well make sure she doesn't work you too hard, sweetheart." He had started off almost sceptical but ended with a joke. Cate smiled and gave a small shake of her head.

"Don't worry.. I'm sure I can handle some grazed knees and splinters in fingers." Cate joked, resulting in a laugh from Wayne. It was then she felt her phone vibrating in her back pocket, alerting her of the fact that it was ringing. She reached back and pulled out her phone, looking down at the 'UNKNOWN' caller ID on her phone. She frowned slightly and looked over her shoulder towards Juice; he wasn't on his phone, and he'd caught her concerned gaze and returned it with a questioning one of his own which she ignored. "Sorry, Wayne.. I just need to get this.." Cate looked back down at her phone and then answered the call, bringing the phone up to her ear. Perhaps it was the hospital? "Doctor Phillips speaking.." She greeted in her professional phone voice. She was met with quiet. "Hello?" She repeated, rolling her eyes at the silence she was met with.

"Hecate?" Cate's expression suddenly dropped. Why was Ross calling her?


	29. Chapter 29

AN: I'm so glad you all liked my last chapter! Here's another for you all.. I hope you enjoy! As always, I appreciate all of the follows, likes, and the kind words left in the reviews. Thank you all so much. X

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CHAPTER 29

"Hecate.." A voice sounded from the phone and she instantly frowned. It was Ross. It made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She glanced up at Wayne who must have noticed her concerned expression as he too looked concerned. " _Don't_ say anything to the Chief.." He commanded in a threatening tone of voice. It was officially weird now. Before, she'd found it pathetic and desperate but now, she was actually concerned by her ex-psychiatrists behaviour.

"Can I help you?" She asked, fingers tightening around the device. She shook her head at Wayne and gave him a small smile, trying to suggest that everything was OK.

"Cate, I just want to talk to you.. Could you please just listen to what I have to say?" He pleaded. She briefly lowered the phone from her ear and covered the mouthpiece.

"I'll be back in a bit, Wayne.. I gotta take this." She told Wayne before walking around him and up towards a tree further back and a little bit away from the hustle and bustle.

"What do you want, Ross? I told you not to call me again." She growled into the phone, officially fed up of him and his behaviour.

"I just really think you could benefit from some more of our sessions, Hecate.." He said.

"You're kidding me right?" She laughed, pacing around the tree. "I'm _not_ coming back, I don't know how many times I need to te.."

"YOU NEED MORE SESSIONS!" He yelled down the phone to the point where she had to quickly remove the phone from her ear.

"All this time people thought _I_ was crazy.." She began slowly, laughing slightly as she paused. "But you're the crazy one.. All along, it's you who's mad!" She yelled, all of her pent up anger towards Juice was now boiling over the edge. "I told you not to contact me again.. _Wayne,_ the chief of police, _told_ you not to contact me again.. And now you're somewhere _watching_ me and calling me!" She seethed, angrily looking around the area for his location.

"Cate, you really need to calm down.. Anger doesn't look good on you." He sounded totally patronising which only made her feel angrier. She slowed down and focused more on her searching. "I'm sorry that you're scared.. But I just want to help you get better.." She remained quiet as he spoke, still scanning the area. Her gaze drifted by Juice who was stood by Wayne, looking towards her, but she ignored it and continued looking; they were the least of her worries. That was when she noticed a figure back by the cars, phone to their ear, and cap on their head. It was him, she just knew it.

"You wanna help me?" She questioned, raising her sunglasses up to rest on her head whilst taking a few slow steps forward.

"Yes, Cate.. I do." He insisted.

"Fine.." Cate paused. "You know what will help me?" she asked, feigning interest as she took another couple of steps forwards.

"What is it? Anything.." He sighed.

"Beating your ass and putting you in prison.." She growled before immediately hanging up and taking off from her spot in a sprint. She ran over the grass and towards the parking lot like she was competing in an Olympic sprint; however she was forced to dodge people in the way of her path which made it trickier. She was sure she heard people yelling her name but it was all background noise; she was focused on reaching Ross, and Ross alone. As she neared the parking lot, she noticed he'd already jumped into his vehicle and she was almost there when he accelerated, the tyres kicking up dust and rocks as he sped out of the parking lot. "You better run!" Cate yelled to the car which disappeared from sight, leaving her standing in the middle of the parking lot, in a cloud of dust which hadn't settled yet. She was seeing red, her heart was racing and adrenaline was pumping through her veins, which didn't make her feel any better.

"Cate?" The voice was quiet since the sound of her heart pumping in her ears was overpowering and her quick breaths added to the sounds. She was in her own world of anger and red, it was all she could focus on. How dare he threaten her and try to intimidate her with stalker behaviour! Something touched her elbow and without even thinking she immediately shot her elbow backwards, the bone connecting with something hard. It was pure animal instinct, she was full of adrenaline and on edge from what had just happened, and who could blame her?

"Fuuuck!" She heard from behind her and she whipped around to see who she'd just elbowed, suddenly feeling awful as realisation hit her.

"Oh my god, I'm _so_ sorry.." She squealed as her gaze fell on.. Juice. "Oh this is just _great_!" She laughed, a mixture of shock and just pure humour. Of all people she had to elbow in the nose, it had to be him.

"This isn't funny!" He yelled, his voice muffled by his hands as he was holding them over his nose. It was then she noticed the blood dripping from under his hands and she stopped laughing and took in the seriousness and reality of the situation.

"I'm sorry.. Oh my god.. Uh.." She'd suddenly reverted back to her awkward mannerisms she was often known for. "Uh.. Let me see.." She insisted and stepped closer to him, reaching up to his hands. It was the closet she'd been to him since he'd left her after dropping her off at her car, since before their little fallout. He gazed down at her through watering eyes. "You don't have to cry, Juice.." She teased quietly as she peeled his hands away from his bloody face. She noticed his eyebrows rise.

"I'm not _crying_.. My eyes are just watering.. My nose hurts!" He insisted. She knew that of course, the nose was one of the most sensitive parts of the body and she'd just given him a mighty elbow to that part of his face. She was just trying to lighten to the situation.. And she couldn't exactly continue to be angry at him at the moment.

Blood was gushing from his nose and she instantly covered it with his hand again. She looked around for something to cover his nose with until they could get it treated but was drawing up blanks. Thinking on her feet, as she would have to in her army days, she reached for her baggy white top and lifted it off over her head. "Whoa.. Why are you strippin'?" He asked in a nasally voice. Cate rolled her eyes and gathered the material up before pulling his hand away from his face and replacing it with her top, the white material now absorbing his deep red blood.

" _That's_ why I'm stripping.." She concluded and popped his hands back over the top so that he could apply the pressure. "Come with me.. I'll get you fixed up." She informed him and watched as he tilted his head backwards. "Tsst! Keep your head forward." She hissed and gently smacked the back of his head to look ahead; he gave her a confused look in return. "You'll swallow blood or choke on it.. Don't question the doctor." She said and put her hand on his shoulder, guiding him back towards the chilli stall where her pack was located.

"Jesus, what happened to you?" Clay asked from Gemma's side as she approached the stand with Juice and his extremely bloody nose. Gemma looked a little shocked, but mostly amused, with a big old smirk on her face.

"And why are you topless?" Gemma added inquisitively, looking down at her bra.

"He ran into my elbow.. I used my top to stop the bleeding.." Cate answered on his behalf and Juice mumbled something in response from beneath the shirt but she reached up and pressed the shirt down harder, making him groan in pain from the pressure. "Lessons were learnt.. Don't sneak up on a little lady." She joked before pushing Juice away from the older couple and over to the back where the pack was sat on the ground. "Sit down.." She told him and patted on the ground as she knelt down in front of the pack, which she worked on unzipping and digging through as she sat down by her side. She was aware of his stare but she focused on rooting through the bag until she found what she wanted; an ice pack. "Right.." She said whilst shuffling closer to him on her knees. She stopped in front of him and looked up at his face, catching his gaze again.

"Bet you're lovin' this aint'cha?" He questioned and she was sure that he was trying not to smile.

"I want to say yes.. But I'm a doctor so it would be wrong for me to enjoy seeing someone in pain.." She teased and then he cracked and smiled at her. "I feel really bad about it.. But also.. Karma." She added with a shrug of her shoulders and a small grin before reaching forward with her newly gloved hands, to remove her top from his face. His nose was still bleeding but not _as_ heavily as it had been initially. "Ok.. Is it really painful?" She asked as she began her examination, gently touching the area surrounding his nose before bracing his head between her hands and staring at his face; looking to see if it looked broken, which thankfully it didn' just trying to lighten to the situation.. and she couldn' most sensitive parts of th ebody n the seriousness and reality of

"Of course it hurts!" He answered with a roll of his eyes. Cate gently felt down the bridge of his nose with her fingers, pinching with light pressure, feeling for any breaks in his nose. He was wincing and flinching and Cate bit on her lower lip to stop herself from laughing.

"Ok.. It's not broken.. But it's still bleeding so we're gonna hold this ice pack on to reduce the swelling and it should hopefully stop bleeding soon. Just lean forward to encourage the blood to come out of your nose, rather than down your throat. Sound like a plan?" She questioned, sitting back on her knees as she peeled the bloody gloves off her hands. She snapped the ice pack to activate it and wrapped it in her bloody shirt before handing it back to him to hold against his face. She looked up and watched as he nodded his head in response. "Cool.." Cate added with a sigh as she twisted so that she was sat down rather than on her knees. It was then she realised that she was actually topless and a quick glance around revealed to her that people were looking. "Great." She grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Here.." Juice said from her side and she noticed him shrugging off his hoodie one arm at a time whilst holding the shirt to his face, before holding it out towards her. "Take this." He told her and she hesitated briefly before taking it from his hands. She pulled it on and zipped it right up, suddenly feeling more comfortable now that she was no longer exposed. Immediately, she was aware of the smell seeping from the material which now surrounded her body; it was Juice all over, as if he were wrapping himself around her, suffocating her. It took all her power not to gather the material up and take a big whiff from it. It was an intoxicating smell; aftershave, petrol and just _Juice_.

"Thank you.." She said quietly, looking up to see him staring down at her.

"What happened back there? With the phone and the runnin'?" He asked and Cate sighed heavily.

"Ross was there. He called me and he was just _there_.. So I went all mad woman and thought I'd tackle him to the ground, I don't know.." She summed up with a shrug of her shoulders, being rather blasé about the situation.

"Ross? He's stalkin' you now?" He sounded angry and she wasn't surprised. He'd been angry about it before too, and had wanted to know if he tried to contact her again. "That slimy motherfu-."

"Juice, it's fine.. I can hold my own. I scared him off anyway." She explained which didn't do much to calm him down since he looked super tense with the latest Ross revelation. "If we're gonna talk, can we talk about something else for now please?" She said as she lowered herself back against the grass, lying down as she did previously, only this time she had Juice sat down right beside her.

"I didn't sleep with her." Juice suddenly blurted out in quite a low voice, she imagined it was because it was only for her ears. Cate rolled her head to the side where Juice was sat and looked up at him, he was staring ahead. "She wasn't there when I fell asleep.. I swear it." He continued and Cate watched as his facial expression changed into one of sadness. She remained quiet though.. Not quite sure of what to say, and not sure if he'd finished with what he wanted to say either. "I _really_ like ya, Cate.. Like.. I wouldn't wanna hurt ya like that.." She was still staring up at him from her position on the grass and was looking up at him as he returned his gaze to her, meeting her stare. "You gotta believe me.." There was something similar to pain in his voice and it almost broke her heart. For some reason, he reminded her so much of herself in terms of his emotions. She knew there was a lot to him, a history to him which she'd yet to find out. She imagined if any of it was similar to her own. She already knew he suffered with OCD, which she had herself. And they were both equally awkward.. She wondered how many other things they shared in common.

"I do.." She admitted quietly, playing with a piece of her dark hair, wrapping it around and around her index finger. She hadn't wanted to believe him so suddenly, but she did. Something in her gut told her he was being genuine and she hoped it wasn't wrong. She sighed heavily and straightened her head, looking up at the cloudless, blue sky. "What about yesterday? The tow truck you never took.. The lie about where you'd been?" She questioned, thinking that now was as good a time as any. She heard him sigh then and she looked back towards him, watching as he shuffled where he was sat and adjusted the ice pack against his nose.

"I can't talk about that here.." He began and Cate let out a short laugh, pushing herself up so that she was sat. "Don't do that, Cate.. It's not what you think. I just _can't_ talk about it _here_.." He stressed his point, desperation in his eyes. She sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

"What's so bad that you can't tell me about it now?" She challenged, turning to face him slightly.

"Please.. Just let me talk to you later on when we're back at TM?" He suggested and Cate chewed on the inside of her lip as she pondered on the thought.

"Fine.." She agreed after some moments of thought. "But if you don't tell me and I'm not satisfied with your reasons.. I'm done. _Really_ done." She informed him, completely serious. She wasn't going to be taken for a fool. She'd give him one chance to explain whatever it was he needed to explain and that was it. He grinned then, dimples appearing in his cheeks and she rolled her eyes. "Let me see your nose.." She reached for it but he gently batted her hand away.

"Nah.. It's still bleedin'.. I can feel it.." He told her and she squinted her eyes up at him.

"You're lying.." She accused.

"Honestly, it's still goin'.. You're gonna have to sit with me a little while longer.." He added and Cate suddenly picked up on his ruse.

"Fine.. You can warn me if any bee's start buzzing my way." She joked as she lay back down on the grass, popping her sunglasses back over her eyes.

"Whatever you want, doc.." Juice answered, and Cate smiled and rolled her head to the side slightly to get a better look at him. Catching his grin which she returned with a small smile.


	30. Chapter 30

AN: this is just a bit of a filler until the juicy chapter commenced! I kind reviewer asked about a Juice POV. I may attempt it in the future, I'm just concerned I won't portray our Juicey boy very well! I hope you enjoy this little update. Many thanks. Jade x

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CHAPTER 30

The afternoon passed by smoothly after all of the dramatic events that had unfolded at the start of it. She'd fixed up a few bumps and cuts (mostly on kids) and had done her job as first aider quite efficiently, she thought. It was obviously a lot different from what she was used to, but then again, the hospital was a lot different from what she was used to. Back in the army, she was used to seeing men with their internal organs _outside_ of their bodies, limbs blown off, skulls fractured, and deep tissue lacerations. Hospital life was different. St Thomas wasn't a major trauma centre; it was just a little local hospital. Her usual encounters now were minor motor vehicle collisions, men being sloppy with their power tools and people taking falls. Did she miss the excitement and adrenaline that came with a major trauma? Sure. But would she feel the same if she _were_ to be around major traumas after everything that had happened? She didn't know. But here she was now, providing first aid to a ten year old that'd bumped his head.

"You'll be fine, little man.. Just watch where you're going next time, OK?" She told the young boy who nodded his head enthusiastically and ran off. His mother gave Cate a smile and thanked her for her help before following after her son. Cate watched briefly before turning around to sit back down on the plastic chair behind Gemma's stand. A look around revealed that things were dying down now and people were starting to pack up their stalls and stands. She looked around and noticed Juice stood not so far away, his nose horribly bruised and she actually felt quite bad about it. She hadn't realised how riled up with anger and adrenaline she had been back when she'd seen Ross.. She didn't like feeling that angry. The last time she felt like that was when she made a scene back at the bar when she'd embarrassed herself in front of her colleagues. It seemed like it was all getting a little out of hand lately and she wondered if it was going to be one of her PTSD symptoms taking control over the others for a change. With a sigh, she reached her arms up in a stretch, hoping to relieve some of the tension she felt in her back and shoulders.

"We're gonna start packing up here, doc.. Wanna lend a hand?" She heard Gemma ask from her side and she turned to look at the older woman, nodding her head in agreement.

"Sure." She answered, pushing herself up from the chair and over to the stand where Gemma and some of the other girls had already made a start on packing everything up.

"You can take this back to the car and I'll meet you there, the boys will do the rest.." Gemma informed her, passing her the large cooking pot that her chilli had been stored in; which was now not so surprisingly, empty.

"You got it, boss." Cate teased, resulting in a grin from Gemma. Cate gave a small smile in return before she turned around and made her way towards the parking lot. As she walked, she passed Juice who had been talking to Jax and Tig and flashed him a small smile as she noticed him look towards her in the brief moment it took her to pass him. As she walked further, she heard some footsteps rush up behind her.

"I won't ask if you want any help.." Juice spoke from her side and Cate couldn't help but laugh at the comment. Obviously referring back to the morning when she'd snapped at him for trying to carry something heavy for her.

"That's probably a good idea." She confirmed, glancing sideways towards him, noticing his big old grin but she also couldn't help but notice the big old bruises starting to come through above it. "Does it hurt?" She asked.

"What? This?" He asked, gesturing towards his nose. Cate gave a roll of her eyes and nodded in response. He always maintained a good sense of humour; she had to give him that. "Nah.. It doesn't hurt _that_ bad." He was lying and she knew it. Nose injuries like that were a bitch; they would throb and they would hurt. She smiled a little though; amused at the brave face he was putting on.

"Whatever you say, Juice.." She replied in a disbelieving tone of voice, but still smiled nonetheless.

"I'll have to come up with somethin' to tell the others though.. Can't have them-."

"Can't have them thinking you got whacked by the little lady.. I get it." She teased, grinning as she approached Gemma's car. Thankfully, Juice swept forwards and opened the boot for her and she slid the metal container into the back, letting out a breath once she'd put it down.

"Exactly.. I got street cred to think about, yknow?" Juice played along. Cate laughed as she turned to face Juice, arms crossed around her chest. He was grinning towards her and she rolled her eyes, leaning back to rest against Gemma's vehicle.

"Oh I totally get it.. Can't be the big bad mechanic who gets beaten about by his lady friend.." She answered with a small shrug of her shoulders. She noticed then, that for just a short moment, Juice's expression seemed to falter. Her own smile dropped then but Juice returned his just as quickly as he'd lost it, but Cate wasn't stupid. Something was bothering him and she imagined it was to do with the fact that he was lying about something. He'd been lying about it since he'd told her he had to go to work but actually _hadn't_ gone to work. Something was up, she wasn't blind, nor was she stupid.

"I want to talk _now_ Juice." She told him in the most serious tone of voice she could muster. He looked down at her, still smiling, but it slowly dropped away in response to her words. "I don't want to talk later.. I don't want any more excuses.. I want to know what's going on and I want to know now." She continued. Juice stared down at her for a moment longer and it looked as though he were thinking, thinking so hard that his head would explode at any minute. He then looked away from her and over her shoulder, she sighed quietly.

"I told you we could talk back at the garage.. You said we could.." He replied quietly, reaching back to rub the back of his neck. This was all body language that Cate was very aware of, she was observant, she always had been.

"You see, I don't think that's going to happen.. I think we'll get there and something will come up and you _won't_ have to talk to me. And then it'll get postponed and it'll never happen." She theorised, pushing herself away from the vehicle to pace slightly. She took a few steps away from Juice, reaching up to push her hands over her head, sweeping her hair away from her face, before she turned back around to face him. "Either we talk about this now.. Or we don't talk at all. _Ever_." She gave the ultimatum. Sure, it may have seemed dramatic, but she'd had enough of it all. A look of surprise spread across his features and he opened his mouth to talk, but nothing came out. And then he tried again.

"Seriously?" He asked, a look of confusion upon his bruised face.

"Seriously." She didn't even hesitate in her response. "I've had enough of waiting for you Juice.. I'm not going to wait anymore. Don't you think I deserve better? I've been tolerant and understanding since day one.." She sighed, dropping her hands to rest on her hips. She noticed how his jaw clenched and unclenched and he looked around before returning his gaze to her. Slowly, he took a few steps closer to her and she stood her ground, watching as he approached. "I like you too, Juice.. But you're making it difficult because you're giving me reasons to _not_ like you." Cate added quietly, feeling quite sad at the revelation. He stared down at her and she held his gaze, not breaking it.

"Fine.." He sighed, tension in his shoulders disappearing as she noticed him visibly relax. "Not here though.." He reasoned and Cate decided she'd at least allow him that.

"My place?" She suggested, but mostly for her own benefit. She wanted to be in her safe zone if what he had to say ended up being something she didn't want to hear. At least then, she could kick him out if she needed to.

"Sure." He agreed with a nod of his head and a small smile down at her. "Let's ride.." He nodded towards his bike before taking off. Cate watched him for a moment and she looked over towards the direction she'd come from and she noticed Gemma walking towards her. She caught her gaze and she noticed Gemma look towards Juice, before looking back towards herself, a small smile evident on her lips. Gemma gave a nod towards her. Clearly, Cate had been silently informing Gemma of her intentions and had just been given the go ahead. "You comin' or what, doc?" She heard Juice call from his bike and she turned towards him.

"I'm coming!" She called and hurried towards Juice and his bike. She took the helmet, secured it on her head and climbed onto the back of his bike. There was no saying what he was going to tell her, but she wouldn't lie and say it didn't make her nervous. She was _terrified_ of the truth. She just hoped it wasn't as awful as she was thinking it could be.


	31. Chapter 31

AN: And here we go... Enjoy! x

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 **CHAPTER 31**

The vibrations running through her body came to a stop as Juice turned off the engine of his bike. They'd just pulled up onto her drive after a short journey and she still felt quite nervous about what was going to happen. Cate lifted her leg over the bike and steadied herself on her feet before unclipping the strap of the helmet from under her chin and passing it back to Juice. She cleared her throat and turned away from him so that she could walk ahead and unlock her front door. Once it was unlocked, she stepped in and held the door open for Juice, staring at his back and his decorated leather vest as he entered her home. The last time he was in her home, they'd spent some of it making out quite heavily and she found herself remembering their encounter briefly, before she broke herself out of it with a clear of her throat. Cate closed the front door and tossed her keys into a tray on a shelf, before wandering past Juice and down the hall.

"Would you like a drink?" She asked as she entered the kitchen where she intended on getting something for herself and her dry throat.

"Uh, you still got beer?" She heard him ask from the hall. Of course she still had beer.. She'd only bought it for him and he'd only managed to have one. Cate reached into the fridge and retrieved a beer and a bottle of water, which she immediately flicked back the lid on and took a long swig from. The cold water soothed her throat and she sighed in relief, before retreating from the kitchen. As she neared Juice, she smiled slightly and held the beer out towards him which he took from her in his large, coarse hand. "Thanks.." He spoke whilst untwisting the cap from his bottle. Cate gave a nod of her head before turning to her sofa, which she walked over to and sat down in her usual corner. However, she couldn't feel completely comfortable, she was too tense, so she found herself _literally_ sitting on the edge of her seat.

"So.." She began, watching Juice from her position on the sofa, who still hadn't moved from his position by the staircase yet.

"So.." He copied, taking a long swig from his beverage before turning to face Cate. She watched as he walked forward and placed his bottle down on the table before shrugging off his leather vest, draping it over the arm of the sofa. He then sat down across from her, retrieving his beer again. It felt awkward and she didn't like it, she vaguely remembered a conversation when they first met, about not wanting things to be awkward. She watched him take another mouthful of his beer and she drew in a deep breath before looking down at the bottle of water in her hands, which she then placed down on the coffee table in front of her. It seemed as though Juice wouldn't be starting this interaction.

"Are you seeing other women?" She thought she'd get straight to the point of her main concern, she heard him cough on his beer and she looked towards Juice and his shocked expression. "I mean.. It's not that you can't, I guess.. We've only seen each other a handful of times. But I don't really stand for that.. I don't _like_ that.. I don't _share_.. So if that's the case, I can't see you anymore." She explained, watching him intently for reactions. She was putting herself out there, likely embarrassing herself, but she didn't really care much. She just wanted to get to the bottom of it all. It was silent in the moments that followed before the sound of gentle laughter broke through the deafening silence. Cate felt herself frown. Why was he laughing? "This isn't funny, Juice." She told him seriously, trying not to feel offended but not really succeeding.

"No.. I know it's not, I'm sorry.." He said through a laugh, and she raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"But you're still laughing." She deadpanned.

"I know, I'm sorry.. I just.." He paused and drew in a deep breath. She noticed his laughter had stopped but a slight smile still remained. He reached up to rub his chin before looking towards her. "No, I haven't been seeing other girls." He admitted and Cate felt relief in her core, but it was short-lived. If he wasn't seeing other people, what had he been up to? Why was he disappearing all of the time? And why was he lying about where he'd been?

"Then where did you go yesterday?" She asked, hands resting on her knees as she sat up straight – her body was tense which was resulting in muscle aches all over.

"I was doing a job.." He spoke lowly before taking another mouthful from his beer. He'd be finished soon if he didn't slow down.

"Yes.. You said that yesterday. That you had to do a pick-up.. But you weren't there, the truck was but you weren't." She challenged.

"I was doing _another_ job." He was still being evasive and it infuriated Cate to no end.

"So you're hiding the fact that you have to work 2 jobs?" She made a guess, feeling quite confused. There was no harm in working a second job to get by, she didn't understand why he'd want to hide it, unless it was all down to ego and pride.

"No.. It's not like that." He replied and Cate suddenly groaned in frustration and she pushed herself up to her feet quickly.

"Then what is it Juice?" She exclaimed, throwing her arms up in frustration and they fell back down to her sides with a gentle smack. She sighed heavily and reached up, covering her face with her hands for a moment before pushing them back, sweeping hair from her face. "Just get to the point.. I'm not here to play 'guess the issue'." She added quietly, lowering her voice from before as she calmed herself down. "Either you get to the point and tell me, or you get out." She told him, crossing her arms as she turned to face him, standing opposite where he was sat, on the other side of the coffee table. He was staring at her and silence filled the space between them.

"I was doing a job with the others.." He began as he sat forwards, elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped in front of him. "We were riding with a truck.. Protecting its cargo." He explained and Cate suddenly felt confused.

"You were what?" She asked, seeking some clarification to what she had just heard.

"Protecting cargo.." He repeated and Cate suddenly rolled her eyes.

"Yes I know that!" She blurted out. "Protecting what?" She corrected, making it a little clearer for him. But she could tell that he was being intentionally evasive. He sighed and reached up to rub his face; hopefully he was giving in and going to stop being such a brick wall.

"Some dude paid us to ride with a shipment of electronics he was moving.. Wanted us to make sure nobody tried stealin' it.." He admitted. Cate frowned slightly and she crossed her arms over her chest, her hands buried in the sleeves of Juice's hoodie which were too long for her arms.

"Why? Why would they want you to do that? You're mechanics.. You're not gonna be of any use if someone wanted to steal that stuff.." Cate spoke, trying to figure out why they'd even done it.

"We're not _just_ mechanics, Cate.." Juice sighed, annoyance evident in his voice. Why was he annoyed? What right did he have to be annoyed at her? Perhaps he was annoyed that he finally had to give something up and come clean to whatever it was. But he'd confused her again with his new admission.

"Apparently you're bodyguards too, huh?" She joked with a laugh which lacked conviction. It wasn't funny, her laugh was not humorous. In fact, she was starting to feel a little bit concerned.

"Hecate.." Juice warned and she looked over at him and his serious expression.

"What else are you then?" She asked quietly as the seriousness of the situation became more apparent to her. And then, it was almost as if a light bulb flickered on above her head.

" _They're menaces, Cate.."_ Ross' voice echoed in her head as she was reminded of their conversation about Juice at one of their sessions. _"I just want what's best for you.."_ Wayne's voice appeared next, the memory of their chat projecting in her mind. _"You'd tell me if there was anything I should know about right?"_ She'd asked him. Wayne had paused in thought and then he had smiled at her. _"Sure_." He'd said. The rumours at the hospital, of a menace motorbike gang, causing trouble with the police, yet locals seemed to praise them. Had Ross been right? Did Wayne know something? Had he lied to her about it? Kept secrets from her when she'd specifically asked to know about it?

"Cate?" Juice's voice broke her from her internal revelation and she glanced over to him, not quite sure how to feel or what to say.

"What do you do?" She asked quietly, her voice almost sounding broken. "What do _The Sons of Anarchy_ do?" She corrected, gaze fixed on him. His expression morphed into one of shock and she knew then that she was right. He slowly pushed himself up off the sofa, and she watched him as he stood, watching her from across the table.

"Cate.." He said gently and she shook her head. Maybe he'd clocked onto her body language and gauged how she was feeling. Now was not a time to try and calm her down.

"No. You need to tell me the truth, right _now!"_ She hadn't meant to raise her voice with her last words, but she had.

"Ok.. Ok.. Just calm down.." Juice soothed and she laughed bitterly.

"You really don't wanna be telling me to calm down right now, Juice.. I'll calm down once you tell me what's going on.." She growled.

"We're a family, Cate.. It's been going on for years.." He suddenly began and Cate quietened down so that she could hear him. "We have patched members and we have other charters and we _work_ together.. We make money.." He opened up like a floodgate and Cate just stood there, listening and taking it all in. "We protect people, we do shit that benefits the club, we make money.." He continued and Cate couldn't really see him anymore, she was just listening, and everything else blurred away. "It used to be straight a-and clean.." He stammered, the first time she'd heard him sound truly nervous. "But.. I don't know, Cate. We're not bad people.. I mean, some of 'em might've been but we're not.." He rambled on but suddenly stopped. "There's all these roles for people, like.. I'm the intelligence officer.. I'm good with computers, I'd say I'm pretty smart at that.." She picked up on his attempt at being funny but it didn't matter much to Cate, in fact, she was sure she was in a temporary state of shock. "Cate?"

She was staring past Juice at this point, her gaze fixed on the window behind him. She felt quite numb as he body took in all the new information and tried to process it. She could hear her heart thudding in her ears, her slow and steady breathes escaping through her nose and lips. Everything was still and silent as she retreated into her little bubble, trying to process everything like a slow and out of date computer. Suddenly, it all hit her like a freight train and she was suddenly aware of a stinging sensation in her eyes; tears. They were slowly taking over her eyes, blurring her vision and threatening to spill over the threshold of her eyelids.

"An outlaw biker gang.." She whispered, still staring past him. She noticed movement, he was moving around the coffee table and she suddenly took a step back. "Don't.." She warned quickly. When she moved her eyes to look towards him, it pushed a tear from her eye and it trickled down the edge of her nose and down to her lip. "I.. I _defended_ you.. To Ross.. To Wayne.." she explained quietly, looking at his feet but not lifting her gaze to meet his face. "They all warned me.. I told 'em they were stupid.." She laughed a quiet and bitter laugh. Suddenly she reached up and wiped her fingers over her cheeks, ridding them of the wetness the tears had left behind. "I'm so naïve.. I don't know how I didn't see it.." She spoke out, but mostly to herself, and she laughed quietly.

"Cate.. Nothings different, it doesn't change me.. I'm still the same Juice.." He insisted and she looked up at him now, seeing the hurt in his own face as he took another step towards her. Cate didn't move back this time, instead she slowly lowered herself and sat down on the edge of the coffee table.

"This is a _huge_ thing to keep from me Juice.." She whispered, lowering her head into her hands, elbows resting on parted knees. She heard movement in front of her but didn't bother to look. "Wayne _lied_ to me.." She continued and then another thought hit and she laughed again, raising her head from her hands. "Gemma.. She kept this from me too." She shook her head and glanced forward, which was when she noticed Juice on his knees in front of her, a look of concern on his features. "You all lied to me." Hurt was present in her voice. She didn't want to be this weak and feeble woman, but she couldn't help it. She was obviously emotionally unstable, and as much as she wanted to be strong, she couldn't.

"No.. Cate.." Juice hushed and she felt his hands cup her face; she looked up to face him. "You were new here.. You didn't know anythin' about us.. I've seen girls dragged into this life and it's horrible. I thought it'd be ok without you knowin' yet but I kept havin' to leave and you didn't know and you thought I was foolin' around and.." He stopped and he sighed, Cate watched him intently. "I wanted to tell you sooner but Clay.. Wouldn't like that."

"But you're telling me anyway?" She questioned quietly.

"Yeah.. I like you, Cate.. I _really_ like ya.. I hated you thinkin' I was foolin' around.. I guess this ain't much better.." He finished in a slightly light-hearted voice and Cate couldn't stop the small laugh that fled from her lips. She sighed and lowered her gaze, reaching her hands up to cup Juice's which were still cupping her face.

"I need to process this, Juice.." She admitted. It was hard. She liked Juice a lot and she didn't want to just throw that away, it had been so long since she'd found a man she'd liked this much and she didn't want to let it go.

"I know.. I get that." He responded, stroking a thumb across her cheek, the feeling creating chills down her spine. She felt him rest his forehead against her own and she sighed, closing her eyes as she leant into him. Next, she felt him press his lips to hers. It was a gentle kiss, just a peck, similar to their first kiss back at the hospital. It was innocent, not needy or desperate. It was a pleasant, comforting gesture. She pulled back and reached for his hands again, only this time she pulled them away from her face. She opened her eyes and caught his intense, hazel stare. She gave him the tiniest of smiles.

"I need you to leave, Juice.. Can you please go?" She requested quietly and watched as his expression changed. "I just need to be by myself.." She explained briefly. "Please?" She asked, holding his hands between her own. After a pause, he nodded his head slowly and sniffed as he pushed himself up to his feet.

"Sure.. Whatever you need.." He agreed verbally and she watched him as he straightened up and made a move to collect his jacket; branded with the Sons of Anarchy patch, which taunted her and her recent revelation. "I'll see myself out.." He added quietly and she lowered her head back into her hands, listening as his footsteps retreated and seconds later the door opened and closed. The sound of his engine rumbled in the background, which was enough to temporarily mask the sound of Cate's quiet sniffles, as fresh tears dripped onto her jeans.


	32. Chapter 32

AN: soooo my laptop isn't working! I had half of this written already and I had to do the rest on my phone! So if there's a delay with the next update, that is why! Here's the next chapter for all you wonderful people! And I'd like to thank Ang R for enlightening me about what you guys might like to see! Enjoy! X

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CHAPTER 32

Juice was in an _actual_ biker gang. They made money by doing jobs. What sort of jobs did they do? Did they run drugs? Sell weapons? Kill people? She knew that it was all unlikely but nothing was for certain. Why would they need an 'intelligence officer' or someone who is good with computers? She had so many questions, thoughts and concerns.. They were all just floating around her head, drowning her with new uncertainty.

She didn't know how long she'd been sat there with her head in her hands, staring ahead at nothing, sat in the silence of her living room. It was only when she heard her phone ringing that she was pulled out of her thoughtful daze. Her living room was a lot darker now, and she wondered how long she had actually been sat there thinking. Cate cleared her dry throat as she reached for her ringing phone and answered it.

"Hello?" She answered quietly, sitting back on the edge of the sofa.

"Hey doc.. Can you tell me why Juice came back a few hours ago looking like a kicked puppy and why your car is still sat out in the lot?" Gemma's voice sounded in her ear and Cate instantly tensed.. She was annoyed at the older woman, and rightly so.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Cate responded bluntly.

"Aren't you coming to get it? No good if you need it and its sat here.." Gemma continued to trail off but Cate wasn't interested in what she had to say about her car.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Cate suddenly asked and was met with silence on the other end of the phone.

"Tell you what, sweetheart?" Gemma responded.

"About the sons.. About what they do." Cate clarified and she could only imagine the expression of shock on Gemma's face.

"Juice finally told you then.." Gemma assumed and Cate rolled her eyes, pushing herself up off the sofa.

" _Yeah_.. Juice told me." Cate snapped, slowly pacing around her living room.

"Ah.. And I gather you're mad about it?" Gemma questioned and Cate couldn't believe it. She let out a bitter, short laugh.

"Of course I'm mad about it! You all kept it from me.. Made me look like an idiot.. You should've told me." Cate spoke, standing in front of her window where she peered out at the setting sun.

"Sweetheart, I didn't _have_ to tell you anything.." It was Gemma's turn to sound annoyed. "We don't trust easy." Cate sighed and rested her head against the wall. "What did he tell you?" She sounded interested in that.

"Just that they all work together and do jobs for money.. He works with computers.. He didn't have to say anything else. I'd already been warned by Ross and got a funny feeling about the way Wayne reacted when I spoke to him about you and Juice. It kinda all fell together.." Cate explained, turning around to lean back against the wall.

"Right.." Gemma spoke, sounding uncertain of something. "Listen, I like you doc.. And I don't say that shit freely to just anybody.. Now come and get your car and join this party for a little while.." Gemma insisted and Cate found herself thinking. She had always got the impression that Gemma wasn't friendly to _everybody_ and so she'd always been quite happy that she and her got on quite well. She'd taken to Gemma and it seemed as if Gemma had taken to her too.

"Party?" Cate asked.

"Yeah.. A party.. Y'know, music and drinks and dancin'.." Sarcasm rolled through the phone and Cate rolled her eyes. A party at Teller-Morrow only meant that Juice would be there.. _and_ she'd be thrown into the Son's Of Anarchy experience, only just after finding out about what they do.

"Sure." Cate replied, as if her own voice betrayed her thoughts.

"Great. I'll see you soon.." The line went dead then and Cate groaned, tilting her head back against the wall. She couldn't go.. She wouldn't. She needed time to cool off and be by herself. But on the other hand, she wanted to go. She wanted to see Juice, she wanted to be around his 'family' and experience it for herself. She remembered the BBQ Gemma had invited her to, it had been fun and she hadn't got a bad vibe from anyone there. Perhaps she was overreacting about it all. Just because they were in a club and did jobs for money, didn't necessarily mean it were bad things. She didn't know enough about it to make a judgement.. She'd need to speak to Juice about it more.

Hecate sighed and pushed herself away from the wall before heading up to her bedroom where she decided she would get changed and actually attend the party. She didn't need to stay long.. She could see what it was like and then leave with her car. Juice invaded her mind at that point. She couldn't be mad at him forever.. He'd been honest with her eventually; he could've continued to keep it from her if he'd wanted to. But then, he'd lied to her and she didn't like that. He'd kept a big thing from her and consequently made her feel like an idiot.

Cate changed into a simple black dress, it just looked like an oversized spaghetti strap vest but it hugged at her body and came down to her mid-thigh. It had been extremely hot outside during the day at the charity event and so she decided she'd wear something she'd be less likely to get hot in. The only issue with shorter dresses were that her scars became more exposed; her knee had the biggest of them, an array of messy white scars. Other smaller ones were scattered over the length of her legs too, from the shrapnel of many explosions, but the majority were from the incident that cost Cate her career and her sanity. She tousled her dark hair but the majority of the curls had already fallen out, not that she minded much. Cate slipped her feet into a pair of black flats, pushed on a couple of rings and grabbed her denim jacket before leaving her bedroom.

As Cate descended her stairs, she heard somebody knock at her front door. She frowned slightly, unsure of who would be on the other side of the door, since she wasn't expecting anybody. Cate paused for a moment, the image of her gun in her bedside cabinet sprung to mind, but she pushed it aside and proceeded towards the door. She opened it slowly to reveal a young man at her door in a leather vest, who she recognised to be the same man from the hospital before and the event today. He was 'the prospect' Juice had told her about. What that meant? She'd have to ask Juice, wouldn't she.

"Can I help you?" She asked, opening the door wider as she stood within it.

"Uh.. Hey.. Gemma sent me to pick you up.. Said she didn't want you walking out there.." The light-haired man explained and Cate suddenly felt herself relax. She peered over his shoulder and noticed the pick-up truck, before looking back towards his face.

"Right.. Let me just shut up shop here and I'll be down in a sec.." Cate informed him and he nodded his head before turning back towards the truck. Cate turned and went through the lower level of her house, switching off the lights. As she made her way back towards the door, she picked up her phone and her car keys from the side before leaving the house. After locking the front door, she crossed her path and made her way over to the truck, which she climbed into effortlessly. She couldn't help but think that the last time she was in the truck was with Juice, it was the first time they met. She smiled slightly before looking towards the unknown man as he started up the engine.

"What's your name?" She asked out of curiosity, feeling rude that she only knew him as 'the prospect'.

"I'm Half-Sack.." He answered and Cate felt her eyebrows rise. What was it with the unusual nicknames?

"Right… May I ask _why_?" She laughed, prompting a small grin out of the nervous man sat in the driver's seat, who'd just begun to drive the truck away from Cate's house.

"I lost one of my.." He paused as a flush took over his cheeks and he cleared his throat, gesturing down to his groin. Cate's eyebrows rose again and her jaw dropped slightly. "In Iraq.." He finished, clearing his throat again. "So.. Half-Sack." This captured Cate's attention. Iraq meant he must have served. It made her somewhat nervous to be beside someone who'd been in the Army.

"Iraq.. You served?" She asked, watching him with a careful gaze. He gave a bid nod of his head and smiled, glancing sideways at her, a glance that she captured.

"Damn straight.." He responded, sounding proud of his admission. And why shouldn't he be? Cate gave a small smile before moving her gaze away and turning to look out of the windscreen. Her heart was starting to race within her chest, and a cold sweat made her hands feel damp. She was experiencing the all too familiar symptoms of a panic attack, but she was fighting against it as hard as she could, not wanting to embarrass herself. It was neither the time nor the place to succumb to her anxiety. The thought of the army had triggered the reaction within her. Simply because she was around someone who had served, as she did, and had been injured out there too – even if it was only minor. She looked out of the window to her side and focused on her breathing, hoping that it would pass, or that the journey would be over quickly.

It wasn't long before Half-Sack pulled into the lot, which was full of bikes and life. And as soon as he had parked up, Cate had pushed open the door and shot out of the van, unintentionally slamming the door behind her. She walked off to the side of a lot out of sight of everybody else and leant forward against a wall, drawing in a deep breath of somewhat fresh air. She let it out slowly in the form of a shaky breath. She had felt like she was suffocating in the front of that truck, like she was going to explode.

"Hey, are you OK?" His voice sounded from not so far behind her and she quickly nodded her head.

"I'm fine.. Thanks for the ride!" She called back to him, dismissing him with her statement. She didn't turn to see if he had gone, she just focused on catching her breath and calming herself down.

After five more minutes or so, she'd calmed herself down completely and felt better enough to leave the safety of the shadows. She slowly walked around the pick-up truck and looked towards the garage, there were people everywhere and music was blaring. She suddenly wondered if she'd made the right choice in attending. She paused in the middle of the lot and glanced towards her vehicle, parked up where she'd left it in the morning. It was teasing her, giving her an escape if she wanted it. And it was ever so tempting.

"Cate?" Juice's voice sounded from ahead and she looked towards him. He was stood ahead at the entrance to the garage, a look of surprise evident on his bruised features as he looked over at her. Cate felt just the same, she was nervous by the sight of him and a chill ran down her spine and left her hairs on end.. A reaction she often got when she was in his presence. He walked towards her then and Cate let him, but she didn't move to meet him in the middle, she felt as if she had frozen to the spot. "What are you doing here?" He asked softly, coming to a stop a little ahead of her.

Cate went to reply but her breath caught in her throat and she shut her mouth. She'd realised in that moment that she'd made the wrong choice in going to the party. She couldn't do it, she couldn't be around him or the 'club' just yet, not after everything that had come to light. Cate's gaze lingered on Juice for a moment longer before she snapped out of her thoughts. She needed to go. She _had_ to leave.

"I can't." She let out under a breath before turning on her heel and hurriedly making her way towards her car, her saviour, her means of escape.

"Cate!" She heard Juice call from behind her, panic in his tone. But she ignored it, pushed his voice out of her mind and pulled open her car door before climbing into the drivers seat. Within seconds she had her keys in the ignition, engine on, and had her car in gear. After a quick glance in her rear-view where she caught Juice's figure making its way towards the car, she pushed the gear stick into first and left the lot. She'd accelerated so quick that the wheels spun for a second before they gripped and she was able to drive away from the thing that had induced her panic.

"What is happening?" She muttered to herself as she drove down the Main Street, her fingers curled so tightly around the steering wheel that her knuckles had turned white from pressure. This was all so new to her, it was unfamiliar ground. She didn't know how to deal with it or process the information. She'd been lied to from day one. Juice and Gemma had both kept it from her. And more importantly, Wayne had failed to mention anything. He was the Chief of police, he surely would've known about Juice being in this outlaw biker gang. How could he not? Charming was a small place and Wayne had lived there his whole life! Cate had issues with trusting people at the best of times, and this just made things so much worse. She drew in a deep and shaky breath as she drove, her thoughts we loud and she felt as though they were slowly suffocating her. Before she'd even realised where she was going, she'd taken a turn to the outskirts of the city and was nearing the cemetery.

Cate slowly pulled into the parking lot of the dark cemetery and parked up to the side. She shut off her engine and a silence ensued. She could count the number of times she'd been there on one hand, it often made her anxious being around the military graveyard, and she'd only visited when it was really necessary. The last time she was there, was when she'd bumped into Jax during one of her most vulnerable moments at her uncles headstone. Cate sighed and climbed out of her car, gently closing the door behind her. She then made her way slowly into the depths of the dark cemetery.

No matter how dark it was, the reflection of the moon on the pure white of the headstones made them glow, almost as if they were illuminating the path naturally. It was peaceful, minus the sound of some insects chirping in the background and the sound of the stray car passing by in the distance every so often. Usually, she didn't like the silence. But tonight she needed it, since her mind was already so loud. Cate stopped once she'd reached her Uncle's headstone and she stood in front of it, arms crossed around her chest, gazing down at it.

"I wish you were here.." she spoke softly, her voice full of sadness. "You'd know what to do.. You always did." She continued, feeling herself smile slightly as she remembered how knowledgable her Uncle had been, he was always so insightful. He was a wise man and she had always looked up to him, and she missed him dearly. There were times where she wished she'd moved to Charming to live with him back when she had the chance to. Cate, like lots of others, had many regrets.. and that was one of them. Slowly, she lowered herself to her knees and sat on them in front of the headstone, and then tucked some of her loose hair behind her ears. "I feel so alone.." she admitted to the memory of her uncle, a sad smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. It was true.. she did feel alone. She didn't have any friends, she isolated herself at work, and the new people in her life that she thought she could trust had made her question that decision entirely. Now here she was, speaking to a headstone because she felt she had nobody else she could talk to. Cate sighed heavily and she twisted around so that she was sat directly on the ground, with her back resting against the headstone. She tilted her head back against it and looked up at the starlit sky. "I miss Michael.." her voice broke as she made the admission to the sky. "I miss him so much." A tear rolled down her cheek but she didn't bother to reach up to wipe it away, she had nobody to hide from here. There wasn't a day that passed where she didn't think of her older brother at least once. She remembered his big, warm smile and his loud laugh. He'd been the best big brother a girl could ask for, and she missed him dearly. It was times like this when she wished he was still alive, he'd hug her and comfort her and make her laugh instead of cry. She sniffled quietly and closed her eyes for a few minutes, deciding to just stay and be alone for a while, hidden away from the world and all of her problems.

Almost an hour later, Cate had left the cemetery and was on her way home. She'd decided that she would just return home and try to get some sleep, if she could. She took a turn down her street and slowed down as she neared her Home, but that wasn't the only reason. She'd caught sight of a motorcycle parked on the side of her drive, and a figure was sat upon it. Closer inspection revealed it to be who she thought it would be.. Juice. The man who plagued her thoughts alongside her brother. What did he want now? And why was he there? Cate swallowed hard and pulled up onto her drive, where she parked up and switched off her engine before exiting her vehicle. She turned then and looked towards Juice who hadn't yet moved from his bike, but was looking over at her with a sheepish stare. They stared at each other In silence, as Cate absentmindedly fiddled with her car keys.

"Can we talk?" He asked, his voice firm yet soft. Cate took only a second to think, before she licked her dry lips and replied.

"Ok.."


	33. Chapter 33

AN: I've done this whole chapter on my phone! So apologies if it's short or if I've missed any spelling errors! Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you guys think! X

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CHAPTER 33

Silence fell between the pair as Cate walked through her home, the only sound was that of their footsteps on her wooden floorboards. She'd been surprised to see Juice out on her driveway when she arrived home, she had been expecting to just head in and go straight to bed. This wasn't how she envisioned her evening planning out, especially after her emotional visit to her Uncle's grave site.

"Do you want a drink?" She asked as she ventured into the kitchen.

"Nah thanks, I'm good.." Juice replied from behind her and Cate continued to reach into the fridge to retrieve a cold can of Diet Coke from the shelf.

"We can sit outside.." Cate suggested as she turned to face him, briefly catching his gaze, before she turned back towards the back doors, sliding them open before stepping outside. She was relieved to feel the cool air, considering it had been such a humid day. She often came and sat outside, enjoying the tranquility of the area and the stars which often littered the sky on a clear night. Cate sat down on the hammock and leant back in her seat, cracking open her can before taking a small mouthful. She glanced up to see Juice moving to stand opposite her, leaning back against the wooden railing which surrounded the edge of her porch.

"Have you been cryin'?" He suddenly asked with concern in his voice and Cate remained silent for a moment. She hadn't stopped to think about the fact that her face may bare evidence of her little emotional breakdown back at the cemetery. She'd come home and Juice was there and suddenly her thoughts had been hijacked by him, she'd forgotten that she had even been crying.

"Oh.." she began, not quite sure what to say or where to start.. or if she even should. "I went by the cemetery on my way home.." she admitted quietly, moving her gaze to stare back out at her garden and away from Juice's stare. She wouldn't lie. There were too many lies in her life at the moment and she wouldn't add to it or lower herself to doing so. "It's still very emotional being there.. it's very raw." She explained with a small shrug of her shoulders, tapping her fingertips gently against the side of the can, condensation transferring onto her fingertips.

"To see your uncle?" He asked and Cate nodded her head.

"Yeah.. I haven't been there much. I find it hard being around anything military related." She responded, taking another mouthful of the cold fizz before looking back towards Juice. It was like he hadn't even stopped looking at her, as when she looked back, her gaze met his directly again. "I wanted to get out of that damn truck tonight when I found out your friend had served.." she said with a short, humourless laugh. It all sounded silly but her anxiety was very much real. Juice looked confused then and she watched as his eyebrows rose.

"My friend?" He asked.

"Yes.. Half-Sack?" She answered and Juice gave a slow nod of his head.

"Gemma sent prospect to get ya?" He questioned and it was Cate's turn to nod. "She shoulda asked me.. I'd of got ya." He crossed his arms and Cate watched, knowing how strong his arms would look under his layers of clothing.

"It's probably for the best that she didn't.." Cate admitted, lowering her gaze from his to look down at the can which rest on her thigh and her fingers wrapped around it. She heard Juice sigh and then she heard movement, and then Juice was sat on the hammock bench next to her.

"I never meant to lie to you, Cate.. honestly, I'd never wanna hurt ya.." Juice spoke from her side as she tried to remain indifferent, gazing back out at the garden again, the scene flooded with moonlight and the small lamps she had lined along the edges of the path. "You're a good person, I can tell.. really good. You take care of sick people.. you fix em up and save lives. And you don't ask for anythin' in return.." he continued, his voice soft and low. Cate's throat felt dry, and so she swallowed hard, hoping the saliva would help but even her mouth felt dry. Nobody ever sung her praises or commended her for her work. Nobody recognised what she did or how hard she worked, for very little in return. She had saved lives, even though it meant risking her own. And even now, at St Thomas, she continued to fix people as best as she could. And when she came home at the end of a long day, who was there to tell her how good of a person she was? Nobody. Her demons and her ghosts haunted her at every turn, tormenting her and reminded her of all of her failures. She was never reminded of her victories. And so with Juice sat at her side, saying what he was saying, she felt quite emotional. But she held it back and hid it well, setting her jaw as she continued to stare ahead. "I don't often see good people, Cate.. my life has been full of bad. Bad everything.." he paused again. "And then you came along.. made me feel good.. like I'm worth somethin'.." Cate closed her eyes as she listened to him, trying to keep herself composed, but after her vulnerable evening at the cemetery, emotions were running high within her. She opened them again and dared a glance towards him, his brown eyes full of feelings.. she couldn't quite describe it. It was all very raw. "The club can ruin things.. I've seen it.. I guess I was worried about that.. yknow? I didn't want it to ruin something that felt so good.." she couldn't tear her eyes away, she owed him that much, even if they were stinging and she imagined that soon, she might betray herself and cry. "I got into this a while ago.. it was a place where I was accepted.. where I belonged. I haven't belonged anywhere for a long time.. and then I found the sons.. and they're my family." His voice was hoarse and she imagined it was all down to the feelings that were being brought up within him. That was it. It was enough to push a stray tear down her cheek, she felt the droplet run it's course freely down her face.

Juice was so much like her.. at least it sounded that way. He wanted to belong somewhere, to be around people who accepted him and felt like his family. It had been like that for Cate when she'd enrolled in the military. Times had been hard, her father hated her, her beautiful big brother had died too young and she was alone in the world. She had no mother to cry to, no friends, nobody.. everyone she'd loved had died. And then she enlisted and suddenly she'd found her home.

"I understand completely.." she admitted in a quiet voice and she tried to pull a smile but her lip quivered and she knew she was breaking. She turned back to look ahead and lifted a hand to her face, covering it, hiding herself feebly from the man to the side of her. She felt a big hand squeeze her shoulder.

"You don't need to hide from me.." He spoke quietly and Cate sniffled gently, before giving her eyes one last rub and dropping her hand into her lap. She looked at him then, noticing the small, sad smile on his face, still blemished with bruising from their little accident that morning.

"I just feel awful.. for jumping to conclusions so quickly.." Cate began, popping her can down on the ground before sitting back in her seat, looking back towards him again. "The military was my home, the guys there.. they were my family.. my brothers.. So I understand.. about needing to belong somewhere." She explained with a nod of her head, as if confirming it to herself too. Suddenly, she felt herself fill with a great deal of sadness, weighing down on her shoulders. "I had that taken from me.. pulled out from right beneath me.." She added quietly, lowering her gaze down to her lap and her hands, as she picked at the skin on the sides of her fingernails. "Suddenly I had no family again.. nowhere to belong.. I became a shell of myself.. And then I came here." Cate paused for a breath to calm herself down and as she did so, she felt Juice push his hand across her shoulder blades and he wrapped his arm around them, pulling her into his side. "I wouldn't ever want to see anybody have to go through that.. I wouldn't want to see you do that.." She felt her voice break and she stopped, trying to regain her strength. "I could never take that from you.. in fact, I respect that.. I'm OK with it.." She finally came to realise out loud. "I wish I had what you had." And with that remark, she felt herself break.

Fresh tears fell from her eyes as she felt herself cry quietly, and Juice pulled her tightly into his side. She turned her head into his warm chest, feeling leather against her cheek, which she cried into as he held her close. The last time she was like this was when Juice had carried her into the shower after finding her unconscious on the floor. He'd been there for her then, as he was now. He was in the process of hushing her and smoothing his hands down the back of her head when she cleared her throat. "If you want this.. with us.. I just need honesty, all the time.. even if you think I can't handle it. I'm stronger than you think.." she murmured as she pulled back and looked up at him, her tears suddenly subsided. His hands still held her head as he looked down at her, his expression soft.

"I know you are.. I think you're one of the strongest women I've ever met.." he said with a small smile and Cate couldn't help but laugh at him, a full on, belly laugh. "What's so funny?" Juice said through a laugh of his own. Cate took a few calming breaths as he laughing eases and she shook her head, as much as his hands cupping her skull would allow for.

"I'm strong.. Yet here I am crying on you.." she said with another laugh before it trailed off again. She looked up to see Juice looking down at her with a small grin, his lips pressed shut.

"It makes you human." He commented, completely seriously and Cate gazed up at him. He was such a strange man but he had so much spirit, kindness and empathy.. she couldn't quite pin him down but she liked that about him. He was the total opposite of what she imagined he would be like the very first time she saw him. His outside appearance screamed 'bad man', but he was anything but that.

"You're a good man, Juan Carlos.." she told him quietly, watching as his own brown eyes examined hers. His grin widened and his dimples deepened in his cheeks. It was then that Cate stretched up and pressed her lips gently against his, and she felt him smile under her touch. He pulled away from her and Cate's eyebrows raised as she looked up at him, questioning his actions.

"You do have what I have.." he stated and Cate knew that she must have looked confused. "A family.." he added and suddenly it all clicked into place. "You'll have us.. We'll be your family." He finished and Cate suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotion, but before she could let it overcome her, Juice had leant down and pressed his lips against hers again.

The kiss began slow, just the simple touch of his lips to her own. But a desire overcame her and she shifted in her seat to get closer to Juice as their lips moved more desperately against one another, each seeking for entrance, for more. She felt his hands on her hips and suddenly he was pulling her, and she found herself climbing over him to perch on his lap, facing him. The kiss was frantic, as if they'd been starved of water in the desert and had finally found an oasis. She reached up to cup the back of his head between her hands, holding him close as her tongue crossed the barrier of his lips, which he returned with fevour. She'd never felt so alive, so full of passion and heart. But she didn't want to rush anything, she didn't want to do this whilst she was so overwhelmed with emotion. She pulled away, her forehead resting against his as she caught her breath. She noticed him grinning and she couldn't help but smile too.

"This needs to be slow.. so much has happened today.. I just need to digest it all.." She explained and she felt him nod his head, their foreheads still pressed to one another.

"I get it.." Juice answered with a grin, before he reached up to steal another quick kiss from her. Cate smiled, brushing the pads of her thumbs gently against the stubble of his head.

"Will you stay?" She asked, similar to when she'd asked him to stay back when she was being plagued by visions of her war days.

"Of course.." Juice replied without any hesitation. Cate smiled, quickly licked her dry lips before pushing herself up from Juice's lap. Once she was up, she reached out for his hand, which he gave her, and she lead him inside.

Minutes later they were upstairs in Cate's bedroom, Cate had changed into a tshirt and some shorts and had climbed into her bed. She noticed the Juice seemed to move awkwardly and she sat up straight, holding the sheet back for him. "I just want to lay with you.." She admitted quietly, feeling exposed and open in that moment. He nodded his head at her and she watched as he kicked off his boots, took off his cut and hoodie before climbing in next to her. He was still in his trousers and top but she didn't question it. Once he was settled, Cate shimmied down and pulled the sheet over herself before eliminating the space between them by shuffling up by his side, resting her head lightly on his chest. "Goodnight.." She breathed whilst listening to the beating of his heart, feeling oddly comforted by the sound. She felt his hand then, drifting gently over the side of her head and down to rest on her waist.

"Goodnight, Cate.." she heard him reply in a voice which sounded almost as tired as she imagined hers did. Cate stared ahead at the cabinet and her tags hanging from the side, as tiredness overcame her. And for once, she wasn't saddened by the sight of them. She felt comforted and the last thing she remembered doing before falling asleep, was smile.


	34. Chapter 34

AN: Hey everyone! I'm sorry for being absent for so long. There's been a lot going on, and to top it off my laptop isn't totally busted! So this was all written on my phone again. Anyway, what better way to return than with a bit of long awaited private times between Juice & Cate? As always, thank you all for the favourites and follows and reviews are always kindly appreciated :) Jade x

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 **CHAPTER 34**

Cate slowly began to rouse from her deep sleep, stretching her legs out straight beneath the blankets, warmth engulfing her from a body which lie beside her.. Juice. The thought of him lying beside her brought a tired smile to her lips and she slowly opened her tired eyes, turning her head sideways to face him. She was shocked to see that he was awake, head propped up with his chin in his hand, grinning sleepily down at her.

"Were you watching me sleep?" She asked, voice low and rough from her sleep, her throat dry and in need of some water. He shook his head, but the grin remained and she knew in that moment that he was lying. "Liar.." she called him out on it, feeling herself smile beneath his gentle stare.

"You looked peaceful.." Juice commented and reached down to gently brush some of her hair away from her face. She groaned then and reached up with her own hands to brush the rest of the strays away. She dread to think what she looked like to him first thing in the morning with her hair in all directions. Her actions made Juice laugh and she glanced back up at him, eventually joining in with his pleasant laughter.

"Don't laugh at my bed hair.. It's not like you have to worry about that issue.." she teased, reaching up to rub her hand back and forth over his short Mohawk. He laughed again, his grin lighting up his face which made a warm feeling spread throughout her stomach and up into her chest. He grabbed her hand then and lowered the back of it to his mouth, where she watched as he placed a slow kiss upon the back of her fingers. This only made the warmth within her increase, and she was suddenly aware of the thumping from the muscle beneath her ribs, responsible for pumping blood rapidly through her veins and creating such a warmth. His gaze flickered back up and she met his brown eyes and that was when he leant down to press a similarly gentle kiss upon her lips. This was a wake up that she could get used to, she thought as his lips touched her own. Cate tried to pull her hand from his in an attempt to reach for his face, but his fingers interlocked with hers and suddenly he had pinned her hand gently beside her head as he leant over her. A kiss which had started as an innocent, gentle peck to the lips was increasingly growing more heated as the seconds went by.

Their lips moved in sync, parting occasionally to allow the welcomed intrusion of a tongue from Juice. An involuntary groan sounded from deep within her throat, a sound of which she'd had no control over, as if something deep within was trying to make its way out and take over the reigns. Juice shifted above her so now that he was completely above her, his thighs nestled snugly between her own, which she'd parted to allow him more a more comfortable and favourable position over her. His lips began to travel then, moving slowly across her chin, and then her jaw, where he proceeded to trail gentle kisses down to her throat. The feeling of his teeth against her sensitive flesh triggered something within Cate, a deep animalistic lust which had been locked away for a long while, now released from it's cage. With knowledge of combat and a history of martial arts and self defence, she was accustomed to reversing holds and submission, which came in handy for what she was about to do. Without so much as a second of thought, she'd hooked a leg under his, Gaines some leverage and flipped them over in a swift movement so that Cate was now the one towering above him, sat over his groin, her hands now pinning his due to the sneaky reversal. She pulled back then to look down at Juice and his surprised expression, but desire glazed his darkening brown eyes. Suddenly he freed his hands and reached up to cup her face in his hands, his lips upon hers once more in a kiss which seemed even more heated than the one they had just shared.

As they kissed, Cate's hands reached down between them where her fingertips came into contact with the cold metal of his belt buckle which she began to make work on undoing. Heavy breaths and the sound of kisses filled her ears, along with the sound of her rapidly beating heart, and then the sound of a belt buckle being unclasped. Cate parted the belt, lowered the zipper and had intentions of reaching into his trousers when a shrill ringing of a phone filled her ears. Cate tried to ignore it for the time being, hoping the ringing would subdue and they could continue with their activities. But it didn't cease, the phone kept ringing. Cate broke away from the kiss with a groan and lifted her hands from between them to rest on Juice's shoulders, her forehead resting against his. She opened her eyes to meet his gaze and she suddenly laughed at just how typical it all was. Juice shook his head as he laughed, clearly disappointed with the interruption. He sat up and Cate went to climb off but he kept a hand firmly on her waist, keeping her in place as he reached across to the bedside cabinet where he retrieved his phone. She settled on his lap as he answered the call, shifting them back slightly so he could rest back against the headboard as he held the phone to his ear.

"Hey.. Yeah I remember.." Cate couldn't make out what was being said but she could hear a male voice on the other end of the phone. She knew now not to be concerned about who was calling Juice, they'd spoken about her concerns and Juice had come clean about everything and now she understood it all and didn't feel so insecure. As he spoke, Cate chewed on her lower lip in thought as she watched Juice, his gaze still fixed upon her face as he spoke into the phone. He reached up to cup her face with his free hand, his thumb gently brushing over the lip she had her teeth sunk into. Cate grinned gently and released her lip, instead taking the tip of his thumb between her teeth. He'd awoken a vixen within her.. and as much as she wanted to take things slow, she couldn't resist indulging slightly. She kept her gaze locked on his as she bit gently on his thumb before letting go and placing a small kiss on it. She leaned forward then and peppered small kisses on the areas of skin of his neck that were visible to her. "What time should I be there?" He spoke but his voice was somewhat strained now and Cate smiled as she continued her assault on his neck, aware of the effect she was having upon him as she felt him shift his hips beneath her. She felt him gulp beneath her lips and she gently bit into the area above his clavicle. "Right now?" She could hear the frustration in his voice, a mixture of the information from the call and her actions, she assumed. "Alright, I'll be there in 20." He ended the call. She heard the flip phone shut before a groan emerged from Juice's throat and before she knew it, he'd pushed her backwards, where she landed on her back with a laugh and he climbed over her again. "That was evil!" He playfully scolded before pressing a kiss to her lips as she laughed. He pulled back and when he did, she gazed up at him with a small smile.

"You've got to go?" She asked, even though she already knew the answer based on what she had heard. Juice sighed and nodded his head, sitting back on his knees.

"Yeah we've got Church and then some stuff to do.." he told her sadly and Cate pushed herself up into a sitting position. "I'm sorry.." he said with a sad smile and Cate shook her head, reaching forward to rest her hand on his thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Don't be sorry. It's fine.." she informed him with a smile, before gesturing with her head towards the door of her bedroom. "Now get moving before I change my mind.." she teased and was pleased to see a small grin appear on Juice's face.

"I wouldn't mind that.." he said, whilst leaning in again in an attempt to kiss her but Cate moved her head and shot up from the bed, turning to face him with a smile.

"That's enough of that for this morning.. You save them for later though?" She suggested as she retrieved his kutte from the end of the bed and tossed it gently towards him. He caught it and got up onto his own feet and she watched how his muscles twitched in his arms as he shrugged on the leather.

"Oh I'll hold you to that.." Juice replied in a playful voice, whilst slipping on his trainers.

"Tonight then? Dinner?" Cate suggested as she walked backwards out of the bedroom, watching with a sly smile as Juice followed her out of the room sporting his own smile.

"You cook?" He asked, reaching for her shoulders where he turned her around so that she was facing the right way as they walked through the hallway, his hands moving down to rest on her hips before they reached the stairs.

"Well, I don't know? I can try.." she joked, resulting in a laugh from behind her as they descended the staircase. They reached the bottom and crossed the small landing where the front door was situated. Cate turned around then to face Juice who was a lot closer than she had expected. He wasn't much taller than her, but enough so that he had to glance upwards slightly to meet his state. His hand rested gently on her waist as he looked down at her and Cate swallowed hard, her throat suddenly feeling dry again.

"I'll call you later?" He suggested in a low voice. She could feel his fingers gently brushing up and down her waist and even though the material of her tshirt was between their skin, she still felt goosebumps raise across the surface where he touched.

"You better." She playfully threatened and this time it was Cate who made the first move, reaching up onto her tiptoes to meet his lips in a firm but otherwise gentle kiss, innocent in contrast to the kisses that had taken place upstairs not even 5 minutes beforehand. She pulled back and rested her feet back onto the ground.

"I'll see you later." Juice said before letting go of her waist and opening the front door which he then walked out of. Cate held the door open and watched from the shadows of the doorway as Juice got onto his bike and started the engine. It couldn't have been late as the early morning sun wasn't totally high in the sky yet and the birds were still chirping. She watched as Juice kicked off his kickstand and rolled his bike backwards off her drive. She smiled and gave him a small wave before the sound of the engine being throttled ripped through the quiet neighbourhood as he departed. Cate watched as his bike disappeared from view before casting her gaze over to Gemma's house out of habit. And there stood by her own car, was Gemma herself, a big smirk present on her face, even from the distance she was at.

"Well, good night sweetheart?" Gemma called over in a questioning yet teasing tone of voice. She'd obviously seen Juice's bike outside and had now just witnessed him leaving first thing in the morning. Cate couldn't help but smile even though she tried to her best ability to hide it and she rolled her eyes.

"Have a nice day, Gemma!" Cate responded, resulting in a laugh from the older woman, as Cate then closed the front door, separating herself from her curious friend. She headed into the kitchen to grab a glass of water before heading back upstairs to her bedroom where she slumped back down into her bed and stretched across the messy sheets which now smelt a lot like the biker who has worked his way into her life and her safe place. Cate inhaled deeply, feeling completely overwhelmed by his presence. She lay on her back, an arm resting across her stomach whilst the other hand rest by her head.

She closed her eyes and found herself thinking about the way Juice kissed her so desperately and heatedly. The way it had made her felt as as if she'd never been kissed by a man before. Her whole body had been on fire and she'd wanted nothing more than for him to have his way with her right there in the comfort of her own bed. Cate hadn't been intimate with a man in over a year.. she'd completely shut off and had made no attempt to connect with anybody, let alone the opposite sex. She'd detached herself emotionally from everything. She'd been numb and void of emotion for so long and now, she felt alive again and was reminded of the excitement of lust and desire. As her mind replayed the scenes from their heavy make out session, Cate's hand which had been resting on her stomach, slowly lowered downwards and she pushed it beneath her underwear to the warmth of her womanhood which lie beneath the material, slick with desire from her time with Juice. For the first time, in a long time, Cate touched herself to the thought of a man, and brought herself close to a climax which she'd long forgotten how to get to and what it felt like. Desire was a wonderful thing, and she had missed it dearly. The last thing she thought of before delivering herself to an oblivion was Juice's eyes and his lips upon her own, and suddenly Cate gasped and groaned and her body was alive with a welcomed and pleasant surge of electricity.

 _AN: I thought it would be interesting to have Cate explore her sexuality, since everything had been so bleak and numb in her life, due to her PTSD._


	35. Chapter 35

AN: Apologies for any typos, this was all done on my phone again! X

* * *

 **CHAPTER 35**

It had been an uneventful day for Hecate, her only highlight being her morning spent with a juice before he had to depart. She'd spent the rest of the morning tidying around the house to keep herself occupied, and had participated in a home work out in her back yard. It was now approaching 4pm and Cate had driven into town to buy some groceries. With a spring in her step, Cate wondered around the store with a basket in hand, collecting just a few bits she needed for her pantry. She felt happy and content which was unusual for Cate, but she was riding the high for now and allowing herself to enjoy it.. happiness was something that had abandoned Cate over the years, left her alone and victim to her demons. But now, she had a chance to remember what it felt like to experience happiness and it made her feel so much lighter, as if her shoulders weren't so heavy anymore with the weight of all of her burdens.

"Cate?" She heard from behind and she turned around to see none other than Wayne, suited and booted in his uniform, standing at the end of an aisle. He had a small smile on his lips and his thumbs hooked behind us utility belt.

"Hey Wayne.." she greeted, completing her turn and shifting her weight to rest on her better leg. "How're you doing?" She asked, watching as the Chief took a few steps closer to her to close the distance between them. If she'd been in a worse mood, she probably would have been upset at Wayne for keeping information from her about Juice. But after her conversation with Juice last night, she understood why secrets had been kept and she decided she wouldn't confront Wayne about it. Not yet anyway.

"I'm not doing too bad, sweetheart.." he answered in his gruff voice. His illness was no secret to her, she'd seen him in passing in the hospital a few times for his consultations. "What about you?" He returned, his eyes narrowing slightly as he looked over at her. He cleared his throat then and rolled his shoulders. "I mean.. I didn't get a chance to catch up with you after the charity fair.. you looked a little freaked.." he explained and Cate suddenly found herself remembering what had happened when she'd last seen him. Ross had appeared at the park, called her and behaved like a total stalker, and had fled the scene when she'd lost it and made a run for him. It had been a stupid and reckless attempt, there was no chance she would have caught him but she'd just been so damn angry. She refused to let anybody try to intimidate her. At this point in her life, she felt like she knew what she should really be scared of.. herself. Not some creepy psychiatrist who doesn't know when to call it a day.

"Oh.. That? That was nothing.." she answered with a shrug of her shoulders and a smile. It really wasn't worth all the hassle to admit what had happened to him. She could deal with her own issues. She appreciated the police and knew they had better and bigger things to be dealing with than Cate and her weirdo psychiatrist. Regardless, she doubted Ross was capable of anything bad. He clearly just couldn't handle rejection and failure with one of his PTSD 'projects'. "Just an unexpected call from an old friend, is all." She added, and watched as Wayne slowly nodded. It appeared as though he wasn't fully convinced with her story, but she didn't mind. He could believe what he wanted to believe.

"Alright then, Cate.. You know you can come to me if you have any problems.." he reminded her and Cate smiled, nodding her head in response to his words. He was always so friendly and reassuring.

"Yeah.. I know.." she replied. Could she thought? He'd retained information about Juice when she'd asked him about it. Trust was a 2 way street. But then perhaps he just didn't want to ruin anything that may have been blooming between herself and Juice? She mentally kicked herself out of it and cleared her throat. There was some chatter and static on Wayne's radio which broke the silence between them and took his attention away from her for the moment. She took that as her cue to leave. "I'll see you around, Wayne." She dismissed herself then and made her way towards the front of the store where the tills were located.

She was in the process of unloading her basket when she heard a commotion from outside in the street. It seemed to capture the attention of many, as she noticed the few customers within the store turn to glance a nosey eye towards the window. Some men she didn't recognise were stood on the sidewalk outside of the window, offensive tattoos adorning their arms and visible skin. They were Neo-Nazi's. She'd seen them around town before and found the sight of them quite offensive. She was all for religious beliefs but they were something completely different. A racist organisation of which she couldn't agree or wrap her head around. Regardless, they were outside shouting abuse towards a dark car in the street, the tinted windows down and the faces of some black men visible through them. She couldn't quite make out what was going on.

"Would you like a bag, ma'am?" The cashier asked and Cate briefly looked towards the young man and smiled, nodding her head at him.

"Yes please." She answered before turning her head back towards the window, just in time to see the first car speed off and another 4x4 take its place. And then all hell broke loose.

 **BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG**

The sound of a semi-automatic pistol filled the air, followed swiftly by the sound of shattering glass and screams from civilians within the supermarket and probably from the streets outside.

 **BANG BANG BANG BANG**

Cate's breath caught in her throat at that moment.

 _The sun was hot on her skin, beads of sweat dripping down her back and down the curve of her face. Smoke obstructed her view and her ears were ringing, so loud that she could barely even hear the sound of rapid gunfire around her. Yelling, from her own side and also in another language sounded from the distance, but she couldn't see from where as the smoke was so thick. She was on her knees, her hands pressed firmly over a soldiers torso, blood seeping through her fingers as she tried to apply pressure to the wound._

"Cate!" A hand wrapped around her waist and suddenly she was pulled from her memory, forced to the ground by a body from behind her, shielding her from the line of fire. It took a minute for Cate to remember where she was and what had happened. Her heart was thudding in her chest, her throat dry and her eyes wide. The gunfire had ceased but she could hear the sound of screaming and sobbing, becoming louder and louder as the ringing in her ears subsided. "Jesus.." she heard the voice from behind her speak, followed by more words and static from the radio, but she wasn't paying any attention. She rolled onto her stomach and looked ahead at the shop floor by the broken window, glass scattered across the ground. She then saw a puddle of blood slowly forming from behind the counter she'd been pulled behind. "Are you hurt?" Wayne asked. Cate shook her head as she slowly pushed herself up onto her hands and knees. Suddenly, instinct kicked in and Cate hurriedly pushed herself to her feet and made a run for the area by the window where she'd spotted the blood. "Cate, stay down!" Wayne had called but she'd paid no attention to him. Someone was hurt and she needed to help.

On the ground lay a young man, gripping his left shoulder and squirming in what she imagined to be pain. Cate almost skidded on the blood but she steadied herself before dropping to her knees by his side. He could have been no older than 21. "Hey there, buddy.." Her voice was strong considering what had just happened. His eyes, which were blinking rapidly, looked up at her from the ground. "Hey.. my name's Cate.. I'm a doctor, ok?" She told him and then reached out to remove his bloody hand from his shoulder. Blood began to ooze and she replaced it with her own palm.

"I.. I've been shot.." the boy stammered in a strained voice. Cate nodded her head as she looked his body over for any other damage, hoping there wouldn't be. But there had been a lot of blood, almost too much for a shoulder wound. She groaned quietly as she noticed a puddle of blood slowly spreading from under his back.

"Yes.. yes you have." She looked back over at his face with a smile. She didn't want to alarm him or make him panic by informing him of the severity of his wounds. "Wayne!" She called out whilst removing her hand from the boys shoulder. She needed to see if the bullet had gone through or not and then she needed to stop the bleeding as best as she could. "Ok, what's your name?" She asked, trying to make conversation with him as she tended to him.

"M-Michael.." Cate paused then and stared ahead. Michael, her lovely brother who had been taken from her too soon sprung to mind. "Am I.. I going to d-die?" The voice broke her out of her brief trance and she looked down at him and shook her head.

"No Michael.. no you're not." She told him sternly, was she trying to tell him that though, or tell herself?

"Sweet Jesus.." she heard Wayne say from behind her and Cate swallowed thickly.

"Wayne I need a hand.. I need you to find me anything to help stop the bleeding and I need it NOW!" She demanded, not even looking back to see if he had taken her order on board. Cate grabbed the boys shirt between both hands and ripped it open so she had better access and could see what she was dealing with. She pulled the sleeves down the boys arms and freed him of the tshirt. It was then she saw the second entry wound on the right side of his abdomen. "Michael, I'm gonna roll you now to check for exit wounds, ok?" She informed him and swiftly rolled the boy into his side. She leant over his body and examined his back. Surely enough, there was an exit wound on his lower back but not one on his shoulder, which meant the bullet was still in there. It didn't concern her however, she was mostly concerned by the abdominal wound. He was bleeding out quickly and judging by the amount of blood already lost, they didn't have much time to play with. It was then she heard fast approaching footsteps followed by Wayne dropping to his knees on the other side of the boy, who she still had rolled. The poor thing was groaning in pain. "Give em to me.." she demanded, holding out a bloody hand towards Wayne who piled bandages into her hand.. perks of being shot in a supermarket. "I need to stop the bleeding until we can get to the hospital.. ambulance is on the way?" She asked whilst piling bandages over the exit wound, going as far as to push some of the bandages into the wound which made the boy cry out in pain. "I'm sorry.." Cate whispered before rolling the boy back onto his back. The bandage wouldn't do much, but it would for for the moment.

"They'll be here in a couple of minutes.." Wayne answered.

"I don't.. I don't feel so good.." The boys voice was quieter and she looked up at him, noticing how much paler he looked now.

"I know, buddy.. just hold on for a few minutes.." Cate spoke whilst piling bandage over the abdominal entry wound and also on the shoulder wound. She gestured for Wayne to apply pressure to the shoulder as she applied pressure to the abdomen. With her free hand, she reached for the boys wrist to feel his pulse which was thready and weak. Wayne must have noticed the look of concern on Cate's face. She clenched her jaw and pushed down on the bleeding abdominal wound with both hands. He was bleeding out and there was nothing she could do until the ambulance crew arrived. Cate took a moment to look around her and she could see some people still cowering in the ground, others were comforting each other and a couple were watching the events unfold on the ground. Cate looked back down and the boy's jaw was now chattering, it wasn't a good sign and Cate suddenly felt concern and anger flare up within her. "Hold this.." Cate gestured to Wayne, who took over and applied pressure to the abdomen also. Cate pulled her hoodie off over her head and lay it over the boy, she knew it wouldn't do much but it would at least give him that comfort.

She could hear sirens in the distance now, and a little bit of relief sparked within her chest. But almost as if the cruel and almighty God had heard her relief, he delivered another blow, another problem. The boys eyes rolled and his breaths seized. "Shit!" Cate yelled. She raised herself up on her knees and reached up to the boys neck, feeling for a pulse, which was barely even there anymore. She reached over the boys chest where she began compressions. She pumped for 30, gave 2 sharp breaths into the boys mouth, and then repeated the process. "Come on.. Don't you let go.." She growled out whilst continuing her CPR on the young boy. She didn't know how long she was there doing the compressions, but she could hear Wayne's voice in the distance but she couldn't quite make out what he was saying. Reflections of flashing blue and red caught her peripheral vision and she then saw a paramedic crew opposite her. She recognised them from work. Cate witnessed them removing the defib to set up. It was all taking too long though. He'd been out for too long. Cate removed her hands from his chest, and whilst they were preparing the defibrillator she suddenly brought her fist down on the boys chest, performing the precordial thump in the hopes that it might give his heart the shock it needs to start pumping. The crew applied sticky pads to the chest and sat back as the machine did its job. "Shock advised. Clear." They made space and the machine delivered a shock, sending brief convulsions through the boy's body. Cate sat back on her knees, watching the scene unfold in front of her. He couldn't die. Not Michael. Not so young. Not like this.

"Shock advised. Charging. Clear." The automated voice from the machine sounded, and another shock was delivered. Silence ensued as they waited.

"No shock advised." Cate perked up at this point and reached forward for the boy's neck. There was a pulse, a faint and irregular one, but a pulse none the less. A breath of relief fled from between her lips.

"Take care of him.." Cate told the ambulance crew who started to do their job on the young boy. Wayne, who was stood at her side, reached a hand out for Cate, which she took and allowed him to help her to her feet. "Thank you.." she spoke quietly, exhausted after everything that had happened.

"Come on.. let's get you outside." Wayne said, reaching a hand behind her shoulders as he guided her out from the store. Shock was settling in now. She hadn't been around gunfire since her army days. Unless she included her small mental break down, which she didn't. Sunlight flooded over her as she exited the building. It was then she noticed the bodies of the Neo-Nazi's on the ground. All this had been meant for them, but a young man had been hurt in the cross fire. This was how all wars worked, claiming innocent bystanders as victims.

"Cate?!" She suddenly heard and her gaze was instantly drawn towards Juice, who was stood by his brothers and their bikes at the opposite end of the street. Cate instantly felt herself being pulled away from Wayne and walking towards Juice, who was hurriedly rushing over to meet her. Cate ducked under the police tape and ran the last few steps where she was caught in Juice's outstretched arms. He held her firmly against his chest and she suddenly felt safe within his arms. "What happened? Are ya hurt?" He asked, concern heavy within his voice. He held her away from him with his hands on her shoulders, looking down at her. Cate shook her head and looked up at him, suddenly feeling weighed down due to the events that had occurred. She glanced down and lifted her hands, covered in blood up to her elbows, blood down her shirt and on her knees.

"It isn't mine.." she whispered, clenching her fingers into fists as the familiar rage began to bubble beneath the surface. Clearly Juice noticed, as his arms wrapped around her again and he pulled her into his chest. "Don't leave." Cate chokes out, gripping the back of his kutte between her bloody fingers.

"Never." Juice spoke into her hair, as they embraced in the middle of the street, the crime scene of which she'd departed, thriving with energy. She glanced sideways towards it and watched as paramedics emerged from the building, boy on their trolley, airway preserved with a tracheal tube and bag. Their faces were glum and she wasn't surprised. The sight broke her and she turned her head into his chest, hiding her silent tears from the world.

"Take me away from here.. please.." she asked of him, needing to be away from it all and needing to be with him.


	36. Chapter 36

AN: sooooo I'm back! I'm so so sorry for abandoning Cate's story. I am still without a laptop and my life has just been hectic! But I have returned and I have missed you all dearly. So jumping right into it.. I give you chapter 36! As always your thoughts and reviews are always welcomed and appreciated. PS. There seems to be some layout issues on the app, and I can't access the website for some reason - so apologies if it all seems crammed! I just want to get it uploaded for you all. Jade x

 **CHAPTER 36**

"Cate?" Juice's voice broke her out of her thoughts, bringing her back into reality. She must have zoned out for the entire journey on the back of his bike, as they were now far from the scene of the crime and parked up at Teller Morrow. Cate looked around, the lot was empty of people and missing the infamous Harley's - it was then she remembered seeing them all outside of the supermarket when Wayne ushered her out of the scene.

"Cate, are you alright?" Juice asked and she looked towards him, stood beside her as she remained seated on the back of the bike. Slowly she nodded her head. Of course she wasn't _fine_ but she was still registering everything that had just happened.

"I'm not sure.." she admitted quietly. She then began to lift her leg over the back of the bike to get off it and she felt Juice place his hands on her waist, supporting her. His touch was calming and she found it endearing how much he seemed to care about her wellbeing. "Thank you." She added once she was on her feet and she looked up to meet his gaze and gave him the smallest smile she could muster.

"You're welcome.. c'mon." He insisted and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, guiding her towards the entrance of the garage. It was eerily quiet with nobody around, a place like that wasn't supposed to be quiet; it was supposed to be loud and full of clanging and banging and music from stereos. "Would ya like a drink?" He asked.

"Water would be great.." she answered, suddenly aware of how dry her mouth felt and how rough her tongue felt against the roof of her mouth. She felt his arm disappear from her shoulders as he left her at the bar to go behind it. He ducked down behind it and appeared back into view with a bottle of water.

"Here ya go." She watched as he unscrewed the cap and then passed it to her. Cate reached out to retrieve the bottle, she grabbed it with a hand covered in dry blood and it was then, when she caught sight of the dry blood, that she came crashing back to Earth from her temporary state of numbness. She swallowed the hard lump in her throat before taking a few big mouthfuls of the refreshingly cold water, appreciating the feeling of it soothing her dry throat.

"I need to get this off me.." she said after placing the bottle down on the bar, looking directly at Juice, avoiding making anymore eye contact with the evidence of what had happened lathered across her pale flesh. "I need to get it _off_ me right now.." her voice sounded weaker and it broke at the end. She could feel her heart gaining speed within her chest, thumping quicker and quicker with every second that passed. She was starting to fall into a panic attack, something she could usually control quiet well but today was different. "Please Juice.. I _cant_.." Juice rushed around from behind the bar to be by her side, where she felt his hands on her hips, tugging her gently away from the bar she'd been stood against.

"Shh, it's ok.. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere." His soothing voice sounded from behind her and Cate did her best to listen to every syllable as a distraction. "Let's go get you cleaned up, I have a room back here.." he continued to speak and Cate just walked, allowing him to guide her to their destination freely. They stopped at one of the doors scattered across the dimly lit corridor and he stepped in front to unlock the door and push it open. "Here we go.." he spoke, stepping inside and holding the door open for her. Cate stood there for a moment, gazing in at 'his room' before clearing her throat and entering the room. She took a few slow steps into the centre of the room and heard the door shut behind her. "So this is my room.. where I sleep.. I mean I do have a _place_ but I spend most of my time here." He was rambling nervously, she could hear it in his voice. And despite all of her anxiety and stress about what had happened, she still managed to pull a small smile at the sound of his own anxiety. At that moment though, she couldn't take it all in just yet, her mind was too preoccupied thinking about the fact that she was covered in that young boy's blood.

"Juice I really need to shower, I can't _think_ about anything else while this is on me.." she explained, turning to face him, her eyes stinging from tears that threatened to spill.

"Of course!" He enthused, rushing forward to the door at the back of the room which upon opening, revealed an en suite with a shower. She'd never been so happy to see a shower. Cate followed Juice inside, where he took to turning on the shower and she was already undressing before he'd even got a chance to leave. "I'll be right outside, ok?" His voice reverberated off the bathroom walls above the sound of the running water and Cate just nodded her head, wiggling out of her jeans. They felt damp on the knees but she tried not to think about it as she stripped. She knew Juice had left as she'd heard the door close behind her. Within seconds, Cate had stepped into the shower and closed the door behind her. The hot water was a blessing, hammering down on her skin, burning and melting away the evidence of what she had just experienced.

She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, stepping under the shower head completely, allowing the water to rain over her, cleansing her. However by closing her eyes she had welcomed visions of what had happened into her mind; the state the young boy had been in, the blood, the way his eyes rolled back when his heart had temporarily stopped. Cate opened her eyes with a quiet sob, she looked down and lifted her arms, the blood all but gone, apart from a few tougher patches which had dried more than the rest. She scrubbed at her arms until they were sore and flushed pink from the repetitive rubbing. Finally, it was all gone, rushing down the drain in a rosé whirlpool.

She stood under the shower for a minute longer, silently crying, content in knowing that nobody could see her or hear her thanks to the running water. She didn't want to cry, she didn't want to feel so weak and vulnerable. But it had all been such a shock and his name had been Michael. What were the odds of that? If there was a God, why was he so cruel? Hecate drew in a deep breath, regained a sense of control and twisted the knob of the shower to turn it off. She stepped out and reached for a towel, wrapping it around her body and securing it by tucking the corner of it under the section over her chest. She grabbed the smaller towel and began squeezing her wet dark hair within it with one hand, whilst opening the bathroom door with the other.

Hecate emerged from the bathroom to find Juice sat on the edge of his bed, fingers tapping against his knees, head down. But that soon changed when he heard her and she caught his stare as he quickly looked up and towards her. He looked so concerned and in one sense it made her feel bad and in another, it warmed her heart to see someone care for her so noticeably.

"Are you ok?" He asked, standing up from where he'd been sat at the end of the bed and turning to face her, standing across from her.

Cate smiled a little and gave a nod of her head, awkwardly rubbing the toes of her right foot into the rough carpet beneath them and squeezing her wet curls with the towel. "All better now.." she said in a quiet and somewhat lighthearted tone of voice. She watched as his lips turned into a small smile, that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Honestly, it was just a shock, Juice.." she spoke, slowly walking towards him. "One minute I was paying for my groceries, the next... _madness_.." she continued, pausing as she sat down on the bed just next to where he had previously been sat. "And that boy who got wheeled out.. he'd been shot.. twice.." she watched as Juice sat back down beside her before turning her gaze to stare ahead at where a mirror had conveniently been put on the wall. She could see herself, her face fresh and clean, her skin pale as always, but in her eyes there was sadness.. she glanced away and back down at her hands which were now placed on her lap. "He was in really bad shape.. lost him once.. but I managed to stop his bleeding until the paramedics got there.. his name was Michael.." she trailed off then, a pain twisting in her chest. She heard Juice sigh and then felt one hand squeeze at her left hand and another reach across her back to pull her into his side.

"Shit, Cate.. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.." his words were sincere and sad, Cate just gave a small shrug of her shoulders.

"I'd say wrong place at the wrong time.. but it's a good thing I was there, right? I mean.. that boy might stand a chance now.." she tried to find the positives in the shitty situation. He'd of died there and then if it hadn't been for her, so perhaps he stood a chance at survival. She didn't know what the future held for him but she hoped he'd survive thanks to her help.

"Oh he definitely has a fighting chance if _you_ had anything to do with it.." Juice complimented and squeezed her shoulder. Cate instantly broke out in a smile and a small laugh escaped her mouth.

"Are you trying to be cute because I'm in a towel?" Cate joked quietly, turning her head to look up at his face, catching him with his infamous eye-reaching grin.

"No way!" He gasped, feigning shock and Cate smiled, shaking her head. And then his lips were on hers but it wasn't a forceful or heated kiss, it was a gentle one, his warm lips pressing perfectly against her own. It lasted seconds but it was all she needed. Cate pulled back and smiled, opening her eyes to meet his own brown ones.

"Thank you for being there for me.. my knight in shining leather.." Juice laughed, a hearty, genuine laugh and in turn, it made Cate laugh, which was something she really needed.

"That's a good one, babe.." Juice complimented her play on words but Cate was too busy calming down her belly which had erupted with butterflies when he called her ' _babe_ '. Cate cleared her throat and looked down at herself.

"I don't have any clothes.." she stated, pouting slightly as she thought about the predicament she had found herself in.

"Nope.. it kinda looks that way.." Juice began, the mattress shifting as he stood up from being sat beside her. "It's cool though 'cause you're _reallllly_ working that towel.." he continued and Cate rolled her eyes with a snort of a laugh. "You're just lucky that you've found a generous guy like myself who has clothes to spare and happens to be very charitable.." she watched as he moved over to a set of wooden drawers by the mirror and opened one of them to pull something out and then opened another to grave something else. "Not the latest trend but I believe beggars can't be choosers.." he turned to face her with a grin, holding out what appeared to be some jogging bottoms and a T-shirt. Cate smiled at the whole display, staring over at him wit a warmth filling her. She really _really_ liked this guy.

"Well, thanks for being so understanding.." she played along and stood up, she took a few steps forward and reached for the clothes but he pulled them out of reach, a grin present on his face. "Juice.." she warned playfully, raising a brow in his direction. He gave in then and reached them back out to her which she grabbed swiftly. "Thank you." She said and quickly leant forward to place a quick kiss on his cheek before retreating back to the bathroom where she got changed. Not even a minute later she re-emerged in his clothes which swamped her but she couldn't really do anything about it. She heard Juice laugh and she rolled her eyes as she walked further into the room.

"You look cute." He commented and she rolled her eyes again and shook her head.

"Of course you'd say that.. I'm wearing _your_ clothes." She teases and tucked her hands into the pockets of the baggy jogging bottoms.

It was then a ringing from a cell phone sounded from his direction and she watched as he reached into his pocket and retrieved the device. He answered and held it to his ear, she watched as he listened and briefly spoke to whoever was on the other side. A ' _yes_ ' here and a ' _no_ ' there. As he spoke, she sat back down on his bed only this time she sat at the top and brought her legs up with her, pulling her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. She took a moment to look around at his room. It was immaculately tidy, his collection of DVD's looked neat, his electronics were arranged in some way on his desk, nothing looked untidy or out of place. She imagined that was down to his OCD but it made her smile, it was Juice's room all over, she was sure she could pick it out from a line up of rooms.

"That was Jax.." Juice's voice caught her attention and she looked back towards him, watching as he tucked his phone back into the pocket of his leather vest and began to walk towards the side of the bed she was on. "They've called a meeting.. it's here but I'm not sure how long I'll be gone.." he explained, sitting down by her, reaching out to put a hand on her bent knee.

Cate nodded her head briefly and smiled at him. "It's fine, I understand." She assured him, putting a hand on top of his, her fingers slotting between his knuckles.

"You can stay here though.. I mean, if you want to? You can watch the TV or have a nap or somethin'.. if you want.." he sounded uncertain, as if she wouldn't want to stay in his room - which was silly. Cate shook her head before twisting and changing her position so she was on her knees beside him, she reached out to cup the side of his head with her left hand, gently brushing her thumb over his cheek.

"Juice.." she began seriously and paused, staring into his eyes. "A nap sounds perfect.." she watched as he suddenly grinned and leant into the touch of her hand. She laughed, and even as he pressed his lips to hers again, she smiled.

"Juice! C'mon fella!" An Irish voice sounded from behind the door and Cate pulled back from the kiss with a chuckle.

"Go on.. before they revoke my invite." She teased. Juice laughed and gave her one last quick kiss on the lips before leaving her side on the bed.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." He spoke, to which Cate gave a smile and a nod as she watched him leave, closing the door behind him.

Hecate sighed heavily and lowered herself down onto his bed, resting her head on one pillow and pulling another into her chest to hug against herself. Juice made her feel so at ease and so happy, despite the horrors that had occurred only a couple of hours before. Her emotions were all over the place, crazy things just kept happening but she wouldn't deny herself the feeling of happiness, not when it was so hard to come by. So Cate closed her eyes, feeling somewhat content with where she was, her safe little Juice fort, and in only minutes she slipped into a much needed sleep.


	37. Chapter 37

**WARNING: mature themes ahead**. (I think a lot of you have been waiting for this moment!) as always your support, reviews and likes mean the world to me. X

CHAPTER 37

Cate awoke with a gasp for air as a loud **bang** brought her out of her sleep. She looked around the room, her heart thudding within her chest. She heard the bang of a door being slammed from outside of Juice's door and she settled once she realised what the sound was. Cate slumped down onto her back and drew in a slow and deep breath the try to calm herself. The noise had startled her out of her bizarre dream and she was thankful for it. She'd been sat in an empty room with her brother, where he just spent the time smiling at her from across the room, sat in a chair opposite her.

With her heart beating a lot calmer, Cate reached up and brushed some wayward curls away from her face and turned her head to look towards the window. It was getting dark outside, it was then she wondered how long she'd been asleep and additionally, how long Juice had been gone. She sat up at that point and shuffled to the edge of the bed, dangling her legs over and resting her feet on the rough carpet. More muffled talking and noises came from behind the door and she turned her head to look towards it, catching shadows passing in the little strip of light beneath the door. It was a busy place, whatever it was. She knew of the garage and the bar, but now apparently their were dorm rooms too.

Cate pushed herself up from the bed and onto her feet, reaching her arms up above her in a stretch, loosening muscles that protested with the movement. It was getting darker and so she looked around the room and noticed a lamp on the drawers, which she walked over to and turned on, the room immediately flooding with a soft and warm light. Her gaze travelled over the surface of the wooden set of drawers, completely tidy and unmarked. Her hand followed, her fingers gently tracing up the DVD cases stacked neatly on top of the surface.. they were in alphabetic order which brought a smile to Cate's face. She withdrew her hand and lifted her gaze, meeting her reflection in the mirror. In such a mild light, her scars were barely noticeable and she didn't look so fair. She looked healthy and fresh faced, aside from her tired eyes which gave it all away.

She leaned in closer, coming face to face with the girl in the mirror. She reached out slowly and touched the cold mirror, gently moving her fingertips across the areas of her reflection where her scars were. The mirror was cold, but the surface was smooth and flat and unblemished. With her free hand, she reached towards her own face where her fingertips were met with a rougher texture, small bumps where her scars were present. They were never _truly_ gone, even if the soft lighting of the room gave the illusion of unblemished skin, the marks of her past were still very much alive.

The sound of the door opening made Cate jump and she quickly pulled back, dropped her arms and stood straight, taking a step away from the mirror and turning towards the door.

"You're awake." Juice stayed as he walked through the door, gently closing it behind him.

Cate smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "Looks that way.. that _or_ I'm back into sleepwalking.." she joked, enjoying the smile that spread across his full lips. She watched as he shrugged off his leather vest and the hoodie that he wore beneath it, revealing the black tight T-shirt he wore beneath, constricting his muscular and tattooed form. Cate swallowed and turned her gaze away and she cast an extra glance into the mirror, suddenly aware of the presence of her unquenched sexual appetite towards Juice.

"What are you lookin' at?" She heard him ask, his voice closer than before. She sighed and gave another small shrug of her shoulders, turning to look back towards him with a small smile tugging at her lips. He was standing closer now, an inquisitive expression upon his beautiful face.

"It's nothing.." she begun, but she was a bad liar and she knew Juice would notice that she was hiding something. "I just.. sometimes I forget about my scars.." she admitted, her tone somewhat timid. She watched as Juice's expression softened and something in his eyes changed. She watched him as he advanced towards her, stopping in front of her. She then felt his hands either side of her face, his thumbs brushing her soft cheeks, over the areas her scars resided.

"You're _beautiful_ Cate.." he said and Cate's heart felt like it had burst. "You're the most beautiful women I've ever seen.. I don't even see your scars." He continued which only made her heart leap even more. Acting on pure instinct and everything that just felt right, Cate captured his own face between her hands and pulled him close, pressing her lips against his in a passionate kiss which he returned instantly. She felt his hands lower, one cupped the back of her neck and one travelled lower to her waist. His touch and his kiss left hyperactive butterflies in her stomach, a sensation she'd never felt before. With a small tilt of her head she deepened their kiss, her tongue introduced itself, passing between his lips to greet his own. She heard Juice groan and nothing had ever made her feel so heated before.

Something must have snapped because Juice dropped both his hands to her thighs and hoisted her up in a display of strength. Cate wrapped her legs around his hips, their kiss temporarily broken as she met his gaze, his head still cupped between her small hands. She could hear his quickened breathing, feel it on her face, she could feel the heat between their bodies and everything felt perfect. She smiled then and barely had a second to notice the one he sent her in return before they'd resumed their heated kiss. Like a cat in heat she pushed her body tight against his and she felt his hands grip into the flesh of her ass as he held her tight against his upper body, her legs wrapped tight around him. She was aware of movement but paid no attention to their route. Seconds later she was being lowered down onto the bed she had been napping on not even 15 minutes before.

Juice was now above her, seemingly taking control of their encounter. Suddenly his mouth was trailing away from her lips and moving slowly across her jawline, to her ear and then down to her neck - leaving her terribly aroused. Her breaths were practically coming out as pants at that point, and a groan broke free from her throat as he nibbled with his teeth at the sensitive part of her neck. Cate lowered her hands down his back and reached for the edge of his shirt, desperately tugging it up in an attempt to remove his clothing. Juice sat up on his knees for a moment as he finished the job, pulling his shirt off over his head. As he did this, Cate watched, propped up on her elbows. He was muscular and adorned with tattoos on his olive skin, a skull on either side of his chest, some words which she didn't pay much attention to at that moment. She reached out and traced her fingertips down his chest, starting from his clavicle, all the way down to his abdominal muscles.

"You're beautiful too.." she told him, her voice soft. She glanced up at his face and immediately grinned when she saw his own expression. But his eyes were dark and lustful and she could only imagine hers were the same, she hadn't been with a man in a long time. Cate then sat up with him and pulled the top he had leant her off over her head. She watched as his gaze lowered and his eyes seemed to darken further, if that was even possible. Suddenly they were on each other again, kissing with fervour, as if they needed each other to survive. As they kissed, one of his hands lowered, skimming over her throat, down her sternum and to her chest where he cupped her bra covered breast and gave a squeeze. Cate moaned into his mouth all while lifting a leg around the back of his thigh, pulling him tighter to her body.

Things seemed to change at that point, she was becoming desperate and she could only imagine that he was too. Suddenly they were stripping each other of their remaining clothes all whilst kissing, only breaking away if they had to catch a breath. His hands tucked into the waistband of the bottoms she had borrowed, his thumbs catching the band of her underwear too which he pulled down all in one go, stepping off the bed for a moment to pull hers off completely. Cate watched, not feeling at all vulnerable by her exposed position on the bed. He seemed to stare at her, looking at her as if she was dinner and he had been starved for weeks. She watched as he unzipped his jeans and removed them, along with his underwear. Cates thighs unintentionally pressed tight together as she lowered her gaze to his manhood; he was definitely gifted. Cate reached back at this point and unclipped her bra, the last remaining scrap of clothing, which she threw to the side. And as she did this, Juice crawled back onto the bed, moving over her, his knee nudging hers apart so he could find his position.

Cate looked up at him as he lowered his torso and cane to rest on his left elbow beside her head. He leant down and kissed her again, slowly this time, as if savouring the moment. Cate moved her lips slowly against his in return and suddenly a gasp escaped her mouth as she felt a touch down below. Her eyes opened and caught his intense gaze. His fingers slowly circled between her legs and she thought she could die. She'd been waiting for Juice's intimate touch for so long now, and it was everything she had hoped it would be.. but she was desperate for me. Cate pulled his face to hers and kissed him deeply for a few seconds before pulling back where she made her demands.

"Quit teasing me.. I want you _now_." She gasped into his ear and he didn't seem to need anymore persuasion than that, because seconds later she felt him pushing against her, his face buried in the crook of her neck. It took a few pushes to get past her walls and then suddenly with a deep thrust, he'd bottomed out. Cate gasped an "oh my god" at the feeling of him deep inside her, her legs wrapped tight around his waist, hands curled around his biceps. He set a steady rhythm at that point and Cate felt like she was on another planet. It didn't take long for her first orgasm to creep up on her, and obviously sensing that she was close, Juice found what she liked and kept at it. Cate gasped and clawed and had to bite on his shoulder to stop herself from crying out as her climax took over her. Juice saw her through it and kept going, the sounds he was making in her ear were hot and she enjoyed them. He lifted his head from her shoulder and pressed his lips back against hers as he slowed down his thrusts and they just enjoyed each other for a moment.

Cate suddenly twisted and flipped themselves over, she sat up and began to rock upon him, wanting nothing more than to satisfy her new partner. His hands touched her all over as she moved and she looked down at him, a look of concentration on his face as his hands found her hips.

"Fuck, Cate.." she heard him say in a strained tone, his face suddenly flushed. She knew he was close. Cate grabbed him by the elbows and pulled him up with her, creating a different angle for him. She cupped his head, pressed her forehead against his as the moved with each other, his thrusts speeding up. Suddenly he buried his face into her shoulder with a loud, chocked groan as he met his release, their movements slowing down before falling to a stop altogether.

Cate traced her fingertips over his scalp as she tried to calm her breathing, her heart hammering away inside of her chest. She heard Juice let out a shaky breath against her neck and an instant smile pulled at her lips.

"Wow.." Juice mumbled into her flesh before pulling back to face her. His face had a shine from sweat and she smiled, reaching out to rub the palm of her hand across his forehead.

" _Wow_." She repeated and watched as he grinned. She slowly leans forward and placed another kiss upon his lips, but what had started as a gentle kiss turned into something much more heated and before she knew it, he'd flipped her onto her back and they began their dance again for what was set to be a _long_ night.


End file.
